At some point Yuuta wandered out of the cottage. First he headed toward the one room cabin that he normally stayed in, but it was frozen over and occupied by his sister and the dark stranger. He wanted to speak with Fiaria about what Rayne had told him, but didn’t wish to interrupt whatever was going on in the cabin. The seer had made it clear that those two had things they needed to work out. Unsure of where else to go he headed to the lake. Once there he took a seat by the water, staring at the refection of the stars. Still he was unable to chase away the nightmares that haunted him as they continued to replay in his mind.

Things had grown rather quiet. Shiro wondered what was going on so he peeked out of his room. No one seemed to be around. The boy tiptoed into the kitchen to see his uncle tear stained face, looking almost petrified before the older Katayan got up and wandered off into the night. "Uncle Yuuta?" He called out, but his uncle didn't hear him. With a frown he followed after Yuuta, stopping halfway to the cabin. He wasn’t sure what to do, but he knew that Rayne would know. Worried the young boy made this way back inside the cottage.

Entering the kitchen he found Rayne rummaging around. “Auntie Luna, Yuuta is acting strange. He wandered off towards the lake. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” Shiro didn’t know what she was doing. Sniffing the air he frowned. “I smell blood. Are you hurt Auntie Luna?” It was clear the boy was worried as he moved closer to her. He felt so lost and confused by everything that was going on.

Ara'mis continued to gaze at Fiaria with the most unfiltered expression he'd ever worn. It was softer than his usual neutrality, but didn't carry heavy emotion. It was ... just a look. How strange that they'd gotten so used to the mask of lies.

"Borania," he said quietly, listening quietly. Fiaria's homeland. The assassin carefully leaned back in his chair, realizing now that there was no reason to feel so ... anxious. The worst was surely over. Hopefully. Ara'mis kept his gaze on Fiaria for a moment before slowly forcing himself to speak. "From what I've pieced together, your homeland was destroyed. Why would you return?" Apparently he didn't get the sentimental attachments to places - then again, he'd always hated his homeland.

There was a smile on Fiaria's lips as he muttered about being worried for her during her absence. Was it normal to feel that small bit of warmth in his chest when she looked at him like that? It hadn't happened before. Without being able to lie to himself about his own reactions, Ara'mis nearly felt lost. It got so much worse when her blue eyes met his. The Sithe felt some kind of emotion move through him as they held gazes, and was relieved when Fiaria finally looked away to think.

"Whatever we want to be." Ara'mis frowned, looking unsure of what to say in response. He had no term for what they were. It was strange, really, that they were actually something now. Their gazes met again. They'd been looking into one another's eyes more often that night than they had in years. Perhaps it was because they weren't trying to hide anything. If anything, they were trying to find solid ground to work from. They were reading one another, trying to judge their actions and words accordingly. Except Ara'mis had no filter on his words, so they just left his lips as thoughts.

"Mates," Ara'mis shifted slightly, looking uncomfortable. For a moment, he looked panicked. The male's gaze darted away, and he felt his pulse quicken. Ara'mis. It's time to stop running. He shifted again, then finally nodded, looking up at Fiaria with a forcibly calm expression - it was a terrible "lie" of an expression, as his fear and wariness shown right through it thanks to Rayne. He was obviously struggling with this "commitment," even if it was just a term. A term, though, usually was a name for something that was actually real - putting a name to what they were only proved that they were something. Ara'mis tried to keep himself calm. "A better term than most."

At first Fiaria didn’t answer the man’s question about why she had returned to her homeland. It would wait for now as other questions were brought up by Ara’mis. It seemed that her smile and gaze were making him uncomfortable again. Mentally she told herself not to look at him so much, but it was hard not to. It was strange for them to be this way. This might be the only time she had to let him know the truth, things she wanted him to know whether they stayed together or not.

The woman probably looked a little uncomfortable herself as they talked about what they were now. It was strange to think of them being attached somehow. They had always lived their lives separate only allowing themselves to cross paths from time to time. They were something now right?

She couldn’t remember the last time they had looked into each others eyes so much. Been able to read each other like this. Ara’mis spoke again before frowning. He was looking to her to have an answer, but Fiaria didn’t really have one herself until she came to the word mate. The term had a broad meaning and would possibly fit.

The fact that Ara’mis was uncomfortable caused her to frown slightly. This was all so complicated. “That it is. It’s a broad term that encompasses a variety of relationships.” She sighed, look at the floor. It was time to change the topic. The woman shifted, hugging herself slightly. Even though she didn’t want to Fiaria refocused the conversation back to her.

“So, you already knew about the fact my homeland had been destroyed. I’m not surprised actually. As for why I would return there. I suppose it was to find some peace and to have time to think.” Her blue eyes held sadness in them, not like the type he normally seen within them. “All that is left of Borania is ruins and skeletons of the fallen taken over by vegetation from late spring to early autumn and ice and snow from early autumn to late spring. A once peaceful village that was wiped out in less than twenty-four hours by humans.”

Subconsciously her hand slide up her arm until it rested on her shoulder, her fingertips touching where the edge of the large scar on her back would be. “That day still haunts me for many reasons. I was barely twelve at the time. Despite the strict training and rules that I had to live under things weren’t so bad. I knew what was expected of me. I was to become a strong leader for my people. Back then I never imagined my life would change so drastically in less than a day.” As Fiaria spoke she looked much younger, probably more like that scared child she had been when her world was turned upside down. She paused, taking a breath. “The human’s attacked with no warning. Normally humans wouldn’t be able to take out an entire village like that, but they came with anti-magic weapons and armor and a few strange new weapons. Their only reason for attacking was because they hated magic and any race that wasn’t human.”

Her eyes stared off across the room as if she was seeing something from another place or time. “I remember pleading with my father to let me stay and fight alongside the others. It was my duty as the next leader to help protect my people. He wouldn’t hear it and neither would Alemi. Alemi dragged me off as ordered, we were to travel south to the village of Het Hart.” Her nose wrinkled as she spoke the name of the Blaze Clan village name. “We didn’t make it far from the village before we ourselves were ambushed.” Fear shown in her eyes as she started to tremble, her breathing becoming more rapid. She could see it all happening before her eyes again, like it had that day. There was few moments of silences before she continued her story.

