After finishing the last of his meal, Kai turned his head away toward his shoulder. "I was scared because I don't know what to say back. It doesn't have anything to do with you," he mumbled. His shoulder garbled much of the sound, but not enough to make it not understandable. Turning slightly pink, he stood and took his plate to the sink so he didn't have to make eye contact with him. When the other man suggested they cuddle though, he didn't back away. "That sounds...nice I think."

Axsher smiled at the shyness, "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." He walked up behind Kai and hugged him gently. "It's okay to not say anything sometimes, I wont judge you or think badly of you. I just wanted you to know that it's okay to be silent." Pulling away he interlaced his fingers with Kai and smiled brightly, "You don't have to cuddle, I just think it would be nice."

Still a little pink in his face, Kai smiled hesitantly at Axsher. He found himself easily believing the other man even though he was normally more hesitant. Axsher was really kind and understanding even though Kai knew he was hard to understand. He wrapped both hands around Axsher's middle and smiled up at him. "I do want to cuddle though. I like being near you more than anywhere else."

Axsher's face went bright red almost the second he finished saying that. 'he's so cute, I bet he doesn't even know!' He thought to himself as he hugged Kai back. "Well then lets go cuddle as we watch a movie." He picked up kai bridal style. After going carefully out of the room's door, he gently placed Kai on the couch and moved to put a movie in, "Do you have anything you want to watch or does it not matter?'

Kai protested when Axsher picked him up, but in the end he let himself be carried to the couch. "It doesn't matter. It's just background noise anyway," he said with a pout before making himself comfortable on the couch. They'd watched a bunch of movies together already, but he was pretty sure he couldn't name a single one of them. He stifled a yawn. Rather, he was planning on sleeping for a while with the other man nearby.

Axsher picked out Men In Black 2 and moved Kai to sit down behind him. Smiling he pressed play then pulled Kai close, nuzzlling his face into the others neck. "Are you tired?" He asked as he noticed Kai yawning. Smiling again he pulled kai up to him to get him in a better position to sleep on him. Sighing happily he rubbed Kai's back soothingly.

Curling up against Axsher's side, he nodded his head once. "I'm a little tired. I didn't sleep much this morning after all," Kai said. He used one hand to hold Axsher in place before laying his head against the guy's shoulder. "You're my pillow so be still." His voice sounded nearly like an order as he closed his eyes. The noise of the movie made it easy to slip into sleep and Axsher made it warm and comfortable.

Axsheer was kind of shocked to hear Kai allmost order him to be still. However, he did... just for his love. Watching the end of the movie he smiiled halfway through at the feeling of Kai cuddling up to him. After the movie was over he gently picked Kai up and walked carefully to the bedroom as not to wake him up and then llaid him gently on the bed, smiling at the other. He slid next to Kai and was drifting in and out of sleep

Kai woke up just a little before the dawn, having already slept many hours and quite soundly. He was surprised to see himself in his bed, but didn't think long on how he got there. Instead, he focused on the fact that Axsher was laying next to him. After a second, he slid out of the bed and went to a box to pick up one of the sketch books in there and a pencil. Then, sitting at the foot of the bed, he started to draw Axsher who seemed to be sleeping. Kai wasn't sure why he had to draw him now, but he did. There were other drawings of people in the sketchbook, mostly of lovers. He would find himself drawing the familiar face when there was the right connection for it.

Axsher was having a pleasant dream about Kai, at the feeling of warmth left him he slowly woke up. Sitting still for a while to remember where he was he stretched and yawned. Looking around he saw Kai drawing something. "Whatchya doing handsome?" Winking a huge smile graced his face. Being that he just woke up he didn't really move around much still groggy.

With as much calm as possible, Kai shut his sketch book after finishing a blocky and yet technically accurate image of Axsher's face. He held the closed book in his lap with a small smile. The sun was just starting to streak the first signs of dawn across the sky, seen only through a slit in the curtains Kai kept drawn across his window. "Did I wake you?" he asked instead of answering Axsher's question.

"No you didn't wake me up at all honestly. I just woke up because I got cold." He smiled and looked at Kai, "Are you hungry... If you like I can make something like pancakes, waffles, french toast?" Moving to a sitting position he smiled wider at Kai, something about him just made Axsher want to smile all the time.

Kai shook his head as he got up and slipped his sketch book back into the box. He turned and regarded Axsher for a second. "I'm not hungry. I ate yesterday," he said finally with another small head shake. He sat back on the bed next to Axsher, close enough to feel his warmth without actually touching. "What do you want to do today?"

Axsher watched Kai and was a little surprised when he asked the question, "Ummm, why don't we do something you want to do for a change. I don't want you to always do what I want.... Because I'm not that interesting of a person. But you are very interesting to me and I'd like to do what makes you happy." He stretched out the you at the end as he pulled Kai a little closer and hugged him around his waist and looked up at him smiling, "So what would you like to do?"

