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Princess_Creep
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#1
Old 04-07-2012, 12:50 AM

Okay, so I'm sure that this isn't something that is strictly on Mene, but while browsing the group roleplays I saw a roleplay that had a rule that made me feel a little... odd. The rule was something along the lines of "male/female pairings only". Now, I can understand not wanting to do homosexual pairings yourself; some people aren't comfortable with that. But to say that no one in your roleplay can do homosexual romances... that seems boarderline homophobic to me. It made me feel really uncomfortable, but I know that it's not really against the rules to say that. I also know that if you make a roleplay you have the right to make whatever rules you want, but... I don't know. Does anyone else have an issue with rules like this? Also, anyone who has an issue with people doing homosexual pairings in your roleplay, why does it bother you? I am genuinely curious to know.
Other discussion: any other rules that seem a little off or make you uncomfortable, and why

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#2
Old 04-07-2012, 08:44 AM

Hm, it doesn't bother me at all. After all, it's their roleplay and they're the ones setting the rules. If they don't want homosexual relationships in their roleplay, it's their business. *shrugs* I know I've definitely seen ones where the owner wanted homosexual relationships only and no heterosexual ones in their roleplay before. If I don't like a rule, I simply don't bother joining.

The only one that does somewhat annoy me are the 'I am the supreme ruler/god/goddess of this RP. Obey me.' (etc.) listed in their 'rules' section. I tend to avoid those. But of course, that's just me. *shrug*

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#3
Old 04-07-2012, 12:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Antagonist View Post
The only one that does somewhat annoy me are the 'I am the supreme ruler/god/goddess of this RP. Obey me.' (etc.) listed in their 'rules' section. I tend to avoid those. But of course, that's just me. *shrug*

^This times a thousand.

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#4
Old 04-07-2012, 03:27 PM

I do that but only because people used to join my roleplays just to spam all the time, and I had an instance where someone pretended that I had made them a co-moderator of the roleplay and screwed everything up. But I can see how it would seem annoying.

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#5
Old 04-07-2012, 03:48 PM

^ ...I hope that had not been on Menewsha.

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#6
Old 04-07-2012, 04:19 PM

Mine are generally open ended....but I tend to prefere RPs not driven by romance anyways.

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#7
Old 04-07-2012, 04:29 PM

No, that wasn't on Mene... But I take precautions on all sites now.

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#8
Old 04-07-2012, 06:09 PM

I've seen it the opposite too though to be honest. I've seen only M/M pairings allowed or F/F pairings allowed. Some people are looking for certain tones and genres within their role play and romance plays a big part of it. I don't think they do it to be prejudiced. I don't think they are homophobic or heterophobic. It's just the tone and the story they have in mind for their role play.

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#9
Old 04-07-2012, 11:41 PM

I think in some cases that is different though. I would never make a group roleplay that is strictly for homosexual pairings, but has both male and female characters, but I think that on a small scale, one that's just male/male or female/female pairings is okay. I try to keep those restrictions out of my groups though.

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#10
Old 04-08-2012, 02:17 AM

I'm moving this over to the roleplay forum, so the entirety of that segment of the community can be exposed to it :)

Princess_Creep
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#11
Old 04-08-2012, 07:07 PM

Okay!

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#12
Old 04-08-2012, 10:40 PM

I would not say that it is homophobic anymore than if I said that I do not want incest in the story. I do not approve of it, but I do not go running in the opposite direction, screaming in fright -- homo (same) -phobic (fear) -- or in hatred. It may be something they simply do not care to entertain. I like realistic, too, so I do not mind male-male/female-female pairings as side persons, but not as my main. I do not prevent people from playing them either.

Still, I hope no one would say that only xx/xx and xy/xy means a phobia. This is not "The Last Man on Planet Earth" yet. ;) I am glad to see that others feel the same, rather than silenced because they disagree.

Thanks for bringing up the concern. Better to get everything out of the way for a better roleplaying experience.

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#13
Old 04-08-2012, 11:28 PM

I don't know that I would go so far as to say it's exactly homophobic in some way, but it's on the same spectrum.

And I am a little offended that you put same-sex pairings context as incest. I am not insinuating that you were lumping the two together, but there is a big difference. Chiefly: Incest is wrong and pretty gross, and being homosexual is perfectly natural and normal.

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#14
Old 04-09-2012, 03:40 AM

I think I would tend to avoid sexuality rules simply because they constrict characters. I prefer to be the one to determine my own character's preferences.

That's not limited at all. I just don't like roleplays with too many rules. A lot of times, things listed tend to be common sense.

