84. Cold (Night Cont.)

Soda had just gotten off the phone with Delilah when his phone rang again. In the busy backstage of the club where he was just about to go on stage, where the crowd was cheering for the opening act as they played their last song, the only thing Soda heard was his phone ringing. The letters on the screen spelled out the one person he wanted to talk to "Putnar"

He snapped the phone open, "Hello." He said and listened.

"Soda," The voice cracked from the other line and Soda wanted to die right there as he heard the relief in the broken voice on the other line. But he didn't die, he sat down, perched on the edge of the chair as he waited for more, "I thought you weren't going to pick up,"

"I was just on the phone with Delilah, she's worried about you," Soda said, trying to remain calm, but that was so hard, "Where are you?"

There was a pause, and Putnar's deep breath crackled in from the other line, "I don't know,"

Soda covered his mouth to hide the fear that was in his very breath, "Can you see anything, anything at all? A road sign, a streetlamp, people?"

"It's dark," Putnar said slowly, "And cold. I just want to go to sleep, but I wanted to hear your voice... so I wouldn't be scared." His voice was fading out.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Soda snapped, it was getting hard for him to hold his composure. The sounds of the club were beginning to rise up around him. It was getting so hard to hear Putnar now. "You have to tell me where you are, so they can find you!"

"Somewhere... somewhere outside our house." Putnar chocked back a sob that crackled into the receiver, "I wish you were here with me. I wish you were home," he sobbed.

"I'll be there Putnar, I'm coming for you OK?"

"Alright."

"I have to hang up now so I can call Delilah and tell her where you are,"

"Ok. I love you Soda,"

"I love you too,"

The line went dead, and as much as Soda wanted to just sit there and cry, there were more important things for him to be doing. He called up Delilah immediately, and told her everything that he knew, "And I'll need a plane ticket to California, the earliest one I get on. Please."

"Of course," She answered back, and he could tell that she was glad he had asked.

As he hung up there was still one thing he had to take care of before he went anywhere.

68. Hero (Cold Cont.)

Soda had gotten the band together and told them all what was going on, "So, we're going to have to put off a couple shows until I get back,"

"Do what you have to do man," Ricky, the lead guitarist said as he gave Soda a comforting pound on the back, "You find him and make sure everything is OK before you show your face back here again."

"No need to rush back," Julia, the drummer said, giving him a gloved thumbs up, "We can take care of ourselves. We did before you showed up anyway." She feigned a punch square in his chest, "Go be a man and find your boy."

"Who wants to tell all the people out there?" Shinji, the keyboardist, asked with a weary look towards the door to the room where the opening act was playing an extra act until the band could figure something out.

"I'll tell them," Soda said, "I'm not gonna send a manager out there to talk to our fans.

"Fine," Shinji said with a smile, "And we're coming with you."

As the first act closed, the fans could only be surprised when the band they had been waiting for came out immediately and empty handed. The crowd was quiet except for a few murmurs of "What's going on?"

Soda stepped up to the mike, where he would have liked to belt his lungs out, but something had died in them and he felt as he could barely talk. Still, "You guys," he said, "Probably came here to night to listen to us perform. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've had an emergency back home in the states. My boyfriend, who I'm sure I've bored you all about at countless other shows has gone missing and they think some ass must have found him, done horrible things to him and ditched him somewhere. I need to be there to find him, or comfort him if they already have. Until then, the bands gonna lay low for a while.

"I'm sorry, you guys paid money to see us and now I have to take off. Maybe the guys can give a refund or me can reschedule or something. I've got some time before my plane takes off, so maybe me can play something if you want, though I'm sure I sound like shit right now," Soda said, laughing dryly.

"We don't want our money Soda!" a voice yelled from the crowd.

"Go find him Soda!" Said another.

"He needs you more than we do!"

"Get out of here,"

One by one lights went flickered to life in the crowd. Lighters and cellphones lit the faces of a thousand people he didn't even know except through music. "Thank you, everyone." Soda said, breathless by their act, "I promise when I come back, I'll give you the best show ever." With that he turned him back on that crowd, and walked off the stage. He wasn't Soda of Cry It Again right now, he was Soda, the man who was going to rescue Putnar from everything.

"Soda!," a tech back stage stopped him , "You got a phone call,"

"What was it?" Soda asked, he could hardly breath through the anticipation.

"They found him."

72. Mislead

Cato laid down the book she had been reading all morning. She hadn't though much of it when her brother had brought it to her. It was simple tome with a soft leather cover, stained brown. The pages were of thin crinkling wrinkled pages that crinkled when she turned them. Even the writing had an air of normalcy. Think inked letters, neat and clean, and of new skilled penmanship told the story. But the story it told! That was what had captured her fascination, and had trapped her in her bedroom for the morning, and into the late afternoon.

She knew now why her brother had brought it to her in great secrecy. He had brought it as a gift from his wide traveling across the stretches of his kingdom. But this book was dangerous. If her father ever found it , why, the treason he could accuse her of! For this book told the story of the land beyond the sea. Across the sea in the nation of their enemy. But these memoirs told not of the evils of that land, that she had been brought up to hate. No, instead they told of the journey of a solitary man, and his journey from the work of servanthood, to a friend of kings and a worker for the overthrowing of the most powerful man in the country. How her heart cried out to him, who had done so much, and suffered such betrayal and heartache to acquire next to nothing.

