i think that could make a person go off

Not gonna argue that, but he didn't have to tell me to fuck off, and he didn't have to say that I "talk to [him] about [my] problems too much" when I have gone out of my way to find resources for him for when he can't find someone to talk to (including me)

no, he was wrong.
not making excuses for him.
It may even be why he isn't seeing his daughter
but, that being said, that is a big red button being pushed

Oh, I agree. and I try to be there for him as much as I can be, but when he sends me a message and I'm half asleep, I don't consider myself "present" and therefor don't want to get into a conversation about serious things that might require a serious and sincere answer.

Also yes, it might be one of his issues. Again, I don't know him terribly well, usually we just complain about our days to each other, sometimes it gets serious talk going but I try my best to be reasonable. I met him shortly before he divorced and do not know his ex-wife at all. So I know I only have one side of the picture. And from what he's told me, I actually understand part of his wife's position on things, and have told him so (and that did not cause an issue either, so I was surprised when he flipped out on me).

divorce can be failure to some people
add not seeing his daughter
he wants to hurt someone
but I still think he was wrong.
I know I wish I could talk to my friend
I don't think I will ever get over it.
I was just so tired and I said ,
'we'll talk tomorrow'
*smacks head*

I'm sorry hummy :< <3
life can be rough (too rough) sometimes

yeah it really can.
I wish your friend understood
words hurt/actions hurt
ya know do unto others...

Originally Posted by monstahh`

i said i couldn't talk now and he immediately went on a short rant and then said "fuck you" a few times -shrugs-
maybe i shouldn't be trying to help this person tho if they're going to be abusive because I've been busy :/

I mean, it sucks but sometimes ya gotta just cut the cord and be done with people. It's how I am but I know that if you've pissed me off, you really did something wrong because I do tend to put up with a lot of BS.
Personally, I wouldn't respond until he says sorry. I get people flying off at others because they have pent up anger over something not remotely related but a good friend will eventually realize they were wrong and apologize.

I hope he does say he is sorry.

I don't think he will. Instead of saying sorry he just said he overreacted. :/ -shrugs-
I think he should apologize but I'm not going to drag it out of him. No point.

small progress at least

I do hope he has been going through some time of therapy if he can afford it. Anger management at this point in his life would help him better manage situations he can't control. Also if he is having outbursts like that to you and not acknowledging that it is unacceptable, that means you probably aren't the only one he has done that to and could make his situation worse...

Its whatever, our conversation on the matter (between me and him) is over, and if he tries asking for more help I'm likely to be kinda petty about it. I don't like being bullied like that because I'm taking care of myself. ._.;
Self-care is incredibly important and if he hasn't learned that yet, its not my problem. He didn't respect my boundaries and made it clear what he thinks of me.

That's a shame
I think it's important to take care of yourself.
And I would not begrudge somebody doing that for themselves

Ah, see I'm a forever helper. I always put myself before others (which I'll admit, has become a problem). It's just instinctive for me to do so. I always wonder if I should have taken the psychology route in college instead of business.

I'm a helper kind of person too and I always put the other person before myself and that doesn't work out for me either even when I try and do something really nice I'm talked about so I think it's just life these days to be honest

Sometimes it benefits me, sometimes it doesn't and sometimes it works against me. I've kind of just learned to deal with it as it comes. I wish I could just take a day and relax in complete isolation...

I feel you. I wish my good intentions weren't mistaken. Just breathe Just Breathe.

I used to be a chronic over-helper, but I've learned in the last few years, aside from talking to me occasionally or the occasional ride somewhere (with me paying gas) most people aren't interested in helping me when I need it regardless of how much I've done for them. So many people have left me "holding the bag" or put out because of them putting their needs/wants first, and I just decided at a certain point, I needed to do that too.
So for my own sanity and safety, I've had to put myself first. Be my own advocate, learn to say 'no', etc.

That all said, I wanted to go to school for psychology when I was in college but I didn't graduate.
If I were to go back, I might still go for psychology, but, I'm open to other ideas now too. I'm thinking maybe psychology/art/art therapy. I'd actually LIKE to be a social worker, but they don't get paid enough and spend sooo much time in and out of their work doing...more work. >_>; As someone with some disability, that job sounds like it would drain me within a few years.
But if I was a therapist, I'd like to think I'd be a good one, and could therefor made da big money from that. therapists get paid pretty decently in my experience, that said, you'd have to pay off school too with those wages...
Not sure if even going to college right now is worth it. Kinda waiting to see if they make it free for everyone.

I'm glad that you learned what's good for you though. Sometimes, especially with my family, I feel pretty on the appreciate it. Yet I'm the first one called to ask to do anything. Some of my cousins don't even take care of their own mother. And she's my godmother and it's not even like that I feel responsible or obligated just I love her. I guess I don't get how people think sometimes. I I am like my nonno I think I do for others like I would like them to do for me and I don't ask that they do anything for me in return.

I mean, I don't do it expecting help, but its very frustrating when you give a lot of yourself and get taken advantage of.

One of my friends offered to pay me $20 a DVD of some obscure japanese anime I have, which is well below their value, and when he showed up with the money...he was only offering me "$20 for all of them"
and when I showed him the message saying "$20 each DVD" and me saying that was underpriced, considering they were the original japanese editions in good condition, he AGREED, and then said he knew I needed the money, which wasn't wrong, but, he was then pissed at me for him driving 40 minutes to my place, even though he is the one who said "each." And he was all, "yeah i guess i did say that but...who else is gonna want them??" ME? I wasn't even going to sell them til he asked. :/

*sighs*
its just annoying when you're nice to someone and they try to take advantage
thats not the only time he did it, either. He asked me for a ton of computer help over the years always saying he was gonna pay me, and then never did. Or when he did, he gave me like 1/2 (or less!) of the money we agreed on. He never had a reason except, "oh i don't have the money on me, I'll bring it next time" and after a while i was like no. you pay me all the money you owe me before I help you again.
and he's stopped messaging me since.

I get that

Originally Posted by ghostPastry

omg Inzane, was that a BNL quote?? :D

Wow...I didn't intentionally desert this thread...I been feeling a little more out of sorts than usual for the past few days.

But...yes, I was quoting the BNL..kinda. It was intentional.

So sorry you're feeling out of sorts

Originally Posted by hummy

So sorry you're feeling out of sorts

Me, too!