Have you ever had something happen in a relationship of yours (whether it be with your parents, siblings, or other loved ones) that had greatly affected the relationship for better or worse? If you think about that event now, would you go back and change it? Or do you think it was for the better, no matter the result? Please tell me all!

I'll let you know one of my events...
A couple of years ago, my boyfriend had cheated on me. Not physically, but he had been "sexting" other girls, sending pictures of himself and such. Our relationship was young, then, and it was a slow train wreck waiting to happen; it was then that it found it's collision point. But because of that event, our relationship had a fresh beginning. He became a completely new person, and so did I, changes for the better. We're still together to this day, and about to celebrate our 4th anniversary!
I think back to that time, and as much as it had sucked and as much as I had worried I was making the wrong decisions, I don't regret it. I wouldn't change anything that had happened. We're extremely happy and stronger than we have ever been. And it only gets better day after day.

I was in a bad relationship for 6 years. Not abusive or anything, but I was in it for all the wrong reasons, and I was using it as a crutch and an excuse to not actually live my life. I was pretty much never happy. I really wish I had ended things sooner than I did. Sometimes I wonder if I would have started getting my life together sooner if I had had the sense to say "this needs to stop" earlier. I do wonder if some of those years could have not been wasted if I had acted differently... The guy I was dating was basically the only person of significance in my life, so even when I really knew I wasn't happy with him... I stayed with him because without him I had nothing and I was afraid of that. So I never really let myself fully realize how much I was not happy with him - I didn't want to face that.

So yeah, I wish I had gotten out of that sooner. But I'm still proud as hell of myself that I did it eventually. It wasn't easy - I worried myself sick about it for two weeks, wondering if it was the right decision. I could barely eat and lost six pounds during that. I'm very thin to start with, so I don't have six pounds on me to lose healthily - I looked a little scary. It would have continued longer, but he said something that just kind of spurred things so I took the opportunity. And I'm really glad I did. It hurt him, and I wish there would have been some way that I could have done it without hurting him, but... I'm doing a lot better now.

Gosh I have a list. *sigh* There is one thing though, that I don't ever wonder about, like if I could change it. I would, super instantly, lol. I was in high school and my mom took me and my best friend to the beach in our state, about four hours away, for the weekend. It was right before or right after graduation I can't remember.

She let us drink. I got shmasted. My mom and I exchanged words, for the first time ever. I had a lot of resentment and bitterness towards her that started in my early early childhood, so a LOT of things were said, that should never have been said in such a way. I don't even really remember much of it. I remember sitting on the roof of our hotel crying and watching the sunset while they didn't know where I'd gone. My best friend was at the pool and I don't know what my mom did. I don't even remember what happened after that.

None of us have spoken a word about it since then. Not even the next day. Not even my best friend and that was six years ago? I hatteeee remembering (what little I remember anyway) that trip. I wonder how often my mom thinks about it, or what my best friend ever thought of me because of it. I think it makes it worse that no one ever like, faced it, or whatever. Uhg. What an awful memory.

Also, to you guys for the things you've gone through. None of that stuff is easy. I'm so glad you're both doing better!

I'm sure your mother understood you weren't totally in control of yourself. That being said, maybe you could bring it up and apologize for it, since it still bothers you so much? I'm sure it would be hard, but it might be good for both of you. If you don't think you could do it in person or on the phone, maybe you could write her a letter. It might bring some peace to both of you.

Yeah. I've been telling myself that for years. I just don't ever feel like I'm ready for that. Our relationship hasn't really changed, you know? I don't feel like I can bring that up or apologize for it until a ton of other things from our past have been addressed. If that makes sense.

I understand exactly what you mean, that makes sense.

I'm sure you'll find the right to talk to your mom about it. I'm in a similar situation with my mother, only she hasn't been afraid to mention about our tiff to others.. she just won't talk to me. A lot of things were said, though, that needed to be said and I don't regret that. I'm sure we'll find the right day to talk about it again in the future. I just don't know when.

