My eyes cry tears
My wrists cry blood
You scarred my heart
You took my love

I tried to stop
I tried to quit
You're like a drug
I take a hit

Yes, this is a bit depressing. Sorry. :P

and a bit pathetic. Put it back in your journal where it belongs. It's the normal stupid teen angst i wanna die, my life sucks, wah, wah, wah cack and bull. It hurt my head to read.

Now... anyways. You need real poetics in here. Use metaphors, simlies, more advanced ways of writing and the dictionary or thesuarus won't bite when you flip through it. Try finding oh... a better way to say all that so it can actually be considered real poetry and not therapy. Yes, dear, there is a difference, and while I know you and about 3/4th's of the world's population doesn't realize that, I'm on a mission to make it apperent.

Freedom of expression is different in poetry. You actually have to use your brain and real thought to give these feelings more than just words or actions. You have to paint a picture. make it worthwhile. give it that BOOM OMG THIS IS FUCKIN AMAZING SHIT effect. Believe me, I know. Everyone starts out at this stage. It took me... let's see I've been writing 11 years, so... 8 years to actually get my stuff to the level I have it at. To perfect the way I write. It's hard, challenging, and someone's always going to tell you it sucks for one reason or another.

But this really does suck. Sorry. lol. Don't take offence to this; just trying to help and I'll be more than willing to work with you if you want. I'm way too nice sometimes and have a soft spot for people that want to write but just are not good yet.

Do keep writing though. It's the way you'll improve.

Wow.. thank you. That's what I need to hear, I'm sure. [[: I'd be honored if you would help me write some better things, or just to improve even the slightest.

It'll be my pleasure then. :)