11-28-2008, 11:40 AM
Time
Written by: woopdidoodoo
This is for the second theme of the writing contest ^^
I hope it is fitting, even though the rest of the story is
made up, it is actually about my cat, and more like his personality
I understand the meaning of it is obscure but he did give me "life"
and so I am thankful to him and so the story kind of explains that
in a way
Six months ago, time being what it is stretched out before me, like a pathway or a highway that directed you. As mundane as that sounds in my head I know it’s a direction that I had to follow. I now sit sipping wine underneath a canopy of leaves whilst I’m being bathed in moonlight. I’m wearing nothing, feeling everything around me yet I feel nothing on the inside. The light dapples between shadows and plays tricks on my eyes as I stare unseeingly. Time is just a passage of moments strung together by thoughts, actions, nothing. Numbness floats through my body like fingers of pins and needles, slicing through my flesh, my blood, my organs, and my heart. My eyelids flutter, telling me that it’s time to go home. I started Running, getting scratched by branches, thorns; insects biting my skin on the way. Reaching my destination I slip quietly through the door; and into my chamber and climb into bed as if it never happened.
Everything feels dream like even though I’ve not shut my eyes one last time for sleep, my heart is slowing, and my intake of breath is getting shallower. Finally I shut down, and my sleep is imageless. The next day dawns, my eyes flutter open and I stare at my bedroom roof wondering what time it is. I’ve never had a clock in my room as I like to keep time my own. As contradictory as that sounds it somehow works for me until I’m running late for something that’s supposedly meant to be important. The light told me it was mid morning, my favorite time of day. Drawing in the sights of my bedroom I smile ruefully at some of my childhood mementos. Another passage of time, the never ending cycle of life. I had to go to the toilet, moving swiftly to the door I make my way into the hallway that’s still shrouded in semi-darkness. I hear the padded footsteps of my mother in the kitchen. The rest of the house is quiet.
My cat meowed and slunk off in the opposite direction as I feel the tension back in my chest again. Heading to the bathroom, I hear my father mumbling behind his bedroom door. Reaching the bathroom, I sigh with relief and squat on the toilet to tend to my business. Finishing I wash my hands and stare at my reflection in the cracked and dusty bathroom mirror. My green eyes stare back, flecked with brown. They can look hazel, gray, or green depending on what I’m wearing or the time of day. My hair falls limply just below my shoulders and is the color of corn. Freckles dotted my slightly too- big nose and my lips are turned down. They are not quite full but they are not quite thin enough to give the impression of thinness of character. My figure is not what it should be, but it is what it is. Washing my hands I then wash my face and decide that it’s time to face the parents and deal with the day ahead.
The scent of bacon and eggs assail my nostrils but I head for the kettle to make myself a cup of strong coffee. Spooning in the coffee and then the sugar, I finally take a look at mother and take an inward gasp. A bruise on her right eye badly covered with makeup, obviously left from father, made her flinch away from my concerned gaze. There were no words said, I know it’s been too long for my mother to ever want things to change in their reality. I knew what I had to do, but in doing this I knew that mother could not ever know. This horrible pattern had been going on too long. He once had hit me and he never did again after I fought back. He just stares at me, but never will he pay me any attention. I ignore him as best as I can, but when he does something to my Mother like that, it cuts me so deep. There is so much happening in this household, but you wouldn’t know it by just watching. The house is full of energy, pulsating, generating, but at the same time it feels like the people in here are slowly dying. On the outside, everything looks normal, almost pleasant. I know for a fact that some of us sometimes wish that they really were dead. But keeping on is the motto for the Silver belt family, as ironic as that sounds. I walk back to my bedroom and lock myself in and stare out the window unseeingly. Charging my strength with animalistic anger I run my hand through my hair and breathe in deeply. I had to be calm, dedicated and completely invisible to be able to pull this off. Knowing what had to be done I had to center myself so that I could think clearly and calmly.
Respectfully, it’s not something I usually do but this couldn’t be done rashly or as a quick job so that I could run away and hide like a coward. Silently I slipped some medication out from my drawer and held them in my hand, weighing them as if they were precious stones. I looked at their cleanness and wondered would death be as easy as that, slipping away into nothing. Placing the pills back into the drawer, I wondered when could be my chance; it would most likely have to be when dad took his medication for his blood pressure. Taking them out again, I placed them in my top pocket and walked back out to the kitchen. My mum and dad was sitting at the kitchen table acting as if nothing was wrong between them, as if they were playing happy family for me, like I was a nine year old girl instead of a nineteen year old woman. Dad rose and went to the bench where he kept his medication.
