Originally Posted by maidenroseheart

Oh you mean when you go into threads, that no one talks to you? Is that what is happening?

That is it. I from time to time branch out - but it's rare. But yes, that is exactly what I am meaning.

Oh darling I am so sorry. *Gives her big hugs* That happens to me during events or if I peak into the large or fast threads. I went and talked so some people about it who had ignored me and they said they honestly had not seen my post. They were only looking for the next post from a specific person they were talking to. Still though it hurts when it happens and it doesn't seem to get any easier. For what it is worth, I'm really glad you found my thread :) I might not be very big, but I try to always respond to others.

*hugs* It's pretty much all the time now - I mean I get being overlooked during events, but now it doesn't even need to be during events. My posts almost always get overlooked, and then I get told off whenever I feel jaded about it. D: I wonder why! ((And people wonder why Mene makes me feel sad... and upset..))
It just feels to me, like they have their GROUP of people that they talk to and even though they say that they talk to everyone they sure don't. And it pisses me off. In a way it makes me want to go running for the hills and never look back.

And in a weird round about way... I'm SICK of them pushing us to post more... Because that only makes me feel even worse... Because I do try to branch out, but with what keeps happening, I don't want to... because I know that I'll get burned based on MANY MANY past experiences. And apparently because I keep talking about it, that's why many people think I'm being ignored - really... - and that I need to try harder to be more positive. But how can I be so positive when this just keeps happening to me, time and time again. One can only try so hard before they give up completely, and honestly, at this rate. I'm at the end of my rope. I made my quest thread, honestly, as a last attempt to keep myself here, but I'm not sure how well it's working.

I also feel like people are now only attempting to make the newbies feel welcome because we need more people and they MUST stay... but us oldbies have been forgotten, and overlooked, and omg, it just hurts... Because I am tired of this, and I wish I didn't feel this way, but given what keeps happening, it is going to take a pure miracle to make things feel better in all honesty.

So that is why it's not something a moderator could help, because even they are the ones overlooking me... I probably only have like 6 people TOTAL who will notice me in threads now... or at least it only feels like 6.... and really, the more that I feel like it. I want to sell EVERYTHING and just run away screaming because Mene used to feel like home, but lately, I feel like most people just want me to pack up and leave. Which I may just do anyways. As I just feel like they try to shut me up and tell me that it's my fault, I did this to myself, I'm the reason that people don't want to talk to me... blah blah blah... make me feel like I'm imagining it, they'll talk to me for like 1/2 a day and then it freaking goes back to how it was... them being in their little cliques, and I'm ONCE again on the outside... LIKE I'VE BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE! I basically have gotten told to shut up and try harder... Really?! *sighs* I do try, but it feels like most other people aren't trying much, and it's getting really old.

Thanks! And sorry, I really didn't mean for that all to come out. I'm just sick of feeling like I'm being silenced... I can't keep it to me, and act all happy happy.. like I feel most people want me to be. D: Lately I've been feeling super yucky and the more I keep it in, the more it makes me want to cry, and the more I feel like giving up completely. :(

I'm so sorry darling. It must be so frustrating to try to branch out and to only be knocked back down. I'm here if you ever need a place to hang. This is actually my second hangout thread. The other was so slow and no one paid attention to the discount I put in there for my art shop, that I decided another approach was needed. You are welcome to go there. I know that Silver Storm, twotickets, Kirin, Start, and Poet would talk with you... if they get back in there again. Like I said, it slowed down. Trickled to none existence almost.

I'm glad that you have 6 friends. All in all, that is a good number. Better than one or two, but not so many that you can't keep up with everyone. So hang in there sweetheart. This place isn't entirely lonely. And if they are pushing for people to branch out a lot lately, that is because the site has had some concerns. They weren't personally telling you or me to branch out, but were hoping for in general better attendance as a whole. If that isn't your way, you don't have to do it. I do when I have time, but generally I don't so I am not on as often as it appears sometimes. Don't worry too much about that.

For me the weekday has started. Got to love Monday mornings. Every time one comes around, I think of Garfield comics. Thankfully though it isn't as big of a day as the other days of the week. How about you? What are you up to now?