“Alemi fought the human that attacked him and the human pushed him back and caused him to trip over a log hidden by the snow.” The way she spoke Alemi’s name gave way that she had cared for this man. It was probably easy for Ara’mis to guess that he had been her first love. “That’s when I drew my own sword, taking on the human. Once he had gotten back to his feet he order me to run. I didn’t want to listen, but I made the mistake of doing as told. By the time that Alemi screamed my name it was too late. Another human had come out of hiding and slashed me across the back with his anti-magic weapon.” Her trembling had grown worse as she closed her eyes, letting the pain and coldness she remembered from that blow wash over her. “All I remember is Alemi’s cry, burning pain, my vision blurring then darkness as an unfamiliar cold washed over my body.”

“Before blacking out I think Alemi finished off the first two humans before he was attacked by many more. As I laid there dying Alemi must have protected me the best he could and before he died used his magic to heal me enough so that I would live. I don’t really know.” Tears were now streaming down Fiaria’s face. She resembled a lost and broken child. Apparently she would still have to work towards coming to terms with what happened that day. “It was many hours later when I awoke in the snow to find my fallen friend by my side. Unsure of what to do I forced my beaten and broken body to carry me back to the village only for find it littered with corpses. Everyone was gone. Everything destroyed. After that I vowed revenge against the humans that had taken everything away from me. Instead of going to Het Hart, I live on my own and became the woman that you met Ara.”

A grim smile appeared on her lips. “I’m nothing like the woman that my people seen me as, thought I would become. I’m no leader…I’m nothing, but a murderer and coward.” She gave a weak laugh. Even with the visions she had seen gone and her story of that fateful day over she couldn’t stop her body from trembling from the memories of losing everything. Something she feared would happen again if she ever did try to regain any of it.

Rayne rubbed at her face even more, finally finding everything she needed before she began to crush them into a cup of water. Mixing it up before drinking it all in one gulp, as if it was a shot of whiskey, she coughed and spit a bit , the flavor was disgusting, kind of like grass and dirt with something else that you did not even want to think of what it could be.

Rayne jumped slightly, causing her glass to fall over as she placed a hand over her heart, letting out a relieved breathe. "shiro....I thought you were sleeping." she gave a small awkward laugh, smiling softly down at him before nuzzling her injured cheek against his. "Yuuta...he has a lot to think about, love. I think that you should give him sometime to think." she said to him gently as she scratched his ears, for some reason she needed to cling to him.

"Remember when I told you that everyone has done bad things in their life. That sometimes it could have been an accident but it is still bad none the less." she more or less asked him, smiling softly as she looked down at him lovingly, taking a slow deep breathe. She had not even answered him when he asked if she was hurt, having forgotten the pain or that she had even done it as the medicine she made took effect on her body. It was a strong concoction that made her feel, for lack of a better word, high and drunk but without the side effects.

"Well I want you to know that those bad things that people do or tend to cause.....they come back to bite them in the butt." she gave a dry laugh as she rubbed her injured cheek once more, making it worse. "ah...what I mean is that I have done a lot of bad things, shiro. One of those was to your mom and uncle, but if I had not done that bad thing you would never be here. So you see your uncle found out the bad thing I had done to them in the past." her voice cracked as her eyes started to tear up, she clung to the young katayan not wanting to let him go for the moment as she cried into the top of his head.

"I want you to know that I love you, and that I never I tended to hArm your family but you can not tell them about any of this okay. For this week I will be going on a long journey to face all the bad things I have done." she mumbled as she nuzzles the top of his head, finally managing to hold back her tears as she sniffled and cleaned her face off.

The boy shook his head. “No, I was waiting for mother to come to my room. I guess she’s not going to.” He gave a small pout as Rayne nuzzled her cheek against his. Shiro leaned his head into her hand when she scratched his ears. “Alright, if you say so Auntie Luna.” Looking up at her he gave a weak smile, still confused about what all was going on. Wasn’t today supposed to be a happy day? Instead it seemed like almost everyone was drifting apart.

“Yes,” he nodded. Noticing her injured cheek and that she was making it worse he frowned. The boy placed his hand lightly over the cut and healed it with his powers. “But you didn’t mean to do it. So they shouldn’t be mad at you. It just happened right? Also because of what happened it allowed me to be here so that means it couldn’t have been that bad. Mother and Uncle Yuuta will understand.” Shiro’s innocence and honesty about what he believed shone bright as he tried to comfort his aunt.

The boy let the woman cling to him, purring lightly. His arms wrapped around her as she cried. He wasn’t sure what all was going on, but they were going to be ok, weren’t they? “I love you too Auntie Luna. We all know that, but why can’t I tell them? They will understand and everything will be ok.” The young Katayan sounds so sure. In fact he was positive that things would be ok. Hiding things wasn’t going to help because that hurts more. At least that is what he thought after how he didn’t think he had a mother until a month ago.

Pouting a bit he mumbled. “Don’t leave us Auntie Luna. It’ll make Uncle Yuuta really sad and mother too.”

((Aww, she's mentally chiding herself for looking at him too often. xD Aww. haha))

Ara'mis slowly took a breath, trying to keep his expression calm. This all felt so strange. He was ... dying of curiosity. How could he contain himself at a time like this? Yet, he felt so uncomfortable with the feelings that rose within him. The assassin shifted in his chair, trying to choose one mental reaction instead of skipping from one to the other. Ara'mis finally chose to focus on Fiaria's voice. They both looked so uncomfortable....

The dark-haired male listened in uncomfortable silence as Fiaria began to speak of her homeland. Her past... was different. Ara'mis finally gave in to the temptation to lift his gaze and look at the woman. Borania was destroyed by humans. Ara'mis' gaze flickered to how Fiaria's fingers brushed the familiar scar. Then... he learned of her past.