She rose from her seat by the window , tome in hand, and crossed to the bookcase, bulging with the many things that she had read. She pushed aside some slanting novels and placed the book back behind them, where no one was sure to look.

If the story was true, if what was written there was real and true, it meant a great danger was sure to find them in their time of peace. If it was true, it meant that they also had a great ally among them.

14. Smile
Putnar had finished showing Anthony around the downstairs of the house and they were now standing awkwardly in the kitchen.

"So," Anthony said with a slim smile crossing his face, "Are you going to show me your room?"

"You don't want to see it," Putnar said with a small shrug. He dug his toe into the floor nervously.

"Aw, come on," Anthony said, giving Putnar a light punch on the shoulder, "I want to see your room."

Putnar finally gave up and led Anthony up the short flight of stairs to the upper floor. He hesitated a moment, with a glance at Anthony before he opened the door. He stood against the door frame and gestured for Anthony to step inside. The other young man gave a brief smile before taking a few shallow steps into the room. He walked along slowly, taking in the small room as if there was much more than there really was. He hovered over the the little desk and the few posters that were scattered on the walls.

Putnar snuck past Anthony and sat down on the bad shoved into the corner.

"I like it," Anthony said suddenly as he came and plopped down next to Putnar.

Putnar stood up at once, and crossed to the desk where he sat down, avoiding Anthony's eye, "No you don't. There's nothing to like."

Anthony shook his head, chuckling to himself, "Actually I do. It's cute, like you."

48. Young
Putnar was standing at the kitchen counter as he had done for the past months that he had spent cooking dinner for himself and his brother. He stood chopping vegetables, slow and deliberate as his mind coiled around the disastrous events that had occurred that day.

Where had everything gone wrong?

The knife on the cutting board beat a peculiar rhythm that echoed in his mind and drove his mind on, and on until...

Putnar looked down at his finger. It stung fiercely as a bead of blood rose up on his fingertip and then ran down his hand. Just like that, all of the pain in his heart seemed to fizzle out of him as the pain in the little cut settled on him.

***

"Putnar," Alec called out as he came in the front door. He dropped the keys on the side table and walked down the hallway into the kitchen. "My god, Putnar what happened?"

Putnar flinched back a dropped the red-rimmed knife to clatter on the floor. He had lost count of the numerous cuts on his fingers and palms that stung as he clenched them, slick with blood. " I... I don't..." Putnar stammered.

He continued to stammer guiltily as Alec shoved his hands under the faucet and washed the multiple cuts, "Putnar... did you do this?"

"I didn't, I mean, I just," He struggled for words that could never explain what had been going through his mind.

4. Dark

Alice could hear her parents setting the table for dinner when she got the phone call. She glanced at the name on the phone before flipping it open and saying with a bemused smile on her face "Alec, you know I can't take long phone calls around six."

"I know Alice, I know. This is an emergency. Do you have a first aid kit?" There was a small clatter on the other end and she heard his voice far away, "No. Putnar, stay right where you are." Then he was close again, "Alice?"

The uneasiness in his voice, coupled with the request washed away her amusement immediately, "Yea. Is everything ok?"

"Yes, er, no. Can you bring it over here. As fast as you can." He fumbled over his words, breath coming in hard into the receiver.

"Yea, of course. I'll be right over." Her heart pounded in her chest as she wondered what must have happened for this.

"Thanks" He hung up immediately, not even wasting time for a good bye.

She put her phone away, grabbed a sweatshirt before running down the stairs. Her mother looked up with concern as she rushed past her to the bathroom for the first aid kit. "What's going on Alice?" Her mother asked, her voice droning with impatience.

"Alec had an accident at his house. I'm just going to run this over real quick and I'll be right back." She was saying as she passed her mother and her mother's agitated look. "It's an emergency mom."

Her mother sighed, "Better have that boy walk you back here if he can, it's getting dark outside."

46. Drop

Alec had called his girlfriend to come to the rescue, or that's what Putnar was thinking to himself as he sat in the bathroom, his fingers dripped blood into the sink as he sat and waited.

He wished there was a way for him to explain himself to Alec, but he had answered all of his brother's questions, and seen the shock rise up in his face, and the anger in his clenched fists. It was assured that Alec was going to do something reckless tonight, maybe not something like cute his palms to pieces like Putnar had, but he was going to do something. It was written all over him, the way he was pacing the house, constantly walking past the bathroom, and in the strained voice he had used on Alice on the phone. Putnar put his head down on the countertop. The cool porcelain melted away the scrambled thoughts.

He could rest here.

For a second.

Or forever.

"Putnar?" Alec shook his shoulder just a bit hastily.

His body felt heavy as he sat up again. He had to force his eyes open. Had he dozed off? He wiped an I drowsily, and, forgetting the condition of his hands, smeared blood across his eye.

His brother sighed, and wiped his face with a damp towel before attending his hands. "I'm so tired." Putnar whined without really meaning to.

"Alice is here." Alec said patiently," She's going to help me patch you up."

