Maybe LA is far enough that neither of them will see each other quite that often? I think the last update I ready from Tim was about him moving there and being closer to work. I remember Tim was not your biggest fan ever so I'm not surprised with the arguments being about him. That and Tim seems nice, but also strikes me as an overly immature type dude. I don't know him, so I don't know if that's a fair judgement. It;s just on facebook all I really see from him are nightlife type pictures involving alcohol. I've always taken Scott as a laid back yet serious guy so I'm betting those two personalities don't always mix well. For Shaun and I, it's not like always fight. Fights with him are rare but they have been about my mom. I know my mom means well and she says she wants the best for "me AND shaun." But she's consistently been that point of contention with us.

I'm sure it will all work out fine with the living arrangements. It might be tough at first because that's how it is with roomies. But, it'll work out. It's definitely a good thing that everyone gets along well already. Just enjoy the excitement!

He got a warning the day before. But it was more like a trick warning in a way I guess? He was just private messaged saying "hey, your numbers are down, what's up." So Shaun pushed it harder and made the right numbers after that for the rest of the day. I think that was interpreted as him being a slacker until poked. But really it was more him feeling stressed and under the gun and I'm sure his quality went down due to rushing. It was always tough to balance quality and speed for him. A while ago he received not the greatest quality assurance scores. I think it was a 3.5 out of 4.0. Which isn't bad, but the way the company works is, anything less than a 3.8 is bad. So they told him to pull it up. So he started being extra careful and therefore slower and his latest scores have been 3.8 and above. Even a few 4.0s. Point being, they gave him warning and after the warning he fixed it. He was doing great quality just not the right speed. And they didn't really give him a chance to balance out from there. But he's had other problems too. In the past he completely broke one policy and it could have been an auto fire. But they kept him, so I think this was like a 3rd strike in a way. So it's not a shock in that it wasn't uncalled for. Just more out of nowhere. I didn't think it'd be a fire and he didn't either. Honestly, they gave me employee of the month and I wasn't making those numbers. Not at all. I just had very high QA and he had that too. So it feels like a big "eff you" in a way to him because he knows that.

That company really is a terrible company. I feel like it exists for the other terrible companies that don't want the black mark of outsourcing. At least this year we can file his taxes as a tip and force them to pay half his employment tax. I have no issues doing that now. I almost wanted to do that this year but he still worked there so, best not make them angry. It's weird. It's like I'm mad at Shaun but then I'm really not. We'll be fine and probably better in the long run this way. I don't have to worry about being reemed during taxes and he can start working towards something that gives him more and better opportunities in the future.

Who knows. I won't say I'm not terrified. One wrong move now and we're done. People can go ahead and take our adult card. But, then again, these past few years, everything has just kind of worked out. I have a strange feeling this will too. Still scared, but, not much can be done now but moving on. I so wanted to tell my mom. We work for the same company so we're in a vanpool together. Then she drops me off at home. So it's been a month of silent car rides. I would have told her that day because I had struggled with it all day at work. But she just blasted the country music which means nope, not today. Before she drops me off she also stops by the house and there was her mother's day card. It was turned face up this time, but still sealed and on the same table in the same spot where she was sitting when I gave it to her. Seeing that was probably the hardest moment of the day. I think I'd rather not see her at all at this point. I think it would be easier on me as a whole. I could use easier. There's going to be plenty of stress with me taking on 100% of the financial stuffs.

Adult cards are over rated anyway. I'm sooo done with mine! I don't want to deal with it anymore. Too much responsibility and I'm feeling over it. All this cooking and cleaning and working and more cleaning and mailing stuff and packing and organizing... yeah. done!!