Ara'mis couldn't filter the interested expression off of his face. His green eyes lingered on Fiaria as she told him of her childhood, of Alemi, of her village ... her history was laid before him. She was so young in that moment, much as Ara'mis had been when recalling long denied memories. The assassin shifted uncomfortably as he heard of Fiaria's destroyed home and family. She'd lost everything. Her pain wasn't like his, but ... both were the worst feelings imaginable. He'd never had a true family. She'd had hers torn away from her.

As Fiaria began to pause, having a hard time speaking of the next events, Ara'mis kept his gaze on her. There was sympathy there - something he'd never shown to the woman before. Alemi. He'd been important to her. Instead of jealousy, Ara'mis found himself feeling sorrow. She's lost so much.

He could see her trembling. Ara'mis pondered offering comfort, but wasn't quite sure how. He stayed in his chair.

"After that, you tracked the humans." He nodded in understanding, not sure what else to say. It was how they'd met. And he'd helped her take care of the man she'd been after. Funny, how their paths met at such a time. Ara'mis tilted his head at Fiaria's weak laugh, and he offered a grim smile. He bit his tongue instead of saying what nearly flowed from his lips. That's the problem with attachments. One day you lose them all, and you're worse off for having them in the first place.

The assassin lowered his gaze, his thoughts piecing this new story together. Now he knew. He knew of Fiaria's past, of her home and her people, and ... he felt strange. He'd come to terms with never knowing - if he didn't know Fiaria's past, he couldn't sympathize. It was a reason to keep her at a good distance. Now, though ... now there was a connection. Now he knew.

"Thank you." He didn't know what else to say. His curiosity was ... sated. At least temporarily. Ara'mis ran a hand through his hair, his gaze returning to Fiaria. What the hell were they supposed to do now? He frowned, and the assassin leaned back in his chair with a sigh. So much had been revealed. Too much. It was almost too much. Shouldn't this be one of his dreams? He'd wake up soon if so. Ara'mis knew without a doubt it wasn't, however. This was most definitely real.

Rayne smiled as she stroke his head, listening to him as she had a kind soft look upon her face. "I am sorry love. Today did not go as well as I had planned it. Just think about it though....she is home to be with you now. SHe just needs to finish tying some things up is all." she chuckled to him as she scratched behind his ears once more. She took a seat before tugging him to sit in her lap, nuzzling him.

She leaned her face into his hand as he healed her wound. "Thank you. I am sure they will understand but it will take them some time to forgive me." she smiled, his honesty and innocence is what she loved about him which was clear as she kissed the top of his head. Resting her cheek on his head.

"I do not want them to worry and I would like to tell them myself." she sniffled, drying her face of her tears, cuddling into him even more. "I know, Shiro. But just like how you missed your mom. I miss mine too. I need to go see her before it is to late." she let her bright blue eyes look out the window towards the backyard and the small cottage that sat there, wondering if Fiaria and Ara'mis were handling it all okay. Then she quickly shook them out of her thoughts as they could have been easily proving how much they love each other at that moment.

"I will come back." she hoped that he understood what she was telling him. She was not lying to him, she did plan to go and visit her mother but she had no plans at the present moment to come back as there was a far higher chance of her dying then there was of her coming back.

Fiaria had focused on what she seen before instead of Ara’mis almost the entire time she told her story. The look of sympathy that he gave her had managed to calm her a bit, but it was something she never had expected to see from him. Still kneeling in front of him she held herself tightly forcing her trembling to stop as he watched her.

She felt so drained from sharing her past. It was something she had never told anyone in full detail. Just like the scar she bore from that time it was something she took care in keeping mostly hidden. Hearing his voice somehow let her settle further.

A part of her had hoped that he would hug her or show her some other form of comfort or caring, but Ara’mis made no move. Not that it surprised her since she was well aware that he was unfamiliar with such actions.

This was all so real now, she knew part of his past and he knew part of hers. Her icy eyes looked up at him as she nodded to his words of thanks. With a soft sigh Fiaria shifted, resting her head on his lap, her trembling slowly fading. Where did they go from here? The woman had no clue.

Silence surrounded them once more. She just listened to them breathing, closing her eyes. After a while she peeked up at the man. As she stared at him, her thoughts drifted to Shiro. He looked similar to his father. Shiro was probably upset with her, but spending this time with Ara’mis was more important. “Is there anything else you would like to know Ara? Maybe about the young boy?”

As she mentioned their son love for Ara’mis and Shiro as well as pride shone in those icy orbs of hers momentarily before fading into guilt and sadness. She had been a terrible mother, giving her son away and letting him believe she was dead. Letting him think that a man who wasn’t even related to him was his father. She still was a terrible mother.

Turning her gaze Fiaria mumbled to herself. “I’m a horrible creature.” She hid her frown. Maybe she could change the topic before it was too late? She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. What was she doing? This was something they needed to talk about as well.

The boy continued to purr softly at the gentle touch of Rayne’s hand stroking his fur. Shiro let his auntie pull him into her lap and nuzzle against him. With a smile he looked up at her. “It’s not your fault. Yes, she is home which makes me happy, but what kind of things does she need to tie up before we can be together? I wanna spend time with her before she leaves again.” He knew he was being selfish, but he missed Fiaria and she had promised that the next time she visited she would tell him more about herself.

The wound didn’t take long to heal. “You’re welcome.” He gave her a grin because she admitted he was right. His purring intensified as the seer smiled at him and kissed his head.

Giving her a nod he nuzzled against her. “Ok, I won’t tell them Auntie Luna.” By now Shiro was very at home in his auntie’s lap. The way she put things to him he understood. “She probably misses you too.” Due to his innocence he had no clue what kind of things Rayne had been through. He only knew how his own mother was when they were reunited. His own glance followed the woman’s briefly. He too was wondering about Fiaria and Ara’mis. What was so important for those two to talk about?

“Is that a promise?” He asked innocently. Shiro wanted to believe she meant it. That she would be back and wouldn’t leave him and Yuuta alone. Over the last month the three of them had become somewhat like family.