He opened his eyes. Even through the blur of his half-lidded eyes, he could see the expression on her face. What was that? Pity?

"I just want to sleep forever."

42. Still

"Putnar get up," Alec's voice said. Putnar could feel his brother's hands on his shoulder shaking him, trying to get him up.

"I just want to sleep." He said slowly, not even opening his eyes to the darkness that he knew was his room. Cold, bleak, darkness. "I want to sleep forever." he said in what was barely a whisper.

"You have to get up, child services are coming today. If they see you like this they'll take you away," His voice sounded so desperate, but Putnar couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't care about anything. "Don't you understand what I'm saying?"

"Can't you just let me sleep?"

***

Alec was sitting at the kitchen table when the quick the child services officer arrived with a quick precise rap at the door. It could have nails on a chalkboard the way it sent chills up his spine. He swallowed hard in his chest and raked a hand through his unkempt black hair before slowly going to the door and letting the woman inside.

The house was spotless, but it felt so fake to Alec as he showed the woman around the house. It was like a lie compared to the condition of his younger brother upstairs.

She cast a look around, as if looking for a toddler to come out from hiding, "And where is Putnar?" she asked, the question he had been dreading.

"He's not feeling well. He's caught a cold so he's resting in his room," Another lie, if only Putnar had something as simple as a cold, if only he had something that could actually be cured.

"Would it be alright if we checked on him?" She said over her clipboard.

"Sure," Alec said, lying again.

***

She opened the door and stood for a moment staring into what could have been a black void. Putnar had thrown blankets over the windows, barely a glimpse of light could get in, not that it would ever want. He was laying with his back to them, another blanket heaped over him as if to swallow him whole.

"Have you had a doctor see him?" She asked, surprising Alec.

"Well, no. I haven't yet."

"I'd like a doctor to see him" she said, and closed the door.

19. Gray

He hadn't been able to see more than a foot in front of him for the last three days. Snow was falling down from the swollen clouds in endless flurries. The thick flakes clung to everything their icy branches could get a grip on and they piled up in drifts that made the landscape almost impossible to cross.

Shonasha had settled himself him at the base of a huge tree in some animals long abandoned den. It was deep enough to keep his body out of the cold. He had built up a bank of snow around him to keep the wind out, but he had to keep it open for fear of being buried by the never ending flakes. For three days he had waited, restless and stiff with the cold, and still the storm had not let up.

By the evening of that third day he was quite hungry. His rations had run low and there was nothing to be found, nothing that could be found without digging down through feet of snow. At least with that night came a stroke of luck.

The storm finally let up and the clouds parted leaving a full moon to smile smugly down at him. At least, he thought to himself as he dug his way slowly through the heavy piles, she's bright enough to light my way.

Still, just walking was difficult work. Had he been able to eat properly during that time, he might have made it farther, but his legs quickly cramped under the cold, tiring effort. He collapsed in the dark night. The surface of the snow shown like silver around him.

87. Hunger

The room he awoke in was bright. Light was shining in from a few windows to his left. Morning light was pouring in from the drawn curtains. Shonasha blinked slowly, trying to remember where he was.

Movement to his right caught his attention. A figure dressed in a long gown of heavy skirts was collecting some empty tea cups that were sitting on the dresser. Seeing the woman reminded him of how hungry he was. Three days without eating, maybe even longer, accounting for how long he had been asleep.

Quiet as a wildcat, he rose from the bed and in a quick, deft movement, he sprung upon the girl.

What happened after that was difficult to comprehend. The door to the room burst open and a youth about his own age came into the room, even before the woman had time to scream. If he hadn't been so controlled by hunger, the other man might have caught him off guard. But running on survival instincts, Shonasha leapt out of the way, dragging the woman with an arm wrapped about her thin neck.

"Relax now, we're not here to harm you. If we wanted to after all, why would have bothered rescuing you from that snowstorm?" An older man asked as he casually stepped into the room.

"Master." The youth was growling, obviously on edge.

"Relax. Everything is under control." He inclined his head and gave Shonasha a fascinated look, "Heso was quite right in his prediction. Here you are acting just as he said." A hand fingered his chin thoughtfully.

"Heso," Shonasha gasped, his grip ultimately loosing from the woman who had taken to becoming increasingly more limp.

"Yes, Heso. You know of who I speak. He is on his way at this moment. If you would like to see him I would suggest that you drop our maid, she still has work that needs to be done."

"I'm hungry." Shonasha said, a demand more than simply a word.

"Well, if you decide to behave then maybe I will have someone put you together something to eat. Hm?" The man said cleverly.

Shonasha dropped the maid to the floor with a thump. He was half-starved and he wanted more than anything to see Heso. It had been a long time.

44. Two Roads

Heso didn't understand it.

Every Wednesday Shonasha walked down to the local bakery and spent the day sipping tea and sampling the menu until the sun began it's dip below the horizon, painting the street outside in orange and red.

Heso didn't understand it, but Shonasha didn't understand either. He didn't understand why every week he felt the need to walk over there and waste the day away.

Neither of them understood it, so Heso let him go and didn't ask questions.