I “accidentally” bumped into him and he dropped his pills and I placed mine into his hand to take whilst quickly stepping on the one he had dropped so as to conceal them. He swallowed and went back to his breakfast. I glanced at him as I sipped my cup of coffee, glad that my fringe was able to conceal this act. I wondered how long the medication was meant to take. I should have asked when I placed the order; the internet was such a wonderful invention. My eyelids fluttered, the only sign of nervousness as my Dad suddenly paled. Mum reached out to him but it was too late, he grabbed his arm and passed out on the floor, cold. I checked his pulse and he was dead. Later that day, after he had been taken, they had said it was a mix up of medication and was easily done with how much he drinks as alcohol confuses the mind. My mother glanced at me during this conversation with an odd knowing look.
Taking control, was a satisfying sensation, I looked away and headed back to my bedroom. My mind raced, whilst taking control of another I realized that I had only lost control of the one I cared most for… Something however was different; I didn’t feel as if I was myself anymore. I was out of control, but still being me. It was an interesting feeling to have.
"Darling one”
I whipped my head around, someone was here, and someone was with me, but where?
“Darling please just listen,”
I cocked my head to an angle and listened.
“Now we are together we will be fine.”
I wondered where the voice was coming from. I was scared but calm all at once, somehow I knew I’d be fine.
“Haithe is with you now darling as you have gotten rid of the rotten one.”
I nod slowly, understanding just as quickly.
“Jeuden we call him don’t we?”
I felt his soothing words like one would feel a down poor of rain.
My mother was in the kitchen still, and I was stalking through house like a cat on the hunt.
“Jeuden wouldn’t have survived anyway, you know that?”
the tone of voice was smooth, like silk. I trembled but not from fear.
“You knew that he was the one corrupting you, he was going to take you away from me.”
I hugged myself, as if I was trying to hold onto him.
“Don’t be frightened, nothing can hurt you now that I am with you.”
I sighed happily. It was lulling me into a feeling of contentment which I hadn’t felt for a long, long time. And isn’t it all about time? Time to breathe, time to feel, time to be, time to do what you needed to do. In a way it’s what the world revolved around, but somehow I felt that as wrong. I look around, and find myself wanting to be with the one that mattered to me the most. Curling my fingers around my hair I walk briskly to my bed, sighing with relief.
Even though I loved him, I knew he was to blame for what I had done, in a way both of us were condemned. Haithe and I couldn’t be unless my father had been killed, I smiled at Haithe as he twitched his tail over the pillow. His glowing eyes showed how wise he was. He was my God; he was the only one I believed in. In this world where peace didn’t seem as if it existed. I felt him purring, slowly at first but then it felt as if the sound was rushing through his body. Just him being there made me feel special, I never felt that way without him. Closing my eyes I silently slipped into sleep, the feeling of blackness coming over me. Warmth spread through my body as I finally saw Haithe as who he really was. A man, no, more than a man, he was powerful, strong, yet compassionate where he had to be. It wasn’t his fault that the people he ruled was controlled by emotion, havoc and destruction. Not really.
Even though in my dreams he was human he still looked like the cat. I knew in my own physical realm. He had jet black skin, blue eyes that danced like crystals, dark brown hair and he even had two little horns that came out from his skull. I looked at these and realized they would have been the cat’s ears. I saw my father in that dream but not in his bodily appearance, his skin was snowy white in color, red eyes like the devil, black as night hair, and a horn stuck out from the centre of his fore head. I noted that Haithe was the one controlling him. This was his world and he was really trapped, a victim at his controllers mercy. I felt at home in his world, under his gaze, in his arms, I was able to be me. Time ticked on, and its seemingly endless persistence lulled me deeper in a sense of nothingness. In this world I was able to see who I really was, I was able to see who Haithe really was.
Suddenly I knew what I had to do, I had to be with him, whatever the case he was my soul mate. Life had always felt overrated to me, I never knew what my journey was meant for until Haithe came into my life. In a form as a kitten at first, but then he slowly evolved into who he was now. When he first came into my life I saw the world change in front of me as he changed. He grew and my world grew as well, but now I knew it had to come to an end. All good things do, looking at Haithe I knew we couldn’t be together unless it happened. He knew it as well; the look in his eyes told me more than what words could explain. That’s how it was between us, a connection like nothing else I’ve ever felt, and it worked. It had always felt like a long, lonely walk until he showed up.
I remember it well, a wet and raining day, storms, not a day where a cat would normally be out in that weather. I had stretched my hand out to him and he sniffed it at first and then slowly wound himself around my wrist, his tail draped almost at my elbow. Before he had arrived I had always felt as if I was falling. From what I don’t know as it wasn’t an actual height level. But there was a never ending sense that I would be doomed to fall in this destructive world. Everything I owned was in my bedroom it was my realm, my inner sanctum. And soon enough my eyes opened and I was back inside my room, with Haithe the cat purring beside me. His Godly representation had turned into wispy puffs of smoke and then gone. Sitting up slowly, my eyes are open and I stretch my body into relaxation. If only my mind can be relaxed, but no, it stretches out in my minds’ eye like an abyss.