--------------
What Rayne had told him couldn’t be true. Yuuta sat there by the lake still struggling to deal with what the seer had told him. When it all happened he had been only seven years of age. He didn’t understand what was going on at that time. Even after it was over little was offered to him in terms of understanding and comfort. The Blaze Clan took him and acted as though the Ice Claw Clan never existed. Now knowing the real reason it still didn’t make much sense. He was still trying to piece it all together.

((might add more for Yuuta. If not I’ll bring him back in next post.))

Rayne chuckled as she heard the purring coming from Shiro. It was comforting and something that she had grown used to hearing everyday. Though she would not admit it, she tends to find it hard to fall a sleep at night if she doesn't hear him pur at least once that day. She could only figure that it was the pure fact that she lived with him for a whole month.

During that time he had truely become family to her, which was saying a lot since she never really had much of a family. She considered the young katayan her own child even though he was not. Her bright blue eyes looked at the dried herbs hanging from the ceiling as her mind wandered towards Yuuta.

That male was a different story, he was the one that made her heart race and tighten. He was a happiness that she did not believe she deserved. She knew that she loved him to the point that she would sacrifice her happiness for him to find his own.

She cleared her throat before focusing back onto the black haired youth. "Well you see Ara'mis is someone that has helped your mom to stay alive this long. They have very important things to talk about that affects what she may do in the future. Though i am positive that she will try to spend more time with you and tell you all that you want to know." she said with a kiss to the top of his head, scratching behind his ears some more before she made them both stand up.

She kissed his cheek affectionately before she lead him to her room, tugging him to lay down on her plush bed. It felt as if it was made out of nothing but feathers, which it probably was. Her room was far more cluttered then the rest of her home, with odd trinkets and knick knacks that littered the place, along with a desk that held various feathers different colored ink wells and tons of papers that flowed into the floor. Her already packed bags were hard to spot in the room.

As they laid on the bed, she cuddled into him as she tugged a blanket over him, yawning slightly. "Thank you for understanding.....I will tell my mom all about you. I also will come back." she said to him softly in his ear, holding him close to her as she comfort the cub. She was not promising him anything or what condition that she was going to come back in, after all that would have been to much for him at the moment.

"Get some much needed rest. Do not worry, everything will be okay." she whispered softly as she continued to stroke his hair. She had a feeling that Yuuta would be a bit upset because Shiro was in her room, and she allowed no one to come into her inner sanctum.

The assassin stiffened when Fiaria rested her head in his lap. It was a genuine action, and he wasn't quite sure how to respond. The silence stretched on. Ara'mis slowly shifted, resting a hand over the woman's ear. His hand stayed there until he felt Fiaria shift to look up at him.

Ara'mis' expression went from thoughtful to uncertain immediately. "Anything else I'd like to know?" He hesitated, his reflective eyes darting away from Fiaria briefly. At the mention of Shiro, the assassin sucked in a breath. He could see her love for the boy so clearly, it hurt. Ara'mis pulled his hand back, looking uncertain once again. Curious? Yes. That was her ... their ... son. A child. They'd had a child.

Panic became blatantly clear in his eyes. There were no words that fit the moment. Ara'mis didn't respond, and when he heard Fiaria's mumble he felt guilt burning into him. She shouldn't have needed to hide Shiro. The male swallowed thickly, but when Fiaria could no longer speak he nodded once. "What's his name?" He hadn't been paying much attention earlier. He hadn't cared.

Ara'mis felt so uncomfortable, it hurt. This wasn't his story. This wasn't his life. What the hell was this? When ... why ....

His green eyes caught on Fiaria as his panic rose, and something ... clicked. He wasn't sure what it was, nor what had happened, but the only word that surfaced in Ara'mis' mind was her name.

You.

He blinked, then gave a lock of Fiaria's hair a tug. "Up." The assassin pulled again, then reached out and guided the woman into his lap. His hands were trembling, but ... so was she. It helped when Ara'mis could have her closer.

"Wh..." Ara'mis felt guilt and fear rush at him, and he had to start again. "What's he like?"

She had noticed the man stiffening when she rested her head in his lap. His hand resting on her ear had been a comfort. Her eyes had watched him, taking in his actions and expressions. Fiaria took it all in. It hurt to see him look so uncertain and panicked.

Ara’mis’ hand finally left her ear at the look she had given him. Did it hurt so much to see the love she held for both him and their son? Why? Things weren’t supposed to be this way. She had tried to change the subject, but she couldn’t speak. Instead Ara’mis finally spoke. Her icy eyes returned to the man. “His name is Shiro.” As she spoke her words were soft and quiet, almost whispered.

For a moment Fiaria thought about moving away, telling him to forget everything that she had said if it hurt him so much. That wouldn’t solve anything, but at least then he wouldn't be looking at her with those uncertain and panick filled eyes.

A confused look crossed her face when he tugged on a lock of her hair. At first the woman hesitated to do what Ara’mis said. When he tugged again the Katayan did as told, standing up and letting him guide her into his lap. She was still trembling lightly. His hands were trembling again. There was a hint of concern in her icy eyes as she looked into his green ones.

Taking a breath she settled in his lap, resting her head against his shoulder. ‘What’s he like?’ The words repeated in her mind. The feeling of guilt rose in her. She didn’t know much about their son. Only what little she heard from Damon, her watching him from a far from time to time and what she learned during her brief visit the month prior. Silence filled the air again as she tried to think of how to answer Ara’s question.

“I….I..don’t know much about him myself. I sent him away with Damon once he no longer needed me. Shiro thought I was dead until a month ago when we were reunited.” The guilt she felt was evident within her voice as she spoke. “From what I’ve seen he’s curious, innocent and much more honest than us. He’s also quite skilled it seems as we witnessed earlier.” There was a pause as she tried to think of what else to tell Ara’mis about their son.

(hmmmm forgotten it is)

(Forgotten? *Will be posting for Shiro and Yuuta tomorrow or Monday*)

(Yea I forgot what I had plan-ish in here lol)

((Lol, that happens. Maybe it will come back to you?))