Well I hope for both of us that we can talk about these things to our mothers before we don't have the chance to anymore.

I hope so too! But I'm sure everything will work out. I suppose time will tell.

Hi all. Some of you might know me, but again, some of you might not.

I'm 17 Y.o., and a Highschool Senior. I have high expectations for the coming year. However, there is something that's been on my mind for the past few Years that I can't seem to shake off. My Relationship with my Family is 'strained' as best. In Truth, I don't know if I'm being stupid and selfish, or if any of this is justified, but I feel like I need to clear the air, and state what 'I' think.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family to death, but there's a limit to where love and Loyalty will take. My Birth Parents I have barley anything to do with. My Father is an Ex-Gang Leader, and my mother was a Drug-addict. My father, to an Extent, has tried to shape up, and straighten out, though I have a hard time trusting him. My mother I can honestly say, without a doubt, that I hated her. I hated her for what she did to me, My father, and My baby sisters. Though, now that I look back on it, I wonder if I should've done more to try and help her. I didn't talk to her for 4 years before she died. Now, a dozen 'what ifs' plague my thoughts.

I know many of you would think I could go to my grandparents, or any other family, to talk to about this, but in truth, I don't trust them enough to actually talk to them about it. I use the word 'Trust' loosely, because I don't have another word for it. Whenever I've tried to talk to them about it, they've either made fun of it, took it into a whole different direction, or never took me seriously. My aunts think I make up most of this stuff for attention. My grand-father, I don't really talk to, and my grandmother, it's hard to talk to her.

I love my Grandparents to death, they've done so much for me, and I don't think I could name two better people, but I can't handle my Grandmothers temper sometimes, without contradicting everything she says because, from my view point, it's hypocritical. I think She over-works herself, and won't listen to me when I say she should find other work. When I tell her I think she has a Compulsive Cleaning Disorder (She cleans the house maybe 3-4 times a day, from when she first gets up in the morning, to when it's 10-11 at night.), she gets angry, and this leads to a fight. We fight almost daily, and sometimes it turns physical.

My Aunt's, I don't see them doing anything with their lives. my Youngest is 27 years old, and the oldest is 30. They both still live at home, with their parents, and because I try to stay independent, and not owe anyone favors, they take advantage of my need for cash. My parents won't let me get a job, saying that the area we live in is too dangerous, and my dad is not taking me to get a social security card any time soon, so I'm stuck doing this grunt work.

I'm wondering if I'm being lazy, like they say, or am I being taken advantage of? I don't know, I really don't. I don't know if I would change the way I was raised, for it has had it's up's and down, but I have enough 'what ifs' to fill several text-books.

When I was in school my parents forbid me from seeking and engaging in a romantic relationship. It was a very much "Have as many friends as you want, doesn't matter whether they're boys and girls, but don't get a boyfriend". Their reasoning was that it would distract me from studies...

I had crushes on boys back then, and because I was obedient, I never really told any of them that I liked them when I did. I suspect there may have been boys that liked me too, whether or not the feeling was mutual...

I sometimes wonder what could've happened if I were more open about my feelings, especially now that it's been years since I've had those feelings of falling and being in love.

I used to feel bad for pushing my family away but then as I got older I realized that my reasons were legit. I don't worry about it as often as I used to, I mean it does bother me that my aunts and my one uncle are cut out of my life because of selfish choices they made but I also have a family of my own I have to worry about and keep safe too.

My one aunt always talked behind my back about things I'd do and try to bring me down. She's just immature and selfish on so many levels. One day I was really thinking about it and I came to the conclusion that I would not miss her at all in my life so I just stopped talking to her and have had nothing to do with her for about 5 years now.

