My family has always been extremely religious, in fact, half of my grandparents are pastors and it runs in the family to be a pastor - we even have a family church. Up until I was about 12-13 I had no doubts that there was a God... then I found out that, according
to a lot of Christians (and maybe the bible and God) condemn homosexuality. This completely blew my mind - I couldn't understand why or how such a loving God would condemn these people or, if he doesn't condemn them, send a message out to all those Christians constantly harassing homosexuals that they're doing something wrong. At the time, I didn't even consider myself as being anything other than straight, even though I did like girls that way, but I thought if I was gay, I'd be different - more perverse and such. I don't think I realized that all it means to be gay is that you like the same sex - I thought gay just equaled a bad person in general or a nasty one. Anyway, after finding that out, I started doing more and more research... which lead to more and more doubts.

Atheists - what's your story? did you ever believe in God or were you disillusioned over time? Do you ever wish you believed?

Those who believe in God (what God doesn't matter) - Why do you believe? What do you believe? Do you avoid doing research? How do you deal with all the contradictions in the Bible and in general? Have you ever had doubts? Etc.

Are we allowed to not treat "religion" as if it is synonymous with "Christianity version 2.214?"
Are we allowed to define "God" in manners that are not limited to "classical monotheism version *error/unknown*"?

If the above are no, then I guess I have nothing else to add to the conversation. :XD Apologies, but I just get very tired of this sort of thing as someone who is very religions and not any version of Christian... and who believes in the divine but hardly in the fashion specified by generic classical monotheism.

When I was little my grandma force me to go to church with my other siblings, I didn't mind. I believe in God but I wouldn't go preaching it and I certainly don't care. I also believe in Buddha, some of the lifestyle choices, though. I also don't care about what another person believes because it's their choice and I have no right to ask them, unless they wish to tell me. Or if we're on that subject.

I believe that people are free to live and love as they please and should be able to do so without any judgment.

My spirituality does not relate to God(s) or religious beliefs.

I believe that religion should bring people together, not tear them apart. I don't believe in a higher power per say but I do believe that it's important for people to keep their faith. By that I mean doing whatever they feel comfortable with whether it be believing in a God(s) or being an atheist or what not.

The Bible is very outdated. People twist the words around to suit their own needs. To me some passages don't apply to modern day society. Some of those that I include in the "out dated" parts are the parts where it does condemn homosexuality.

It upsets me that some people give homosexuals a hard time saying God doesn't love them or that they have no right to worship God when they have the same rights as those who are straight to worship whatever God they please. I've had exs, friends, and people that have come to me with the issue of what to do when people in the church won't accept them. The way I see it is that people are people and sexuality does not make God hate or love you any more or less.

Starlock - no you don't need to be Christian although some of the questions (How do you deal with the contradictions in the bible?) are directed at them

I'm not atheist... I was raised Catholic...first communion, baptism, etc. However....Now that I'm older I have come upon my own views. While I believe there is a God out there...I don't believe in the Catholic Church. My personal belief is that I don't feel like I need to go to a man-made building and pay a random guy in order to get in touch with God and to ask him for forgiveness. I think that's ridiculous. I believe there is a God out there who loves and cares and understands people...not the God that a church has identified as the frontman for their beliefs....

What I say to you...find your own God. You don't have to believe in what everyone else says God does. If you believe there is a God but you don't believe that he would hate homosexuals...reconcile those two thoughts into one. You believe in a God that doesn't hate homosexuals and your belief just happens to differ from the belief of your family and your church.

Atheist here.

Atheists - what's your story? did you ever believe in God or were you disillusioned over time? Do you ever wish you believed?

I never believed in god. I was raised in a religious home, went to church (school mandatory), and did all that junk and rituals I forgot the name of I was baptized and had the first communion (a whole bunch of thanks to Maria for the post, since I forgot the names). But I never believed one word of it at any point in time, because it simpy didn't make sense to me. As a kid I already figured out that there were so many loopholes within the bible, and in the way sunday school was taught and a whole lot of other things. It just never made sense. To other people clearly it makes perfect sense, but not to me. As for wishing I ever believed... Well, tricky. Sometimes I wonder how blissfully some people drift through life in their religious dome (and I mean absolutely no offence with this statement) and it seems like a good deal, but then I remember than I don't need a god because I have morals, and to me, sorry to say, every religious person is afraid of going to hell and that influences their sense of morality, which is why you still hear a lot of speeches against homosexuality and why the pope is all "abstinence plox" to the youth.