The boy listened to what Rayne said. He understood, but it didn’t change the fact that he was jealous that someone else was getting his mother’s attention. It also didn’t change the fact that he was worried. Something was off with his mother, Yuuta, Rayne and this stranger named Ara’mis. He wanted to know what was going on. Why everyone was acting strangely. Shiro gave a light purr when Rayne kissed the top of his head and scratched behind his ears. He looked up at her when she made them stand.

“Is he really that important? He seemed so dark and uncle Yuuta didn’t seem to like him.” He frowned a bit before giving her a small smile. “I guess it’s ok as long as she’ll be ok and she might get to spend more time with me.” There was a slightly skeptical look within his green eyes. The youth wasn’t sure what to make of everything, but so far Fiaria hadn’t given him a reason not to trust her word and Rayne was always right about things.

Shiro kissed his auntie’s cheek and let her lead him to her room. It was odd that she would take him there instead of his room. She had never let anyone in her room before. The boy didn’t question her and did as she bid laying on the bed. It was very soft and fluffy which caused him to smile.

He snuggled against Rayne as she tugged the blanket over them. His purring was strong and soft as he closed his eyes. “You’re welcome auntie Luna. You better come back.” It was hard for him to picture her not being there. She was the closest thing he had to a mother even though he had finally met Fiaria, his real mother. The gentle stroking of Rayne’s hand over his hair comforted him further, causing him to slowly drift off to sleep. “I hope so auntie.” It wasn’t long before the cub was asleep.


-------------------------

Yuuta still felt lost. It wasn’t that he was angry with Rayne due to the fact that she had caused the tragedy that took away his entire family and clan. He was upset that she had kept it from him then tried to use it against him to push him away. It seemed that no matter what he did all the seer ever did was push him away or dismiss his words.

His eyes gazed out across the dark water of the lake as he sat there. Did it really matter anymore who or what the reason was for the loss of his clan? He had merely been a boy around Shiro’s age. It was all long ago and nothing could change the past even if he knew the truth. It wasn’t until he was able to answer that question that his thoughts soon drifted back to Rayne. Yuuta sighed, almost kicking himself for just disappearing instead of pursuing her instead. To make her explain further. “Always the fool,” he mumbled to himself.

The man wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he wandered to the lake. He stood, making up his mind before heading back home. It was the only home he had now and that is what truly mattered. As he passed the small one room cottage he noted how it was still iced over. Yuuta shivered slightly, not from the cold due to the ice, but because of what he had felt from both his sister and the stranger earlier. Those two, they were both dark and feral. Ara’mis more so than Fiaria. For some reason though he found it hard to picture those two getting along while within the same room. Little did the male know that the two within the cottage were more of a match for each other than he would ever imagine them to be.

A soft sigh left his lips when he entered Rayne’s house. No one was in sight. He supposed that Shiro was already asleep within his room and the seer was still locked away within her room. The Katayan quietly walked over to the door of Rayne’s room and knocked lightly. “Rayne…are you awake?” His voice was soft.

"Shiro," Ara'mis repeated the name, trying to keep his emotions contained. It obviously worked well. His panic was still painfully obvious, as was the fact that they were both trembling. This ... this wasn't normal for them. It hurt to sit here like this, to bear such stories and names. Things were too entwined, too ... personal. This relationship that was forming at a rapid pace as making Ara'mis wish he'd never come. Yet thinking back, the assassin knew that this needed to happen. It was this, or lose her completely.

The male's reflective eyes were still uncertain, but he forced his way through it. There was no other end. The only way out was to go through with it all. They'd already changed both to themselves and one another. When they left one another that night, things would never be the same.

Seeing Fiaria's concern for him made Ara'mis want to chastise her, but the words never came to his lips. Don't worry for me. I'm a coward, Fia. You've known that all along.

Listening to Fiaria's answer to his question about Shiro, Ara'mis slowly nodded. She'd lied to her son for everyone's sake, too. More guilt entered the picture. She wouldn't have had to lie if she'd of known the assassin that had given her the child wouldn't have overreacted. Everything would have been better if only this entire relationship had never been formed.

The moment the thought entered his mind, Ara'mis felt a sharp stab of pain. No. That wasn't true. Still, the assassin couldn't decide which was worse: Never knowing Fia, or going through this one moment.

"He is quite skilled," he said quietly, his hand tangling in Fiaria's hair out of habit and his obvious discomfort. "Then ... Damon trained him?" Ara'mis focused on Fiaria, knowing that the best way to get through this was to keep the reason for the discomfort in mind. This was for her. For them. They needed this.

"How old is he?"

She gave a light nod as Ara’mis repeated their son’s name. While she sat within his lap the woman was slowly calming. This was all so awkward, so unlike them. Things had already went past the point where they could return to the way they normally were. Watching him Fiaria wondered if this would cause her to lose him completely. If he would still end up running away.

It was so strange to not have the assassin chastise her or do something to prove his point about she shouldn’t be concerned with him. That she shouldn’t get too close to him. Still that wouldn’t have stopped what she felt, what the woman allowed to show within her eyes and on her features. The Katayan wanted to be honest with herself and with him.

While she spoke, answering his question about Shiro Fiaria wondered if he regretted everything, regretted her. If Ara’mis understood that she did what she had to. It wasn’t just because of him, but also because of her own past. Because she wasn’t ready to be a mother, that she feared that if her past caught up to her that she wouldn’t be able to protect the child. Sure she felt guilty, but what she did she did out of love.

Her chest hurt at the thought that she shouldn’t have ever let Rayne talk her into meeting Shiro and telling the truth. To tell Ara’mis what she had been hiding for years.

Ara’mis' hand tangled within her hair. Fiaria took his free hand into one of hers and gave it a light squeeze. Her icy blue eyes stayed on him.

“He is and yes Damon has trained him. Since he moved here to live with Rayne she has been training him along with the Centaurs and Yuuta.” There was a hint of disdain in her voice as the woman spoke her brother’s name. She gave him a weak smile. “Now that he knows about me I will also be training him when I visit. Our son shall be strong.”

It was strange to say the words our son. Fiaria wasn’t use to saying that she had a son much less referring to the boy as their son. Her focus moved back to Ara’mis.