The years had changed them, had changed them a lot. His appearance was much the same. Effeminate, slender. Long white hair framed his face, and fell about his shoulders. Pointed ears, thin jaw and chin, violet eyes. How much like his mother he was, long left behind. How little like his father, except for that wretched curse, the hunger for flesh. But that had changed too, that curse was long gone.

The people, and the places too, had changed. Long ago, all the meeting places had been in old bars and half empty inns, a big change from the quaint little bakery he visited now. It brought back memories of the people he had known then, people that had long since gone their separate ways and moved on down their own roads.

It made his heart hurt, remembering those people, and one in particular. A tall man with black hair and eyes the color of emeralds. A man that was kind and gentle, but ferocious when he needed to be. A strong and noble person with a harsh and broken past that had made him what he was.

A single tear slid down his face and dropped into the empty tea cup on his table.

He didn't understand it. Why he came to this place and thought, hoped that that man would come strolling through that door, and pick up their lives right where they had left off.

98. Puzzle

"You're... one of them?" I asked. The cup was hot in my hand, burning my cold fingers. The steam rose thick in my throat.

"I am." He said slowly. His voice was contemplative, and his eyes were dark under the damp dresses of his red hair. "Would you belief me," a smile broke across his face, a smile full of hurt, "That I was there when you were born. I spoke your name, and bound the strings of your soul together. Even now I look at you," he voice cracked, and he cleared his throat," I look at you and know what you will become. I know who you will be, the things that will bring you happiness, and the hardships you will face. And..." He shook his head.

I stood to my feet, placing the cup on a crowded table, "And?" I asked.

His voice came loud, like the words were tearing themselves from his throat," I can't even tell you a word, give you a warning about the things that may be, and the things that will surely be. I can offer you no solace and I can ease none of the fear in myself." His voice softened as tears rose in his eyes, mixing with the raindrops that were already present in his hair. "It's an unexplainable pain, knowing that the person you love will face untold hardships, and knowing to that there is nothing you can do to help them."

My blood ran like ice in my veins as his green eyes gazed sadly, so sadly. Heso was more of a puzzle than I ever could have guessed.

92. Rape

"I'm not sure when it all became about the sex. It's never what I wanted, I just wanted to be in love with him." Putnar looked away sadly and a twisted smile crossed his face, "It was almost like getting raped every time I saw him. I mean, I didn't want to, but I didn't want him to leave, I had finally got him to accept my feelings."

"I've been meaning to ask you..." Soda said, his gaze questioning as he examined Putnar's scrapped face.

"You don't have to finish that question," Putnar said. His fingers tracing the edge of his cheek, hissing when he grazed the open wound. "You know it's not much different from sex, it just hurts a little more than you want it to."

"Why are you being so calm about this?" Soda asked in alarm.

"Don't look so concerned," Putnar huffed, "I was asking for it. Walking around with a fake ID to get into clubs because I convinced myself that it would be fun to defy my father. Then I don't even protect myself, take a drink from someone just 'cause they go to school with me.

"Not like I could even tell what was going. I was so drugged out of my mind from whatever they gave me." Tears rose in his eyes. "You know?" He looked at Soda, "It's not that bad. I don't even remember the half of it. An alleyway, dizziness, hands, a little bit of pain." He hissed as a tear fell onto his wounded cheek. "It's not even that different from sex."

5. Rot

The walls I built up in my mind have rotted away and withered to nothing...

When my mother died and my father was gone, leaving only my brother to care for me, it broke something inside of me. I lived like a ghost and wandered through my life without really living it. But the mind has a way of protecting itself and it found a way when I met him.

The second I met him changed everything. It was like the sadness and the loneliness that my mother's death left behind simply melted away. The psychiatrist calls it repression.

Repression, to restrain or prevent; to suppress a thought, feeling, or desire in oneself so that it becomes or remains unconscious.

He says that Anthony became like a wall that i built up around my memories of mother, to replace her in a way and forget that she was gone. But I mourned her even as I followed in his footsteps, like a bird that follows the first thing it sees. Even so it was the hurt that I had pushed aside and so it was that those feelings of hopelessness came washing over me the moment he walked away from me for good.

96. Storm

"Tonight should be good," Alec said as he slid the key into the door and unlocked it with a twist, "I know Putnar had big plans for the meal since we all get to eat together tonight,"He smiled gingerly at his girlfriend Alice, who was standing by looking pleased. Somehow after all this time he still managed to feel nervous around her on some days, days like this when she was looking especially beautiful. As he pushed the door open he wondered briefly to himself if that would ever pass. He hoped not.

"Putnar, we're here." He called out as he stepped inside. Alice eased in beside him and he shut the door. There was silence.

Alice walked the few steps into the kitchen and chanced a brief look around before looking over her shoulder, "He must be here."

As he followed her in he saw why. The makings of dinner were set out upon the counter and the oven was humming lightly to itself as it heated, "Putnar?" Alec called out again. His eyes scanned the area a second time, Bowl. Baking Sheet. Measuring Cups. Tin Foil. Cutting Board. Cleaving Knife. Blood.

Alec could tell that Alice had seen it too. Her skin paled at the small pool and the tiny drops that trailed along the floor to the bathroom door that stood open. The lamplight pouring out shone in a sickly yellow.