"Dn't tlk lyk dys. If you do, I'll hurt you," is a turn off. I've never come across anyone who has done that and it feels almost as though whoever typed out the rules is either very, very anal or enjoys putting themselves in a position of superiority. As in, "Hey, I can type well! You can't! I will proceed to ridicule you rather than share what I know to help you advance because I'm not a caring person!"

Actually, it's a turn off whenever it's listed that "If you do this/can't do this get out of my face" and there's nothing obvious hinting at sarcasm.

Then there's the classic, "No Mary-Sues/Gary-Stus." Yes, I totally love making flat characters! I know every other roleplayer does... wait... you mean some people roleplay because they like character development?! WTF? Why? *sarcasm*

Just that people enjoy listing the obvious tends to annoy me. I won't always steer clear, but I won't necessarily be excited from the get go. Finding a list of rules longer than the description of the plot and setting is just plain wrong.

Now that I think of it though, I don't always mind reminders.
"Okeh gaiz. The setting is medieval Europe. Pls no astronauts."
In that case, putting constraints on characters is entirely fine. I just don't see when we'd ever come across an entirely homosexual/heterosexual world~

What I feel of that exact rule (sexuality rule) I really can't say. It's odd, to say the least. I cannot find a rational reason behind it (setting: gay bar... okay, I get that one) but in a regular game, it's just beyond me. It would be nice to find out the reason behind such rules. But, I like to live and let live. As long as I'm left to do as I please in peace, I'll grant everyone else the same courtesy.

Edit:// I thought of another thing that irks me. Have you ever been in a one-on-one in which your partner actually posts rules for you? I didn't think I came off as that incompetent.

Last edited by SirGollyGumDrop; 04-09-2012 at 03:44 AM.. Reason: additional complaint

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#15
Old 04-09-2012, 10:41 AM

I'm not sure how many bad experiences you've ran into, but I've ran into plenty of mine own regarding roleplay. Reminding people that you want them to have decent grammar skills and be able to actually make believable characters is in a similar context that a toaster warning tells you not to use the toaster in the bathtub. There are plenty of people in the world who just don't get it.

Those little rules and requests may not be towards you personally, but to the people who might think it's a good idea to put that toaster in the bathtub, for whatever reason. There are warnings and guides because someone out there doesn't get the obvious and they need to be reminded.

Now, if my partner and I had already decided to start roleplaying and they posted rules for me.. I would think that's a little odd and annoying. I thought we had established that we're compatible enough to roleplay with each other to give it a go in the first place.

I've actually had people make my character FOR me. We had decided to roleplay together and they just.. gave me a character. Name, personality, description and all. I've also had people tell me to change my character because theirs just couldn't fall in love with them.

As for the sexuality rule, I can't honestly find a good reason for it other than what SirGollyGumDrop already stated. A gay bar. Or they don't approve of homosexuality, so they don't want it in their roleplay.

The only thing that bothers me, regarding romance in roleplays, are the top and bottom positions. I've ran into so many people who wanted me to choose to be top/seme or bottom/uke. I'm not sure what the lesbian terms for this are, but I find it incredibly constraining to base your character around a master/slave sort of dominance. Of course this comes from the "yaoi" fandom. Being a gay man, I have my own.. annoyed views with the fandom and how they handle homosexual relationships. However, it doesn't hurt me personally, so I just tend to avoid people who want to roleplay with me based on those requirements.

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#16
Old 04-09-2012, 03:12 PM

Well with a group role-play, it might just get confusing to keep track of who is and who isn't okay with having their character paired with the same-sex. Having an only maleXfemale rule can get rid of a lot of confusion and keep any mix-ups away.

Also, what if personA decided that despite the rule, they wanted their character to fall for another of the same-sex? Knowing full well that it's not going to happen could make it seem appealing in the sort of "unattainable love" kind of way, meanwhile the personB is just uncomfortable with the types of posts that are being sent their way.

It's not necessarily a homophobic thing, I mean, I can't exactly speak for this person but I can fathom a reason for the rule. Who knows what people have done in the past? It could very well just be a safety precaution against more foolishness.

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#17
Old 04-09-2012, 04:05 PM

I don't mind the rules about no Gary-Stus and Mary-Sues...because I've seen so many characters that are exactly that. Certainly kills off my interest in the roleplay effectively enough. Though then again that rule doesn't really work because the roleplayer obviously doesn't think their characters are Mary-Sues or Gary-Stus...

