Not sure how I ended up with negative gold. But there it is. lol.

wow, i can't believe how well you kept up with this all year! it really seems like you met so many of your goals, and i can definitely see how much you've grown over the year, through all of your challenges and hurdles. you're starting to get me motivated too!

Originally Posted by ghostPastry

wow, i can't believe how well you kept up with this all year! it really seems like you met so many of your goals, and i can definitely see how much you've grown over the year, through all of your challenges and hurdles. you're starting to get me motivated too!

Thanks. Ya, although I can't see it from where I am I guess I have.

I keep going back and forth between if I want to make a thread for the user winter event or not. It's not really busy enough in anyone's thread for me to bother. I think I might just stick in my journaling thread for the most part. I always have broken thoughts about this time of year and I can come off as completely crazy when no one tries to understand me.

I'd like it to be how it was here, a family away from physicality but it can never be. We can't go backwards in this level. The ice on the heart is protective and beautiful. Sharply glistening reflecting the shades of your own.

When I moved on from Menewsha I wrote a poem and made it my final resting place. It's tempting to fall back into old routines and behaviors if you aren't careful. I posted it on another avatar site.

There was this place I used to know. A place I use to love to go.
And now I guess we'll never know. I will never melt away the snow.

.
.
.

I think I'll prep this thread for the new year. I'm certainly going to reuse it because nothing is going to get done to update the sections. The front is going to look kind of chaotic for a while. Or perhaps... I dunno. I don't want to mess with it right now.

Also, I'm back at negative gold again. The marketplace is SO messed up right now.

I had like 1000+ bought something for 350 and 100 and boom -2000 in debt. The fuck? lol. ok then. I'm not that worried about it though. Oh well at least I got some random items out of my inventory.

The holidays shouldn't leave you in debt anywhere.

January 2022


January 5th

I blocked all my family on facebook and joined a bunch of LGBTQ groups. Not very active there yet. I don't even know what to say. Hey I'm bored and lonely but don't want anything serious. Takers?

January 17th

There was a tragedy. My World of Warcraft Mug 'O Doom hit the floor and broke in quarters. How? Dunno must have been how it was tempered. RIP Sweet water glass. You were my favorite container.

January 18th

I signed up for 4 different "pay me" type sites. It should be enough of a variety for the small audience I have. I hope. I WAS planning on launching it in February...

January 24th

Had an interview that didn't go anywhere. Fuckin shitty. It would have been a nice summer job off the grid working in a lodge. Oh well. They interview pretty early for a spring to fall kind of deal.

January 30th

I had a lapse (according to my mother) and went back into psychiatric care. I cut myself because they all sided with the kid that pushed me and somehow didn't see anything. But you know what, I KNOW they heard it. So whatever.

I was put back on Olanzapine, a drug I hate because of weight gain and I was kept for about two weeks for observation.

The previous year when I was sent in it fucked me out of 3 commissions, this year it kept me from launching my pay portals. Thanks mom and dad, REAL fucking supportive.

February 2022


February 8th

Last day in the hospital. Was happy to be out again.

February 9th

I found out I was sensitive to Caffeine while in the hospital. Avoiding coffee and chocolate is going to be hell on Earth. Two things I really enjoy. Especially at that time of the month. However, it's for my health so not much I can do about it.

February 11th

Started searching for driving lessons.

February 19th

Bought myself some stickers.

February 25th

Did my taxes.

February 27th

I did a bit of a make over on some pixels I did. She looks more balanced with the bigger head and more alien with different feet. Happy with it. :3

>

February 28th

Did a new photoshoot with me in an old costume from 2014. Very happy with the results.

March 2022


March 20th

I got driving lessons, and it turned out my little sister knew the guy. He also works as a rep for Nintendo. Interesting guy.

March 20th

Did another photoshoot for fun with my kiddo. Painted my old style blue and black and sparkly. Odd mix of club and Goth I was I suppose. eh whatever.

March 22nd

Finally got around to ordering some business cards. I Was really excited to get them in. Not a bad price for them either.

March 25th

Doctor's appointment for a follow up to the Olanzapine. They agree the medication was bad for me because I gained weight and my family has heart health history. So it was a month on it before they started weaning me off it again. Next pill I guess?

April 2022


April 4th

Another year older. Officially forty.

April 12th

Dentist trip. Eee I hate the bright light chair. The dentist was a very kind and lovely lady though so it was all good.

April 28th

I had my Lasik eye surgery. Seeing things without glasses is like a miracle. They're sensitive to the light right now, and they say will be from 2-4 months. Depends how fast I heal.

(not a lot of highlights this April)

May 2022


May was sadly very inactive for me due to depression. In spite of hitting a big goal and getting Lasik surgery nothing is ever enough for me. I'll probably be this way forever because it's my personality.

May 15

I found out my country has an assisted suicide program. Sadly the number of people that have to sign off on it is ridiculous and makes it an unlikely solution. It's mostly for cancer patients. But like depression and bi polar are something you have to go on drugs for for the rest of your life. Autism too. And I HATE swallowing pills.