My mom's sister and her husband started getting into drugs so that's why I have nothing to do with them. The final straw was when my aunt was trying to steal pain meds and money from my grandpa and I walked in on her trying to so I said something to her about how it's disgusting that she has to stoop so low as to steal from her own father and that she needs to get help. That didn't go over too well and she freaked out on me saying how she has nothing wrong with her and that everything is fine. I ended up telling my mom what happened and my mom talked to her about it but she refuses to change anything about herself.

As far as relationships go, when I was married, I married young. It was the wrong timing and we were both too immature at the time. He ended up with another girl shortly after we broke up who he was seeing behind my back. I had no problem with him having a girlfriend and being with me, it's just the fact that he lied and tried to hide it from me that did it. We divorced but stayed in touch and eventually became really close again. We both decided that we can't see ourselves with anyone else now and we're getting remarried at the end of next summer.

I think everything happens for a reason, even if the reason isn't apparent at the time.

I wouldn't change anything. As bad as my life has gotten to this point, there are events that, had my life been just a little different... I may never have met a wonderful friend I did recently... and I may not have ever found Menewsha.
Sure I went through a nasty divorce and stuff, but they led me to where I am right now.

about 6 years ago though, I would have wanted to change everything.

I think about the opposite, sometimes. I was so guarded and afraid of intimacy during my teens and early twenties that I pushed away a lot of guys that were interested. I sometimes wonder what might have happened if I allowed myself to engage in casual relationships and casual sex. I probably would have had more fun. But I wonder what it would have done to my character.

I don't regret my choice. In the end, I was able to find someone who finds me attractive as a whole person, not just someone to fool around with. I wish I came into this relationship with more experience, but I guess I'm lucky for avoiding a lot of heartbreak.

Well back in my Senior year, my best friend (now boyfriend) really liked me, like he had liked me probably since Sophomore year, but I was this sad little person who liked being alone too much and crushed on the wrong guys at school that I didn't even realize how happy he made me as a person in general. I wish I had said 'yes' to him sooner, maybe when he asked me out for the fifth time during our slow dance at Prom, but then again, I don't regret it. I love those sentimental moments I have with him every now and then, telling him how much I love him with all those times he made a difference in my life and I was too stupid to even think about it. I don't even know what difference it would have made if I said 'yes' sooner. Maybe I would have gotten to finally hold hands with someone I cared about deeply down the hallways, kiss (PG-ish, not that make-out shit) between classes, smile at each other across the hall, etc like I always wanted. But where would he and I be now? I have a feeling things wouldn't be as sentiment. So I'm going to say no. I wouldn't have changed what happened.

About 7 years ago, I was a statistic. I was raped. I know that seems like a sad story but I am in a good place in my life right now. I'm not sure if I would change the things that happened, including that day. Maybe I would, but I have a feeling that if I did, I wouldn't be where I am right now. My life has been changed so drastically because of it that I can't even speculate. I know that the person I was before it, died. I am not that person anymore and I never will be. An event like that, it scars you. Yes, you heal, time inevitable does do its thing. It forces you to change an when all is said and done, its never the same. Before the day it happened I was in a relationship. I thought I was in love. This guy, knew me and understood me and it seemed like no one else could. Then that day happened. Big plans to go see a movie with my brother and his friend. We get there hang out for a bit, my brother left and that was fine at the time. His best friend was THE family friend. The sort of friend that's become furniture over the years, can walk into the house unannounced and noone cares. I always question, what if I had just not gone that day? What if I just stayed home on ventrillo with the BF playing some WoW? I'll never know. But what happened that day changed me in a way that everything else in my life also changed. I dropped out of school for a year. Yes, it was partly to save money, and another part of it was this perpetual fear I was in. He went to the same school. We were completely different majors so its not like I would have easily run into him. But that irrational fear was paralytic. The happy relationship I was in crumbled. I couldn't trust men anymore. Not even the one that used to "get me." and I found that he just didn't "get me" anymore. How could he? I wasn't the same person. He even blamed me for being alone with another guy, but not as much as I blamed myself. Its silly looking back. All of it is. But my life, that seemed to be ok at the time, changed. But it was directly after my breaking up with this guy that I found stability, and courage to get my own life back together. I went back to school, I started working again, I started reconnecting with the things I love. Eventually I found my fiance. And I am happy now. I can't imagine it being any other way.

