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MusicEmo
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#1
Old 10-29-2016, 12:10 AM

I'm writing a novel with a Enemies-to-Lovers romance subplot, and I'm so worried about crossing the thin line of E-to-L and dating your abuser. Can anyone point me in the direction of some good resources? I've tried looking it up, and all I could find was websites basically advertising their own books, or saying "[x] book is a good book! Go read it!"

I've suffered emotional abuse by an ex so the last thing I want to do is normalize abuse, or worse romanticize abuse.

Kat Dakuu
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#2
Old 10-29-2016, 04:26 AM

I'm not sure there's really any wrong or right way to go about that. I'm sure people have written blogs listing out their opinions of how they think such a plot should be written, but what makes a good romance is pretty subjective anyway. I'd say go with your gut. If a part makes you feel really unsure, then cut it, and otherwise write what sounds right to you and let others beta it just in case. If you've got experience you should know best how not to cross that line into abuse and in the end, if you do offend someone, you know you had no intention of it and that counts. In the end, sometimes the only one you can ensure is happy with your writing is yourself.

MusicEmo
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#3
Old 10-29-2016, 05:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kat Dakuu View Post
If you've got experience you should know best how not to cross that line into abuse
I'm not sure if you've suffered abuse before, but that was a very insensitive, and rude, thing to say to someone who has. It took me several years of denial and self-hate to realize what happened to me, so no it's not as easy as "just look back at what happened to you, and don't write that!" On top of that there is a lot of different types of abuse, and abuse isn't "subjective" or about "offending someone". Just reading some blogs on "good romance" isn't going to make a good enemies to lovers romance.

I want to get this novel published, and I, under no circumstance, want it to become another Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey, that make abuse seem okay, or even desirable and "sexy".

mdom
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#4
Old 10-31-2016, 05:53 PM

Hm, I guess the key is how they are going to be enemies, and how that will be played out.
Like, is it a contemporary novel and they're enemies because they work at different places? Or they differ politically?
Or is it a fantasy novel and they're from different kingdoms? Maybe they get in a fight and both leave harmed (physically), but they're both warriors so they're not traumatized by that?
Or maybe they are enemies due to a misunderstanding (not sure if you're a fan of this particular plot device) and slowly they find out the truth.

 



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