Looking around I can see that everything is the same but I knew that my whole point of being here would be changed forever. I checked the clock on the painted wall and then checked my watch. I started the timer and it ticked off the time like someone counting school children on a bus. Looking from left to right I’m suddenly feeling very edgy and paranoid. I just know I have to get this right otherwise it wasn’t going to happen at all, I sigh ruefully to myself. Haithe watches me with a knowing look but for now I pretend as if I’m ignoring him. I can imagine what he is thinking, if it’s not done properly then it’s not worth doing at all. I have to admit that with this one thought I agree with him but I won’t admit it. Preparing myself, I collect what I need and put it in a handbag as if I was preparing to go out. Impressions were important, I didn’t want mother to think anything different.
Haithe follows me, padding behind me with a watchful eye which feels as if it’s scoring into the middle of my back. He always had that effect on me, I’ve been with him for years now but it always felt like there were sparks between us. I wondered how it would be when this was complete. I shook my head to clear the thoughts as I had to be alert for the now, not when or then. I was trembling on the inside, it felt like butterflies wanting to escape my stomach but I wouldn’t let Haithe see how this was affecting me. He would treat it as “sweet” or “weak” and I didn’t want to be looked at as a typical female in his eyes. Standing, taking one last look around the bedroom, all I could feel then was trepidation running through my veins. I suddenly felt warm, not on the surface of my skin but on the inside. I felt fluid, languid with each movement as I made my way to my destination.
The garden was bathed in moonlight though it wasn’t quite moon high as yet so I placed the tools that I would be using on a blanket. Haithe sat down and began to wash himself, acting as a cat would do. I smiled down at him but he ignored me completely. I knew he would until the deed was done. Timing had to be perfect, in most situations where things matters, it is common. I take the bottle of liquid, orange in color and toxic to the body, toxic to Haithes body even in this world. When it was moon high I poured the liquid into a dish for Haithe, and I held it ready, to my lips. At first sip, my lips burned, fiery and hot and the feeling followed into my mouth and down my throat. Lying my head down on the blanket next to Haithe I waited. I took another sip, and another, knowing that my insides were slowly burning, collapsing, and my organs were failing, slowly one by one. I didn’t whimper. I didn’t even shed a tear. Haithe was just as quiet as I knew he would be. We were going to finally be. Right on the dot, I took out the knife I had and Haithe nodded his agreement. I sliced his neck, not brutally or rushed but quickly and painlessly. He fell limp. I then touched the end of the blade to my skin, ripped it open, gasped one gurgling breath of air but fell. I was no more then a bag of bones and rotting skin to this world, I was no more.
That world slipped away, turning into swirls of color, patterns of nothingness and everything mixed in together. Light and dark, black and white, it all meant nothing now and my new life awaited me. Searching, wondering, feeling lost but somehow knowing where I was going at the same time. Guiding towards my new place, I felt a sense of contentment that I had never before felt. I understood what happiness is, but had never truly felt it until then. Seeing Haithe finally as who he really is and knowing I would be there with him meant the world to me. Literally. The Earth had never been my home and somehow Haithe knew and understood that. In Haithe’s world you could finally become who you were meant to be. Haithe came forward with his hand outstretched and I placed mine in his, we were really, finally one. His crystal blue eyes bored into mine, I met his unflinching, unwavering.
My new life had been waiting for me for all my twenty-four years, turning over meant I had to be accepted as one of Haithes kind and so I had used my nine lives in doing so that a being like Haithe would have. I didn’t look any different, I didn’t feel any differently to how I felt before but I just knew that I was now home. Timing was everything and this was now my time. Before it was always someone else’s without thought or feeling to my own. All the horrors of my lifetime had been swept away through the journey, and all the nightmares had been pushed away like wind chasing a cloud. I had always felt like I had been the one chasing in my own world. But now I felt like I was finally able to catch up with what I felt was most important. I placed a hand on my belly and could feel the new life growing inside of me. I had finally been able to come full circle as is what life and time is meant to be.
… Moon’s later our infant was born, a mixture of light and dark, new and old, kindness and hate. Her eyes were lilac in color, two slight bumps protruded from her head just like her father. She was tiny but she was strong, she would always be a fighter and would certainly use her nine lives with honor. Slicing through the silence with his powerful voice Haithe let out the sound which meant his heir had been born. Another sound followed but not by him. His people responded, and then all is silent. It was certainly not a time to be missed. Sinking into life with Haithe meant everything to me. There was no time to be looking back now. Now this felt real, no sense of dreaming, just real life pulsing through my veins. Real time ticking by that you had to watch every moment of.
Last edited by woopdidoodoo; 11-28-2008 at 11:46 AM..
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