Day One: The Only Day
My Baby Yan showed up today! I knew how much he liked flowery shorts, so before I took his picture I offered to make him a pair. He had a lot of creative input on them.
"What about some nice pastels on a faded background? Very pastoral. Retro," I suggested.
"MAEK THEM BLUU AND PURPLE! :D" Yan commanded, and so I did. He then later dictated that they have tiny yellow stars.
"Alright, Yan. I think these are as tacky as they can get."
"ON BLAK BACKROWN!"
"Okay,
now they're as tacky as they can get."
Picture 1:
"WUTS FOR DINAR?" Yan asked. Nevermind the fact that it was still quite early - much too early for dinner. But my mother had just cut up some meat for dinner, so I let him have a look at that. (Don't worry, there's saran wrap over it! He's not touching raw meat under my watch!)
Picture 2:
As I put up the meat, I was explaining to him how I'm vegetarian, but that I respect that he isn't and he can eat something other than what I do. But as I turned back around I found that while I had been doing that, he had been a bit naughty and gotten into my ice cream...
Picture 3:
Don't worry, though. It's actually frozen yogurt, so it's not that bad for him (just don't tell him that!)
After that, it was time to play Elephants and Dinosaurs! The dinosaur won, of course.
Picture 4:
"I DUN WANT 2 BRAG BUT I AM A REELY GOOD NEENJA," Yan then said.
"Oh really?"
"YA, U COUNT I GO HIED!"
I then found Yan stripped down to better blend in with my shelf of white things. How clever of him. See? He's getting smart already.
Picture 5:
But don't think that Yan's stay with me would be all food and games! I also plan to introduce Yan to lots of culture (in small doses so he doesn't get bored). To start off, we took a few moments to admire my Vincent Van Gogh print. He made a comment about the size of the women's butts, so I'm gonna go ahead and count that as art appreciation.
Picture 6:
Apparently all the culture made Yan a little restless though...
Picture 7:
Yan! Get out of there!
Well, apparently he's got a bit of masculine energy he needs to burn off, so I set him up with the two most violent video games I own, James Bond and Silent Hill. He was quite happy with that.
Picture 8:
Yes, that's a spinny-chair. :cool:
"I WAN BE NEENJA AGAIN!" Yan said.
"We already did that! Don't you want to do something else?" I asked.
"NO. JAMS BUND TEECH ME THINGS. I BE GOOD HIDER NAO," Yan said. So I decided to humor him... Turns out he did learn a thing or two. He decided to try out disguises
and hiding in plain sight.
Picture 9:
I can't say that it was very effective, though.
Next up? Potty training! Yeah, we mastered this in an hour. I'm that good.
Picture 10:
(He insisted on the sunglasses)
Next Yan wanted to sign up for a Facebook account like "all the other cool kids."
Picture 11:
Unfortunately, he didn't meet the age restrictions. I'll let him play Mafia Wars on my account.
Too much internet will make your brain rot! So I thought coloring would be a good way to work on Yan's hand-eye coordination while still being fun.
Picture 12:
He decided to draw Charlie Brown and Linus as punks.
Picture 13:
He begged to...
(I forgot to include my username in that one, but you can see my dresser in previous shots. How many other people have teal dressers?)
Next it was time to put Yan down for a nap. All that playing in my panty drawer really tuckered the little guy out. So I read him my favorite children's story from when I was little and soon he was sleeping like... well, like a baby.
Picture 14:
Once he woke up, he was well-rested but a little groggy, so I got him a cup of coffee. He particularly liked this mug for the doggie on it.
Picture 15:
Then Yan wanted to help my mother cook her dinner. He was quite helpful!
Picture 16:
Buuut after a while he got bored with cooking. So we went to go watch a movie instead. I thought he'd like
For a Few Dollars More since Clint Eastwood's such a BAMF. And I was right, Baby Yan loved it.
Picture 17:
Finally, dinner was done! Yan wanted to try my "veggamarion" food, so I let him have a serving of my dish. He loved it! Ate every bite.
Picture 18:
But would you believe that after that he was
still hungry? The meal my mother made was still in the kitchen, so I offered him a little of that. I knew he was looking forward to having that ham. I offered him a fork, but he preferred to eat with the serving spoon, straight from the pan.
Picture 19:
I waited an hour after this to give him a dessert, because I didn't want to overfeed the little guy. But by then he was
begging for a treat. He had already had some ice cream earlier in the day, so I thought he might like to have a bit of chocolate. Whoa, whoa, not
that much, Yan!
Picture 20:
After all that food, not even the coffee was enough to keep Yan awake. He was ready for bed, so I offered to read him a story. He agreed on the condition that I not read him any "keedie" books anymore. So I picked my favorite grown up book. Yeah, Baby Yan got some Orwell.
Picture 21:
Yan drifted off to dreamland as I told him of doublethink, newspeak and five minutes hate. Sleep tight, little guy!
Picture 22: