Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Wrong
I'm glad you are contemplating putting Sarah in state custody, Inzaned One. Such a move would lift a great deal of stress from your shoulders.
If you could live where you wanted to, where would that be?
|
Oh, but placing Sarah creates a whole different kind of stress that I am not fully prepared to deal with...
I have concerns for her safety and how vulnerable she would be to many risks she might face while in the care of a facility...and to even consider the fact that it would have been MY choice to put her at that risk, should something unmentionable happen to her, I could hardly live with myself!
Sarah is 34 years old but looks like she is 13......(I think you know where I'm headed here, so I won't elaborate on my fear...the fear any mother of a non-verbal daughter might have.)
No...I have not, yet, convinced myself that things are so bad that Sarah should be cared for by the State...
Not yet.
As for where I would choose to live...I think I would choose to be right back in Conifer, Bailey, Aspen Park...somewhere along the 285 corridor between Conifer and Grant would be ideal.
I have no desire to return to Oregon, where I was raised, but would rather live out my existence nestled somewhere in the Rocky Mountains...breathing cleaner air...not hearing the constant noise pollution...seeing the bazillion stars that city lights drown out and make invisible...
I want to watch wildlife...the seasons change...
In the city I see a hawk every so often...and the neighbor says a family of skunks lives down the block, but I haven't seen a deer or a bear lately...but there was another shooting...about 2 blocks from our house...(I read that it was a pot robbery, but that was early speculation and I haven't seen any further news about the incident, other than 2 persons were taken to hospital and are expected to survive.)
News media rarely follows stories about these crimes in this area of town...
This might be considered the "nicer" side of "the hood," and hoodlums run rampant!
I do NOT like being in the city!!
I can't say that I "fear" being here...I just don't FEEL good here!
The air stinks! ...the WATER stinks! ...everybody is in SUCH a RUSH all the time!
We live a couple blocks from a main road and the sirens are always blaring...the police, the fire truck, the ambulance....Oh! And did I mention that we are right under a flight path for 2 different helicopter rescue services? ....one travels over us in a southeast path, the other travels northeast....both are loud!
Oh! ...and on some Sunday's, the jets fly over to start the Broncos football game...rattling the singles and jarring my nerves!!
Though I lived within sight of a federal highway before I was thrust into the mouth of the beast called Denver, it was QUIET compared to the residential areas of the city!
Here, I hear squealing tires of drag racing/showing off...loud exhaust...the "BOOM BOOM" of loud sound systems...
There is NO "CALM" here!
Well, Dazzy...Hope is probably as adjusted to this transition as she ever will be...
I see where she holds her dad at a distance...often wanting ME to play with her instead of "bothering" her dad...
I believe that this is a direct result in the fact that her dad is a negative kind of guy...
Where I taught Hope by praising her for all that she did,...her dad tends to focus on the things she does wrong...or not to his liking...(which, to my biased eye, is EVERYTHING!)
I makes me sad that Hope can have a day full of laughter from playing....until her dad gets home...
Then, she cries because she can't do something she wants...she cries because dad got hurt while they were playing rough and won't play with her any more...she cries, sometimes, just to cry...which really makes dad upset!
This not being my house, I can't tell him how wrong he is to tell her that crying is "wrong,"...but it breaks my heart while he is unintentionally strips her of owning the emotion of sadness!
I soooo badly need to leave this house...
I feel like I am always walking on rice paper, trying to not make a sound or leave any footprints (or messes) behind me...for fear of waking the guy who sleeps in 90 minute intervals...(he seriously wakes up every hour and a half or so to pee/smoke/eat a snack).
I don't even smoke my "before bedtime cigarette" any more because the floor creaks so bad I'm afraid it will wake him and he will come out to smoke, too...
No thanks!
BF is depressed and working hard to make money...
He is eating microwaveable food unless someone offers him a meal...
He sleeps in a room over the office at the auto shop he works at.
He is presently the only mechanic working for the boss...and there is lots of work needing to be done.
He sounds pretty down when we talk on the phone.
I miss him a lot.
I'm trying to get into the spirit of Halloween...my most favorite holiday...
Yes, they have door to door trick or treating here in the city...
With the Clown Scare, most schools banned clown costumes and clown costumes are discouraged.
I hope to help Hope and her mom decorate the house by the end of the week...providing the BF can bring me the decorations from the storage unit, up on the mountain.
Well...I have typed my fingers off and must put myself to bed to regrow new ones...
I hope I haven't bored anybody!
Have a great day, All!
!