MMMMKAY, So here's where I'll be putting my poems :vicky:

Feel free to offer constructive criticism,
but keep in mind the majority of poems put on here will be my old works that I've had to dig through all my files for ^^
Ayuuuup, hope you enjoy.

---------- Post added 06-30-2012 at 09:30 AM ----------

Feeling You

Feeling you
under my skin
makes me want to do
the things i shouldn't
with you

feeling the rain
makes me remember the days
where we used to recite love poems
back and forth
we would sing
verses of
the songs we heard
we would cry
we would sigh
we would feel
whole again

I just wish i could say
that i want you back my love
I just wish that I could say
You're my heart
again.

You are my holy
you are my sin
you're my religion
but that had to end.

In the reprise
Of the moonlight
maybe i can breathe
you in
again.
Let's make this work.

This was a love story,
now it's a monster
his is a chance kid
to hold on longer
This could be big
this could be it

i could now know
where we could have went
We could have tried
a little harder
we could have held
a little tighter

So now
I don't know
because i have grown
all to damn tired.

---------- Post added 06-30-2012 at 09:33 AM ----------

Backwards Logic

White powdered glamour secret snow zips right past your eyes directly into your brain, crawling over membranes and infecting you with flowing grace, the twitching convulsing beauty of this deception sugar makes us all into creatures but evolution occurs to those that use this for more then play, it is a tool. It turns you from organic being to chemical mechanika destruction machines. I am magic and science all in one run, one run along synapses and wavelengths, you breath with me through oceanic miles. Gargantuan and teeming with boy glitter liquids. Not only am i young, i am child again, filled with molten raw energy, bursting at the seams with this raw primal sexual thrust forward in time. We skip over the empty silent parts and go headlong into things so smooth they're cutting your elastic skin and you dont even realize because in your god state you are invincible, pain is better then pleasure, burn me with solid cancer and stab me with your statuesque fiberglass crystals. I stop time and the wind still blows, letting me know im still here, im still eternity bitch and im ready for the penetration of the atmosphere into every one of my pores. Substance is existance and for bettering ourselves in the negative manner. Floating down through the levels of jitterous aggitation, i can escape the let down of cereberal rape leaving my being by forcing the climax back into my mind and obsessing on it. I am the tentacle beast cyberized to feel the beat inside of your icy heart. I dont want warmth anymore i want you cold on the inside of my veins and eyelids, i want to get frostbite in the middle of my core for as long as i exist. It takes substance to raise epiphany and it takes epiphany for me to realize that isnt wrong. All is right, all is good, all is dark, and i am existence.

---------- Post added 06-30-2012 at 09:42 AM ----------

Skin

Peel the skin off my eyes so I'm constantly a doe in the headlights.
Peel the skin off of me so I can walk around exposed.
Peel the skin off my bones so my nerves can feel the wind.
Who wants to see me with no skin?
I am the carnival inside your head.

When you lay there late at night and you're just about to fall asleep, and those little flashes of girls with big smiles and no eyes flutter under your lids.
When you look away from one screen to the next and you notice the red lines.

I am your veins aching out at you because you force your blood through me.
Pull out my tongue so I cannot make myself a fool.
Pull out my heart so I cannot make myself a fool.
Pull out my brain so I cannot make myself a fool.
But you must leave me with my eyes so I can see the world cringing away from me.
Creatures are what we are.
Creatures we have always been.

I hate you so much sometimes I just want to pull on your outsides.
I want to pull on your insides until they slip through your skin.
Your bones support nothing like you used to think they did.

I'm running on air.
The fuel cuts down the quality of the parts as it's used.
But what else would we use?
If we couldn't use you?
Where would we be?
If we couldn't use me?

We aren't art.
All we ever are is clay.
Not even statues.

I've never been under someone else's finger nails.
I want to annoy and seep into lines inside.
I want to be at the edge of your vision like a sunspot.
I will always want to see you again.

Feeling You was the worst out of these, I could not distinguish rhythm in that one. ;c
However the other two definitely showed rhythm and were much better. I really, really adored Backwards Logic. And Skin was definitely gratifying. Why not try writing a new one and posting it for us? :3

This time I challenge you to a happy scene. Try to write something happy. ^_^

Originally Posted by Ana_M

Feeling You was the worst out of these, I could not distinguish rhythm in that one. ;c
However the other two definitely showed rhythm and were much better. I really, really adored Backwards Logic. And Skin was definitely gratifying. Why not try writing a new one and posting it for us? :3

This time I challenge you to a happy scene. Try to write something happy. ^_^

Sorry to say, but I disagree. It's probably because it's what I feel at the moment. I love 'Feeling You'. I love it because I know it's something I'd write about. I write about romantic, melancholy, and things I feel at the moment. I love this poem, because it comes from the heart. XD I hope you appreciate my feedback. XD