This morning, my fiance broke things off. She said things just didn't feel right. I understand, but it's still killing me. I miss her like crazy, and the real killer is that the last time I felt this way she was the friend I talked to about it. She made me feel better, and a few weeks later she asked me out. I hesitated. And now I just don't know what to do. I'm dying inside.

I just want to know who I'm supposed to go to this time. Who is going to fix this kind of hurt? Counselors always say to just let go, and I have for the most part, but I don't have anyone to go to about this this time.

I'm scared. I'm incredibly scared. She's the one who made things better last time.

One of my friends offered to "fix me up" with one of her friends. Not for anything real. She thought the woman might like to cheer me up.

I want something real. I want a girl who will make me want to be a better person, and feel like I can be. That's who my fiance was for around half a year. I feel sick without her.

Of course it's going to hurt, but forcing her to be in a relationship she doesn't want to be in will hurt her too.
Just hope that she's happy and pray for the best for her.
If she's happy, you should be happy for her.

But yeah, again, it's gonna suck for a while for you. Time heals wonderfully. For now try and keep busy and keep moving.

:( That's really the best I can offer, losing someone you love in any form, hurts.

I'm just beginning to believe there's not going to be anyone out there for me. It doesn't seem to matter how similar I am to someone. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, or agree to do, or... anything.

Originally Posted by sarofset

I'm just beginning to believe there's not going to be anyone out there for me. It doesn't seem to matter how similar I am to someone. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, or agree to do, or... anything.

From this, and your past problems which you've posted about, I can't help but feel like maybe you're approaching your relationships in a poor mindset. I know you're in despair right now, but what you just said is revealing. Relationships aren't about how much you give, or how much you get. Relationships aren't about how similar or dissimilar you are to someone else.

I'm going to give you some advice, which I believe in wholeheartedly. Before you can stand beside someone else, you have to stand by yourself. You need to pick yourself up and balance on your own two feet - emotionally and mentally.

A huge proportion of relationships which I've encountered fail because one or both of the people involved are insecure and unstable. They can't depend on each other because they can't even depend on themselves.

Learn to depend on yourself, treat your problems with your self-esteem or any other issues you may have, and then try again. Be ready to climb the mountain before you make the journey to the foot.

And if you don't find someone, you'll always have yourself.

Originally Posted by sarofset

I'm just beginning to believe there's not going to be anyone out there for me. It doesn't seem to matter how similar I am to someone. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, or agree to do, or... anything.

I don't think relationships work because of how alike people are to each other, but simply because the timing and the way they met and treat each other just mesh.

Also; confidence is attractive. Be confident in yourself, and others will see you in a good light.

I also have to say I agree with Lorika, you can't be in a happy healthy relationship if you rely so completely on someone else for your emotional well-being.

I didn't depend on her for my emotional well being, and I'm not broken when I'm alone, I just don't like it. I hate being single like you might hate reading a certain genre of books, or watching a certain tv show. It bugs me. If I just wanted companionship I could get it. I'm attractive, smart, funny, and I know enough about behavioral psyche to pick out someone who would be easy to make fall for me. But again, that's not what I want.

I want to find "the one."

And this morning I'm fricking determined. *determined look*
I'm going to find someone, and I'm not going to worry about it not happening anymore, because it will. I've decided that and anyone who says otherwise can bite me. I'm going to concentrate on school until summer, and then I'm getting a job, and it's not going to be a boring soul sucking death job. Oh no. It's gonna be fun, and I'm going to love it, and I'm going to miss it a bit when I go back to school.
And all of that is going to happen, because the last two or three years have been complete shit for me, and the universe needs to balance itself out now.

This issue is now resolved. :) Thank you for the advice.