Thanks. Honestly, due to my constantly getting knocked down, I honestly don't trust people enough, even when they say that they won't ignore me, because of what has happened. I'm shocked that I let myself actually come in here. I've had a few of those that you listed actually ignore me, and because I've gotten burned before I am rather hesitant to go into a thread with them now. Sorry! Honestly I feel like the more it happens, the more hesitant I get when it comes to actually talking to people anymore. I'm slowly dwindling into nothingness on here. D: At least that's how it feels. And I know that part is me, but it's not really all me -- like it's others overlooking me time and time again that have made me feel this way. :(

And I know that they aren't just targeting me, but then acting like we have to catch up to hummy... that we need to post more... that just makes me want to scream and run the other way. There are other ways to get people to post... I'm just sick of people seemingly pushing/guilt tripping (that's how I REALLY feel it is) me into doing something. Because that isn't right. I get that the site is struggling and the reasons behind it, but it just makes me feel like they're trying to guilt trip us into posting more.

As for the friends - it's really feeling more like 3 or so at the moment. I don't really know. I'm tired of people adding me as a friend and then never talking to me. seriously?! *grumbles and bangs her head into a wall*

Awww, Mondays - ewww! :( It's Sunday night here! And I just got back from a friends house and then going down to visit with my grandmother with my dad. :) It was fun! I'm back home now, and I'm back to having not as much internet as my mom loves to limit how much time I'm on. >.<

Well I suppose now that you mention it, Star and Kirin both tend to ignore people. They post like three words or one sentences instead of engaging in conversations with people. They are good people but bounce through threads awfully fast without paying attention to who is talking and who is not being talked to.

The craze that is going on to post more has really caused a lot of what you are upset over. I am trying to type bigger posts now to compensate for the lack of anything being said. I go into a thread and it looks like SPAM to me. Something this site tries to avoid. Yet everyone is just trying to get page numbers in so they only put a few words and move to the next thread.

I'm really glad that you took the plunge and came into this thread. Only one other person has stepped in and I wish that more would come. Still one person to talk to is better than no one. So even if you don't trust me, that is okay. Just don't leave me as long as you are on the site okay :D

They are not trying to guilt trip I think, though it comes across that way, as much as they are desperately trying to encourage more activity. I think you would be happier in the literature forum. The posts I saw in there the few times I ventured there were long and thoughtful. You knew that you were being responded to with a lot of thought. Less likely to be ignored and no spam ;)

Don't worry about having only a few friends. That just means your connections to them are deeper and more meaningful. Some people invest more of their energy into real life and this is just a place to take a breather. So don't let that get to you okay

Ah, limited internet. Make the most with what you have then. Can't be helped otherwise. Glad you got to hang at a friend's house. That is always nice to do. Also glad you went to see your grandmother. I would give anything to see mine, but, she is in another country >_< so that makes things hard.

Yeah, and that pisses me off - Kirin comes into one of my threads and I feel like it's all like short answers and when I try to talk about something that I need to get off my chest, it gets overlooked and turned into something that was more about her? *shrugs* Yeah, it bothers me, it does feel like a lot of 'spam' and in a way it makes me feel ignored. And lots of other people ignored. And the fact that it focus is more on the newbies... that doesn't seem fair at all. Because what about the rest of us as well?

It's not that I don't trust you. It's more I don't trust myself if that makes any sense? In a way it became an issue with the site, to an issue with myself because now I start beating myself up or something over it because in a way I start to feel that in a way it is my fault even when it's not mainly because that's what I keep getting told so I just wonder what it is that I'm doing, and it hurts. :(

Oh, Phoenix (the other one who came in here)- she lives in Australia so her time difference is crazy, plus she has slow internet. (She's my 'sister' not really but she is. We're just really good friends. I've flown down there to see her a few summers ago - 2 years this month actually since I flew down there, crazy!) I know she'll be back. I know she will. She doesn't get a lot of times to get on, that's for sure! But feel free to ping her if you want to get her attention. I know she won't mind. =] I've pinged her places before and she doesn't complain about it.

I know that it's not really a guilt trip, but it sure feels like it to me. Stop comparing us to Hummy....! D: That honestly gets to me... I post what I can... Geeze! I try not to let them get to me, but I guess I'm too sensitive sometimes. :( I won't leave. I don't think. I'm not sure yet what's going to happen. I feel like I'm trying to bribe myself with my quest thread, and getting CIs and stuff... but I feel like even that isn't working. :(

Yeah, I do get most of the days on Tues/Thurs, and whenever I go over to friends houses. Yeah, I don't get to see that friend or my grandmother often. So it was good! Awww! :( Can you skype with her or something like that?
I've not been home since Friday morning and it looks like I'm spending the night with another friend tonight! I'm doing jumping around between friends, but I'll be on tonight because of it! Yay for being able to steal free wifi.

