RANDOM - The Perfect Couple Part II

However, there's hardly ever ideal circumstances. One will usually never find two independents together. One is usually needy. It's usually an unbalanced relationship. One helps put the other one back together and be able to walk, and they walk together. But they don't fly. The drama of just being able to walk again is enough for them.

And then there are the couples that must both learn to walk. It's a difficult process for them because there's no real example to follow. Often times it ends badly with both of them lost, too desperate, too needy. And they just keep taking from each other and give nothing back. And it drains both sides and pretty soon they decide to just go back to crawling around by themselves. It's too hard to live like this.

However, when the two learn how to walk together, it's a beautiful thing. The two are just as strong as those who fly. Of course, it could always happen so that it would be like the unbalanced relationship with only one walking on their own.

more more? I am so addicted to the answer to my words it is insane, i should be sleeping ,but am not again. Then again I migth just be addicted to your words and your drabble.

RANDOM - The Perfect Couple Part III

Of course, you can always learn how to fly later.

It's just that it's not necessary to have someone to learn how to walk with someone. It doesn't hurt things. It's just that you have to learn how to walk before you learn how to fly.

And you can't learn how to fly alone. Flying is something beyond oneself. It's a strange an incredible experience. It's an entirely different dimension that can only be gained through another person.

You can't fly alone. It would be too lonely. You'll fall and start walking again. You'll live. You'll be just fine. But you may feel like dying because you'll know that fine just isn't good enough. You've tasted the sky and can't help but yearn to go back.

But you can't go back alone.

You'll have to learn how to fly all over again.

RANDOM - What's between us. (Part II)

We may really not be the same at all.

You see, I'm very impressionable and I tend to mimic what I see. My nature is completely different from a year ago when I thought I loved someone else. I copy and pattern myself after the things I adore. It's a type of flattery, I guess.

It's happened so many times that I'm not really sure about myself anymore. I change so often and so much. Pretty boys with bad attitudes don't have a very good effect on me.

So you see, there really may be nothing between us at all, since there was a time when I once thought I loved you long, long, long ago.

But of course, I can't just discard all of these changes. They've become a part of me. They are me. I am still myself. I've just changed. There's no going back. I am who I am and with myself as is I am like you.

...That is confusing. I wouldn't blame you for yelling at me for overanalyzing again.

Reflection Drabble - (not really a drabble but a reaction to my past work and perhaps an analyzation of it. ...yeah, I'm weird.)

It started out nicely with nice defined characters and set scenes in stories that I could write later. Then it became scattered with musings and thoughts, but there were still coherent stories in there. The characters become nameless and less defined--only referred to as he or she or the boy or the girl.

Soon the stories are narrated in first person and the distinction between musings and stories becomes blurred. There are times when I wonder which is which.

And now it seems that stories are almost completely gone. The drabbles are predominantly my thoughts on an issue or something that's happening in my life. They're becoming more and more true. ...of course, I don't write literal truth. I'm still too paranoid for that. After all, someday, somehow, other people could start reading this. They could figure it out.

I don't know why that would be a bad thing for one so secretive. Someone would finally know. I seldom tell people these things. Secrets hidden in these stories are not completely known by one single soul. Some know a few and some know parts, but know one knows everything. And they hardly figure out from my telling. I'm not a talkative person. I'm a writer. If you're really determined to get inside my head, read my work.

Of course, I'm probably not going to talk you about it much. Like the elusive writer who communicates mostly through the written word, I will become shy when confronted and mutter something incoherent to put you off. Because I really don't want to talk about it.

I won't talk about it unless I'm forced to. And forcing me to admit something usually comes with a lot of badgering and a conclusive guess followed by a confirming nod on my side. I'll probably never actually say it.

...and this is turning out to be more of a reflection on my nature instead of the change of style in my drabbles. Bah. Huzzah for psyrien going on tangents. Oh well. I wrote something.

RANDOM - Ice

"You know, I really like the ice here." Gate swirled his glass around and ice chips clinked. He tilted the glass back, knocking back the ice like it was hard liquor.

"Ahhh," he sighed.

Ryft put down his own drink and looked at him in mild question.

"You don't get ice like this back home. Here it turns nice and white and soft after it's sat in the glass for awhile. Back home it's clear and hard, and it stays that way all the time."

"Huh?"