He didn't know how he hadn't from the kitchen and into the doorway but Alec was suddenly standing there, hands dripping the doorframe with a strength that made his hands numb. Putnar sat looking up at him, seated beneath the bowl of the sink as if he were a child hiding from a scolding parent. His hand was wrapped in a dishcloth and he was gripping it so tightly that his knuckles were white. Despite this he smiled, brighter than Alec had seen him do in a long time "Alec, you're home! When will mom be back? I need her to look at this cut?"

Alec slowly sent a glance in Alice's direction who returned the bewildered look. Alec's mother had been dead for several years and Putnar had known this fact better than anybody/

98. Unlikely Match

"They want to tell you what you think, did you know that? They want to rationalize away everything that you thought you knew about yourself just because they listened to you talk about yourself for a couples hours a day for three weeks straight. And I won't say it wasn't a relief to tell someone, God knows I don't want to remember how Alec found out about everything. But it seems that even those people, who pride themselves in uncovering the thoughts of people want more of an explanation than what is there.

"They told me I wasn't really in love with Anthony, I never really was. To them, he's just someone I attached to because I needed a male role model to take the place of mu father who was gone and my brother who was too busy making sure we had enough food on the table to worry about my upbringing.

"According to them I didn't fall in love because I was in love, but because I mistook the affection of a father figure for something more. So I'm at fault, I ruined his reputation and it wasn't even love.

Isn't that what you want to hear?

61. Fairy Tale

"Astin!" Cato cried as she struggled to reign in her bay horse. It took several steps back, pawing at the frozen earth. She heard the heavy breathing as it's nostrils flared, breathing in the scent of large brown bear that was tearing across the clearing towards them, the bear that the wolf she had called out to was charging at now.

The wolf took no heed to her call, but threw himself head on towards the enemy. He would not let anyone harm his master. His black coat stood out in harsh contrast to the snow that his legs kicked out flurries. Without a second thought to himself he charged straight into the bear, risking a few quick snaps at it's wooly neck before leaping away and circling around the creature.

It should have been sleeping, in a cave somewhere through the harsh winter. And it seemed to feel the same. After being cut off in it's charge, the bear stood a moment, almost dimwittedly, unable to grasp what had happened. Then its lips curled back and roared over its shoulder at the wolf. The sheen of blood shown on its tawny furred neck. Cato's horse bucked again as the scent of blood reached its nostril. The bear turned its eyes again towards the frantic creature and ignored the black wolf.

But the wolf quickly leaped in front of it, demanding all attention on himself. Astin paced before the bear, his teeth bared and gleaming. Twice he feigned a rush in, keeping the other animal on edge. At last he chanced another attack to the bear's neck. He grasped firmly, jaws gnawing in search of the vital vein in its neck. Fed up with the smaller animal's attack and finally fully awake, the bear swatted at the wolf with a large padded foot. Even at that distance Cato could hear the rip of the claws as they tore through flesh. Astin let out a pitiful yelp and finally let go of the larger creature.

"Astin!" Cato yelled in desperation. The bear turned its glassy eyes towards her and her blood turned to ice in her veins. Perhaps she was lucky, for the bear turned away. It had realized that it was wasting far to much effort on these two, and also, maybe that it should have been sleeping now instead of wondering the frozen forests.

Cato waited just long enough for the bear to disappear under the shadow of the trees before leaping down from her horse and running to the wolf that had been her companion since she was a child.

But something stopped her as she ran to his side. A chocked cough emerged from the black bloodied fur that lay in the snow, a human cough. "Astin?"

A groan answered her, and the bloody rolled over to reveal human legs and arms that sat crouched under the fur, which appeared like a cloak now. "Bloody beast!" Was the rough reply, yelled out into the sparse trees before the wolf's head turned in her direction. The wolf's head was now perched up the brow of a man's face, much like a hood. Familiar gold eyes peered out from underneath the wolf skin hood, but the face was alien, framed with long, lank black hair. "Cato," her name sounded foreign coming from his lips , "You not hurt?" he inquired with a cock of his head.

" I am quite alright," she answered dumbly.

He smiled cheerfully, "He not so scary," He said as he rose to his feet, a hand pressed to his bare stomach where four ugly scratches marked the surface. Cato colored and turned away as she realized this was not the only part of him that was bare. "Just a scratch," he said proudly, not noticing.

Cato rubbed her temples in frustration," My dog just turned into a man, I must have passed out," Of course, that was the only explanation.

48. Carrying ( Princess/Bridal Style)

"Heso," The quiet whisper barely reached my ears as I was shaken gently awake. A cleared my throat and blinked several times before the woman before me came into focus. Shonasha's mother.

As she saw me awake she withdrew her hand and stepped back. "You fell asleep, the both of you," She gazed over to the couch where, in the dying firelight, I could see her son slumped over the book I had given him to read.

Affection for the young man swelled in my chest and I could feel a smile breaking across my face. As she turned back towards me, I banished it. The woman already distrusted me greatly.

