A teacher once said to me, when I first met him, and was introducing myself, instead of introducing himself, he said:

"You look like a mouse! :D"

o.o

I've had some weird teachers in my time.

One day I was sitting in class, and I said "I <3 YOU MR TEACHER!" (obviously, I did not really call him Mr Teacher and I do not talk in emoticons. xD)
So he threw a pencil sharpener at me, and was like
"STOP THAT, YOU DO NOT."
"...I <3 YOU MR TEACHER!"
"Keep doing that, and I'll give you a referral."
"For what?!"
-checking over referral form- "Eh... gang related activity?"

I also had a teacher who would get horribly, horribly pissed if you sang in her class. She was fine with talking, loudly and obscenely, but start singing and she would get really angry. And she never actually gave us a reason why, either, because it's not like singing is any more obnoxious than yelling at the top of your lungs e_e

We were watching this math video one day and the guy talking in it had like a rough voice like he had to clear it. The teacher went "Ahem" while he was talking, that had just been my day. He was so cool, Mr. Shanks, he would say Goober a lot in a joking manner, too. Why couldn't I have more teachers like him? =3

Wow uh...Lets choose one! >w<
I think the current most annoying and weird was that I had a book on my desk that has a slightly odd cover of a girl that just happens to be an awesome book and my teacher leaned over and called it a trashy romance. That seriously pissed me off. And it was weird. >3>

One thing that sticks out in particular was my math teacher in high school. He said one day "A lot of things happened in a lot of places..." and a very odd and awkward sentiment inducing expression follow.

@clar what book?

This happened to my friend:
Our really old never-been-married science teacher slapped her hands on the table and said "sleep with me i have aids." o.O

She's told us a lot about her life.
All I know about MS. PALMER:
+She eats oatmeal on the weekend, as a treat to herself.
+She lives on the first floor of an apartment building and is afraid that during an earthquake, all the other floors are going to collapse on her.
+She had a boyfriend. He was a pilot.
+She has never been married, and has never found anyone she has wanted to get amrried to.
+She has friends in Tennessee.
+She used to work in the South, as a teacher in a Christian school.
+Apparently they are smarter than most of us.
+She doesn't care about the economy, because she's going to be dead and we are the ones that have to deal with it.
+Her best friend is Ms. Cox [who is a much better teacher/sub.]
+She always wanted an Alaskan Huskey, until she read about how they need a lot of attention and one dog caused ten thousand dollars in damage in one day.
+She lives in Puyallup.
+Her favorite color is blue.

All this [and so much more] in one year.

My Language Arts teacher has said "sex [six] and shit [sheet/seat]." She also texts during class.
My friend overheard her and another teacher talking about how they went to a Snoop Dogg concert and he was the sh!t.

the wierdest thing a teacher has ever said was when he told the whole class to stop dicking around

one time when i was in class my fifth grade teacher told me that he got laid alot in high skool so that really creeped me out

I once had this teacher who used to teach severely autistic kids and he treated ALL of his students the same way he treated the mentally impared students. When I first met him, he comended me for using eye contact.

Oh, and when my Grandma died, he gave me a week to greive and then expected me to be over it. I was close to my Grandma so that just wasn't possible for me and my mom tried to tell him that. So he pulled me aside and said "Get over it! When my grandma died I was sad, but I got over it fast!" It took me several MONTHS to get over it because it was really hard for me.

"Could you teach me how to play the naruto game please?" in the middle of art.

I don't remember right now. But my Physics teacher makes a lot of bad jokes, they're not even worth hearing them.

And my Spanish teacher went crazy for a moment, she was explaining material for the next test and then she went like :

"What!? No! I don't want you here anymore! I want divorce right now!"

Maybe that reminds her of something ? :lol:

My teacher was batshit crazy about anything, seriously. xD
For example, I got my first lip piercing a couple years ago and the teacher said to me "If you don't take that out right now, it will get infected, and it will ooze puss, and your lip will fall off, and you'll get very sick and die painfully!"
...and to that I replied..."Cool. :D"
She hated me. :lol:

Oh and once I had this really funny ass teacher (Coolest Motherfucker ever. xD) I think his name was Mr.Greek or something? :sweat:
But anyways...
We were doing some kind of project making I.D.'s for something that I totally don't even remember now but he was passing around his wallet so everyone could see his.
So it goes around the room for a little while and the weird creapy kid drops it, everything falls out, and what do you know? "What's this thing?" Kid holds up a condom. Everyone but him cracks the fuck up. :rofl:
Mr.Greek was like "Uhhh..."

Funniest shit ever. SRSLY.