"See this here." He dangled his glass of ice in Ryft's face. "This is perfect. It's melted off that clear, hard shell, but still has a decent amount of white ice left. And the white ice is the best. It's soft, and it gives under your teeth. It's just so satisfying."

Gate then demonstrated by knocking back more ice. An almost euphoric grin lit his face, and he sighed happily.

"You," Ryft stated, "are weird."

Gate looked at him in a strangely wolfish way and shrugged. "Or just drunk."

RANDOM - Like highschoolers Part I

"Tell meeeeee."

"No. And stop being so childish, Missy."

Missy pouted and pulled on Sellah's sleeve. "But I'm not being childish," she whined. "I have a perfectly good reason for being bothersome."

"And that is?"

"You liked someone and you won't tell me who!" Missy exclaimed.

"And this is new how?"

"Sellah~," she pulled on the sleeve for emphasis, "how is this not new? You're the girl who doesn't know what a bouquet of flowers means and hides away in her room to sew all day. You seem romantically inept. You liking someone is very new."

Sellah sighed. "Okay, fine. You have a point."

"Yay!" Missy clapped her hands and giggled. "So who is it?"

RANDOM - Like highschoolers Part II

"I'm not telling."

"But why, Sellah? You must! I've told you who I liked!"

"I didn't demand that of you. You told me on your own free will. Besides, I don't like him anymore. I gave up because I couldn't have him."

"Oh?" Missy raised her eyebrows. "Now I don't believe that."

"It's over, Missy. I don't like him anymore."

"No, not that part."

"Then what?"

"The part of you not being able to have him."

"Pshaw."

"No, don't you "pshaw" me. I find it hard to believe that you couldn't have anyone that you liked."

Sellah blinked. "Oh Missy, you're such a flatterer."

"I'm not flattering, Sellah. It's true. Just because you don't look at yourself doesn't mean that other people don't."

Sellah turned to look at Missy. There was a wondering expression in her eyes but then it vanished. She turned back and shook her head.

"Oh well, it's all over now. Besides, it was just infatuation."

RANDOM - Like highschoolers Part III

"Infatuation insmatuation. How do you know it wasn't real?"

"Missy, this isn't the first time I've fallen for someone."

"And what happened?"

"...nothing."

"Why not?"

"Because I couldn't have them!"

"Why?"

"...because I never did anything about it."

"See!" Missy said triumphantly.

"But if it were real, I would've known. And if it were real, I would be moved to do something. Honestly," Sellah said quickly to stop Missy's impending lecture.

Missy looked at her quizzically then sighed. "Well, alright. If you say so. Just remember, you could have anyone of your fancy, you know. You're not so out of league as you think."

RANDOM - Unavailable

"I'm surprised. I thought that you could just have whoever you liked."

Hah. Funny.

Is that supposed to mean that I'm a "good catch" or something? Or am I so incredibly pretty that boys will be blinded by my radiant beauty and love me no matter what? Or do I just have such an adorably winning personality that draws all to my side?

I'm sorry, but I noticed none of the above happening.

But I suppose the words are somewhat true in a way. If I had honestly liked you, I could have had you. However, I can write it off as infatuation and leave it to the wind.

But the words are also false. I cannot have anyone that I want. Those that I want are not free. They aren't all already taken by others but are taken nonetheless. There are the girlfriends of work, school, and art. There is no place for me there. They are just as much unavailable as those who already have actual girlfriends.

And thus, I cannot have him.

RANDOM - Another Fairy Tale Story because they're fun to write. xD Part I

But my dear, opportunity never knocks twice—
only once… or thrice.

Mara shook out a blue shirt, remembering her aunt’s scolding about pixies. She smiled wryly. Her grandmother had been terribly superstitious and obsessed with Faerie. Many of the family became irritated with her antics. Mara and her younger sister Freya were the only two who humored her.

However, Freya had only believed because she had been young, and youth was the gate that allowed Freya to believe in strange, fantastical tales. As Freya grew up the gate closed, and she too became irritated with her aunt.

Mara had never quite believed her aunt, but she had allowed her to go on all the same. Perhaps that was why all the others left—they had actually believed and were crushed when their dreams didn’t come true. Mara shook her head. Such foolishness.

Of course one couldn’t believe in those tales of Faerie. However, one could humor an old dear who was clearly deserted by sense in old age.

But that had been over three months ago.

RANDOM - Another Fairy Tale Story because they're fun to write. xD Part II

Mara shook a lilac skirt, not thinking of smoothing out the wrinkles but thinking of the trickster pixies.