She folded her arms across her chest and looked to the floor. Glancing at me beneath her blonde curls, dyed red in the fire's burning light she said, with obvious difficulty,"I cannot have him sleeping out here, he'll catch cold. If you would." Her features hardened for a second as she chose her words, "Please take him to his room and put him to bed. He is such a heavy sleeper and... it's been so long since I've been able to carry him." She sighed, "He's not my little boy anymore."

"Of course my lady," I answered.

Disgusted with her decision to let me, a man she trusted very little, do such a thing she muttered a "Thank you," and departed to her own room. I wondered at her not wanting to stay and watch my every move, but dismissed it. It was late and I should be returning to my own chamber as well.

As gently as I could I lifted Shonasha from his seat, marveling at his light weight despite only being a few inches shorter than I was now. He stirred very little but curled into my chest against the chill. I could feel his warmth breath against the front of shirt . My heart beat audibly in my ears.

I took him into the smaller bedroom, pleasantly warm thanks to the heat resonating from the stone walls. I set him upon the bed and pulled the covers around him after slipping off his shoes. He settled comfortably into the spot and a look of comfort crossed his angelic features. Content that work was appreciated, a made my way to the door where I stopped in my tracks, an impulse having crossed my mind.

I wanted to kiss him goodnight.

I cursed myself for even letting the idea stop me. Obviously it was ridiculous. His mother was in the other room. It would take her but a second to step out and spy me from the open door at which point she would promptly dismiss me from his life forever. Not to mention that I was easily twice his age, though I reasoned with myself that this didn't mean so much when the oldest of my people could live to a healthy age of three hundred. And we were both men.

Ah! But I was in love.

Thus I found myself at his bedside once more, brushing back his white hair stooping his kiss his brow. I turned away quickly to leave, feeling like some sort of criminal, but a tug at my sleeve stopped me.

Shonasha's violet eyes stood open, staring at me, a question on his lips. "Don't leave," he whispered.

I brushed his hand aside and fled.

31. Flower

The afternoon was flooded with the scent of the flowers. The two women lounged on the still warm bed of grass as falling petals fell gracefully down upon their beautiful forms. They laughed joyously and as effortlessly as child would. But it did not last, a peace such as this could never last.

A scream pierced that still afternoon. Both women bolted upright, fear was writ on the younger one's face, while the other held only a look of deep concern. Silently she rose to her feet, and gesturing for the other to follow her, made her way through the spacious trees back in the direction of their home, which ,sadly had been the origin of the scream.

The younger whimpered as they walked. Fear shook her limbs and made her fall behind. The older tried to be as gentle with her as possible. She shushed her and beckoned her on in comforting tones but as they drew near she wished that she could have left her companion elsewhere.

The sight they came upon was horrifying. Men dressed in the foreign clothes to the south, heavy cloth and leather boots, trampled through their home. The tang of metal was on the air which rose from their warmed chain-mail and weapons as well as the blood they were spilling with them. The elder turned away as one of the strangers cut a red line through the belly of one of her sisters. A few hot tears ran down her cheeks. She quickly brushed these away and tried to regain her composure.

A sound at her side brought her back to the trouble at hand. The younger woman was staring out to the clearing with wide glazed eyes. She clutched at her face with shaking fingers. The older tried to draw her attention, to pull her away from the sight but it was too late. The younger let out a terrified scream.

She never finished that scream. As the older woman watched in horror a thick wooden arrow buried itself in the depths of her stomach. The younger's scream turned into a bloodied gurgle as two more arrows found home beneath her breast and then at last in her heart. Her body collapsed to the ground, staining the ground in crimson.

The survivor threw her hands to her mouth, stifling her breath, but she knew it was hopeless. This flower could never survive such a slaughter.

30. Rain (cont. of flower)

As the men came to fetch the younger woman's body, the older thought she would surely die. With spears in hand they came around the tree that she hid behind. For a moment, she hoped that they would not see her. One pulled the arrows from the dead woman's body and hoisted her over his shoulder. As he turned around to head back, he noticed the other. In words she could not understand, he called out to his companions and made her known.

She had never felt so exposed before as the man, blanketed from head to toe in cloth, leered at the bare contours of her body. "This one," He said as he pointed his spear at her, though she couldn't understand it, "We must take back to the Leader."

They herded here along, digging the butts of their spears into her soft flesh until they came upon the center of their own encampment. Though she tried to walk tall and without fear She lamented to see her home so defiled. It seemed that none of her people had survived. All that had been created by her people had been uprooted in a chaotic mess and the blood soaked ground sank beneath her feet, staining her soles red.

They bound her wrists and left her sitting in a patch of bare earth. The deluged ground clung to her bare legs and her fingertips. The smell was unbearable.

She sat up straight and squared her shoulders as another pair of men came towards her. The larger held a hand axe and gestured at her with a laugh. He said something to his companion before laying the edge of his blade against her neck. "Why are you still breathing pretty thing?" he asked in words she did not understand.

"Because she is mine," Answered another foreign tongue as a sword blade ducked beneath the axe and slowly pushed it away. The wielder of the blade stared hard at the other pair until they, answering him dejectedly, slunk back a few steps and lowered their weapons harmlessly to their sides.

The blade remained at her neck. She stared up the length of it into the surprisingly soft eyes of the man holding it. He told her in heavily accented words of her own tongue, "They haven't learned it yet, but they will come to understand that you belong to me alone."