Needless to say I backed out of sunday school as soon as I was able, when my parents asked me if I wanted to continue or not. My grandmother still says the devil whispers in my ear. :'D

But Dest, I'll be honest with you. The only person you should be listening to is yourself. It is ok to have doubts, and it's ok to work them out. If you feel like you need the reassurance that your god/religion brings to you, then be religious. You can always follow another religion altogether. There's also agnosticism, let's not forget, and of course atheism, my route, when it comes to lack of religion. Either way, you will always face obstacles. Religion or lack thereof is a tricky business and there will always be someone trying to change your mind and telling you you're wrong. Some people take a long while, maybe even a life time to come to terms with their decision. But, nevertheless, I wish you the best of luck with this journey of yours.

Heh, okay, I guess I will free myself to say something else then. :XD

I believe in the divine because it's self-evidently obvious, given how I view "deity" as a concept. Deity is Reality/Nature/Universe. It stares me in the face every waking moment, in the sun, in the rain, in the houses, in the people. I also define deity as whatever it is that you deem sacred, awe-inspiring, or worth celebrating or revering. Belief in this sort of thing - if you can even call it belief - lends itself to a humble acknowledging that neither you nor humanity is the most supra-powerful force in the known universe. There are forces bigger than you and bigger than humanity.

I have no (practical) doubt in the existence of reality, and I have no (practical) doubt that many aspects of reality inspire me and are worth celebrating joyfully. These things are experiential. They are not given to me by some dogma, some sacred text, some authority. Deity is right there in the world for me to experience, to study both through science and through other means like the creative or mystical arts. Some would take to not calling what I describe "deity" at all, and sure, fine. I use the term because to simply call it "Reality/Nature/Universe" doesn't denote the awe of seeing a bird flitting across the sky and it taking your breath away.

I was raised in an all-Christian environment, so it comes as no surprise that I considered myself a Christian for roughly the first three quarters of my life and rarely questioned the things which had always been presented to me as simple matters of fact for quite some time. Whenever I did realize that something I'd been taught disagreed with my sense of logic, I would question it and be quickly shot down and told that if I didn't believe what I'd been taught, I must not believe in God and would go to Hell. Of course, I didn't want that. Over time, though, I found it more and more difficult not to question things. Eventually, my beliefs had strayed so far from those of my family that, while I still considered myself a Christian, I dared not get into religious discussions with them for fear of starting an argument. The more time went on, the more research I did and the less my beliefs matched theirs. Eventually, I stopped believing in God altogether.
One of the major issues that I struggled with in my earlier days was the apparent conflict between religion and homosexuality (or anything often considered "related"). For a while, I believed that what everyone had been saying was right and that the Bible backed up their beliefs without room for contradiction. I didn't really see why God would say such a thing, though, so I started to do some studying of my own and found that there was plenty of reason to disagree with them and that the Bible didn't really back up their feelings at all. It seemed everything I'd been taught had been passed along more through word of mouth than through any actual study or realistic understanding of the Bible.
Even now as an atheist, I find myself shaking my head at a lot of people's blind following and "understanding" of Christianity and the Bible. It seems a lot of people--both Christian and non--make assumptions without taking the time to really consider what they're saying or what it might mean.

Everyone has their own beliefs. I've always had a problem believing which was true though. I how ever am a christian.

I thought that was really interesting, Starlock, and I can see how nature itself would be sort of a deity although I've never heard of it before.
Glitter - I'm going through the exact same thing. I came out by getting into an argument with my uncle about whether or not the bible (and God) condemns homosexuality and I've been finding more and more contradictions in the Bible (and Christian's beliefs) since then.
If I do end up being a Christian (or an atheist) I don't want it to be a blind following and not being blind leads to all sort of odd discoveries...
Maria - I think that's a nice idea
Neuza - My grandmother is the same way... it's both funny and frustrating. I know what you mean about some things just not making sense...

The opposite to religion is not atheism, you don't have to be an atheist to not be a Christian any more. :) You could simply be a theist, believing in a god/s...
Or you could subscribe to one of the much more open/accepting religious communities of Christians, there are lots of them, and all of the groups are a little different.

