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chihiro
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#1
Old 07-03-2012, 06:38 AM

hey guys!! this thread was inspired by, you guessed it, my need for some advice. i didn't see anywhere to ask for peoples' thoughts and experiences, so i decided to create my own. The Advice Corner is a place for those who want to discuss their frustrations. here you can ask for other members of the Menewsha Nation for their opinions, advice, and constructive commentary on your problems. but, let me also clarify that if you just need a place to vent/a shoulder to learn on, that is okay too. if you do not want advice on your problem, please state that at the end of your post.

okay! well, as the first person here i guess it's my turn to go first. i feel like such a freak for being the one want to discuss my personal life and boyfriend problems, i know that is unbelievably cliché, but i have become that person T.T

i have not been in a lot of relationships in my lifetime, most of them being 3 months maximum [i am 25] so i am not really 100% sure if my thoughts and concerns are normal or unreasonable. before i tell you what is bothering me though, i should give a bit of background. i live in South Korea. i am a Black American, and my boyfriend is Korean. we have been together for 3 months in a long distance relationship, and things have been going really well. he has met my friends and i have met his, and he has always made in clear in his words and actions he is very serious about our relationship. we live at opposite ends of the country but we see each other anywhere between every week to once a month. i am not his first foreign gf, and he is my 2nd bf i've had since living here [over 2 yrs]. okay, so here is my problem:

i have not heard from my boyfriend in a week. in South Korea, i know many foreign girls who have been broken up with by a Korean guy just not talking to them at all [might be culturally related or stemming from the fact that foreign chicks are not likely to be seen again/stay in the country forever so the guys don't worry about seeing us again or being in the same social circles]. i was very cautious at first with him as i was scared of this happening to me, but once when i voiced this concern he was offended i would think he was capable of doing something like that. he is very softspoken and sweet, and seems to enjoy helping me with anything and doting on me. well, he got a big job offer 2 weeks ago, and left for a job training retreat [they flew them all to an island off the coast of Korea . . . . whaaaaa??] for 2 weeks. the first few days he was there he texted me on his phone or on skype, but i haven't heard from him in a week now.

i am pretty sure it is because he is super busy [i think many big Korean companies are a little crazy with regards to how they treat their employees], but as long as there is no emergency, i think there are not many excuses he can have for not calling his girlfriend or sending a message via skype/text/kakao talk/e-mail for over a week. he could have at least told me he would be m.i.a. for a while, and i would have understood and given him his space for a while to handle his business. because i think he is just being careless or overestimating my laidback-ness [he had a girlfriend who lived in China for 3 yrs, whom he met once a year in person . . .] i doubt i am going to break up with him when he does contact me after his training. i am more concerned with what i should say, how to react, and what to do when he does contact me.

what do you think should i do?


hummy
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#2
Old 07-03-2012, 09:50 PM



if you know any of his friends to ask,
i would go that route first.
think positive!
maybe he forgot his phone charger,
or is way to busy to have free time.
i hope you get a text from him soon.

good luck!

chihiro
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#3
Old 07-12-2012, 02:28 AM

thank you hummy!!! it was very kind of you to respond. i am not in contact with any of his friends, just one but i didn't have his number and we are not facebook friends. i did finally talk to him, and he broke his phone and was too dense to e-mail me. i don't think he contacted his fam either cuz he didn't think anyone would worry or anything. ugh, i guess i have my hands full with this one . . .

but he was apologetic and said he will never do that again, and next time he will let me know everything is okay. he also is at a different training for the next 3 weeks from 6am to 11:30pm in a remote location so the fun is not gonna stop anytime soon.

do you have any frustrations or annoyances to share hummy?

or does anyone else want to vent about something? The Advice Corner door is always open^^

hummy
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#4
Old 07-14-2012, 06:05 AM


i'm so happy he did get in touch with you.
i hope his training goes well and you can see each other soon.

i'm doing okay.
*knock on wood*

how are you liking menewsha?

 



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