“Shiro is currently seven years old. He will be eight in a few months.”

Lightly the woman nuzzled his shoulder, her trembling had finally stopped. “Ara are you angry with me? If you are I understand. I shouldn’t have kept this from you for so long.”

Would things have been different if she had told him once she knew she was pregnant with his child? The thought made her wonder how he would have reacted back then. Would their lives had been much different?

Fiaria was correct, Rayne has been training her son Shiro, but he had a long way to go yet, as of right now she has only been teaching him how to cook and what plants are edible out in the wild. While her darling centaur family taught him about the Goddess. After all if he was going to live with her then he needed to learn about the most important being in her life. That is on a completely different fact that would more then likely brought up at a later date.

The most important thing at the moment was that she was envious of Shiro because he was able to still be innocent, to be true to his emotions. It was clear by the look on his face that he was rather jealous and it was adorable on the young Katayan. Oh how she wished that she could be like that once more but her gift made her grow up far faster then anyone could ever imagine.

"He is important, darling. Hmmm i don't know how to explain my darling brother. and why Yuuta doesn't like him. But do not worry, your mother can handle herself." she said to him in a comforting way as she continued to stroke his hair, cuddling him close as she tucked the blanket around him a bit. She kissed the back of his head once more as she listened to him fall a sleep, a sad smile crossed her face, it felt rather nice to have him sleeping with her. Not in a weird creepy way, just in a I wish I had a child way.

She listened to the soft breathing, to the purring coming from the small body next to her, it was comforting. Soon her mind turned towards Yuuta, about what her words had done to him. To be honest she wanted him to be close, wanted him to be that special someone. She sniffled slightly before burying her face into her pillow, trying to stay calm and not to start crying once more.

She just had to push him away, to put a distance between them. Even though she knew deep down with in her heart that she was in love with Yuuta. Convincing herself that he was better off with out her, after all she had to handle things before she can even considered having any sort of relationship. She sniffled and wiped the silent tears that streamed down her face.

She jerked in surprise when she heard knocking on her bedroom door, she held her breathe, tensing up as she held onto Shiro. Then she stopped breathing for a moment as the one she was thinking about the most had called out to her. She looked towards the door that had swung open slowly as it was knocked, for she had not closed it properly.

“Rayne…are you awake?”

She took a deep breathe before she sat up in her bed, keeping Shiro hidden from view slightly as she did not want him to be awaken. "Yuuta....I am." was all she said, keeping her voice low, she knew that he could smell that his nephew was in the room. To be all honest she had no clue what to say to him, she could barely bring herself to show her face to him, much less look at him for the guilt that she felt was breaking her heart.

The young Katayan had taken comfort in Rayne’s words. This Ara’mis person was important for some reason that no one would tell him and his mother could handle herself. As long as he believed she wasn’t in danger then he would have to wait. For now Shiro was content with being with his aunt. She was the closest thing he had ever had to a mother. Even now she was more like a mother to him than Fiaria was.

As he slept by her he purred contently. When there was a knock on the bedroom door he shifted a little in his sleep, but never woke up. It had been a very long day and he was more worn out than he had let on.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The older Katayan hadn’t expected the door to open when he knocked. When the door drifted open he caught the scent of his nephew. It seemed he was with the seer. Had they waken the boy earlier and she was trying to get him back to sleep. No, it didn’t matter. He knew that the boy was dear to Rayne and she to him. So he ignored the fact the cub was sleeping on the bed by the woman.

Yuuta stood there in silence, his gaze on the floor instead of her. He hadn’t planned on her answering him, much less the door to the woman’s room opening for him. “I…I want to….I…I’m sorry that I ran away. What you told me was a shock to say the least, but…” The man paused as if to be sure he was saying what he meant.

Slowly he rose his gaze to meet with Rayne. “If I worried Shiro I apologize. I didn’t mean to.” He let out a sigh. “I gave what you told me some thought and it doesn’t matter. At least not to me. It’s in the past and that’s where it belongs.” Not once did the man attempt to step within the room. Instead he just stood there within the doorway. “This is my home now. You two are my family and that is what is most important.” Silence fell again. Yuuta didn’t know what else to say. He feared that if he continued to try pushing her like he had earlier that he would only cause Rayne more pain. That was something he did not wish for.

Rayne smiled softly down at Shiro as he cuddled into her, chuckling to her self as she goes back to petting him and holding him close. She didn't know what to do or say at the moment, biting her lip as she tried to remain calm. The silence was deafening, pressing down on the room to the point it was far louder then is they were talking.

She flinched as he brought up their earlier conversation, it was not what she thought he came to talk about. Sadness and guilt was written all over her face. She shrunk down a bit, trying to hide from his gaze, maybe even trying to use Shiro as a shield, but so be honest she was trying to protect him more then anything. She knew that Yuuta had every right to be angry with her, to yell at her and have nothing to do with her. That is what she had planned from the beginning, to push him away so that he would not be damaged by her.

"Yes he was worried....about Ara'mis, Fairia, and You. He will be fine in the morning." she said to him, keeping her eyes on the young tiger cub, petting him a bit more before kissing the top of his head again. Keeping her voice low. "I killed your family and clan.... shakes her head, she did not understand how he could so easily forgive something like that after all she had ruined the peace they were all living at the time. "How can you so easily forgive me for that? Fairia would have my head." she said softly before she rubbed at her face, finally looking at him with her bright blue eyes, trying to figure out how he had come to forgive her so easily.

"You have Fairia, damon....not just Shiro." she was going to add Ara'mis in there but it was not her place to tell Fia's business. Of course she was not including herself considering the fact that well she wasn't anyone's family and she did have a trip that she needed to make. She sighed heavily before she patted the bed on the other side of Shiro. Only allowing them to be in her room just tis once, this was a one time thing.

Ara'mis mentally pictured the boy he knew to be Shiro. As he thought of the situation, he realized that this was what Fiaria needed even more so than Ara'mis himself. The assassin couldn't have answered the unspoken question if he tried. Would this cause Fiaria to lose him completely? He wasn't sure.