How unfair. Kai asked the question first and did so with a reason. He didn't have anything interesting he did all day. Mostly he did nothing when he wasn't drawing, or walked. They could go on a walk. He frowned slightly rested his hands on the arms around his waist. "You're more interesting than I am. I don't do stuff," he explained. He wasn't used to his lovers always being around, which made him think. "Don't you have other places to go, other things to do? Why are you always around anyway?" Not that he didn't want Axsher to be around, but he didn't remember spending this much time with a single person since he left his parent's house.

Axsher paused and looked up at Kai, "Well with the whole getting kicked out of college and having to quit my job there isn't much for me to do." He moved slightly to get comfortable, "I should go job hunting soon. I just don't know where to start. Maybe I should get a newspaper...." Now he was rambling on to himself, talking about different jobs, what he could do, how much would he have to make and so on.

Kai listened to Axsher ramble on, enjoying the sound of his voice. "You got kicked out of school? I never went to college." That made him think of something else that he'd been wanting to ask for a while now. Only, he forgot that he'd been wanting to ask it. He remember though, considering he assumed the being kicked out of school had something to do with it. "I saw cops here last night when I was...walking by. What was that about?" he asked, a slight hiccup in the middle of the sentence because he didn't want to admit that he'd nearly come back much sooner.

Axsher shrugged and sighed, "I'm pretty much on probation and they come and check up with me from time to time to make sure that there is no cannablism going on." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Looking at Kai again he smiled gently, "You shouldn't worry about it. I wont eat meat around you, nor will I take to my cannablistic ways... I know you don't like the smell of real meat so I know you couldn't smell human. I'm rambling again aren't I? I do that a lot. My point was that you don't have to worry.. i'd become a vegetarian for you!" He smiled at the end of it.

Kai was silent for nearly a minute. His mind spun as he tried to sort the information and understand it. "Would you really do that? I don't...you shouldn't..." he struggled with his words. What did he want Axsher to do? "I don't want you to get in trouble. I don't mind it though, the meat that is. Burnt smells...I don't mind chicken though. Do you know why I hate meat? But you shouldn't change because of me," he mumbled. His words came out all jumbled, like his thoughts. He rambled far worse than Axsher did.

Axher shook his head and chuckled, "I am not changing just because you don't like it or whatever, but for the fact that I want to change because I care for you and well I don't know how to explain it." Pausing he rubbed the back of his neck, "You wont get me into trouble, ever, so don't ever think that okay? And I don't know why you hate meat... But i'll keep in mind that you don't mind chicken" He chuckled again and looked up at him in a caring way.

"I like things without change though." Kai was never this open with people, not even his parents of his psychiatrist. He didn't want to be fixed, but when he thought about it, he realized he didn't mind sharing about himself. As long as it was just sharing. He didn't want to change anything between them because it was already the realest relationship Kai had ever been in without feeling overwhelmed.

He found some scraps of paper nearby and a pencil to give him something to do while he talked. "I know what it smells like when a person has been lit on fire. I've been there. I found him...a long time ago." Without realizing it, his hands drew the scene he'd drawn hundreds of times before. A flaming wreck--two cars on the side of a potholed road lined heavily with trees whose branches draped toward the pavement. A black human shaped lump set aside from the cars. Then a boy, as blackly shaded and shapeless, standing alone in the corner.

Axsher got up and started walking to him but paused halfway unsure if he wanted to be hugged, touched, or anything else, ''What do you mean you found him? Found who?" His question was soft, like he was talking to a finicky deer. Walking a little further he paused again and rubbed the back of his neck. Seeing part of the drawing his eyes widened. "Do you want to talk about it?" He all but whispered.

Kai finished his drawing with a few measured scribbles with the side of the pencil lead. He pushed the drawing in front of Axsher. He didn't talk to others. He didn't talk about this. "Him," Kai said. "The dead body." The him didn't have a name, or any that Kai ever asked about, but he was the first to find him and he stood and stared for hours, frozen, until some adults came along. Even then, Kai was already showing signs of being different from everyone else and took to wandering alone at night. Pulling a new piece of paper to where he sat on the floor, Kai started another drawing of the same scene.

Axsher didn't know what to say or do. "So you stumbled upon him?" He asked curiously as he slowly wlked towards Kai. Stopping beside him Axsher watched him draw the same scene, "That sounds very traumatic. I'm sorry you had to go through that." Looking at the drawing he put a hand on Kai's shoulder, "I don't want to eat meat around you if it has the same smell...
it would be rude to." He sighed unsure what to do.

Kai shrugged one shoulder, pausing in his drawing for a few long seconds. "I just looked at him. That's all." He never knew exactly how he felt about it all, except that he could never forget the event. He finally put down his pencil and wrapped his arms around Axsher. "It's okay though."