Roland sighed and leaned back against Alexi, taking a moment to relax. He had finished the task at hand and now wasn't sure what to work on next, this wasn't a life he was used to. "We cannot survive on this alone..." He murmured, looking at the small amount of food he had brought back. Sure, they could fish, but how soon before they were tired of that? Hell, he didn't even like fish to begin with, but he didn't voice this complaint to Alexi, since he was already trying so hard.

"And what about you, and the boy? We have few clothes, shoes... weapons. How will we protect our self..." All of his doubts and fears will spilling out and he felt unable to stop them. He felt like he was spiraling, his hands shaking. How could he explain to Alexi that he would soon be even worse, that he couldn't stand to live without the pills, the drinks, the lifestyle he lived as the privileged son of some of the richest humans in the city.

Alexi put his hands over Roland's. He knew there was something he wasn't being told. But he wouldn't push it. "I've heard rumors." He said softly as he took a calming breath. "I've heard rumors that there are places where humans and mutants live together. In peace. We could go and find that place. Then the three of us could be a family and be safe. And you would have your city life. I'd get used to it as long as I was with you."

Roland pulled away from Alexi, dropping into one of the chairs at the table. "Do you really believe that? No place like that would exist, and even if it did, we'd probably never make it." He slammed his fist down on the table in frustration. He wasn't mad at Alexi, he wasn't regretting his choice, he was angry he had to make a choice, that they had to live like this just to be together. Sure, it seemed fine now, carving out an existence in a small cabin in the middle of the woods, surviving on the land. But soon it would grow old, soon the pills would run out, the wine would be gone, and Roland would have to deal with his issues...

"I- I just need a minute." He mumbled and hurried to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Alexi didn't need this, didn't deserve his anger, his outbursts. All he had to do was just take one pill and he'd be better... He dropped to the ground, fishing out the small metal container, twisting the top off. With the pill taken he hid the container once more and sat back, waiting for things to feel normal again.

Alexi reached out to Roland as he rushed from the room into the bedroom. He started shaking all over. He didn't know that Roland wasn't mad at him. He was scared Roland would leave. The wind started howling outside the cabin. Alexi sunk to the floor his whole body shaking. He wrapped his arms around himself starting to hyperventilate a bit. Lucius rushed to his side wrapping his small arms around the older mutant. He didn't know what else to do, and he was scared.

When Roland finally managed to calm himself, for his hands to start shaking and the fog that settled on him to lift, he could feel the change in the air. He cursed under his breath, angry at himself for causing Alexi to feel like this. He hurried from the room, not surprised to see the boy attempting to calm him. As gently as he could, he nudge the boy away and pulled Alexi into his arms. "I'm here..." He whispered, his arms tight around Alexi, nuzzling against his ear. His mood had completely changed, he already felt more energetic and like everything would be okay.

Lucius moved aside knowing he couldn't help Alexi. He went and sat on his bed pulling his knees to his chest. He'd never seen Alexi get this bad before.

Alexi clung to Roland trying his best to calm down. But he just couldn't seem to do it. He was still hyperventilating and the wind was still hollowing around the small cabin. Roland wouldn't live him. Roland loved him. He was still shaking as he clung tighter to Roland. He hated feeling like this. He hated that this happened. He hated that as much as he practiced with his powers he still had no control over them when his emotions got the better of him.

"Alexi..." Roland called out. "I'm still here, I'm sorry." He mumbled as he rubbed the man's back. It wasn't working, he could still feel the change in the air, hear the wind outside the cabin. He pulled Alexi's face to his, pressing his lips against his, trying to distract him any way he could. He had to stop him the only way he seemed to know how, he pushed him, leading him back to the bedroom. This is what they both needed, distraction from everything going on around them, a moment together to remind each other of their commitment to each other... Purring, he kissed at Alexi's neck. "You know I love when you use your powers..."