Hmm i cant really think of anything right now although there has been lots of weird things said.
The weirdest things teachers say are almost always sexual. Once i was in biology and me and a friend were laughing at one of the pictures, i think it was the inside of a colon or something but it was innocent laughing, i think we thought it looked like a shagpile carpet or something (this was 2 years ago i cant realy remember) and the teacher came up to us and said "ohh i know what you two are thinking" then winked and walked off, it was pretty weird and inapropreiate.

Also once when i was in media it started to rain really hard and a girl said "Im going to get so wet walking home" and the teacher sort of arched his eyebrows and said "ohh really hayley!?" ;) That was pretty creepy too.

Hmm this isnt really saying anything weird its just weird in general. I was in politics once and my teacher was walking around the class holding a tie over his face, while talking, me and a friend bust out laughing because thats such a weird thing to do, then he said "What? My flies arent undone" which just made it even weirder.

@strawberry shortcake: ID BE SO FREAKIN SCARED!!!

man my 7th grade teacher also tells really lame elephant jokes

Okay. I've not been in "school" meaning the building and taking classes in any building titled "school" since half- way through third grade ( my third grade teacher, in my opinion, should have had her teaching certificate or whatever it is that allows teachers to teach revoked. I came home from school EVERYDAY sick and so tired that once I got into the van I was asleep until dinner and I would go immeadiately to sleep afterwards. One of her students had an asthma attack and she did NOTHING about it ALL DAY! He ended up having to go to the emergency room later that day.), except for the local public school district's gifted program. I don't count that as "school" because the classes were fun and you got to pick them all yourself. In my last year at this gifted program my homeroom teacher (about five people, which I noticed, out of all of her "students" I was the only white kid. I don't have anything against those other kids, it was something I noticed.) Told us a joke*

* if you are offended by racist jokes DO NOT read the following joke

Teach: "Why are you not allowed to bring knitting needles onto a plane?"

Me: "because you could stab someone with them?"

Teach: "no, because you could knit an Afghan."

I told this joke to my mother and she told me to not tell that joke and she explained why (I was twelve when this happened. I am currently in my last year of "highschool".)

My "teacher" I.e. My mother has said plenty of weird things, but I can't remember any of them right now........

One of my teachers in high school always advised us to "keep it legal" every weekend.

I have LOTS of weird teachers. >.>;;
As in, no joke. x_x;;

Can't think of any specific ones right now, although my Natural Sciences professor would always enumerate things we should do before we die. =\
Like, he told us to go and commune with the mountains for at least a day in order to get in touch with the spirits of the earth. He of course has done it. xDD;;

And... I have LOTS more, but I'm braindead right now. D; </3

I have one for my mother! Yess!!

Okay. She has been talking about dancing.

"If a male can dance it really impresses the females. And if the male is a gentleman it impresses them more. Dancing is a mating ritual as well. If the female is a real lady is entices and impresses the males."

This has been going on for about ten minutes and I've just told her that what she's been saying has made me feel completely genderless. My sister them exclaimed "you're a transvestite! A gay transvestite!" (I am a girl who is straight.FYI)

Now she's talking about how it is really hard with "larger" males.

---3 minutes later---

I told her it would be weirder if it was the other way 'round. If the guy was shorter than the girl and the girl had a huge rack.

"That's interesting to watch"

That's all I have for now. If anything else happens I'll post it.

Well hm... I had a friend that told me something odd that his health teacher said to him. The teacher is a PE teacher and is kinda weird anyways, but this was the top dog of quotes.

"Hey Omar, ya know when ya have diarrhea, but it doesn't hurt? So satisfying..." D:

My history class last year, my teacher said "Bye Commy" to my best friend as she left the class then there was my old english teacher who said something about covering up boobies

I've had weird teachers. I know in one of the post my friend put about one of the teacher in here. Haha, That is pretty much it. I know my one teacher, who teaches me graphic design, she says a lot of weird things but not towards me. I don't communicate well with her. ^^;

Well I'm not sure if this is really weird,but I think it is. I'll share these things my teachers have been blabbing:

"What are you waiting for? MAKE A CIRCLE AND MAKE IT STRAIGHT!!!"
-My P.E. teacher

I think this is weird because well,how can a circle be straight if it's not made up of lines?

Here's another one:

"Well if you don't like that color, what colorful do you like?"
-My art teacher
This one's self explanatory.

That's all I got for now.

Well, my friend told me about this, teachers have never really said anything weird to me, but the teacher was leaving the class, and when asked why he was leaving he said "I have to go do my thing"

.. its funnier when she tells the story I think >_>