As for me, I never really believed in a higher power, not even as a kid, but as I've grown older I've gone from being a very strong atheist (absolute denial that there is a higher power) to more of an Agnostic Atheist, meaning, I think there's a possibility of there being a higher power, but I don't really think it exists, or at least, does not give a shit about us. If that sounds a bit weird, I'm still going through the understanding and exploration of my slightly altered beliefs. I think my faith will continue to grow or change as I get older too. I think it's pretty normal to question your beliefs.

Dest1218, yeah, I find that in general many seem to have a very limited conception of what the word "deity" can mean in my country, and consequently I think an awful lot of "nonbelievers" do actually believe in something that can be described as "deity" but they just don't use that word for it.

For instance, I can't conceive of someone truly not believing in a higher power as Monstahh says. I mean, unless you think that you as an individual are the most supra-powerful awesome force in the entire universe - in which case I can fairly say you have a pathological case of narcissism and delusions of grandeur - I don't see how that is possible. :XD "Higher power" doesn't have to be supernatural, it doesn't have to be transcendent, it doesn't have to be male, it doesn't have to be omnibenevolent, it doesn't have to be anything that some human told you it "had" to be.

I came from being iffy between Buddhism and Christianity an my parents were both and never forced it. I studied a variety of religions growing up (though not in depth).
I became a full Christian not long ago but not of a particular denomination nor baptised.

I still believe in a God, not necessarily a big man in the sky that shoot lightning bolts but a higher being.
And Jesus promoted love, acceptance and not to judge. Somehow the Bible contradicts most of this even though he was the root.

And for lots of the stories, he used a lot of analogies to explain things. If you know how Middle Eastern people talk, they tell simple things in the form of stories, even now.

And I'm pansexual on top of things. And the world really needs more love than hate.

I used to be the most devout Christian you ever met, and I had once some of the best arguments for such a side. Then quite simply, things changed over time. I ended up meeting a few friends (one especially, who's in this chat right now XD) who through their views and experiences eventually ended up with me rethinking things due to exposure, and some truths I had never thought about before.

That said, in a few ways I'm still quite the spiritual person. I'm just what you might call Agnostic. In all honesty, I've done better with my supposed "destiny" this way than I ever have when I was Christian. Still now I kind of wonder what people think about in their day to day lives under their version of "God," here where I live not many actually stop to think about their religion, even though we live around the Bible Belt. I always wonder how people could live without forming their own opinions, and not just blindly follow the doctrine. It's just... odd to me, I've always had my own opinion even then.

Well, I've had a similar experience, though with the opposite outcome.

I've grown up in Christian family, but around 10th grade I started questioning it, since I was going to a magnet school, and I'd heard a lot of things and was surrounded by atheists. Not to mention the scientific community (rather blindly in my opinion) denies that a god could exist in any way shape or form... -sigh-

but mind you, while I hadn't figured out all the knowledge, like is this what it says and this what it doesn't say, I looked instead to my personal experiences. there were things that had happened both to me and to those around me that could be explained no other way, and in the end I decided I was still a Christian, though I hadn't quite figured out everything yet, and that was okay, and that a lot of the Christians around me (I was living in the deep south at this point in time) weren't doing it right, but that didn't mean the basis was wrong.

First week of my freshman year I ended up meeting someone who started taking me to her Bible Study, and the people who were part of this Bible study were unlike any other Christians I'd met. They were highly spirit filled, and they showed me, through scripture readings and the like that fussing over what was right and what was wrong was incorrect. 'Right' and 'wrong' are very situational, and before this I hadn't known any religion that accounted for this. Instead we are to live by life!

that means if your spirit feels 'life' about a decision go with that, and if 'death' is felt instead, don't do that. It's a little bit hard to explain.

Not to mention I have never heard any contradictions of the Bible that didn't come from the Old Testament, and honestly the Old Testament times are entirely different than the New Testament. A way hadn't been made for people to contact God directly yet, and so God had to give a set of black and white rules to the people, and all these other things which became irrelevant in the New Testament times, which are the times we are living in.

Not to mention at this Bible study I found out that a ton of things I had been told by preachers had no backing in the Bible at all.