The first thing to come in mind is something that happened well over two years ago. A simple meet in real life with one of my online friends, turned into a year and a half nightmare. I know the first thing anyone generally thinks the moment they see 'real life meet up', is "Idiot you don't know who it's gonna be!". But when your young, just out of high school, you can't help but think you don't need to worry, because your not some little kid anymore. I found out the hard way, that you don't know how you'll handle a situation, til it comes up.
To give some background to the story, I had been talking to a guy I met through a role-play site for about a year. He was a good friend with the site owner and didn't seem like a bad person at all. So after seriously chatting with each other, over role-plays and our live, for about 3 months; we started using Skype to do video calls. Mostly so we'd know the other person wasn't really a 60-year-old media hyped rapist. After letting that go on for another 3 months, I found out he was going to be coming to my area to visit is dad. He needed a ride to get to his dad's place from the bus stop, so I offered to help him out.
I really wish I could say I regret and wish I never did that, but I can't. Because I'm glad I found out what a sexist jerk the guy really was. However, I do wish that no matter what he did that day, I told him NO. No; I didn't want to date him, I didn't want to be alone with him, and no to everything else he did that day.
I know that being in that abusive relationship, helped bring me to the man I love today. However, I can't help but feel like if I stood up for myself; I'd be more confident. I wouldn't flinch every time a guy raises his hand, I'd be able tell people what I want without being afraid, and most of all be able to walk in public without having to look around constantly to make sure I'm safe.
Unfortunately, you can't change the past, but you can learn from it. :)

When I was 17, I was raped. I just wanted to trust in someone, and I thought this guy was a friend. That's how I lost my virginity (something that may not be important to some, but it is to me). If I could I'd go back in time and change that.

I'd like to say that I'm a better person for it, but I have to be honest with myself: I'm not.
I've had trust issues and intimacy issues ever since.

I wish I could turn back the time on a lot of things that have festered and poisoned my soul. But I think the day I was raped would be the biggest thing I would change.

I have a few instances like that, but i generally try to see the positive in things that come my way. The person who taught me that was a healthier thing to do was also the one who broke my heart for the first time.

In 2008 i fell quite desperately in love with a guy who i went to college with, and although he liked me, and told me that we might become a proper couple when we were at uni the following year, he never made any real commitment to me. Far from it. He persisted in chasing after another girl in our class, which was a hellish journey for all three of us. I was very naive about relationships at the time, never having had one before, and he took full advantage of my desire to do anything to help him in whatever way i could. Although he claimed he never knew of my romantic attachments to him, he can't possible have been that blind for nearly a year and a half. Anyway, one thing lead to another, and just before we left college we ended up in the same bed.

At uni he continued to use me, failing to tell me, even when explicitly asked, that he had interest in another girl he'd met there. He got together with her, dropping me like a stone one day. He kept up the pretense of friendship for a while, before i eventually had to cut him completely out of my life. The moment of realisation came when i was almost sexually assaulted and turned to him for help. He scorned me and brushed me off. He was history then.

But it was also because of him that i became a volunteer at the zoo, went to uni at all (he influenced me to put down Chester as a second choice, and my original choice ended up rejecting my application), and through the zoo i also met two people who knew my current boyfriend/love of my life, and helped to set us up. There's been so many positives from that one incident that i can't help but forgive all the anger and hurt he caused me. I'm much older and wiser now. It still hurts that he lied to me, and was a general toerag, but he and his girlfriend have to live with that now.

I think we all regret things until we realise the positive to come from it, though some things take a very long time to recover from, if we ever do at all.

Wow, so many of you guys have gone through such awful things.
It's really uplifting to see how many of you are managing to carry on with your lives and focus on the positives, though.