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Kory
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#1
Old 01-18-2017, 07:52 PM


Welcome to my Jar of Potions!

Here I am going to document, at least a couple of times a month, my weight loss progress, my progress in health and wellness, my journey into veganism and my journey into becoming a better person in body, mind and spirit.

So, light some patchouli with me, let's share a kombucha, and let's celebrate our creativity and uniqueness together.

*This thread is open to posting, for those who want to join in on the journey to self love. ☮

Last edited by Kory; 01-18-2017 at 09:09 PM..

Kory
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#2
Old 01-18-2017, 09:10 PM

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January

I woke up at 11:15am, late, I know. I've been waking up later and later since the accident.

Usually, when I am home from work, staying with my mom and helping her, then life seems to just pass me by. I feel as though I lose a proper schedule and my life sort of spirals down, down into depression and my "schizophrenia" gets much worse.

Anyway, fast forward to 11:45am, I watched Les Miserables with my mom. It was fun.

Around 1:00pm we had a lawyer come over to discuss the accident. He saw the police reports and we established that the woman who hit my mom (and nearly hit me) at the crosswalk had failed to yield and was in the wrong. Next, we had to just wait until my mom got better before moving forward to press charges. It's a load of paperwork and busywork. I don't understand why these things can't be faster.

"Oh you were hit by ____? She owes you ______." It's really simple, yet they make it really difficult and technical. Clearly, anyone who hits a pedestrian is at fault, why can't they just skip all the paperwork and make her pay for my mom's medical bills?

Anyway.

2:00pm, I did pilates in my (now completely empty) room. (It's empty because I packed everything and all of my boxes are sitting in the garage right now.) After that, I lit some sage and meditated. After my meditation, I showered up, helped my mom some more and now I'm here.

I plan to spend the rest of my day making some juice for my family and cleaning out my bunny's home. Life hasn't exactly been "good" as of lately. I found out that a friend of mine who I met on a mental health forum has committed suicide. That's never "good". So far, this year has been the worst. 2016 wasn't so bad. Yes, celebrities died, but it wasn't anyone I knew personally. I always get weirded out when people get really upset over a celebrity's death, especially when they never met, and that celebrity didn't know that person existed. I understand if they touched your life in some way, but really, unless you knew them, it is not the same as losing a close friend that you knew, loved and met on a personal level.

That's just my two cents, though.

So yeah. This year sucks. My friend committed suicide the day after my birthday, my mom was hit by a car two days after my birthday...

Still, I am going to do my best to stay positive and keep a good attitude about it.

Kory
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#3
Old 02-07-2017, 09:35 PM

February


Well, as I should have known... There are assholes on the internet. I guess I've been surrounded by such nice, respectful and supportive people for so long that I've forgotten that assholes exist on the internet. In fact, that is where they mostly like to roam.

I find it very pathetic that people would hide behind their anonymity to insult other people and bring them down over absolutely nothing. I don't feel like explaining exactly what happened, as it's something I would much rather forget. But my point is, if someone can't explain themselves like an adult on the internet, they can't tell people why they are angry or support their outlandish statements, then they clearly don't need to be on certain sites and they definitely deserve to have some "Real Life" handed to their asses every once in a while.

I put up with a lot of shit online, I really do, and I take it all in stride, but I draw the line at what happened two nights ago. I think it's sad what this world is coming to... Especially feels like lately people I have considered friends have turned on me so quickly over the dumbest shit. It's surprising, but at the same time I am glad that they are showing their true colors, unfortunately, it still hurts when a person you consider a "friend" suddenly reacts to something you may have or haven't done and starts to call you childish insults.

It sucks, but whatever.

Anyway, my "schizophrenia" has been slowly, slowly getting worse. I have an emergency appointment set up with my psychiatrist. My therapist suggested to him that I have my meds increased, (just temporarily) to get rid of the voices for now. This all started to get worse since the accident. It's a load of shit all piling up. First, I have the anxiety of remembering the accident every day, replaying it in my mind like a fucking VHS, then I had ignorant people on the internet who are not mature enough to have adult conversations without throwing out a childish insult over something really dumb.