For example, Hell is not a place, it is eternal separation from God. you aren't tortured or anything stupid like that, you're just missing out, so technically (now don't shoot me for saying this, I don't mean it in any way you've probably heard before) all who have not excersized their spirit to contact God are in a state of 'Hell' (this includes a large number of Christians too! v.v ). My belief is that after you die, those who are separated realize what has happened, and it is that realization that is compared to torture.

There are some contradictions in the New Testament too although not as many and they seem to be more detail-sort of things

Thanks everyone

well, I've never seen a specific verse from the New Testament of one, if you know of any, would you please share them with me? I like to be fully educated on the subject

First site I came across: New Testament Contradictions

For the next segment of what I'm writing, please don't try to take it as me trying to 'prove' anything one way or another, I'm just giving you my opinion. Having stuff like this is good, but this particular author is by no means approaching it from an indifferent point of view

Well, so far looking through it, I see mostly arguements about history. Today we don't agree on what happened in the past, I really don't expect people 2000 years ago to agree about the past.

And then I see things dealing with holdays/celebrations. Sure, some (actually I think most) Christian holidays were taken from non-Christian holidays or Jewish holidays, and then given new meanings. I honestly don't see anything wrong with this, as it's what you personally celebrate a holiday for that's important, but I understand this being pointed out because a lot of Christians get all in a huffy about this.

I see...more dealings with fairly nonconsequential events, and how they are in different orders. The author of this site isn't looking at each gospel written in a chronilogical order is he? The apostles on purpose wrote about different events at different points in their gospels to stress different issues

Point on the Unchangable Law, The author is taking this out of context. There are two ways of 'ways' of the Lord, The 'way of the Law' and the 'way of life'. The individual picks which way to live, and if they choose to live by the Law, the Lord will hold them to that, however, by the 'way of life' 'right' and 'wrong' are very situational. The author is trying to take an implication of Jesus saying something that pertains to the way of the law and apply it to things that pertain to the way of life. This is something that requires a lot of study to know and understand however, and I certainly don't expect the author (or many other people for that matter) to understand this.

The one on signs is also somewhat out of context. Jesus was a fan of Metaphors. I'm not going to post an arguement on this issue because it honestly depends on how literal you take everything. I feel that he's using this generation to refer to the pharisees, because through their eyes they have seen no signs. Of course, this entire section is up to individual interpretation.

The bit on the son of David. The author states that the apostles said that there was no need for Jesus to be the son of david, and then states that there is need.
Jesus is of David's bloodline (and he hasn't provided much arguement against this), so this arguement is kinda moot either way though.

The Fig Tree bit, yeah, it wasn't normal for the fig tree to have figs at that time. I think this was straight out stated in one of the gospels. Does that really matter?

More stuff with timing of events; Honestly it's not like the disples wrote down each thing as it happened, or got together and correlated their stories. Minor things are inconsequential really

The Great Commision bit; I'm not sure what the author is trying to say here, is he/she pointing out something about Baptism? This is once again left up to the literality of the statement, and is discussed by different church groups. In my opinion, Jesus intended for no 'rituals' and people (including the church) have taken this statement entirly too literally. Jesus/God wanted a closeness with all people, and for them to have the Holy Spirit (also known as being baptized in the Holy Spirit) which doesn't involve a ritual, but more an opening of the inner spirit...it gets more confusing to explain, so if you want more explaination ask.

With the Book of Enoch, this differs on what you consider the 'Word of God'. Most of the epistles were letters to the churches, divinly inspired in the same way a (good) paster or preacher receives a message to share with his congregation, and I look at the epistles in that way. A really darn good preacher writing a letter to his churches. once again, defined by how the literal the individual thinks the letters are.

the things not to take section is another for of how literal-the idea of the statement was that you depend on the Lord's provision for everything. God isn't a lawyer, he's not going to ban you from taking a stick like that.

The second coming bit depends on how you define 'this generation' and 'you' and should not be used as proof for either side.

The earth in revelation is, well Revelation. Nobody will know what that means till it happens, it is so chalked full of imagery and symbols. There's no point in arguing over most of the details in this book.

The book of Daniel isn't New Testament, and I've already stated my views on that

Prophecies pretty crazy odd most of the time anyways, why shouldn't something odd be an answer to a prophecy? it's kinda a moot point to argue here as well.

last bits aren't providing proof, I don't feel like messing with those.