I feel the same about Tim. It's all boozey and childish to me. I just can't handle that lifestyle. For their birthdays last year Scott flew down and they went to a TOOL concert and Scott stayed for a week. They had a good time for the most part, but most evenings after Scott had one beer he was content... Tim kept pushing him to have a second and a third etc. It was ridiculous. We don't drink that much, we'll have like one beverage on nights that we feel like having a drink and generally not more than that. Tim started teasing him for not drinking more. He's almost 30... isn't it about time to start acting like it?? Whatevs. I'm hoping that it will be too far for him to come down too often. And that he doesn't expect Scott to make the trip all the time because I don't want to deal with that either.

It's just a bit ironic that we talked about Tim's night life and then Beerfest happens. LOL. Marrying a brother (sibling, you know) is hard sometimes. Even with Shaun and Kyle. Kyle is such a bad influence sometimes. Shaun gets into bad habits of generally goofing off because they did that all growing up and they actually have a pretty strong bond. But Kyle leads a very different existence than Shaun. Kyle is 29, never worked 1 day in his life, and has never gone to school. So it doesn't matter to Kyle if he stays up till 3am playing some odd video game, but it matters for Shaun. Even if he didn't have to take me to the carpool site, he'd always have earlier shifts at work. So it's tough. I want Shaun to still have the relationship and he does too, but he gets wrapped up in it a bit too much and I don't like being the one to keep pulling him down to reality.

We got him to apply for financial aid and we're waiting to see. The problem is my salary. It might be enough to knock out any assistance. My salary is just over double mim but also my benefits count as taxable income.. so I'm bringing in over 45k/year as far as uncle sam is concerned. Plus I'm social security exempt so that's not taken out of my salary at all. AND financial aid also bases on last year's income taxes... which is a time when he was working full time and worse, both os us were working as independent (me for half the year and hime for the whole year). So even though it was only slightly over min wage which is really not that high, it reads as so much more because not one penny is taken out for taxes before being handed to us. So it looks like we made out crazy with such a high gross income last year but we didn't. It was all sucked back into taxes. We'll see. At the very least I'm actually hoping he can qualify for a subsidized student loan. We can pay off everything that had a crazy interest rate and just deal with the one loan. I know they aren't meant for that, but I count survival expenses as also being student expenses. Sigh. You're so right. Adult cards are so overrated.

I soooo feel you on that reality thing! It's a constant issue when his brother is concerned. Luckily Scott has learned quite a bit of Tims tricks over the years and so it's not as much of an issue as it used to be... but that could just be because we've lived 3000+ miles away for the last 8 years. lol Anyway, no use speculating on it now, I'll just have to wait and see what the future holds!
and lol, beerfest. If only that was the only time he acted like this!!

Survival expenses are totally student expenses as well. If you aren't eating at home then you're not going to be spending loads of time studying and furthering your education either. Food and shelter are important. I dare say electricity and air conditioning/heating would also qualify in that... as well as most creature comforts because you're more likely to do well when you're comfortable!

Busy day already... work all night, and I booked the cats flight this morning. Now I'm heading out to pick up medical and dental records for me and the kids so that we have those while traveling. All of this while I'd rather be sleeping. Once again, adult card, you suck.

Yay! Booking flights time. Exciting!

We'll see about the school stuff. I'm hoping but then not at the same time. My little brother is doing middle college right now and he's told me classes are so impacted that it might take Shaun 4 years to finish. I'm not so sure I can handle it for four years...

Then we also went to hang out with Erica and Kevin today. They had mentioned jobs we hadn't even considered. Everything we were thinking he could apply for is retail, but there are a lot of good jobs out there and he could make any of them into a for life thing. But, on the drive home the discussion about being proud of what you do came up. And he mentioned maybe going to police academy. I don't know. we're really going to weigh the options before something like that. I think Kevin makes it seem easy and even fun, still scary, but Kevin's stories made it feel much more doable to him, but I don't know.. I don't want him doing it. I won't stop him if that's what he wants, but it has to be something he wants 100% because if not, and he does it, and he becomes a police officer and isn't 100% committed and passionate about what he does, that's when mistakes can be made and I could lose him. That thought terrifies me. I think my heart would physically break and I would die if he died too. SOOOOO I told him to think about it and he's considering the other options as well as that one.

