This story has been brewing in my mind for a while, and I thought I'd try to get some feedback on it. I'll be posting more sections as I get them written. 
Please let me know what you think!
"The planet of Daj is widely agreed to be the most beautiful world in the Fourth Ring Coalition," asserted the tour guide as she glided to a halt in the center of the viewing dome. The motley assortment of aliens in her wake spread across the rest of the dome, drinking in the magnificent vista of pristine jungle that sprawled in all directions on the other side of the thick thermoplastic. Chirps, coos, and fragrances of delight filled the dome as the tourists experienced the sights, sounds, and scents of The Jungle.
It truly deserved the capital letters as well as the awe of the tourists, because there wasn't another like it in the known galaxy. Leaves covered every possible variation of green and beyond, some shading to yellow or blue or red. Supporting the leaves were trunks of slender silver or sturdy bronze, with crimson lianas coiled around them. Colorful avians danced through the air and sang entrancingly or sipped nectar from blossoms with intoxicating scents. The scene was breathtaking, and the strangers were quickly hypnotized by the gentle movement of leaves in the wind, or the songs of the flyers, or scents of the flowers, depending on the individual's preferred sense for examining the world around them.
After a few moments, the tour guide gestured to the guard standing by the exit to the outside world. The guard gave an ironic salute and pressed a button that darkened the clear curve of the dome and turned on air filters and white noise generators. The guide exchanged a moment of amusement with the guard until the tourists started looking around themselves in bemusement, then her expression turned benign and she picked up the thread of her speech. "Not only is Daj considered the most beautiful world, it is also one of the most deadly that can actually support life. Even natives to the world can sometimes be drawn in by the hypnotic effects of some of the local wildlife. That is one of the reasons the Army provides us with guards like Lieutenant Kurani here for every exit that leads to the Jungle."
"Surely it can't be that dangerous," objected a rotund Eleeali. "After all, your people evolved here."
"With respect, gentlebeing..." Kurani spoke before the guide could respond. "Every member of the Daj'iin Army must survive three months of training in The Jungle in order to be promoted above private. One in ten die during training. Seldom is there a body left to return to base with. The Jungle is beautiful, but it is not kind." He touched the panel by the door again and the dome cleared, revealing that the delicate crimson lianas had grown razor-tipped thorns that dripped venom while writhing across the plastic, obviously trying to reach the soft-skinned morsels within.
The Eleeali fell over backwards and rolled over several times before managing to right itself. It scurried comically into the passageway back toward the city, followed by the other tourists. The guide eyed Kurani in mild exasperation before dissolving into a fog and hurrying off to overtake her charges. He waited until the entire group was out of sight before allowing a smug expression to cross his face. Tour guard assignments were torture, but volunteering for them was a good way to get noticed for promotions, and rumor was that the next round of promotions would be for Kurani's dream assignment-- an off-planet scouting mission.