May long Weekend

I was suppose to have my art debut at a local convention this year. I bought a table, and a ticket but NOPE. My support system failed me epically. My daughter was suppose to help me at the booth and she backed out last minute and my father was suppose to pick me up when it was dark out, he came when the sun was still bright in the sky and then shamed me for not being ready yet. THANKS ASSHOLES!

May 23

Got a new part time because of my parents insistence. They want more of my money. It's a sweet gig at the mall at the front info desk.

May 27

First day went great. I got to know about a few of the inner workings of the mall. They signed me in and printed out a few things under my name and showed me some of the duties.

May 30

They called me in early and told me it wasn't going to work out... WHAT THE FUCK. After three years of looking for a good part time to support my art and family I get served false hope on a platter. All because I needed medical sunglasses and we weren't allowed to wear them. THEY WERE MEDICAL and only needed till August 15th! They're missing out on an excellent employee. I'm great at customer service. Oh well my goth proclivities of the mall being a shitty place has been renewed. This was literally the shortest employment I ever had. Two days.

June 2022


June 6th

Made a new spider friend. They were cool. I got another one now. The hang out at the top of the stairs looking plump and fabulous. Sylvester hasn't seen them yet so they're ok for now.

June 9th

I started crafting again. I don't know towards what end. But I gotta try it. Basically repainting my fox mask for my "What did the fox say" costume into something else. Still a fox mask, but better than the first version of it. Or will be.

June 10th

Found out about my cousins baby shower. Had to plan what to bring and what to wear. Even though I knew I probably wasn't going to go.

June 19th

Made a post about an RP thread idea that had gone missing. It was really obnoxious. This one was about "Kumiho" attacking a merchant prince and his protégé.

June 21st

Two avatar sites I frequent had an outage at the same time. Odd, but probably nothing. I don't even remember which two it was. Not Mene though. However it'll remain odd enough for me to post about it in here.

July 2022

July 11th

Took my camera out while walking today. Got some sweet nature photos. My kiddo and I had fun on the trail.

July 12th

Canceled my photoshop subscription. Going to research a less expensive program.

July 23rd

I finally booked my drivers test this week. It was a good walk to the auto pack place. It doesn't happen until the 8th of December.

August 2022

Aug 1st

I got a good start on the month and started work remastering a few pages of my comic. Nothing I' getting paid for but I feel somewhat happy while doing it.

Aug 6th

Got sent to hospital due to a serious rib injury, So I'm basically out of commission for a month or two until my ribs heal themselves. It hurts to breath to deeply, and I hope I don't get a flu or cold like this.

Aug 11th

Well I did it. I got a summer cold/flu. Not sure how but I did it.

Aug 15th

I hit 145 this month! I haven't been this weight for a long time, however because of my injury I'll probably dip back into 150s before long. I want to maintain this weight for about three months before going to the next level down of 140. So I have until Octoberish at this level. Or at least that's what I'm going to try for.

Aug 16th

I had a really lovely day with the kiddo. It rained and we took off our shoes to walk around the park. I'm feeling happy today so I made a note of it.

Aug 20th

I found and housed a Centipede today. Called them legs. -not enough insects to keep happy though.

Aug 25th

Doctor's visit and follow up on my new medication. We're all hopeful for this one. So far I haven't had any bad side effects on this one. I still hate paying for it.

Aug 31st

I bought World of Warcrafts next expansion ad some game time... not sure how I feel about this yet. XD

September 2022


Sept. 3rd

A new rush of creative juices came to me. I started a new Cosplay today. Should be a fun way to pass the time. :D

Sept. 06

I got a phone interview with one of the places I put my resume out at and got a second in person interview tomorrow. I'm extremally excited/hopeful. Although I'm trying not to be.

Sept. 08

I just got a call from one of the places, AND another interview tomorrow for a different place. I'm excited to hear from one of them.

Sept. 12

No word yet from any of the four places I interviewed at last week. I hope that changes on Monday. However, today is about my little girl. Well not so little anymore. We're going for Sushi and ice-cream for her birthday. :D

Sept. 13

Printed out some more resume's today. Hopefully I have a better time with this batch. Also re-scheduled my driver's test yesterday. I have to do it again because my instructor says I'm not ready just yet. >.<


Sept. 16

I had a second interview for one of the business's I applied to. It's going to be a stressful job if I get it, but I'll do it anyway. I have more hope for the second place I have a second interview at. Tomorrow at 4.


Sept.19

I was right! Second shift is today in a few hours. Just killing time right now. It feels odd to try and start anything productive.

Sept.27

I had a bit of a break down today. I'm so scared for the future; I hate not knowing and leaving things up in the air. I feel like a child. Helpless and stupid. All I can really do is save and hope that I can be something of what I wanted to be later.

October 2022

Oct. 7th

In the late-night hours on the seventh I made a call to someone I hold really special in my life. I told him how I felt about him, and he told me he felt the same. I've never felt so relived as I did when he said he liked me back. I've known him for twenty years. when we're together it feels so comfortable and good. I'm both happy and scared. I don't want to lose him ever. We've only just started so I don't know why I'm thinking about why I'd lose him. I don't know.

