This plague of crushing that I have;
keeps me from realizing that I can't
muster all my insecurities
and say fuck you to all my admiralities
I want you, but its not right,
I count on some light that won't shine to my desires
since you don't really care,
And I feel that I should share
and stop saying my I's,
and start saying you
for you are all that I care
since the day that I met you
and all the days that I see
are everlasting love
or is it really?
Since of all my admiralities,
I shouldn't uphold the ones for you.

Q.

Today I fucked up,
And I somewhat want to shut up,
And feel how meaningless
this whole situtation of lies
that I always deny, deny, deny!
In denial is what I am!
I feel betraying myself all over again!
These are lies to begin with!
Stop making me feel this!

ITS NOT RIGHT!!!!

It will never, ever be right.

Do you know why?

I'll tell you why, in my secrets to dispose,
It begins with a girl, completely insecure of herself,
Who found someone to love,
even in the midst of all the doves,
blaken'd and blue'd,
inside of you,
then one day out of curiousity,
she found the best thing that was even considered an impossibility!
Another girl of her peer,
who stands for peace and love,
happiness in what we could be.
Blonde and blue,
the first thing she saw,
then her voice cried out of the long hot fall day,
her heart triggered,
a chill in the spine,
... but in the end... I'm still in denial.

I can't have her... it's not right...

Stop confusing admiration
with love and lust!
Find the answers
Find it must!
For everything hangs in the balance
of you and I.

and still in denial
that I'm not bi.

You close your eyes,
not wondering why,
your skin chills,
you dont why

windows open
such a breeze
my heart pumps out
i cannot feed

earth shines like a water spouse
cannot linger through in or out
flying spaciously in mid-air
driving unconsciously in such an mouth
that cannot stop
oh please stop...stop

drinking creatively
getting high sensationally
thats all we do
thats all we do

wheres my life
where did it go
my heart lingers
no more.

theres more to it
than meets the eye
minds calculating
we cannot find

whats wrong with it?
how do you know?
how can we fit?
we still dont know

if only we do
then we'd be fine
for every shit
will be up high

but then again
once we do
whats the purpose
of living this life?

it will be all
an insignificant lie.

i dont know why,
i dont know why,
and all this i thought of,
when i was high.

The Day When My World Froze For 20 Minutes

Wake up, then sit up.
Blink twice then think,
It's the morning,
its a bliss.
Take a shower,
change your clothes,
take the bus,
no car home.
Go to school,
study hard,
For all we do,
is despise that fool.

It's a friday,
party hard,
drink a lot,
smoke some more,
laugh out loud,
think deep down,
cry a little,
then no more.

Drive home,
with awkward silence,
people crying,
deep down they're dying,
I'm sorry for,
the lost you had,
I cannot change,
its the past.

But I'm still here,
We're here for you,
We'll listen always
You know it's true,
Don't cry megan.
We love you too,
we love you too...

I dont want to be alone.

Red goblins biting my hand,
creeping in the shadows.
Lifting my wings to fly,
everythings's contagious.

Pink lovers blooming at hand,
life's too short for you,
Looking back at the years before,
There was no home.

Blue eyes breaking my bones,
It's delirious,
I look at this summer's fault,
Always alone...

I
want
to
stop
making
poems.


it reminds me of you.
get out of my head,
get ouf of my head.

I have a void without you.

but in the end, you'll never be with me.
all i can do is hope, but soon- it will kill me.

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

I'm already lost in this world, when will it end?

Just forget is all I do.
All these memories, will stop flowing through.

My soul will be lifted,
Away from these pain!
Get out of my head!
I am not gifted,
to make it rain...rain...rain.

The voices in my head,
I want it not to say,
What I already feel,
oh what a shame!

You have....issues.