About three months ago, Mara’s aunt had disappeared—disappeared, not died. No one knew what became of her, and no one really bothered to find out. The most they did was joke that the Faerie had finally come to spirit the old bat away like she had always proclaimed.

Life was exactly the same. People mocked Mara’s aunt, and Mara went on doing the housework in her aunt’s now empty house.

Mara stopped shaking the skirt and shook her head instead. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Silly habits…�

She folded the rest of the laundry without shaking out another piece.

* * *

RANDOM - Another Fairy Tale Story because they're fun to write. xD Part III

“Mara! Open up Mara!� A frantic knocking battered at the little house’s door.

“Freya? What are you doing here?� Mara had opened the door to reveal her sister, as lovely as ever. Freya’s face was flushed and her golden hair was tousled gently by the wind. Any other person would have looked rumpled, but Freya had a beauty that proclaimed such effortlessness.

“Oh Mara, you must come. You simply must.� Freya clasped her sister’s hand affectionately like she was about to reveal a great secret. “Do say you’ll come, Mara.�

“Stop it, Freya,� Mara scolded gently. She took her hand back and smoothed nonexistent wrinkles from her apron. “I will not be coming until you cease your overexcited prattle to tell me what I must be coming to.�

Freya laughed that tinkling little laugh of hers. “How silly of me. You must come to Three Leaf,� she said simply, as if that explained everything.

“Freya, if I wanted a drink, I could walk to the well or the spring up the path. I needn’t go all the way to Three Leaf.�

Freya gave her one of those looks—the kind that made Mara sure she had missed out on some sort of lesson in the classy talk of innuendo—the sort filled with nudges and winks—particularly like the one Freya was giving her now.

“Mara, you sly thing, don’t play coy with me. Perhaps you have chosen to hide your mysterious lover from the rest of the town, but you mustn’t keep such a secret from me.�

RANDOM - Another Fairy Tale Story because they're fun to write. xD Part IV

Mara looked flabbergasted. "My what?"

"Why, your lover, darling! The man with those enchanting eyes that send shivers down your spine—well, I haven’t actually seen his eyes as he won’t remove that dreadful hood, but you can feel shivers when you think he’s looking at you!"

Mara shook her head. And of course Freya has no idea who this man is… "And what makes you say that this man is my lover?"

"He asked for you!" Freya gave her another one of those looks.

Perfectly insensible. Irritated, Mara turned from the door and walked over to a pile of laundry.

"Oh, Mara, you’ll say you’ll come, won’t you?" Freya followed her.

She shook out a tablecloth sharply. Out you go pixies!

"Pixies?"

----

A/N: Bugger. I just realized the formatting is all weird. That's the last time I'm typing my drabble in word first. ...well, I'll limit myself to only doing it when there's no internet. xD

...oh, nevermind. The format is fine. I think I'm just losing my mind. o_0

RANDOM - Another Fairy Tale Story because they're fun to write. xD Part V

"Oh…" Mara realized she had said the last of her thoughts out loud. "I mean—"

"Mara, you don’t really believe in Aunt’s babble, do you? I always warned you that it was dangerous to humor her. Now you’re staying cooped up in her little hut all alone and it’s starting to take over. You ought to come to town and stay with me and Freddie."

"It’s just habit, Freya." She refolded the tablecloth and set it down.

"But that’s just it! You’re all alone with no one to talk to but the memory of Aunt! And before you know it, habit will become so ingrained in you that you’ll become just like her! Why don’t you come with me today? It will be a wonderful change. Perhaps the man--if he is not your lover as you claim--will take an interest to you."

"No Freya. I have no wish for anyone to take an interest to me. I am quite content here, and here I shall stay."

"But—"

"Do not worry your pretty head. I promise you that I think of Aunt’s words as nothing more than tales of Faerie."

Freya gave her another one of those looks, but one of a slightly different sort.

Mara simply smiled and led her to the door. "Fret not dear sister. Perhaps you can ensnare that dashing stranger with your charm and have a splendidly entertaining love triangle if you hurry back."

Freya walked down the lane but turned to look back. The look was still on her face.

* * *

RANDOM

Unhealthy Addiction

Is it bad that my heart quickens for you?
That it can't help but leap at the sight of you
That it simply races away,
So that it escapes me completely.

