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monstahh`
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#51
Old 11-02-2017, 04:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiviInLove View Post
My kids always come first. And my kids are my life. I would never put anything before them. I’m not one of those mothers who lets her kids fend for themselves. And neither is my husband.

I guess I felt kind of hurt when you just go “so try sticking around.”
I wish I could but I can’t.
Real life takes over more than it used to.
I can’t just drop everything and get on as much as I used to in the past.
I’m doing my best and I’m sorry if I’m not around as much as you would want me to be.
Oh I didn't mean to be all, 'neglect your real life for mene!! '
i more meant it as, we want to see you, so when you can say hi :D

I'm sorry if that came out too pushy. :<

hummy
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#52
Old 11-02-2017, 04:52 PM


You are a wonderful momma!
We will look forward to seeing
You when you can pop on, Livi

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#53
Old 11-02-2017, 06:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by monstahh` View Post
Oh I didn't mean to be all, 'neglect your real life for mene!! '
i more meant it as, we want to see you, so when you can say hi :D

I'm sorry if that came out too pushy. :<
My real life always comes before Mene. That's how it's been since the beginning.

I do my best to get on as much as I can, which isn't nearly enough it seems. *shrugs*

Sorry, I'm feeling kind of down (nothing at all due to this, it's other things dragging me down - see my note below), so it's making me react negatively to things I usually wouldn't react badly to. :/

Quote:
Originally Posted by hummy View Post

You are a wonderful momma!
We will look forward to seeing
You when you can pop on, Livi
Thank you hummy. I do my best, I just feel like sometimes my best isn't enough. :(

(Doesn't help that it's the blah time of the year -- it's the month that we lost him. 11 years this year. :( So I'm not really at my best, mentally and emotionally.)

monstahh`
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#54
Old 11-02-2017, 06:06 PM

-big hugs for Liv-


Life is rough, but you've made it this far!
Be proud of yourself!

hummy
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#55
Old 11-02-2017, 06:07 PM


I remember. And that's why I said I was so proud of you. I like when you remember the good times. I'm sure that's exactly what he wants you to do.

LiviInLove
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#56
Old 11-02-2017, 06:07 PM

Life sure is rough, and you never know what that next twist or turn will hold.

---------- Post added 11-02-2017 at 11:09 AM ----------

He'd Gibbs head slap me if he knew that it still made me this sad. He'd want me to throw a big party and celebrate him, rather than be sad. But sometimes it's just hard to celebrate and be happy for the time that I did get with him.

I'll get through it, I have managed to survive November, the last 10 years.

hummy
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#57
Old 11-02-2017, 06:09 PM


That is so true I never would have guessed all your twists and turns

LiviInLove
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#58
Old 11-02-2017, 06:09 PM

Oh I wouldn't have ever guessed them either. And if someone told me what would happen - if someone had that ability - I wouldn't have believed them.

hummy
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#59
Old 11-02-2017, 06:11 PM


I wish for more UPS than Downs

LiviInLove
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#60
Old 11-02-2017, 06:11 PM

It's been a giant ball of sadness, and joy, and happiness, and tears, and every other emotion ever. It's definitely been a wild a bumpy ride, at times.

---------- Post added 11-02-2017 at 11:11 AM ----------

I wish for that too. But who knows what life has in store for us. So much mystery!

hummy
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#61
Old 11-02-2017, 06:12 PM


If you could know would you want to know?

LiviInLove
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#62
Old 11-02-2017, 06:14 PM

Honestly, I don't think I would. Through everything I've gone through - it's made me appreciate each day fully, because you never know if the next one will be coming. So celebrate each day as it is, and just live in the present.

hummy
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#63
Old 11-02-2017, 06:16 PM


I don't think I would either. I'd spend too much time worrying about the bad things. And I worry about everything as it is now. I'd be debilitated.

LiviInLove
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#64
Old 11-02-2017, 06:17 PM

I totally get that worrying about everything. So many things can cause a derailment of one's mood and cause us to worry too much.

It'll all be okay.

hummy
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#65
Old 11-02-2017, 06:19 PM


For a long time I never knew that there are some people that don't worry about everything all the time. I mean my head doesn't even stop when I sleep.

