So, on Halloween night, my boyfriend (Alex), and I walked to my friend Miranda’s house. She was having a bad day due to a toothache and probably other drama, so I decided I was going to invite her on a trip for trick-or-treating with us. She freshens up and comes out with us.
Our first predicament; our friend, Eddie, ran into us when we were walking around the neighborhood. Miranda asks for a hug and he declines with this reasoning, ‘You’re a whore.’ I thought he was just kidding and he’d soon give her a hug and whatnot. He doesn’t, and Miranda starts freaking out at him asking how she might be a whore, etc. I try to have them drop it and suggest that we walk and talk. Eddie splits up from us, and Miranda keeps continuously ranting about what Eddie called her, while Alex and I tried telling her to not let it ruin her night. Later that night, she texts me saying I’m a bad friend (not exactly like that, though) because I didn’t stick up for her. I explain to her that I thought he was kidding and I tried to stop it by suggesting to walk away, because I didn’t want any drama involved with my good, clean Halloween night.
The second issue was when I ‘ditched’ her. We were still in her neighborhood, and she called her mom to pick her up at her friend Nancy’s house. Alex and I didn’t want to interrupt her conversation with Nancy, so we didn’t bother saying goodbye. I understand why she thought I ditched her and why she’d be upset about that, but I did explain why I didn’t say goodbye, and thought we’d be fine after that.
It is now Tuesday, and she’s still mad at me about Halloween. Do tell me, am I entirely in the wrong, here?

I don't think your in the wrong. It sounds to me like your friend Miranda might be a bit of a drama queen. It was very thoughtful of you to invite her out, and how were you supposed to know that Eddie wasn't joking. You did the right thing by trying to get them to drop it and continue walking. Maybe you could have told him to shut his mouth, but you did what you thought was right to do at the time, your only human you know. And maybe you should have told her goodbye, but again, you were only being thoughtful when you didn't want to interrupt her, it wasn't like you ran off and left her all alone. It sounds to me like she has some issues of her own if she is going to be mad at you for any of that stuff, and then continue to grudge on you for it. Just let her have some space and maybe she will come to her senses. Otherwise, just hold your ground, don't let her push you around. Let her know you did what you thought was the right thing to do at the time, and if she can't accept that as your friend, maybe you shouldn't be friends. I hope everything works out, good luck!

ahill787; Minutes ago, I went to lunch and she and I usually sit at the table together. She has informed me we're no longer friends over the issue. -.- Just the other day, her friend died and I was there crying with her and getting her to actually smile, unlike some others who didn't acknowledge her existence, and she said how important I was to her. Now she's ending our friendship over something absolutely ridiculous.

This sounds like some basic high school drama, not to be insulting. The girl seems to be a bit dramatic and over sensitive, which is sadly an issue that occurs with a lot of people, and it's hard to deal with sometimes, especially when you're the friend. It's like treading on ice, you have to go slowly and carefully. I don't think you were entirely wrong, but you need to get this girl to see that everything was merely a misunderstanding. I would continuously attempt to talk to the girl, showing you do want to rekindle the friendship. Also, even if you are right, sometimes saying you're wrong will cease the argument. apologize profusely, continue to do so, and maybe she will come around. If she doesn't though, perhaps she's just not mature enough to be real friends with you.

SaetonChapelle; I appreciate your input, and I'm not insulted at all about the 'high school drama' comment. I agree with you entirely. Both you and ahill787 are matching my thoughts almost entirely, though I don't think I should apologize if I really didn't do anything wrong, especially since I've tried explaining to her the misunderstanding. Though, if things do get out of hand, I'll end up apologizing to an extent.

Your friend seems to be a bit of a dram queen. She acts a lot like some people i've seen who are also drama queens/kings. Some people who act that way want all the attention and usually try to put guilt trips on people. Its rather annoying and i don't even know if they do it on purpose, but just give her some time. You deserve to have a drama free halloween and nobody really has the right to ruin it for you if you choose not to get involved with that sort of thing. You did what you could and tried to help. If she wants to be grumpy about it then let her. She should cool down and things will go back to normal.

Alexial_Rose; I really appreciate your words of wisdom. I know exactly what you're talking about when you say they want all of the attention. *sigh*

I'm going to go ahead and move this over to the Life Issues Forum. :)

I'm somewhat new to Menewsha, so I apologize for not putting this in the right forum.

Your friend needs to know you actually care. I mean yea she is really wrong, but when i was like five i had a best friend who i would come over and play, her mom would make lunch and i would start to pack my stuff, she would say she hated me. Well, i am a very emotional person, so i packed my things and ran across the street. The next day she would be, ever loyally, at my door, asking my mom if i could play. I'm not sure if this helps, >-<* but i hope it shows you that even if they say they hate you they will come back soon.

Here's my input -

Your so-called "friend" was having a bad night. You and your boyfriend invited her to come have some fun with you, maybe make her feel a little better. When Eddie called her a whore, you did the right thing, although despite the fact you thought he was joking at first you still probably should have told him it was wrong to say that. Then you were trying to be polite and not disturb her conversation, and slipped away quietly. Again, you were right, but you still should have tapped her on the shoulder and gestured that you were leaving or maybe even broken into her conversation for a minute and said "Hey, I'm gonna head out, ok?".