She took a deep breath hoping to instill her words with venom, but her voice quivered as she snapped back, "I belong to no one but the trees. Me, and my people, it has always been out way. Now you animals have come and destroyed all that we were and hoped to be,"

"You may call us animals," he hissed, "But at least we are higher than you who, in your weakness, will serve as our sustenance." He gestured around him where many of his men were busy at work skinning the dead bodies and salting the meat.

She turned away and vomited, bile burning her nose and throat. Hot tears welled up in her eyes and and down her face in streams. "Man-eater," she spit like a curse. Even as the tears fell from her chin, spots of rain began touching down upon her bare flesh.

"You see!" The man boomed as he switched to his own language, "Just as the legends say. An Elreen's tears bring rain down from the heavens. Her sorrow will revive our lands, just as her people's flesh fills ours and our children's bellies."

A great cheer rose in reply to this, but the woman could only feel her tears as she thought of the misery that stood before her.

94. Soft

It was finally time for the inauguration. He looked upon the faces of the people around me, the woman who had taken him in, her adopted son, the closest thing he had to a brother, the prince who had become a king that very day, and Heso. He returned Shonasha's glance with a warm smile. Tonight was the night they had all been planning for. For years they had stood behind this prince and worked their hands so that he would one day become king. "...for a better world." he found himself saying under his breath.

All was left was to survive the masquerade ball the King had planned for the occasion. Heso brushed a bit of hair behind Shonasha's ears and straightened the mask perched on the bridge of his nose. "You'd better get out there, the guests will be arriving soon. I will meet you out there."

"How will I know you?" Shonasha asked. Heso had not yet donned his costume.

"You will know," he said reassuringly before giving Shonasha a nudge to the door. "Now go."

He turned towards his adopted family. The pair nodded back at him and they made their way out in to the ballroom.

Heso turned to the king who stared back at him before looking at a pair of daggers looped on a belt sitting on the wardrobe. The king walk to them and lifted the blades, testing their weight in his hand, "It is just as you said it would be."

"I have Seen this night in its entirety. Everything will pass as I have said it would," Heso replied. Even at that moment his eyes were reaching into the possibilities of the future and he Saw what would come to pass.

"Of course," The king said, "I know that," He placed a hand to his chest as he drew in a deep breath. Only a keen eye would have caught the way his fingers trembled as he rested his hand there, feeling his heartbeat. " All this time and it still gives me chills to see things play out just as you say they will." He shook his head, "But I digress. Let us go now and ready for the night's festivities. You and I are both expected out there."

78. Drink (cont of soft)

I passed my drink off to a masked waiter. The night had so far passed uneventfully. The guests had come with little problems. Any weapons had been checked to be of the costume variety although some had wished to comment on how unfashionable my costume was. It made me laugh. I was disguised as myself, the man who had murdered the new king's late cousin. Of course I had been framed, though no one else was aware of this fact.

I had just been lamenting the fact that I had forgotten my daggers when a voice distracted me from my thoughts.

"Good evening,"

Heso. I turned to face the masked figure. For a moment I was taken aback, he was dressed as I was. He had chosen my likeness as his costume. "Good evening," I replied at length, "What a coincidence that we should both be in such bad taste." As the masquerade went, we were not supposed to reveal identities, I feigned ignorance of his, thought I knew him to well to be fooled.

"How do you mean?" he asked, also playing the game.

"Our company seems to find it inappropriate to dress as such a recent criminal. Though I don't see how playing as a barbarian who killed one woman is worse than playing another who killed fifty two-hundred years ago."

His shoulders sagged in a shrug, "Such is the way of society. But if I may switch topics to the reason I came over here? It seemed only appropriate that one Shonasha Shonojo, should ask the other Shonasha to join him in a dance. And I do believe it is something I had promised quite a long time ago,"

I was glad of the mask that hid the color that rose on my cheeks, "I would be honored my lord,"

43. Die (cont of drink)

It seemed like only a moment before our dance had finished. Before I could ask for a second he cut in, "Please excuse me, there is someone I need to speak." I watched him disappear into the crowd, my heart still racing.

I stepped out of the way of the couples who were pairing up for the next dance. Eventually I made my way to the wall where I could be along with my feelings. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"You forgot these,"

I started in surprise, Heso had come back? I opened my eyes and my heart leapt, but not for love. It had been Heso's voice and he held the daggers that I had left in the back-room where we had last met, but the costume was different. If that was the case then...

"Totsu," I jerked forward, craning my head to look for the white head that had disappeared into the crowd. Heso caught my arm hard, and held me there.

"Don't"

"Heso, your brother is here," I fumbled to tear his hand from my arm but his grip did not loosen, "He's surely come to kill the king, I must stop him,"

He didn't look at me, just held me tight. "You can't. You will die."

"What does that matter?" my voice raised, but was still barely audible over the din of the party, "His life is far more important than his. Let me go you're hurting me."

"I can't, I won't let you," He pressed a clammy hand to my face. Visions flashed before my eyes. I saw myself escape from his grip and run through the crowd. As I reached the disguised Totsu he drew his blade, not a costume blade but a real sword of steel and ran me through. I felt the pain through my insides as I fell to the floor and died.

