Its a simple question really but it doesn't have a simple answer. Why? I mean in my situation i care for this male friend more than i care to admit and and he cares for me too but he has all of this drama in his life and now he's starting to become distant and push me away. He says it is to protect me from the drama but I think there is more to it than that. He wont tell me what's wrong no mater how much i try and i show him he can trust me, show him i care. I don't know what to do and we got into a huge fight today over that and then he started to be all sweet and caring and now he just seems down and out of it. I'm home for break from college so I can't see him and I miss him... but I missed him before that. There was a love triangle thing with us and this other girl (ex friend for me and ex girlfriend for him but they broke it off long before i met him) I know I am rambling now but I don't know anymore i don't know what he wants and i don't know what he's thinking.... any insights?.... anybody?.....

I think the girl that developes the logical to male translator will be extremely wealthy.

Lol, very true.... I should try and create one. Lmao

Hey, girls put boys through just as much torture. I'd say that the sexes are pretty evenly matched in that respect. :yes:

If your boy doesn't want to get into a relationship and drag you into his drama, my advice is to respect his wishes. You can't force him to trust you and confide in you. All you can do is stay by his side and treat him with respect. If in time he decides to open up, then you can help him and perhaps start a relationship. If not, then you may be better off not being involved.

You'll never know what he's thinking. If he's intentionally playing mind games and making you jump through hoops, you don't want to be with someone like that.

The males of the species have been carefully trained not to display emotion, as emotion is weakness. Even when it is made clear to them that it is acceptable to discuss or display an emotion, their ability to understand their own emotions have been crushed and warped like a wrapped foot. This is true for many, though not all, males.

He was probably being sweet to you in order to restore the relationship and keep what he has, but he is unable to keep up that level of sweetness due to some sort of depression. He might understand this depression. He might not. But him telling you what will make it all better is very unlikely. If he knew what would make it all better, he would do it himself; he is probably doing damage control by keeping to himself, NOT rejecting you.

But I'm no expert.

honestly girls put up equal to worse reactions in my mind, guys try and deal with it on their own, but due to it, throw girls hearts right and left, but girls try and dump all their problems on guys without understanding guys have their own issues too.

As for what he wants, ask him, I know that is terrible, but guys are normally straightforward enough that they either give an obvious I am kidding response, or are serious.

We just learn to communicate differently. I'd suggest (as others have) that if he asks for space, to give it to him. Some people, regardless of gender, just need time to figure out their next step and having people peering in too closely makes it more difficult for them to make decisions.

I would ask him what's wrong and try to get him to talk about his issues, but if the end if he wants space, then give it him.

Mention that you will always be there for him if he needs to talk to anyone.

Wow! 0_0 your friend there reminds me ALOT of myself. And I cannot tell you how many friends of mine over the years, even quite recently, have been in your shoes wondering the same things about me. Well NOT the love triangle part... hehe! But some people, like myself and apparently your friend, tend to withdraw from EVERYONE, including family, when they feel like the walls of their life are closing in on them.

Its like I feel like I am doing what is best for everyone by cutting them off until I can sort through all of the negativity. I know this sounds absolutely crazy but I have been this way my entire life. And I dont even understand it myself. I just dont like feeling like Im dragging anyone down with me. Naturally, my friends are caring people, just like you, and they want to "be there for me" but I refuse it. I wont even talk to anyone on the phone or answer their emails. I know it must be frustrating as hell to them but I cannot help it. :(

When I am upset or overwhelmed with stress, I completely shutdown so I have no energy or will to be social at all. And once I feel OK again, I call and email everyone straightaway to let them know that Im OK. And I am going to be honest and tell you that it makes me more miserable when certain people try to pressure me into talking about things when I am not ready to do so. It makes me withdraw even more and become more distant. If you continue to pressure your friend, he may become even more reclusive. And you dont want that.

I am only telling you this because I have a feeling that your friend may be experiencing some of these same feelings. This would explain his edgy attitude toward you right now. I truly hope this helps you to understand that your friendship with him is not dying. I think he just needs time alone to deal with his own issues. And he needs to deal with them in the way that he feels is best for himself and others. :)

well some guys think theyre better than the girl, or maybe theyre too insensitive to realize what theyre doing. whatever the case is, its not right. or perhaps he needed a place to vent and being creul to the girl was the only way. theres a lot of explanations, but might not be the one ur looking for.

Females also do put men through hell, and men and women do it to eachother. It's how each person was raised to handle things.

I think I would back away and let him work things out for himself for a little while. My boyfriend sometimes gets the same way, where he needs his space to figure an issue out that he doesn't want me getting wrapped up in. He does this because whenever he does tell me what's going on, I get really worried, and that stresses him out. Whenever he has a problem I can solve, then he usually tells me.
So, if he's asking for his space, respect his wishes. He just needs to cycle out the drama for himself, because I think if he sees you getting worried, he'll just get deeper into his depression.