Alexi calmed down as soon as he was kissed and as he calmed down the wind calmed down. He followed Roland into the bedroom. He knew they could use sometime together. He purred as his neck was nuzzled. "But I don't have control of them. I thought I did but I don't." He said leaning against Roland. He leaned against Roland and a small yawn escapes his lips. After not having slept well the night before and the emotional rollercoaster of the last few hours it was all catching up to him. "Just hold me." He mumbled with another yawn.

Roland complied, pulling Alexi down onto the bed with him, holding him against him. "We're going to be okay." He mumbled, trying to assure him as they laid there in bed. He felt restless but he hid that from Alexi, not wanting to upset him anymore. He wasn't sure how long he had slept, but it obviously wasn't enough. "Rest now." He cooed as he ran his fingers through his hair, enjoying the soft feel of the white strands as they slid through his fingers. After he got Alexi to sleep he could go out and see about gathering some more wood and getting some water from the stream.

Alexi curled up against Roland. "I didn't mean to upset you," he mumbled. And he hadn't. He just wanted Roland to be happy. Soon he was asleep snoring softly. His exhaustion had caught up to him.

Lucius slipped outside once the sun had set. He had heard about the city Alexi had spoken of. He would spend sometime looking for it.

Roland had managed to doze a bit himself, but soon enough he was wide awake. It took a moment for him to squirm free from Alexi and climb off the bed, as careful as he could to avoid waking him. He sighed and left the bedroom, surprised to find the boy missing. "Lucius?" He called out softly, wondering if the boy was outside. He opened the door and scanned the field in front of him. Perhaps he was just off exploring, hopefully he returned before it was too dark.

The sun was already setting so Roland hurried to scour the surrounding forest for wood that they would need to keep warm. He was still wary about having a fire and the smoke, but they couldn't freeze to death out here when winter came. When his arms got too full he would leave the small logs and branches by the side of the cabin then venture out once more. He struggled a bit, he could feel his mood waning, his body already wanting him to take another pill. He ignored it, he couldn't do that, not if he wanted them to last, not if he was going to survive.

Lucius came back into the clearing. He spotted Roland. "Roland." He called out. Though because of his scales he was hard to see. He had found something amazing. A city near by that both humans and mutants lived in. He was very excited at his find.

Roland looked around when he heard his name called out, it took him a minute to spot Lucius in the dark. He hurried to the boy, still holding a few large branches that he had found. "Are you alright?" He asked, looking the boy over, wondering why he had been wandering so late at night. He seemed far too young to be out alone, but he was hardly in charge of the boy.

"More then alright. I found it." He said excitement filling his voice. He was so happy that he had found this for them. He was hoping to tell both of them at the same time. He also had found some food as well that he was carrying.


Alexi woke to find Roland wasn't in the bed. He didn't get up though. He was still exhausted, but he just couldn't seem to sleep. He laid there staring at the ceiling. This wasn't good. How was he supposed to help them survive if he couldn't get any rest. He let out a sigh.

"Found what?" Roland asked, a little concerned that he had been out searching for anything so late. The boy was obviously excited, but Roland wasn't sure what it could be that he would have found. He took the food from the boy and motioned for him to follow him back to the cabin. Once there he dropped the food onto the table and took a seat, waiting to hear his news.

"The city Alexi was talking about. It exists. It's real. And it's not to far from here." He said climbing into Roland's lap. "We could live together and be safe and not have to live in the woods." He looked up at Roland trying to gauge his reaction.

Alexi can hear them talking and he just listens. He wasn't surprised that Lucius had gone out. The boy had always been a night owl. But could he have found that mythical city? He waited to see how Roland would react to the news.

Roland sighed and put his arm around the boy, though it felt a bit awkward. He had never been very good around children. "I don't think it's that easy." He began, not wanting to boy to have his hopes up. "It could be dangerous, despite what you think you saw." It wasn't that he didn't believe the boy, but at the same time he couldn't imagine a place like that was so close. Surely his father would have complained about it a time or two. "You shouldn't have gone out on your own, or to a strange place like that." He wasn't trying to hurt the boys feelings, but he wanted to be realistic. Besides, if they made it to the city, if by some miracle it existed, he was sure it wouldn't take long for word to get to his father, especially if he was so close. If his father found him, he didn't know what would happen. Yes, he was an adult now, but his father was a powerful and rich man.