Is it bad that my heart stops for you?
That it's never seen something like you before
That it can't help but be overwhelmed
And I don't know quite what to do.

Is it bad that my heart beats for you?
That what was once a certain heartbeat
Seems to be doubtful outside of your presence
And it feels like I very well may die
If I were to lose you.

It's illogical; it's crazy; it's downright unhealthy.
How can something like that be good?


------

A/N: Poetry! Poetry! Why am I writing poetry? @_@ I hate writing poetry. I really don't know what's come over me. >_>

RANDOM - Silly, silly girl Part I

It's a bad time. Really. I should know better. One would think that it's common sense to not start falling for a guy right before you're about to leave him and never see him again for five months.

Then again, there isn't anything very common about common sense.

But I should know better.

And it wasn't very intentional. Not at all. It's just that today I suddenly noticed that I do have my own way of flirting. I've just been oblivious to it all these years. It isn't very flamboyant or winning but it gets attention. It's simply that I whine to the object of my attentions--a lot. I noticed that I had been doing it to this guy more than usual today; I mean, I generally whine to everyone, but it seemed like I was running to him more than usual. And there's absolutely no reason for it!

Yes, he is a pretty asian boy with very nice hair (he actually once had hair similar to mine with some random long strands in the back that looked really cool, but he had to cut them off or wear a hairnet... I think he chose the right choice, as I think seeing him in a hairnet might be scarring xD). However, it's not just that he's a pretty asian boy with very nice hair. I may be shallow, but not so shallow.

I don't know. I just think he's really sweet. And he's just so good. ...but see there's really no point in thinking these things as it will go absolutely nowhere for the next five months.

For goodness sakes, I don't even know his last name! I've worked with him for two years and don't know it yet--well, I think I did, but I just forgot it. Hey, it's been a long time.

RANDOM - Silly, silly girl Part II

But then maybe I'm fooling myself. Perhaps I'm not really falling for him but am simply missing him, and the pain of having to leave him behind causes a psychological thing that makes me think I must cling to him.

o_0

I don't know, but I think it's possible. I could be tricking myself or something.

I just don't know what's real, and there's no time to find out. Meh.

I mean, I guess I could stalk him if I really wanted to know. I have my ways, and I do have a link to him that I could exploit if I really wanted to get in contact with him. However, I would have to then pour my heart out to that person, and I don't think my pride would allow me to do that. ...of course I could simply exploit the link with a fake story or something.

But it all seems like far too much work for something far too silly. I'm not that far gone to give up my heart and soul for the guy.

I just wonder...

That's all.

And all I can really conclude is that I'm a silly, silly girl.

RANDOM - Winter Part I

I have not honestly experienced seasons until now. My entire life had previously consisted of summer, spring, and perhaps a hint of fall. There was no winter. It was always warm. Maybe it rained on occasion, and sometimes the wind blew. However, it was never bone chilling, skin stinging cold like this. There was never ice. There was never a time too cold for snow. Such things were unfathomable.

Because I've never known the cold, I've never really appreciated the warmth. Yes, I've been told that my home was a beautiful place and all, but I've never really loved it before. I guess it's true when they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. The thing you love must actually be taken away for you to realize what you're missing. You may half know that it is worth something, but you will never really know until it is gone.

I didn't.

Before I used to say my favorite season was winter. I loved the cold. I found it exhilarating. I loved it in the night when the cold was brisk and the wind howled in my ears when I ran through the fields playing tag. It's like the feeling I have before thunderstorms. It's that heady rush when I smell the fresh scent of rain and the air is pregnant with the impending storm. It's on the verge of something so crazy and huge. It's the only something that could make people so mad as to tempt the lightning and dance in the puddles. I've forever wanted to capture that feeling and have it forever. I wish I could bottle a thunderstorm or the cold.

I still love that feeling, but it no longer comes with every cold wind that blows. It happens all too often and far too inconveniently now for me to fall madly in love with it every single time it happens. It would be like being on drugs, and while it's like a drug for me, I wouldn't be able to physically be that giddy all the time. See, like a drug, each high comes with a crash.

RANDOM - Winter Part II

It's become a hindrance--an inconvenience. My love has been taken to the extreme, and I suddenly can't stand him anymore. It's too much. I can't appreciate him without his lack.

I no longer swoon when I see him. Instead, I wince. I do not long to feel his biting touch upon my face. I bundle up and hide myself from him.

