((Again a very old one, but it still amuses me so here it is...))

Turk’s Night Out

[pic]

By Sirius Dogstar

“So there I was,� Reno said with a flourish of the glass he held, “Surrounded by like FIVE hundred (HIC) guys!� Rude rolled his eyes behind his shades.

“Aww, yer DRUNK!� he replied.

“Nah man�, Reno said, bursting with pride. “Anyways there I was and…�

“Oh not THAT story again�, said a familiar voice, lined with exasperation. Reno looked up to find Tseng, looking down at him with a stern glare. “What is he up to now Rude… three hundred?�

“It was (HIC!) SIX hundred,� Reno said.

“Actually he told me five but who’s counting… I don’t think either of us can count at the moment…�

“Is this what the Turks are coming too?� Tseng asked them. “Time was when Vincent was with us that we were the most feared group… now we are in some lowlife bar…�

“Why not (HIC!) join us Tseng?� Reno asked. “Kill some time…�

“Brain cells too,� Tseng added shaking his head. “But I guess it won’t hurt just to sit down with you guys for awhile…�

Minutes later a young blonde walked up to their table, a frown on her face. “I cannot believe that you two dragged Tseng down with you,� she said shaking her head.

“Room for one more!� Tseng said with a laugh, as he clinked glasses with Reno.

“He’s a lot more fun when he’s (HIC!) drunk!� Reno explained. “Before he was so stiff and…�

“Boring,� Rude finished.

“Yeah you’re one to be talking about boring mister ‘Silence is a virtue,’� Elena said crossing her arms.

“Aw come on babe!� Reno said, about to tip over in his chair when Elena caught it. “Lighten up a bit!�

“Yes we are celebrating a victory tonight!� Rude exclaimed.

“Over what may I ask?� Elena asked.

“Everything!� Reno said.

“Want to (HIC!) join us?� Tseng asked. Elena looked over the seats, and saw that the only free one was beside Tseng. Smiling at the opportunity to be beside her secret beloved she said,

“Well if you can’t beat them join them.�

A little while later Rufus himself came into the bar. He could not help however to overhear a very loud group… and to his horror he discovered it to be his own supposedly elite. “Just what do you think that you are doing?� he demanded from them.

“What does it look like?� Elena asked as she hung onto Tseng for support just to be upright. “Drinking!�

“Are you talking back to me?� he demanded.

“Yes sir!� she said falling over.

“Just how many has she had?� Rufus asked Rude, who seemed to be the most aware.

“One,� Rude said holding up a certain middle finger. “This is one right?�

“How rude!� Rufus said.

“That’s my name, don’t (HIC!) wear it out!� Rude said.

“I am not believing this!� Rufus said. “Here you are supposed to be the best of the best and…�

“HIC!� Reno interrupted. “Man you are a (HIC!) drag! Just chill…�

“You are all drunk and I am supposed to just CHILL!� Rufus screamed. “This cannot be happening to me…� Exasperated, he sat down beside Elena. “I need something hard…�

“Try this,� Tseng offered, holding a glass.

“Well a sip couldn’t hurt…� Rufus said to himself.

Minutes later, every last one of them was rip roaring drunk and very loud. When Cid came in for a drink he saw Rude sitting upright still drinking. Reno was laughing his brains out over nothing, Tseng was face first in a pool of beer, Elena was on the floor, and Rufus was seeing just how high he could fly. “Well ain’t this a picture,� Cid said as he took a gulp from his glass.

“Hey Birdbrain!� he shouted to Rufus. “How many fingers am I holding up?�

“Um… why should I care man? I am doing the birdie!�

‘And so am I…’ Cid thought with a grin. He had always wanted to do that! “Can I have your airship Rufus?� he asked. “I mean you will need a designated driver and all…�

“Sure man… whatever…� Rufus said. Cid grabbed the keys from Rufus, a wide grin on his face. “Oh and one last thing guys,� Cid said pulling a camera from his pocket. “Smile!�



“Oh man I feel like s**t…� Rufus muttered. “Just what did I do last night?� He picked up his morning paper… only to find a huge picture of the night before and the headline, SHINRA GIVES AIRSHIP FOR FREE AFTER DRINKING BINGE!

“NOOOOOO!� he shouted. And somewhere not so far away was a very happy Cid Highwind breaking in his new ship.