Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-09-2015, 08:45 PM
Maybe you should purposefully try doing the opposite, since you're aware it's happening. Like, let your legs go for a week. Shave when and how you want them. Organize your day how you want it, more so if you catch yourself doing it in what would have pleased him. If something you're doing makes you think about him in a way that he would have approved, don't do it. (Unless you want to.)
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-09-2015, 08:56 PM
90% of the time I won't realize I'm doing it until I'm halfway through. But it's a good suggestion. I think maybe I'll try it some. I'll go buy a geometrically patterned dress, wear my hair up with my eyeliner he didn't like, and paint my nails instead of doing Jamberry. And maybe shave without shaving cream.
I just hate that he's still in my head.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-09-2015, 10:17 PM
Even if you catch yourself when you're mostly through the activity, you're still catching yourself. The more you catch, the "easier" it will become. It puts that mental block up faster and faster, so that eventually the influence lessens, and hopefully outright fades away.
How did the date with the new person go? Any future dates or are you just focusing elsewhere for a while?
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-09-2015, 10:42 PM
I hope so. I don't want him in my head. I don't want him to have that over me anymore.
New guy is very sweet. We've had several dates and hung out a lot. He's very young and it won't go anywhere serious, because he's just not ready for that. But he's constantly telling me I'm beautiful and he's there for me and doesn't ask anything of me. So I think for now he's exactly what I need to get back on my feet.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-09-2015, 10:51 PM
That does sound ideal! A man who will boost self-esteem and self-worth without clinging or demanding the demands of, well, a relationship. xD Win!
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-10-2015, 02:54 AM
He is so very sweet. And super attentive. Poor guy has seen me break down far more than is acceptable for anyone I've only known for a little while and he's been incredible about it.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-10-2015, 06:21 PM
Then maybe a lasting friendship will be the end result. Those are always good!
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-10-2015, 06:38 PM
Indeed. He really is a great guy. I'm very fond of him
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-11-2015, 12:05 AM
Uuuugh, this day will never end! Dx
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-11-2015, 03:21 PM
*hugs* I hope you get some sort of break today!
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-12-2015, 11:22 PM
I work the weekend. T___T
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-13-2015, 06:00 PM
Damn girl. This job is going to kill you!
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-14-2015, 11:11 PM
I ended up with today off, so it's not too bad. And I had car issues earlier in the week which kept me not working Monday and Tuesday (except via the phone). So... it definitely wasn't a 6-day work week. It feels like it, but it wasn't. I need to remind myself of that. xDD
My in-laws are here 'till the 22nd, so if I don't reply for a while, it's because of the work-and-then-socializing juggle I've got going on.
So what in the hell is going on with the FB leak? Someone's actually jerky enough to do that to you?
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-15-2015, 02:05 AM
Haha, oh man, well at least you got some breaks! Hooray for that?
Oh jesus. I don't even know. I mean basically he's telling me that people are telling him that I told them stuff or that I showed them our conversations. So now I don't know if he's just guessing because he knows that I'm open and I tell people things or if he has some of passwords somehow if he's been stalking me or if someone actually told him something. But I'm paranoid as hell now.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-16-2015, 12:31 PM
Did you change your passwords, and have you scanned for any keyloggers?
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-16-2015, 03:37 PM
He hasn't had any access to my computer, though he does send links from time to time. Nothing that needs to be downloaded though. I have a decent antivirus and malware program, but if you have a suggestion for some other program, let me know! It's possible that he's bluffing to get me to confess to some perceived wrong. I've seen him do that to Sheri, though.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-16-2015, 11:59 PM
He could just be bluffing, but I would honestly change passwords everywhere just in case.
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-17-2015, 03:10 PM
I really hate this.
I really hope that after this summer he'll have moved on to someone else.
How are you doing?
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-22-2015, 07:51 PM
I'm going bonkers, but I'm alive. My in-laws left this morning, and I think we can get back to a routine again. x_x It's been an interesting week!
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-22-2015, 08:26 PM
I never do well when my routine is out of sorts.
Has it been good interesting or bad interesting? Or both?
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-22-2015, 10:31 PM
Cole and I wanted to help our friends out for expecting the birth of their second child towards the end of July. His parents flew in for their yearly visit on the 12th, which already caused issues with my work schedule. My friend went into labor four weeks early. Thankfully it was right after I got home from work on Friday. And thankfully, her toddler was okay hanging with me. She frighteningly delivered in the car en route. Total labor and birth, less than two hours. ~_~; He's healthy, but holy shit. I've been trying to cook and do food prep to help out. It's been nuts.
I'm behind on paperwork, and I've just shut down. I know I have a huge pile of shit to get done tonight, and I'm just sitting here doing nothing.
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-22-2015, 10:40 PM
Holy crap that's a pile of insanity!
I would be sitting there in a daze not doing anything too! I wish I could help you out right around times like these.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-22-2015, 11:18 PM
It's always something, I swear. :s
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steelmagghia
Not ready for school to start!
☆☆
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06-22-2015, 11:26 PM
You definitely have a lot going on almost always. I do not envy you there.
At least I get a long break. I don't think I could do it otherwise.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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06-23-2015, 12:30 AM
I'm hoping once I get a feel for having my own space back I'll feel better. Right now I'm pretty miserable. Dx
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