Don't let her bother you. That is just her style and she is very extroverted. Extroverted people like that can't help themselves and they bounce all over without looking deeper. Just like introverted people read deeper and spend a lot of time talking more seriously. It is something that can't be helped. You two have a personality conflict if it is what happened between me and someone I met before.

I know exactly what you mean on the trust part. I do the same thing. It turns into an ugly cycle if you don't fight it. Takes a lot of will power to overcome too. If you ever need to vent, I'm here. But warning, I will try to pull you up and point you in a new direction ;)

So you know Phoenix then :) She seems like a cool person and I love her long post. I love your posts too. I feel like I am having a conversation. I went and mass posted in several threads asking questions and such since everyone was doing like three words each. They adapted a little and now are writing a full sentence or two so I am glad. I won't ping her... I use pings very rarely.

If you need a reason to stick around, how about roleplaying? Have you thought looking into that? I can recommend a person or two that you might enjoy roleplaying with. Also I am a roleplayer myself. So that would be a fun venue to explore if you are up for that sort of thing. I like fiction so I don't mind it, as long as the other person contributes to the story.

I've tried skyping but no one else seems to be on. If they are, it is when we are in different time zones. I've overseas in South Korea, so conveniently the same timezone as Phoenix. That makes getting ahold of family back in the states difficult. Last night my aunt and I were skyping and I asked her to call my mom and tell her to skype me. That was wonderful. It wasn't probably not the right time of day though to attempt to get a hold of my grandma. Mom and aunt both stay up at night, grandma doesn't.

Wow, you really are jumping between friends. That is wonderful and I am happy for you. Is it optional or do you have to?

I try not to. It makes it kind of hard to keep up a convo though when I feel like the conversation is always pulled back to her. It's getting to the point of me wanting to bang my head against a wall. I mean sure I should be happy, right? Someone isn't ignoring me. Yet all they want to do is talk about things they want or things they are doing... and not seeming to care about me... I can't do this!

It really is an ugly cycle, a stupid ugly cycle and one that lately has been making me want to cry. *pokes at the stupid ugly cycle*

Yep, I know Phoenix. =] I was the one who introduced her to Mene awhile back actually. Yeah, she's a very chatty person, and I can be too as well. And I can understand not using pings, I typically don't use them either - I rarely do either.

I used to roleplay, but I actually got out of it ages ago, because I never have any time or creativity to actually come up with a character and stick with it for long enough to make a roleplay worthwhile for anyone else. I did used to before my unplanned hiatus awhile back, that was due to school. And when I came back, nothing I did could get me back into it.

Awww! :( Time zones suck! I'm jealous that you're closer in distance to her! :( I hate being so far apart from her - it's 17 hours from me to her right now. I hate it! :( At least you got to skype your mom too! But I can get that that is tricky! When I was down in Australia 2 years ago with Phoenix, talking on the phone with my parents was hard to time, because of the time difference. >.<

Yeah, I really am. *laughs* But it's ok, I've not seen this friend in a week as she's been out of state with her mom, so this is fine. Plus I get to be on a bit more. :P Do I have to go over to her house - I really didn't. But did I want to. Totally! I can sleep in my bed tomorrow night! :P LOL!

She does have a tendency to bring it to be about her. Maybe she just doesn't have the social skill of asking others about themselves or commenting about others without a familiar reference to refer to. Whatever the reason, you two just don't seem to be cut out to as best friends ;)

Then let's break that cycle! I'm still here am I not? So you must be doing something right :D

Would you like to roleplay with me? I'm not saying you have to or anything. Just an offer. I can create the thread, set up the world, and let you hop into it if you want :)

Even though we are in the same timezone, we are still a long ways apart. She is in the southern hemisphere and I am in the northern. Still though, it would help with talking. I wish that there was a way for my family to be closer. I sure miss them a lot. Part of growing I suppose, though rebelling against becoming an adult is very attractive sometimes.

Seeing friends who have been gone awhile is always nice. You must be enjoying her company :) As well as your family's company. Make precious memories with them while you can!

My day is finally ending. Supper time so making some food. Brother sent me a care package with noodles and sauce so I can have velveeta shells. A luxury I would not otherwise be able to have. I miss American food, but I miss being home more.

Yeah, I can get that. I just am tired of it... >.< Makes me want to just bang my head into a wall, because I know how it feels to be ignored and she's posting in one of my threads, and I hate being ignored so I can't ignore her, but I JUST WANT people to meet me half way instead of making me do all the work! IS that too much to ask!?

True, but it still doesn't make me doubt that it'll happen again, as it's happened in the past.

Honestly, I don't know. I don't really feel like I have it in me to even do that. I used to enjoy it but now, it's more something that I'd do in my past, not now.