Trying not to let his chastisement slip into the conversation, Ara'mis pressed his forehead against Fiaria's. It seemed that the contact was the only way for him to keep himself from acting the part of the coward, which he so desperately wanted to do out of habit.

There was a pause. During that pause, Ara'mis noted the flicker of pain and uncertainty in Fiaria's eyes. No. She shouldn't be unsure. She needed to say this - he needed to know it. His hand tightened on Fiaria's the moment her fingers entwined with his. He listened with a slow ebb in his panic, trying to make sense of it all.

"That's why they came," he muttered. He could recall seeing the centaur around Rayne's house many times. Perhaps they knew. Perhaps it was all entwined. The centaur raised him, Yuuta and Damon had a hand in his upbringing... Ara'mis snapped back to reality when Fiaria smiled slightly. The weak expression bid the assassin to release her hair and gently pull her to lean against him more comfortably.

"A boy his age learning from so many masters," he spoke with a low voice, hoping to keep his fear from entering it. "He'll be stronger than many." Almost eight. The boy ... Shiro ... was almost eight. Ara'mis' green eyes were distant as he recalled how long ago that had been. He was lost in thought when Fiaria nuzzled his shoulder.

Ara'mis seemed startled by the question. Everything was new and startling right now. Blinking, the assassin forced his hand to stop gripping Fiaria's so tightly. It had to have hurt her at that point. "I understand why you kept it from me," he whispered, his trembling finally coming to rest. This was real. It was happening. The only way to get through this was to accept it and see what change it brought - he couldn't stop the change from happening any more than he could have stopped the sun from rising. "I'm not angry with you. It was a wise decision." Who knew what kind of emotional choices Ara'mis would have made if he'd have known of Shiro's existence?

"I-I-" Ara'mis hesitated, then paused and started again. His words were weak, though obviously sarcastic as he continued. "Damn you two for luring me out here for this." Still, there was acceptance in his expression. "All of this serious conversation is going to drive us to change."

The male wrapped both arms around Fiaria, embracing her tight enough to nearly crush her. When Ara'mis' hold loosened, he seemed ... more at ease with their situation. Bumping his forehead against hers, he attempted a reassuring smile - which honestly looked more like a tolerant one.

A frown formed on his features when the woman flinched and shrank down. Maybe this had been the wrong course of action? He was angry, but he also knew no matter what he did or said it wouldn’t change the past. Rayne had been different, she treated him like a person with no other motives in mind. At least he didn’t believe that she had other motives in mind when she agreed to taking him into her home. Yuuta had never planned on falling in love with the seer, but it was happening no matter how much she tried to push him away.

“It’s good that he will be ok. Poor boy probably doesn’t understand what all is going on…truthfully I’m not sure if I understand it all.” He still hadn’t decided if it was that he didn’t understand it all or if he just didn’t want to accepted it all. The male sighed when she spoke those words again about killing his family and clan. She had been the indirect cause of what happened. She wasn’t the one who used the weapons to slay his family and clan.

Closing his indigo eyes he took a slow breath. He wasn’t quite sure how he was so easily able to forgive her. After a moment he spoke softly. “Rayne, I was but a child then. Nothing really made sense about the whole attack and what happened afterwards. I do know one thing though. You didn’t slay any of them. It was humans that did that. Humans like most, ones that hate and fear my kind. Like I said that is all in the past. There is no point in bringing up painful memories. Bring up things that can never be changed. It was something that was part of fate. If it hadn’t been you that caused them to get so close and discover my clan something else would have caused it.” Lowering his gaze he shook his head.

“That is Fiaria, not me. Fiaria was older. She was to be the next clan leader. Her sense of responsibility and guilt for the clan are different. Fia argued with father to let her stay and fight. Instead he sent her away with Alemi. I don’t know what happened after that, but something terrible must have happened to her if you say that she would do such a thing.” Looking up Yuuta gave her a weak smile. “If Fiaria ever tries to take your head I’ll stop her. I won’t allow it.”

A few moments passed before he accepted Rayne’s offer to sit on the bed beside her. At first he wondered if it was a good idea. For some reason Yuuta had the feeling that if he made the wrong move that the ground beneath him would start to crumble. That he just might lose everything he was trying to regain.

Again he shook his head. “Right now Fiaria wants nothing to do with me. I know nothing of Damon or why he isn’t here with Shiro. Until I come to better terms with Fia and meet this Damon then the only family I have are you and Shiro.” He meant his words. It was how he truly felt. Rayne should have known like he did that it was going to take some time for him to mend his relationship with his long lost sister.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ara’mis was correct in his realization that she needed this more than he did. After almost dying at the hands of human’s due to the run in they had with Aveline, being betrayed by a human she tried to help, finding herself trapped within the Sithe city at the Slave House, barely escaping from becoming a slave, and having to burn down the only two homes she knew...everything it had caused her to question what she was doing. Her path had become so unclear. Of course Rayne had known she was coming to see her so she made sure that Shiro was there so she could force her to tell the boy the truth. That did it, she had to go find a place to think, to clear her mind. To be alone for a while.

Really Fiaria wasn’t sure if Ara’mis would even notice her disappearance. Not after the last time they had met. He had been so furious with her and he had every right to be. What happened had been her fault and could have gotten them both killed. They had been lucky that they made it out alive. Maybe she partly ran away because she wasn’t sure she could ever face the assassin again. Yes, a lot of what was happening right now was more for her than him.

The woman gave him a soft smile when his hand tightened on hers. Yes, what was being done and said right now needed to be done. He knew it and she knew it.

At his muttering her head tilted slightly. She didn’t know what he was talking about, but figured it must have had something to do with Shiro, Yuuta or maybe the Centaurs. A soft purr came from the Katayan when he pulled her closer.

“Yes, and he will need to be.” Fiaria had no doubt that this would be true. Once the boy was no longer here at Rayne’s and out in the world. His family’s past might seek him out. If that were to happen then he would need all the strength he could get.

