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hanahaki disease
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#1
Old 05-02-2017, 06:13 AM

I know this is supposed to be a place to record happy memories. But I don't think I'm always going to write about happy stuff, so.
Anyway, feel free to chat with me.

hanahaki disease
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#2
Old 05-02-2017, 06:23 AM

OK, so. Rant time.

I've been suffering from IBS for 3 years now. I'm in a student hostel and along with the horrible public bathrooms and lack of control over food, there's the fact that the illness interferes with my ability to do work. And there is A LOT of work. Also it often makes me late for class, which I hate.

The past couple of weeks it worsened to the point that I missed three morning classes completely. Mornings are a particularly bad time. And I had a presentation to give today with a group, so class was beginning half an hour early to accommodate enough time for all the presentations.

So I knew there was no way I could make it half an hour early, leave alone on time, so I emailed my instructor to request her to call my group's slot after 10 A.M. (Class was beginning at 8:30, but I didn't think I could make it till 10 because for many days past I was continuously running to the bathroom till 10.) She was very understanding and agreed- effectively she was agreeing to let me miss most of class and therefore others' presentations, which we're not supposed to do, so it was really understanding of her.

At around 9:40 I had to go to the bathroom again, and one of my classmates came all the way to the fourth floor of the dorm, where I'm housed, and called for me. She said the instructor had tried calling me but I hadn't picked up. I told her, obviously, my phone was in my room while I was here. After I was done I went to my room and saw 3 missed calls. I felt terrible for putting the instructor through this trouble.

I rushed to class without even putting on deo or brushing my hair, because there wasn't any time. And during my presentation I literally STAMMERED EVERY SENTENCE. Every. Single. Sentence. It was terrible. I knew the instructor knew I wasn't well. But the rest of the class didn't. In their eyes, I was late, and I was stammering, and- well I shouldn't care what they think, but I just want to be normal. I want to be able to do as much work as they are. I want to not have to stress every day about how I'm going to get to class and do what's demanded of me with my body being the way it is.

 


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