How has my love turned to this?

Oh lover! You have forced me to turn to another. This was your fault and none other's, but I must flee to your rival. For your rival is your opposite, and the only sanctuary from one extreme is the other. You have chased me to the sun, and I have fallen madly in love with him.

How can I help myself?

But I now can feel that crazy heady rush in the sunlight as well. It's crazy. It's like I can lift my head to the light and feel like I'm king of the world when before I had only felt like wilting under the sun's murderous rays. Now it's like feeling a lover's embrace.

RANDOM - Winter Part III

As for my favorite, I guess I can't truly say.

I don't think I could ever love one without the other. It's something where I will always love the one that I cannot have. It takes it's absence for me to love it.

Yes, I've realized I am that way. I'll only realize that I love something right when I cannot have it.

Or perhaps I may string my two lovers on a chain and leave to court others. Spring and Fall are a mix of the two. Perhaps I may deal better with them than the extremes. Or perhaps I may simply add two new links to my chain, always loving the one I cannot have.

----
A/N: This expanded from a Winter drabble. I swear, if I make my drabbles long enough, I go on these huge tangents. ...and I'm starting to notice I always seem to personify things as "lovers." o_0 It's not something psychological, I swear. xD ...it's just that "lovers" are such a wonderful thing to personify things as; it just seems to fit so many situations.

RANDOM - Flying

You know what drives me insane?

The fact that I haven't really truly fallen for anyone yet. Okay, yeah, so I have lots of time left. Eighteen really isn't all that old. But come on. There's never been anyone that I've seriously been tempted by.

There have been crushes and the whatnot, but I've found those to all be infatuation. There was never anything that actually drove me to do crazy things. ...Maybe I'm just a late bloomer or something. I don't know.

I don't really know what I'm waiting for. I'm not exactly sure what I want. All I know is that this isn't something I can go hunting for. It's not called hunting for love. It's not something that you can take down in the forest and drag back home to display on your mantel. Love is more like that hole in the ground that you didn't see and fall into. It's something unstoppable and not findable. You will never be able to find it in a million years if you scour every inch of the earth for it. It's not the right mindset. You'll never really be sure if it's actually love or something that you just convinced yourself of. Love is something that you have to fall into.

Yeah. I know it takes effort. I know it's not just going to happen on it's own. Some incredibly pretty guy isn't going to fall out of the sky and land conveniently uninjured and outside my window to serenade me. That would be absurd. It would be incredibly amusing and flattering, but it would still be absolutely absurd.

I love absurdity, but I know it won't happen. Ah, if only...

Well, hey, I'm not exactly hiding away like a hermit either. I'm living as I would. I fine. It's not something I really need, but it's something I want. It would just be that much more. After all, what's life when you've only been fine but never extraordinary? What's life when you've walked but never flown?

I would like to fly...

RANDOM - Home

I'm coming to learn that home really isn't a place. Well, it partly is, but it relies upon much more than just the place. Certainly the place sets the mood, but it's the people who can change it.

I'm also coming to learn that as much as I would like to say I'm independent and don't really need socialization, I need it. I don't need to hang out for the entire day or anything crazy like that. I just need to be able to see people and be myself around them. It doesn't have to be for long. It's just that after a long day, I want to see people. I would like a hug, but that doesn't always work. It's okay. As long as I can see my "family" it feels like home.

Ah, I like home, it is nice,and i agree with alot of it and feel the same. Now off to write a drabble in response i think. See ya in class.

RANDOM - To My Love

Dear my love,

Well, firstly, you're not really my love. I just refer to you as that--out of sarcasm, out of fondness, out of a freudian slip. My love, you puzzle me. I don't know quite what to make of you.

Rather, I don't know what to make of myself for you. I'm pretty certain on who you are, but of me--not so much.

I don't know, my love. I wish I could hold onto you, but if you are truly my love you will come back to me--not that you were actually mine to begin with. However, it remains that I cannot hold to you.

I do wonder if you actually give ownership. Some people don't. It's a difficult thing. You, I would envision your giving of ownership as the sweetest thing. It would just be adorable--whoever you gave it to--it's just because of your nature--it would be so contradictory.

I wish I were allowed to love you. I wish I actually might. I would love you, my love, if I could. ...If that makes any sense at all.

However, you are not my only for I have many lovers that woo me and beckon me to come. And so you, you I will leave.

For now at least.

Good bye, my love.