Sorry for this long wall of text you probably did not want to read @.@

I'll mention a couple of other things that are often mentioned, though not mentioned here.

Similarity of Christianity with other relegions:
Assuming there is one 'correct' religion, and if it starts from creation/start of man, then it would be later sected as people spread out and split up, however they would all contain elements from the 'original' religion. Add on to that people who had contact with God who were not connected to Judaism and Christianity forming or changing exisiting religions (and usually failing, as we see with Tut's father/mother's attempts at converting Egypt to monothesim) or incorporating bits of it into their own religion, and of course there will be similarities with everything. Another point I don't see why Christians get huffy about. God doesn't care who you are or where you come from.

eh, there was something else, but I forgot it.

I aplogize for this large amount of text ):
I don't expect you to share the same views as me on the matter, I just wanted to provide a counter-arguement so that you might get to see (some) of the other side of the picture as well ^.^ (though by no means am I an expert on this matter: I honestly don't think anyone is.)

I wasn't arguing - I'm not an expert on anything religious o.O
Just showing that there do seem to be contradictions, as small and unimportant as they may be. Probably others but I doubt that was the best site for that.

oh, sorry XD
hah, yeah I'm no expert either~

though either way, while 100% believe God speaks through the Bible, even the way He uses the text to speak is situational. perhaps even trying to give a discrete value to any statement is moot, as God can use anything to speak, and can use the same thing in multiple ways

Okay this might turn long- and keep in mind, I haven't read many of the replies. I just wanted to give my story for now.

I grew up in a pretty religious house. There was a point in time when we would all go to church and stuff like that every Sunday/Wednesday, when I was really young. Eventually we all stopped, for a few different reasons. Mainly the church was pretty cliqueish, and had so many double standards for what was right and wrong- My family could do one thing and it not be okay, but someone elses could do the same and it was perfectly fine. That sort of thing.

When I was about 13, I had a sudden desire to start going to church again. I can't remember why, but I asked my parents and they said I could, and so I started going. This started my religious phase.

I was also going through a time in my life where my sexuality was being questioned by myself. I'd been unsure since around age 11 whether I was straight or not. Going to church changed this innocent, unashamed curiosity and questioning into something I was deeply ashamed and afraid of, and something I tried so very, very hard to push away.

I allowed myself to be convinced I was just confused, and all that kind of thing. Well the religious phase lasted for about three years, and it's a time I look back on with so much shame and regret. Like I said, I convinced myself I was straight and that being gay was wrong, and I tried so hard to 'convert' people and that kind of thing. I tried 'leading a good life' and would feel guilty if I ever did ANYTHING I thought was remotely bad.

But slowly I came to realize that I honestly didn't believe being gay was wrong, and that I only made myself believe it. I also realized that I did not fit in at church at all. Everyone was nice, yeah, but I was never part of the group. Not really.

So I stopped going. I felt bad for a while, but eventually I grew to resent it. All of it. I resented my old church, their opinions on gay people, everything. Eventually I realized that I didn't have to believe in any of that. I realized that I... actually don't believe in god. I'd never thought about it in the way that allowed me to actually wonder whether I believed or not... I just believed because I'd been told to, and that's what was right.

When I thought about it, I realized that I was actually, finally ready to give up christianity completely. I became an Atheist and that's what I still am, years later.

Not to offend anyone, as that's not my intention, but I've come to really, really dislike religion as a whole. 90% of the population seems to use it against people, to use it as a weapon, and I just don't like that. At all. Christianity has ruined the idea of god for me completely and utterly, to the point I don't want to believe in one.

As long as people don't push it on other people, or use it to fuel homophobia and all the other trash from the bible, I can respect them and their beliefs. The minute they start bible thumping is when I get really pissed off and can't take it.

But...yeah, that's my from christianity to atheism story. No regrets, and I've never been happier.

Thank You :D
You didn't need to read any of the replies - I was just hoping for someone to describe what they went through religiously whether it was going from atheism to religion (which seems to be rare), from religious to questioning religion then back to being religious, or from religious to unreligious or a different religion.
I feel like I would be a little lost without my religion, but I don't want to keep following it just because I'm scared of being lost.