Who knows. I most certainly don't. For now my focus is on making the numbers work and also passing probation myself. I have 4 months left.

Anywho, I hope the busy day went well. I also hope you get some rest! I've found the owning of an adult card seems much easier to handle with rest. If only I could take my own advice and sleep... I have to be up at 5 and it will at least be 1 before I sleep.

I did get some rest. Having Scott around helped with that a lot. He got home and I went to bed and didn't wake up until the kids came in to kiss me good night. So I sucked as a mom, but I got a lot accomplished that needed to be done and wouldn't have gotten done if I hadn't done it... so I'll take the momentary mom fail and revel in my adult accomplishment!

More adulting today. I swear moving is all about being an adult.

Scotts mom worked as a 911 call center person before deciding to join the sheriffs office. She said she loved the job... but hated being unable to do anything to help people other than let them know help was on the way. But if he wants to get an idea of the cases he could be called out on, that would be one way to go about doing it.

I need to find some career like career. I'm almost 30. it really feels that working in hospitality and retail should be behind me at this point. I just don't know what I want to do anymore. :/ It all feels so... unattainable.

Shaun's given it a lot of thought and decided no. But he doesn't necessarily want the other ideas Erica and Kevin had given him either. He says he wants to be proud of what he does for once. He just doesn't know what that means for him yet. He starts school in august. He has so much general ed he'll have to do, that I'm hoping he'll stumble onto the path that makes him happy. It takes a lot to find that.

I have a career like career, but I'm not happy. I miss design terribly. I know I need to go back to it, but the thing is, for me it's all about lesser evils. With Shaun working the types of jobs he does, I feel like I have no choice but to stay somewhere where it's stable and some social worker won't judge us extra negatively for being unstable. It's like.. I love design so much and I hate being a paper pusher, but I love the idea of someday having a family, that this is something I have to stick with. :( The only plus side is that I do love the company and our mission. And the slightly activist side of me also loves that we make work just a little bit more difficult for big business. >.> I'm just mean that way I suppose.

I think you'll find what you love. Maybe it's opening up a fll on bakery or something. You seem to love those things. OR you could start your own non profit organization. I've dreamed of doing that myself.. like a nonprofit that brings art to school systems that have lost their arts programs.. but in a way that combines it with science. Maybe someday...

A non profit does sound awesome. As does a bakery. I'd want more training before doing the bakery thing though. I've been considering going to a cullinary school when I get to SD as I'll finally have that as an option. Probably take a couple of Micheals cake decorating classes too when those pop up.

It takes a lot of trial and error for some of us to find our career dream job. I hope Shawn is able to stumble upon his with the general education broadness and make it so you don't have to stay as a paper pusher for too much longer. <3 The stability is important, but so is having a job that makes your heart sing. Are you still doing free lance design on the side?

Grar! I worked today for an event. Of course, people gossip. So I found out they're trying to fire my vanpooler and a qualified designer. I mean they meant it in a nice way, like, "oh, maybe you'll get your chance." But I'm seriously angry. That guy does good work! He worked more than the person they passed me up for. The person they hired instead of me is the one who sent out an advisor with the word Environmental LARGE on the cover and misspelled. They also have another designer who is basically a drunk old man. He went to a design event on company funds and drank alcohol for dinner and then drove a company car home. They can't prove HE drank the alcohol, so he stays. But you know he did.. and driving while intoxicated is so a pet peeve of mine. Especially when you're doing that shit for a company I've idolized my entire life. I HATE people that drink and drive and I know that he did so I hate that guy... He also has been working there so long that he is never there and hardly ever works. So, that guy stays, guy that was just hired stays, but my vanpooler, that I know does his best and actually tries, is getting hell. It's not even like they can really fire him. It's near impossible to fire someone once they've passed probation. So all they're doing is being shady and giving a good guy hell. BLARGH!

