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Mr. Wrong
Challenge your paradigm
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#1
Old 07-14-2015, 04:10 AM

With the 2016 presidential elections being too close to call, party infighting, mud slinging, pregnant chads, and Toyota Prius' loaded with phony ballots, have escalated to all out war on Crapitol Hill. By turning one campaign contribution of $1000 into $100,000,000 by betting on porcine futures, the new leader of The Womenists, Illary Rotten, aka Her Thighness, has become the most powerful of the bloody commissars. Infamous for her brutality, no White House counsel, Secretary of Commerce, Ambassador, or Christian Coalition member have been spared during her barbarous rise to the top.

With the embattled Constitutionalists having been defeated during the Batle of Wounded Flee, The Connies are now relegated to a tiny outpost on the steppes of Montana known as "Buffalo Chip Valley". The Connies and their leader, Ed Nugent, have been reduced to living a hunter/gatherer type of existence.

Opposing The Womenists are the Rino's led by Senator McLame who is well-known for his fierce opposition and then sudden and sometimes inexplicable capitulation to what observers describe as being nothing more than a light wind. Living what he learned during his time as a p.o.w. in the infamous Ho Chi Minh Howard Johnson, McLame says that he must lead from behind so that he is already positioned forward of his troops in case of any retreat. "We must snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!" is one of McLame's more noteworthy and bassackward battle cries.

Leading the charge against Her Thighness from the same side of the fence is none other than Johnny Planet and his Planeteers. Although Johnny and his ilk claim to be good stewards of the planet, their various clubs never participate in Adopt A Highway programs or pick up litter that is in abundance on the streets of L.A., San Franpsycho, or Chicago.
The higher-ups of this alleged green party are also known for flying in fuel inefficient jets to various parts of the country to attend environmental rallies.

Which lifeless husk of a character will you be in this ever-raging battle for the personal information and constituent checks of those who exist beyond Crapitol Hill and its Kryptonite of Logic?

The rules: Ha! There are so few of them.
God-modding is allowed because everyone in the media can turn a blind eye to a proven megalomaniac and so should you.
Being semi-literate and above is discouraged. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

The message of this thread was so important that I had to kill a tree to bring it to you. And several animals were hurt in the posting of this alt-history thread.

Last edited by Mr. Wrong; 07-14-2015 at 04:14 AM.. Reason: re-writing history

salvete
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#2
Old 04-18-2016, 05:03 PM

What an interesting roleplay topic

 


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