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#66
Old 11-02-2017, 06:20 PM

I have trouble sleeping because I can't shut my head up. >.< Which makes those early morning wake up calls with the kids rather difficult.

hummy
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#67
Old 11-02-2017, 06:21 PM


It would be nice to just fall asleep with all that garbage going on wouldn't it

LiviInLove
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#68
Old 11-02-2017, 06:22 PM

It totally would.

There are nights when Alex tells me either try to sleep, or take part of one of your sleep aids, that I hate taking. xDD I will take them occasionally, but not often.

hummy
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#69
Old 11-02-2017, 06:23 PM


I don't like the way I feel when I use medication

LiviInLove
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#70
Old 11-02-2017, 06:24 PM

I'll take it if I have to, but it knocks me out - and if the kids need me, I don't like not being able to be there for them, even if Alex says he's okay taking over for the night shifts. I just feel bad because he works, and I stay home, so therefore I can take naps during the day if I need them (and if the kids let me).

monstahh`
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#71
Old 11-02-2017, 06:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiviInLove View Post
I have trouble sleeping because I can't shut my head up. >.< Which makes those early morning wake up calls with the kids rather difficult.
Have you considered it may be anxiety and an anxiolytic might help?
You should talk to your doctor about possibly taking benedryl before bed. :)

I'm on much stronger meds than that for my sleep, but, most people probably don't need the level of medication I'm on (I'm a fitful sleeper and sometimes wake up anxious for no reason type person).

hummy
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#72
Old 11-02-2017, 06:27 PM


I would say you have a pretty full-time job.

LiviInLove
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#73
Old 11-02-2017, 06:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by monstahh` View Post
Have you considered it may be anxiety and an anxiolytic might help?
You should talk to your doctor about possibly taking benedryl before bed. :)

I'm on much stronger meds than that for my sleep, but, most people probably don't need the level of medication I'm on (I'm a fitful sleeper and sometimes wake up anxious for no reason type person).
Oh it is anxiety, I already know that.

I don't like taking meds to sleep because if my kids need me in the middle of the night I need to be able to be alert and there for them and not in a medicated sleep where I won't be able to help them. Any and all meds - I've tried so many - make me feel so out of it, so I more or less just use my sleepless nights to clean and get chores done without little hands 'helping' and making things take longer.

---------- Post added 11-02-2017 at 11:29 AM ----------

hummy: Oh it definitely is a full time job -- one that I don't actually get a salary for.
And it's due to that job, that I don't get on as much.

monstahh`
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#74
Old 11-02-2017, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiviInLove View Post
Oh it is anxiety, I already know that.

I don't like taking meds to sleep because if my kids need me in the middle of the night I need to be able to be alert and there for them and not in a medicated sleep where I won't be able to help them. Any and all meds - I've tried so many - make me feel so out of it, so I more or less just use my sleepless nights to clean without little hands 'helping' and making things take longer.

---------- Post added 11-02-2017 at 11:29 AM ----------

hummy: Oh it definitely is a full time job -- one that I don't actually get a salary for.
And it's due to that job, that I don't get on as much.
Oh that sucks.
I wish I knew what to suggest. :(
I don't have the responsibility of having to deal with kids, just my cat
but my cat has given up trying to wake me up because I will just roll over and put the blanket over my head. >_>;; So I kinda know what you mean about being too sleepy

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#75
Old 11-02-2017, 06:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by monstahh` View Post
Oh that sucks.
I wish I knew what to suggest. :(
I don't have the responsibility of having to deal with kids, just my cat
but my cat has given up trying to wake me up because I will just roll over and put the blanket over my head. >_>;; So I kinda know what you mean about being too sleepy
I am not looking for suggestions - I just go day to day and I've made it this far... I was just saying why I don't take meds -- like I've previously said, my kids always come first.

Try being jumped on over and over again by a 6 year old if you don't get out of bed. >.< (she sometimes drags her middle sister into it as well, but my middle kiddo is more like me in the fact that she loves her sleep too.)
That's what my oldest does - she is such an early bird, just like her daddy.
I wish some mornings she'd give up trying to wake me up... (once in a blue moon my husband can distract her long enough to let me sleep in a little bit) but usually she'll keep jumping and poking me until I pull myself out of bed.
By her logic, if the sun is up, we all should be up.

 


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