So yeah. I've been considering taking a break from the internet, as clearly I am too mature for it. But at the same time, there are a load of good people that I'd be leaving behind without an explanation, so I feel like that's a bad idea. I love the few friends that I have made online, I've gotten many wonderful gifts from friends all across the world. I've had someone make me a quilt! I've had someone send me a beautiful hippie tapestry, I've had someone send me a care package of sweets from the UK, I've met a load of beautiful people that I love.

So I feel like the best thing to do is stay online and keep making new friends who are kind, caring and supportive.

That's all I can do at this point.

Kory
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#4
Old 03-12-2017, 12:37 AM

March

My dad and I just saw "Logan" and it was pretty good. Considering that I'm not a huge Wolverine fan and I haven't seen any of the other Wolverine movies, I thought it wasn't too bad or hard to understand. Though some of the surprises did not come as a shock to me.

I'm trying to think of all the ways I can update this since last month....
Well, I was discharged from inpatient treatment (again) on the 6th of this month, then I am also applying for SSI. Which, I'm very, very nervous about. I hardly make any money and I feel like for the time being, while I can't work every day SSI would help me a load. Especially since I am technically disabled because of my schizophrenia. It's just a matter of proving it to the SSI people...

I've heard some people say that it can take up to a year to get approved. (But I think that's because of appeals and such) On the other hand, someone I know was approved in two months with schizoaffective disorder! So I have hope!

I'm doing my best to keep up with all of my roleplays, but I've been finding it hard because of my mental health. I can barely focus on things and I've been getting tired and easily drained from the littlest of things. :(

It's going to snow loads tomorrow! I'm excited but sad at the same time because my parents and their friends and I were going to go to Parade of Homes. (Which, in case you don't know what that is, is a set of different, brand new homes that haven't been bought yet that are open and furnished for people to see and consider buying, we aren't planning on living in MN for long, but we enjoy getting ideas for how to furnish our own homes by looking at the houses on the parade.) I was pretty stoked to see some lovely homes, especially the million dollar ones.

My mom is getting stronger, she is going to start physical therapy soon. Definitely looking forward to that. At the same time, I'm pretty nervous for her. I wonder who will drive her to her appointments. I have a permit, so I've been driving her to her doctor's appointments, but with physical therapy it will be more frequent I'd guess. Well, I shouldn't really complain, but I think the stress of driving her around all the time is part of what drove my symptoms to get worse and prompted my admission to the hospital.

Anyway, I think that's all I am going to add for today.

Kory
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#5
Old 04-20-2017, 11:01 PM

April

Well, I'm still alive. I guess that should count for something. I haven't done much in the passed month. I went to California and that was fun. But stressful... Fun but stressful. I ended up having some awful times there and some really, really great times too.

I guess it's up to me to choose whether the glass is half empty or half full. I am going to go with half full for now. I am just writing this so that I can keep everything up to date. But really, I don't have much to add. If I think of anything else I will add it underneath this post, but other than that. I'm just glad I remembered to update this before things got too busy and I forget.

Kory
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#6
Old 10-05-2017, 11:12 PM

October

So much has happened since the last time I wrote in this!

Firstly, I noticed that back in March I wrote about applying for SSI.
Well, I got it. :D It was a big surprise too because most people who apply for SSI don't get it on their first try, but I did. It was such a relief. Now I can afford my own food, afford to pay rent to my parents, and I can even afford things like medical bills and medications. (Should my insurance decide to not cover it)

Also, we have a buyer for our house. Their offer was... okay. It's not a bad offer, but my parents were hoping for more, considering our house is the best lot in the neighborhood. So we are still having showings and such to see if we can get a higher offer. I don't mind the showings, but I was really excited that we got someone to buy our house, I thought it would be the end of the showings and that meant that we could start putting things away.

We were going to go to LA for the Stan Lee comic con this year, but so far we have to get a closing date on our house before we go back to LA. Which, means that we'll probably miss the comic con and you know what? I'm okay with that. I was hoping to meet (Christian) the man I met from elsewhere on the interwebz there this month, but I don't think I will be able to make it. :c

Everything is getting so busy, it's really boiling down to the last wire now. We should be out of here by winter, which, excites me because I was hoping to spend one more winter here in Minnesota. (Hopefully with snow!) But otherwise, I am very ready to leave.

I found my journal... Which means, that I have at least two months of hospital letters and journal entries from those times that I've gone to the hospital since having the journal. I think I am going to make a memory jar next year and add my hospital letters into it.

 


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