Fiaria had ignored the aching in her hand until Ara’mis loosened his grip. A flicker of amusement flickered over her features at the fact her question seemed to startle him. The woman nuzzled his shoulder more, giving another light purr. “I’m glad that you understand and that you aren’t angry with me. Every time I imagined the moment I told you about our son I pictured you going off on me, lecturing me. Or you would just laugh it off as a joke and tell me I was a liar. That I was trying to tie you down.”

The fact that Ara’mis changed the direction of the conversation a bit pleased her. Fiaria chuckled while shaking her head, her ear tickling his neck. “Don’t blame me. I never intended to lure you here…I wasn’t even sure you would notice that I disappeared. Until I arrived here tonight I didn’t know you would be here and that we would be having this conversation. This was Rayne’s doing.”

Even if all of that was true the woman was still happy that things worked out this way. Fiaria smiled, her icy eyes meeting his green ones. “Yes it is. All I can hope is that change is for the better. But whatever the outcome I will accept it.” It was the only thing that the Katayan could do.

The woman gave a small squeak as she was startled when Ara’mis wrapped his arms around her and embraced her so tightly it hurt. Once his hold on her loosened Fiaria shifted so that she was straddling his lap instead of sitting in it. A light laugh came from her when he bumped his forehead against hers. She was so happy that he seemed to be at ease now. He was no longer panicking.

Fiaria met his smile with one of her true smiles. The woman wrapped her arms around him before rubbing her nose against his and giving him a light kiss. Resting her forehead against his she whispered. “Thank you for listening and understanding. If there is anything else you would like to tell me I’ll listen. Or if there is anything else you would like to know I will tell you.”

(*evil laugh* I love how it is all rayne's fault!!!)

Rayne sighed heavily, making sure that there was plenty of room between the two of them, avoiding at all cost not to touch him, after all she did not liked to be touched. She new how the male felt towards her, and hoped that maybe just maybe that he understood where she was coming from. Sure she wore the necklace he gave her in secret, always keeping it on her as he had asked weeks ago. She unconsciously grabbed it, feeling the warmth that seemed to emanate from it just for her.

It was never her intention to fall in love with him or to have him fall in love with her. She wanted to make a mistake right even if it was far to late and all she could do was bring back a broken family together. "No....no one understands what is going on. Except for me." she whispered the words, fingering the stone that hung around her neck. She was deep in thought for the moment before sighing heavily, how could she explain the burden of just knowing far more then a person should.

She sighed heavily before reaching over towards the beside table next to her, it was made of animal bones, to grab a metal container. She flipped it open to pull one of her homemade cigarettes out, after she lit it, you could smell lavender and a hint of something more, of something else that you could not quit pinpoint what it was. "Humans...." she said the word before she laughed, getting a slight crazed look upon her face as she rubbed at it as if she was tired. She let a stream of smoke to slowly escape her lips before she leaned against her head board.

"You seem to forget that I am human also." she said to him in a voice that was all sad, how could she not feel sad when it seemed like he had a thing against all humans. That was something that made he want to put even more distance between them then what she already had so far. She sighed before flicking her ashes onto the floor, listening to the rest of his words. Glancing at him as she mulled over her next thoughts. "Give your sister some time. As I have told you she thought you were dead for the longest time. So give her time and don't worry about me as I can take care of my self." she spoke softly to him, to be honest she was letting the rest of the conversation go as she had no reason to comment on it at the moment.

"I wish I could just explain everything....but I can't. Except Daimon is not around because he is protecting Fairia from people that are after her. It is hard for him to do that with Shiro following him around. The last thing he needs is for something to happen to Fairia's child...after all you seen how she is. Imagine how she would be if something happens to Shiro." se said to him before she started to cuddle Shiro again, after she finished her smoke, which for some reason Ara'mis had a bad habit of stealing from her.

((Yup, it’s all the seer’s fault, lol.))

Indigo eyes watched her, noting how she grabbed the necklace he had given to her. It made him happy that she kept it and wore if like he had asked her to. Even if she wouldn’t let him near at least that could somewhat protect her in his place. For a moment a feeling of sadness washed over Yuuta. This was how things would always be wasn’t it? Rayne always being just out of his reach.

After the words had left his lips he regretted them. Every time he talked about humans it came off as he had something against them all. It wasn’t that he had something against all of them, it was just the way he had been raised. The history between the Katayan and Humans was stained with blood and it was hard to not let that blood get in the way of being open minded. Yuuta didn’t hate humans. He had only met some and most of them were more accepting of anthro then what he expected. There had been those few who hated his kind with a passion. It was always those bad few that gave the others a bad name.

The Katayan almost flinched when she spoke. ‘Human’s…You seem to forget that I am human also.’ His ears drooped slightly as he lowered his head. Lightly shaking his head he remained silent. It wasn’t that he forgot that. It was that around her he forgot what the humans who hate even loath his kind is like. It was useless for him to try to correct what he said.

When the smoke from the seer’s cigarette drifted towards him he didn’t even bother waving it away. The scent of lavender was a bit comforting. It wasn’t until Rayne spoke again that he found his voice again. “I will give her time.” A sad look crossed his features. “How can I not worry,” he mumbled. Didn’t the woman understand his feelings?

“It would be nice if you could. I’ll try to be patient.” Yuuta sighed. “That is understandable and I can only imagine and truthfully I don’t think I want to see her if something did happen to the boy.” A smile formed on his lips as he watched Rayne cuddle Shiro. For a moment he was a bit jealous of his nephew.

A few moments of silence passed before the older Katayan rose to his feet. Being here in this room was a one-time thing and he knew it. He would never see the seer’s inner sanctum after tonight. “I probably should just go. I…I’m just making things worse for both of us.” He gave her a weak smile before turning away. As the man started to walk toward the door he spoke, almost whispering. “I’m sorry for troubling you…” I won’t do it again.

The look on the Katayan’s face as he stared at the door before him was one of defeat. There was no doubt in Yuuta’s mind that he had screwed things up beyond repair this time. Maybe it was time he stopped trying to pursue his feelings. That he did as she told him for once.