I know I love design, but I don't feel like I love it enough to ever want to work for such horrible people... I can't imagine what alex (the vanpooler) is going through. That's just so much stress. Maybe I'm taking it a bit personally because him and I are so alike. We both love design, we're both nerds over similar things (although he is much more a geek than I am) and right now we're both the sole support for our respective families. I think I've always kind of hated this bad things happening to good people/bullying sort of deal. This is bullying, and it really sickens me.

Sigh. I need to go back to school and get my MFA. Then, when the boss guy leaves, I'll swoop in and steal his spot and change how that department works. No more bullying. That's not how design works. That's not how life should work.

I'm too idealistic for this world, I think. I think I feel it more right now because it's grad season. I keep seeing videos of speeches done by stupid celebrities. I feel like posting, "Newsflash: WE KNOW THINGS SUCK! Quit bringing us down on a day that we should be proud of our accomplishments and give us advice." Like Matthew whatever his name is, Lincoln car driver, said life's not fair, and it never will be and blah blah blah. Great... But why not tell people, life's not fair, it may never be, but YOU can help change that, by being kind, treating others fairly, and just being a decent human being from here on out?

Maybe this is the slow death of idealistic cassie :( Or maybe it's just been too long of a week and too much time in the sun while around too many gossipy people that reminded me of High School and a time I hated in my life.


Anywho, yes, I still do freelance but really mostly for friends because I just don't have as much time as I'd like. I have the weekends and Monday to work on design work. Only friends seem accommodating of that time frame. I don't do shitty design. So I follow this structure:



And friends are the only people that are accepting of the long timelines.

Tim showed me that before! I love it! You get what you pay for. (:

I feel you on the bullying stuff. It's horrid I feel bad for Alex too. No one deserves to be treated that way...especially when they are working and doing their best. The non worker and the drink should be taken off payroll though. :/ no one should want people like that making their company look bad! Is there a human resources department you can put an anonymous tip into about their lack of time spent working etc? The exchange had a phone number we could call about any sort of suspected abuse of the system and of bullying. We had a zero tolerance policy. A distract manager was heard talking down to a manager in front of customers and someone called... the next time that district manager was there he was there with a guy from hr shadowing him...and then started two days after the dm left to talk with employees alone. It was pretty awesome.

I wish our company had something like that, but here is like any other place. In general, saying anything puts yourself in jeopardy more so than the person committing the offense. I'm on probation so I am not in a position to rock the boat without possibly being let go. Anywho, when they attended the design event, they turned in their receipts to get meals compensated for. So the old guy turned his in, but had scratched out the alcohol. Not enough to hide it but enough to indicate he was not charging the district for it. So basically, HR knows and from what Alex was saying they likely didn't do anything to him because they can't prove without a shadow of a doubt that he drank, or that he drank and then drove. He said the old guy could spin it and say he met someone at the conference and offered them a few drinks. OR he could even say he did drink but waited several hours before driving. It's all just sad. From what I hear from Alex it's only gotten worse for him. A few weeks back his wife was getting bags from the car and their 4 year old locked her out with the keys inside. So alex was going to go rescue her (and their unsupervised alone and scared little kid). When he told his super he was leaving for a family emergency, they tried telling him no and said he'd be fired if he left. Alex left anyway. They got angry and took it to HR to fire him, but HR gave them the slap on the wrist. So.. to save face they held a department meeting to discuss "an 'update' to company policy that allows workers to leave any time for emergencies." Horrible human beings they are.

Anyway.. updates.. we have a pet tortoise now. Shaun also has 2 jobs and we're not sure how to go about handling that. At least we know one will pan out so that's a relief. It means adoption plans can proceed, but with delays. Shaun working a non-telecommute job means we will have to buy a second car. I'm not looking forward to that. I rather like not having a car payment or sky high insurance.

*Sweeps of the dust*

Hihi! It's been forever again! I know I keep saying it, but I always forget about Mene... plus I hardly ever get online anymore unless I'm on my phone.