I shook my head, clearing the visions from my eyes. Once again I saw Heso and the crowds behind him. He was gripping my arm hard enough to bruise and a desperate look lay in his eye as he finally looked me in the face.

"This is what we've been working so hard to accomplish!" I yelled at length. I lashed out at him, striking at his gripping arm with a vengeance, "Let me go I have to do something."

"NO." Cold steel pressed a "v" across my throat followed by the sound of my dropped scabbards on the floor. Heso had pinned me with my own daggers that he had brought to return to me. In a hushed and rasping whisper he said, "I can't lose you, If you try to save him you will die."

15. Silence

Tears sprung up in Shonasha's eyes at the sight of the man. For over two hundred years he had thought Heso had died, had taken his own life to save him, but here he was alive and unchanged in all those years except for the ugly scar that ran across the right side of his neck right above his collarbone.

Though he tried to fight them off, the tears clung to his lashes, and were soon running down his cheeks. As a means to hide them and to relive an old comfort, he buried his face in Heso's chest.

"And here I thought you had grown," Heso said softly.

"Let me be a child again, for just a moment," Shonasha whispered in reply.

Heso smiled to himself, and wrapped his arms around the younger man before kissing him atop the head, "Alright, but just for a moment."

***

Nimbus observed this from afar with a grimace.

Astin, noting his friend's discomfort gave him a nudge before returning to his normal stance, with his arms folded across his chest," If it bothers you so much my brother, I would suggest you turn away and forget this sight. He has numerous times proved his worth as a man in battle and keen in strategy. You should not forget these things simply because he has given his heart to a man."

The young king grunted in reply, but the subject was not dropped, as his sister Cato, having overheard, came over. She clapped her hands in delight, "Why Astin, I had never expected to hear such words from your mouth! And so eloquently spoken, there is hope for you yet!"

Astin flushed in embarrassment and turned away. He cleared his throat and forced his voice into a light growl, "I only meant to say that we should not allow the new things we learn of our companions interfere with what we've come to expect from them. Besides, I find myself a little closer to him now."

"Really?" Cato asked curiously, "Why is that?"

Astin's face flushed again as he spoke, "Because we both know what it is to have loved and to have thought it lost to us forever, only to have it find its way back," With this he grasped Cato's hand in his own, though he didn't look at her. He was still uncomfortable with expressing his feelings, it not being a very "wolf-like" thing to do.

"Oh Astin!" Cato quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek, "You can be sweet when you want to be,"

Astin cleared his throat again before quickly changing the subject, "It is a shame though, that Shonasha will have no pups. They would have carried on a strong bloodline if he had chosen a woman,"

Cato sighed in exasperation, "Only a wolf would think of carrying on their bloodline before love."

"We only continue our bloodline with those we love, just as I love you and would very much like pups of our own."

"Astin!" Cato's voice was shrill as her face flushed, "Do not say such things in the presence of my brother!." She turned to console her brother, but he was no where to be seen.

49. Preservatives (cont of rain)

Rain pattered down lightly on the heads of all of the travelers, just as the light hot tears burned down the face of the woman as they put each new mile between her and her home. They rode on endlessly, at leisure enough to keep the horses going but ever onward. Only at night did they stop to partake of some of the meat they had come so far to collect. She covered her nose to the rotten smell of her people cooking in the fires.

It made her fear riding with him, the leader who had claimed her as his wife. She feared with each day that he might reach around her and take a bite of her neck and let her lifeblood spill out even as they pressed forward, not even stopping to hack off the flesh that clung to her bones.

She shivered, even in the wet heat that had steadily grown as they traveled further south. It had been ten days now. All signs of her forest home were gown. Surrounding them now was a sort of jungle. Trees reached there wide crisp leaves to the heavens and vines grew around the roots to trip up the horses. But something was wrong. The rivers they stopped to drink from were dipping much lower than there banks told was their full capacity. The trees too were sparse of any fruit and no new growth were sticking up their tiny leaves from the ground. The place was dying.

When the sun had reached it's highest point they came upon something new within the trees. It was a stronghold of stone. Dried up vines crawled without challenge into the tall windows that lines the higher floor. They proceeded through a wide channel through the front and she gasped to see it.

Starved bodies, no more than skin on bone lay upon the ground. They were not dead however. They stirred with the sound and smell of the horses and rose painfully to their feet. They were children.

The leader stopped his horse and called something to his men who all dismounted and carried their packs among the waiting children who found some hidden energy in them to cry out in joy and run through the great wooden doors to call to more.

The leader has dismounted himself and was smiling after the children when he noticed her watching. "Shieto, Man-Eaters as you call us, live in a peculiar way. Typically we stay with our kind. We find mates, have a child, and depending on the gender of the child, one of us will die."

She gaped at him.

"There were too many sons born lately. All of our women are gone now. We can survive off other foods as well, but you saw it. The life around here is dying. We had no choice but to journey elsewhere, to protect the survival of our race." He looked at her, imploringly, "With you among us, the jungle can stay alive, and I can find a new way for my people so that we may persevere."