Oct. 26th

This morning when I weighed my-self I hit 140! I have seen that number since it was 2008! I'm really happy with my progress. I can't believe I hit my goal weight for this year! Next year will be 130.

November 2022

Nov. 16

Nothing really. But wanted to post.

Nov. 30

This month was bad in particular for me. I've been so down on myself for the past 4-5 years to do much of anything. This is slowly changing all around me. I hope to be back to me soon.

December 2022

Monthly Weigh in: 141.7!
(My goal for this year was 140)

Dec. 1

Called my work to see if any shifts had opened up. Nope none. It's been a month since I was scheduled. I'm seriously thinking of putting in my two weeks there.

Dec. 3

I made a choice today to stop smoking weed. I was smoking 9 joints a day and with depression and anxiety. I just need it all to stop so I can get back to work on myself and what I love doing.


Dec. 7

Mine and new beau's 2 month marker! I refuse to use "anniversary" in reference to number of months I've been dating.

Dec. 12

Logged on today to see our multi-items work again. It was good to hear from inso. I bought a new dress to celebrate.

Dec.20

I spent most of today waiting for a package. It's annoying but expected for this time of year.

Dec. 21

Shit that was the fastest solstice ever. Time you can slow a little bit down.

Dec. 26

Lots of thinking out loud today.

Dec. 27

Went to see avatar in a Fancy VIP theater with my family. It was a wonderful time.

Dec.29

I got a new job at a Deli counter.

The power of one broken mirror is unknowable, until you feel the shards.
The glass is caught in spiders silk, and a powerful spell of protection is unlocked.

I had the first disagreement with my other tonight. I said sorry for what they did because of coarse I did. Good Canadian girl. Now agree it's your fault after I claim innocent via my uncle. Duh.

They want me to not be me already. It's ok I want the same. They're coming over after. I'll give them the same respect they've shown me times three. As it's given so mote it be.

~

I've really been enjoying a lot of music lately. I used to play piano. I never went anywhere with it because lessons were expensive. If it wasn't for music and art, I would have been worse off many times over. This is a beautiful rendition of this yuletide carol. "Oh Christmas Tree"

The imagery in the video is an interesting story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOlvo9x-w8k



1:18 AM (My time)

I got an extra Christmas gift from the randoverse yesterday. I was called in for an interview from one of the many jobs I applied to. I hope I get it. Another part time job close to home while I work on my craft. The person that interviewed me asked me some of my hobbies and we started talking about WoW because they play too. It gives me hope that my gamer cred will get me the job.

Fingers crossed!

As a reward for going out into the scary public I bought myself a new flavor of bubble tea. It was called Blue Moon Latte. I love the color blue and the moon so yup had to try it. Trying new things can be scary, but with food I find it very fun to try something new.

I'm not going to say the secret of the flavour, but I was happily surprised with an old favorite I hadn't sampled in a long time. (No it wasn't blue raspberry lol that was my first guess before I sipped it)

It's been a pretty good day so far. :)


3:33 PM (My time when I started it)

I got the job! I'm SO happy about it too. I'm going to be the new Deli Person at a local supermarket. 15 mins away from home! The less time in travel between Art and other job is VERY awesome.

~

I had fun making my "spider" banner for 2023 today. The photo of our friend Sylvester I used looked scarier to me than the current one because you couldn't see his lovely eyes due to lighting. Now he can see lots of things. heheh.

6:27pm My time

I had a yummy salad for breakfast today. I like "not breakfast food" at breakfast. It sunflower seeds, cabbage (green and purple) carrot tomato with a sweet coleslaw like dressing.

I'm worried to start my new job because of the shift they want to give me. 5AM to 12PM buses aren't always dependable, and I don't like leaning on other people for rides.

~

I'm currently waiting for my other to arrive here. I both love and hate shopping. I like finding the deals but hate spending the money anyway. I'm not sure but I think my new job will call for black dress pants as well. So maybe a pair of those too. I'll aim for 2 pair of jeans and 1 slack.

I wish they still had fitting rooms in the shop. They were done away with during covid and I don't think they'll come back. It's unfortunate. They let you return items for credit though so not that bad. It's just a pain in the butt waiting until you're at home to try them.

I was at someone else's house this weekend, so I missed the end of the event. Oh well. I still had fun thrifting and hanging out with my person.

I go to orientation this Wednesday.

I'm on no sleep with somewhere to be in three hours. I started my period today, the same day as training, and I feel like shit. I want to take a nap but I don't think it'll help at this point. My heart feels heavy and I'm full of worry. I need to pull off this job. I want to drink a coffee so badly, but I know it'll make things worse in the long run when it keeps me up for days.

All I can do is listen to music and drink my morning smoothie.

Baaa I want to sleep but hungry after a long shift of work. The weather was lovely for waiting on a bus in winter. Just enough of a chill to need the jacket. I was actually colder in the store today working in and out of the freezer. Yay chopping meat.