Lucius' shoulders slummped. I knew the older man was right. Maybe it was foolish to get his hopes up. He just knew that Roland wasn't really happy here. "What are they for?" He asked about the pills. He knew it wasn't any of his business. He just wanted to know.

Roland sighed and closed his eyes. "I've made some bad choices and I need them, or I feel sick." He wished the boy hasn't caught him, wondering how long or would be before the boy told Alexi about them. Surely he would be mad, and Roland want sure he could live without them, even if it cost him the man he loved. Perhaps his simple explanation would satisfy the boot and he would say no more about it.

"What happens when you run out?" He asked looking up at Roland. Concern filled his eyes. He knew he would run out eventually and he was curious as to what would happen to Roland if he didn't have his pills. What would happen to Alexi if something happened to Roland.

Alexi was wondering what choices had led Roland to need pills. He was also wondering what would happen to Roland when he ran out of pills. He still listened at the door.

There wasn't a really good answer for that, since he didn't truly know. He knew what happened if he went too long without taking one, how his body craved one, but would it get worse if he didn't give in, or couldn't give in? "I just get a bit sick, but I will be okay." He wasn't sure if that was true or not, but it didn't matter, he wasn't going to explain to this boy his problem, his addiction. It had been so long since he first started, first with his mothers medication, then onto other stuff, hanging with the wrong crowd, getting into bad habits. Always he blamed his father, who pushed and prodded, expecting so much of him, but it was a sad excuse. Lately it had been because of Alexi, his pain at falling in love with someone he was sure he couldn't be with, the worry that one day they'd never see each other again. At that point he did anything he could to take his mind off of that.

"Are you hungry?" He needed to change the subject, and since midday had already come and gone, he figured it was time to eat something. "I'll make sandwiches." He didn't give the boy room to argue, instead he set him on his feet and moved to the kitchen where he made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, from far too fancy ingredients for people who were living in the woods.

Alexi wanted to confront Roland about the pills. About why he had hidden that from him. But he pushed that feeling away. It wasn't as if he weren't hiding things from Roland. What with his dpression and severe separation anxiety. He tried to get back to sleep. He knew he needed more sleep. He was both physically and mentally tired. But sleep was alluding him. He sighed and got up and left the bedroom. He smiled a bit seeing Roland and Lucius eating sandwiches together.

Roland was surprised to see Alexi awake, and so soon after he had talked with he boy. How much had he heard? Perhaps it had been so vague he didn't understand. He didn't seem upset, anyways. The sandwich in front of him had been nibbled at, though mostly Roland had just picked the crust off, leaving it along the edges of the plate, avoiding eating all together. All the concern, the running and hiding, did not bode well for his appetite which hadn't been much to begin with, mostly binge eating until he was sick then skipping the next few meals, only to start all over again.

"Here, finish mine." Roland said with a smile, pushing the plate towards Alexi. Hopefully later he would be able to stomach some food.

"I'm not that hungry." He said softly as he went and say on Roland's lap. He laid his head on his lovers shoulder. How were they going to survive of they kept secrets from each other? A small yawn escaped him. He was just so tired. He chewed on his bottom lip. Wanting to ask about what he had heard. But he didn't because he was afraid of the answers he might get.

Roland wrapped his arms around Alexi, loosely holding him. He rested his head against his, "Is everything okay?" He asked, a bit concerned about his mood, his silence, everything. Was he regretting his choice in bringing him here? No, it wouldn't be that, it had only been one day, surely he wasn't tired of him already. Had he overheard about his addiction? Doubtful, he looked like he had just woken, and he still seemed so tired. How would Alexi know, feeling he kept such a secret from him? It wasn't as if it was just him, almost no one knew of it, other than a doctor, who had saved him a time or two before when he got too far out of hand. Even if people did know, they would just wave it off, the rich son having fun.