I wrote a Shakespearean sonnet about half a year ago for my Literature class and I wanna know what others think of it :) All kinds of criticisms are welcomed

When I close my eyes to sleep, I see you
And it is under your gaze I wish to stay
I pray to God that this will become true
I will not embrace the oncoming day

I fear if I open my eyes, you'll go
You will vanish like the stars in the sky
I fear I will forget the way you glow
Or the way you always make my heart fly

Underneath this crying tree do we lay
Surrounded by lucky charms of bright green
Where all my worries and fears are at bay
Such serenity there has never been

When I awaken, you are laying here
I realise now there is nothing to fear

Beautiful! :D

Is it safe to say that I teared up by this?
Well I did, when reading this; I was thinking of someone special to me.
I think you did a wonderful job on your sonnet, it flowed quiet beautifully.

The tone and meaning is clear, which in my opinion sometimes is hard to put into words.

I thought this was beautiful, to be truthful. I thought it flowed very nicely. And it made me happy and made me smile because it made me think of my boyfriend. ^_^
I really enjoy poetry that makes me feel good, as I am unable to write pleasant poetry. My poetry is and always has been very dark material that I can only compose when I'm on an emotional high or low. :sweat: Pleasant poetry is just....so fresh. Its unknown territory for me, and I find it very enjoyable to read. As I said, your little poem flowed very well, and it is one of the better poems that I've read in a while. And as Rozalyne said, the meaning was clear and that isn't as easy to do as it looks.

i think the poem as a whole needs some work. the third stanzas perfect though.

I like the flow of it. The portrayal of the true meaning shines through.
You really capture the emotion, just try and capture it a bit more.
Be a bit more descriptive, you have to make the reader not only feel the emotion but make them picture it scene by scene.

Personally I like it. It is beautiful and I barely had any critique for it.