I wrote this years ago, and I have always liked it. Soon, I want to go through it and change things to make it better... which is why I am posting it here. =)

Any advice is appreciated.


Better than an Electronic Smile

The feeling of being on the open road never felt so unbelievable. Every bump we hit made me sure I was flying. The rattle of the bus walls flowed through me like a melody. I had always despised busses, but this one was already starting to feel like home. The five of us just stared into space, overwhelmed and in awe. We got signed, my band, after years of striving. We made it into the real world of music and the road ahead of us lead us to our new lives, full of uncertainty and venture.
I can still hear my dad’s words. “Katrien, you’re wasting your life away with that band nonsense. You’ll never make it go anywhere.” My dad never believed in my band. Anything that had to do with the band was “nonsense,” and he never helped a bit with any of it. If we practiced at my house, I wouldn’t see his face for a week. That is just how he was, and he was the only family I had.
Andrea’s house ended up being our usual meeting place. That is where our band got our name: Electronic Smile. Every time someone said it, I smiled. With my band is where I felt alive. I would wait anxiously for the time to come when the five of us would get together again. Jodie, Tori, Andrea, and Casey were my true family. I belonged with them. Any one of us would jump in front of a flying bullet to save another without any second thoughts.
The bus jolted to a stop, and our hearts skipped a few beats. “Best of luck to you girls!” our driver yelled back from his seat. “Make your daddies proud!” He added jokingly. Even though his last words stabbed me, I couldn’t help but smile. I couldn’t believe where I was. The butterflies in my stomach were doing all that they could to escape. Every ounce of my body ran numb with excitement and eagerness.
We raced backstage to get ourselves prepared for our first real show. No other bands would be there to share the fame and glory. When we were finally as ready as we would ever be, we gathered in a warming embrace. In ten minutes we would be the center of everything.
The screams filled my world. All of their faces were so full of excitement. Jodie strummed her guitar and the show began. We rocked out little hearts out, making not a single mistake. We could tell that we were blowing the audience away, which only made us play harder. There were hundreds of them jumping up and down and singing along. All, that is, except for one person who didn’t know the words. My dad looked up and me with tears flooding his eyes… and smiled.

Wow, that's so deep and insightful! Thanks for writing & posting it.

=)
Why thank you.

I really like it!


Though I think its "busses"

Originally Posted by sychobunny

I really like it!


Though I think its "busses"

I believe you're right. It's been edited. Thank you. =)