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#18
Old 04-10-2012, 10:42 PM

I only really have issues when the OP lists off 25- and up, rules. It's like 'seriously? you want to be that specific?' or when people ask for literacy but don't give it themselves. Sometimes homo-sexual romance is what drives the nature of the plot, or hetero-sexual. *shrugs*

since I can rp both ways, I guess it doesn't bother me.

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#19
Old 04-11-2012, 06:07 AM

Honestly I wouldn't call it homophobic.homophobic means that you're scared, and that might not be the case.people say that someone is homophobic when that person outwardly disagrees with homosexuality, but just because they don't agree with it doesn't mean they're afraid of it.that little pet peeve aside, I do think it's rather prejudiced to say that no one can be homosexual in your roleplay.if you don't like it, don't read it.simple as that.I, personally, don't do m/m or f/f pairings, but I have no problem at all with other people doing it.as long as it doesn't go too far, it's absolutely fine with me, no different from hetero pairings.

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#20
Old 04-11-2012, 01:46 PM

The only true rule that gets on my nerves is when the Creator all but demands that you frequent the thread often or your character will get deleted. Or When you have a question about a certain rule, and they refuse to answer it because they believe you're dumb. I filed through alot of bad Rps.

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#21
Old 04-14-2012, 02:21 AM

I agree with the bottom/top thing. It's a little odd, even in yaoi pairings. No person is ever entirely dominant or submissive.

As far as having only malexfemale pairings so you can keep track, I don't think that's really necessary. You can just put a "sexuality" section in the skeleton, and then there's no confusion and people can still have characters of any sexuality.

And maybe homophobic is too strong of a term, but I think it goes beyond hetero-normative for sure. And what exactly do you mean by "get too far?" I think it's okay to have rules for or against sex in a roleplay, but you should never say that only heterosexual characters can have a physically intimate relationship in the roleplay. I don't know if that was what you meant, or maybe you just needed to word things a little differently. That was just what it seemed like to me.

And yeah, I also hate it when the creator acts like you're stupid when ask them to clarify a rule. It's just disrespectful and flat-out rude.

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#22
Old 04-14-2012, 03:31 PM

I think some of the "I am God" rules can probably be traced back to the "Golden Rule" of tabletop RPGs, which is included to remind people that the DM/GM/ST is the final arbiter of the rules and is meant to keep down rules lawyering.

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#23
Old 04-21-2012, 06:22 PM

Maybe this isn't a very good comparison...but the "no homosexual pairings" rule can kind of be the same as a "no black people", "no Jewish people", or a "no interacial marriage" rule...but I'll stop talking... I understand that homosexuality is still an iffy topic for some people...but many things once were. People being stereotyped happens because people seek to "separate" them. It doesn't have to be a big thing either. It can just be as simple as saying, "Oh, wow, that's so gay." (I've heard plenty of people say that, and they almost never get yelled at.) You even hear that on tv sometimes. It's subtle, and people don't necessarily mean to bring attention to any one group, but it does. ^^; I don't mean to offend anyone who likes that rule, that's just what I think.

The only thing that really annoys me is when the creator claims that you're not allowed to godmode...and yet they do it all the time. I've been in a couple RPs like that before. That or the people who make their characters the most angsty people ever. I just don't like having to read about them going, "No one will ever understand my pain!", constantly.

Last edited by VIEW FROM ABOVE; 04-21-2012 at 06:26 PM..

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#24
Old 04-21-2012, 06:54 PM

Yeah. I usually do the "No godmoding/Mary Sues" rule, and I try to adhere to that myself because I like to keep my characters realistic, but I have seen lot of people who seem to use that rule only as a way to make sure that their characters are better than everyone else's. That pisses me off probably more than anything else in roleplays.

I've also had a thing where I had a 1x1 with someone and then I made a group roleplay and they joined. Our characters had a romantic relationship in the roleplay and they automatically expected that our characters would develop a romance in the group roleplay, even though we both had different characters for this one. It was fine at first, but then they kept making their character hit on mine incessantly and kept sending me messages that were like "why do you make your character not like mine?" I eventually just got fed up and quit the roleplay.

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#25
Old 04-21-2012, 11:36 PM

And of course the people who do that usually tend to make their character have the one "important" role. I remember an RP I was in quite a while ago where the creator claimed she was a princess who had lost her throne. It seemed like a good RP at first, just a basic 'rebellion/restore the rightful heir' one. She ended up making the entire roleplay revolve only around her character though. Even when someone else would make up something sad (for example, their character's sister dying) she'd intervene and bring her situation up again and again.

Haha, I think they were coming on to you. ;) Or they were obsessed with you...in some creepy online way. Obsession is creepy...

 


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