I love to write poems so I'll be posting my poetry here. I generally like to write sonnets, but this first one isn't one. In fact, it's free verse.

Soul Mate

Remember me even when the stars go out,
Everlasting love will always prevail for you and I,
Made from the light which brings hope,
Understanding, chivarous, and true are you,
Reaching for you I am for I need you so,
I will believe in you if you believe in me,
Eager to see you, touch you, and kiss you I am,
Let me be your everything for you are my everything.

Originally Posted by Mirielle195

I love to write poems so I'll be posting my poetry here. I generally like to write sonnets, but this first one isn't one. In fact, it's free verse.

Soul Mate

Remember me even when the stars go out,
Everlasting love will always prevail for you and I,
Made from the light which brings hope,
Understanding, chivarous, and true are you,
Reaching for you I am for I need you so,
I will believe in you if you believe in me,
Eager to see you, touch you, and kiss you I am,
Let me be your everything for you are my everything.

Not being mean, but...

Go through and use grammar. There are no sentences here at all and at one part I can't even make sense of what's suppose to be going on. This is literally what it reads like::

Remember me even when the stars go out, everlasting love will always prevail for you and I, made from the light which brings hope, understanding, chivarous, and true are you, reaching for you I am for I need you so, I will believe in you if you believe in me, eager to see you, touch you, and kiss you I am, let me be your everything for you are my everything.

Do you get that??? Especially the part highlighted in red. 1) this is so jambled up because there are no sentences. 2) commas are not periods. 3)There is no imagery. 4) It's cliche... 5) You write sonnets so you must know how to use stronger language. SO USE IT.


If you want something more indepth, I can give you links.

I am sorry if there are grammatical errors in it, but there is a reason for me writing it like that. And it really did come from my heart. I truly wasn't trying to be cliche.

Originally Posted by Mirielle195

I am sorry if there are grammatical errors in it, but there is a reason for me writing it like that. And it really did come from my heart. I truly wasn't trying to be cliche.

Every poem comes from the heart. Doesn't matter what it's about. You should never apologize for your work, also.

However, without the proper grammar where it's needed did you realize when I backed everything up how hard it was to understand? It didn't really make too much sense, did it? If you're going to post something then make sure it's something your readers can follow. If I can't, I know most of the others here can't.

Also, something you need to understand is EVERY SUBJECT IS CLICHE. How you write about it is what takes that element away.

Hehe, I never expect people to understand my poetry. It's just how I feel and this is the way I express it. I am a pretty complex person. Here's my latest sonnet.

A Light at the End

My destiny is to walk in darkness,
Illuminate I must for everyone,
For the world is filled with great emptyness,
I shall not stop 'til my duty is done.

I will admit I am a little scared,
Who wouldn't be in my situation,
But my will is so strong it can't be barred,
This is my wish and my resolution.

I must be frugal and very cautious,
With hope, faith, love as my companions,
I will stand up to that which is heinous,
Even if their forces are in millions.

This road I travel on will have pitfalls,
But there's a light at the end for us all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like I said, this is just simply how I felt at the time. And it is in Iambic pentameter. I always count hehe.