She is actually an hour ahead of you. :P But you are definitely closer to her than me. Can your family come down there and visit you?

Honestly here, I so can not wait to move back out again. I am getting so tired of being around my parents all the time. XD My parents nag nag nag me to get a job. And I need this time to just relax, not have to fight their nagging. D: It's not all it's cut out to be - seeing your family all the time.

Awww, that was sweet of your brother - sorry, I totally crashed and fell asleep on you there. At least you have that way of getting them. =] Phoenix sometimes sends me goodies that are hard to find over here, because they're Australian made and getting them over here would cost an arm and a leg. :P

Edit: So I just signed in a bit ago to the site for the school I am hoping to go to for next year, and I GOT IN!!!!! GAHHH! EXCITED!!!

Well, since she is in your thread, do your best. Just accept that she is that way and if she changes, it will be a pleasant surprise. That was advice given to me concerning someone in my family and I have found it takes a lot of the pressure off of myself.

Still you are here, talking with me, so you are doing something right. I'm glad you came to this thread. It would be lonely otherwise.

Hey no worries. If that is a past hobby then it can stay that way. No problem.

My family doesn't travel much. If they did, they wouldn't be able to afford to come here. So I have to content myself with seeing them once a year in February.

I know what you are saying about family. They have a hard time letting go of the parenting part and being just the family part. They mean the best but sometimes it is hard for each side to understand the other's mind.

Heard about the tornadoes in Oklahoma and saw some news footage online for the damage. A bit worried for everyone now that the weather is warm again. Will never move there. Hate being in danger's way.

Congratulations darling! That is really exciting! What are you going to study in school next year?

Yeah, although I'm starting to just feel like banging my head into a wall... I'm sick of having to try to find a way to be the bigger person and try to make it into not just about her. We'll see how long I can do this for before I go too crazy. D: One can only do it too long.

I'll try to get Phoenix in, one of these nights. Well nights for me. :P I shall her on Facebook till she gets on.

Awww, at least you get to see them in February. :)

Ugh, yes! Especially my mom sees me as not being social enough when I've never been as social as her, I've just been good at acting like I am. >.<

I've also been hearing about horrible weather in Texas. D: I have family in Texas! :( I hope that they're ok!

Thanks!!!! I'm continuing the major I've been for the last three years - Deaf Studies. :)

I'm sure that Phoenix to would really appreciate that. See if you can drag her into here as well. I wouldn't mind having more people here :D

You are very much an introvert aren't you. I'm sorry that your mother doesn't understand your view more.

I'm watching the news right now. Just watching and watching it. The tornado did a lot of harm :(

I know she'd do the same to me. Haha! And she knows me well enough that it's fine for me to do. I've known her since I Was 16. :)

Oh, I really am! I've just gotten good at hiding it so people believe the lie - because that's all they know. Because I didn't see it as being a good thing so I Was good at hiding it. If that makes sense. *shrugs* But what can I do about mom, I know she's trying, but at the same time, it's just annoying.

I can't watch the news. It upsets me too much.

I think you would really like to read a book titled "Quiet" by Susan Cain. I found it very amazing because it made the world make sense as well as explain why I'm different from what people want me to be. It is for people like us. After you read it, you might consider letting your mother read it. Once she has, she will be more understanding of you I think.

Understandably. The news isn't very balanced between good and bad. Usually leans towards the sad stuff.

I'll give it a check out. I'm actually kinda picky about books I read though. >.< It's super hard for me to get into books that don't fully interest me.

That is understandable. I hope this one interests you.

On the note of books, I definitely have my favorite genres and authors. I am hoping to read more by Terri Fivash if possible. I like Mercedes Lackey too.

Lately I've been reading a lot by Richelle Mead, Kristen Hannah and Laurie R. King. :) It's hard to get me to branch out much. xD

I haven't heard of those authors. What genre's do they write?

Mead has written the Vampire Academy Series. Spacing out on what Genre that'd be considered, but they are good books (and this is coming from someone who's not a huge fan of vampires. I am in LOVE with that series). And Richelle Mead's writing. :) Kristen Hannah writes romance, and Laurie R. King writes mystery. :)

Hmm... Okay :) I'm more into fantasy, action, and suspence thrillers. Though Lee Child wrote the Jack Reacher series and I love those.

I've never actually heard of any of those authors myself.

So how is your week going so far? :)

It is becoming kinda blah. I'm a bit homesick which doesn't help. It will pass soon enough though and all will be well.

Awww, being homesick sucks. How much longer are you there for?