But what gets me is that she has completely ditched what sounds like a pretty good/tight friendship (based on what you said about the friend dying) over such petty things. Granted, you should apologize for the whore thing, and explain again that you didn't mean to "ditch" her, you just didn't want to interrupt her conversation. But if she thinks you're so horrible after two such small bumps in a friendship, maybe you need to re-evaluate if it was ever really a friendship at all, since she dropped the second you weren't perfectly hunky-dory with her.

that sounds like it was not fun.

I think your "friend", because of all of the drama happening in her life flipped out.

I also think that because she seems to want a "perfect" friend that maybe you and her aren't the bestest buds.

Originally Posted by LustyScoundrel

So, on Halloween night, my boyfriend (Alex), and I walked to my friend Miranda’s house. She was having a bad day due to a toothache and probably other drama, so I decided I was going to invite her on a trip for trick-or-treating with us. She freshens up and comes out with us.
Our first predicament; our friend, Eddie, ran into us when we were walking around the neighborhood. Miranda asks for a hug and he declines with this reasoning, ‘You’re a whore.’ I thought he was just kidding and he’d soon give her a hug and whatnot. He doesn’t, and Miranda starts freaking out at him asking how she might be a whore, etc. I try to have them drop it and suggest that we walk and talk. Eddie splits up from us, and Miranda keeps continuously ranting about what Eddie called her, while Alex and I tried telling her to not let it ruin her night. Later that night, she texts me saying I’m a bad friend (not exactly like that, though) because I didn’t stick up for her. I explain to her that I thought he was kidding and I tried to stop it by suggesting to walk away, because I didn’t want any drama involved with my good, clean Halloween night.
The second issue was when I ‘ditched’ her. We were still in her neighborhood, and she called her mom to pick her up at her friend Nancy’s house. Alex and I didn’t want to interrupt her conversation with Nancy, so we didn’t bother saying goodbye. I understand why she thought I ditched her and why she’d be upset about that, but I did explain why I didn’t say goodbye, and thought we’d be fine after that.
It is now Tuesday, and she’s still mad at me about Halloween. Do tell me, am I entirely in the wrong, here?

In my eyes, I don't think you were in the wrong. And if you were, you didn't mean to be. And I think that's a very important thing to realize. And i hope your friend Miranda figures that out. Sometimes it's not about right or wrong, it's about intent. You didn't stop Eddie because you didn't think he was serious. Therefore, stopping him wasn't required. I'm not very clear on the ditching thing(the wording of it confuses me). But the point is you left without saying good bye because you were trying to be polite and not interrupt her conversation. So, hopefully with time and patience your friend will figure that out. But Good Luck anywayz!!!

Lady_Xanthe; I appreciate the story about you and your friend. I think it really does relate to what is going on although it happened when you were much younger. Girls don't seem to change much over the years, I suppose.

*Thoughtful Quill*; I see where you're coming from, *Thoughtful Quill*. I did make a few mistakes and for those I did plan on apologizing, but I don't plan on going out of my way for her any longer. Lately, it seems to me like no one is quite appreciating the things I've been doing for them.

deweyduquesne; Thank you very much for your perspective. I apologize for the confusion with my writing, but I appreciate you evaluating the sitatution, anyway.

Thank you everyone for your replies and votes!

I don't think you are in the wrong.
Your not a mind reader and know what everyone's motivations are. Nor are you responsible for 'defending' her. She's a big girl, she has the ability to stand up for herself.
As for leaving her, maybe you could have hand signled that you were going. But hey she was stay so her mom could pick her up. It wasn't like she was going to continue on with you and you left her.
So relax. breath. you're not a terrible friend. she's just insecure and frustrated right now probably about some tht happened before the evening started and you were just a convinent person to lash out at.
Let her calm down and become rational again. Maybe she'll come around. If she doesn't... then maybe your friendship wasn't as equal as it should have been. Nobody deserves to be used as an emotional punching bag. So just step away and let her calm down.
Good luck, wishing you the best.

kaperap; Right! Amen for the 'She's a big girl' comment, Lol.

So everyone!, Miranda has decided to officially end it. Frankly, I'm not losing any sleep over it, because I don't know what's going on in her crazy little brain, so I don't really care. <3 Thank you, everyone for the perspective. <3

It doesn't seem to me like you did anything wrong. More like, that she was having a bad day and/or may be naturally inclined to overreact (hard to say, since I don't know the girl).

You explained to her your side of the story, and I, personally, would say that your reactions/actions were perfectly reasonable. If she's reacting this poorly, despite your telling her how you felt and whatnot, then it's really all on her.

When my own friends behaved this way, I would typically just let them alone for a bit of time. Either she'll eventually cool down and recognize that she overreacted and was misplacing her anger on you, or signs point towards her needing to grow up a bit (no offense to her or anything, of course; I'm not trying to sound mean), and that maybe you should consider finding a new friend instead, depending on the general situation of your relationship with her and all.

I don't keep too many friends for reasons like these. I can count on one hand the people I'd actually call 'friend', because I'm the sort of person who will only take so much childish, dramatic behavior before it's just too much trouble for myself. Sometimes it's better for your own emotional health just to let them be and see if they'll come out of it.

Thank you, EatTheirOwn, for your input. She does tend to overreact, and I wish she would swallow her pride and read what everyone has been saying about her. I don't want to make her mad, I just want her to see how much of a mistake she's making. As I was explaining my side to the story, with every explanation I gave, she'd give me another scenario to explain, and branch off to another topic that makes her mad. -.- It makes me wonder, if I've been such a bother to her for so long, why has she put up with it?