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Kory
Spooky Action at a Distance
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#1
Old 03-14-2023, 01:37 AM

I don't know if anyone even checks this forum anymore, but I just need to vent...

About two years ago. (October 2021) I met someone on a different avatar forum. They seemed nice and we hit it off and I added them on Discord. It seemed like they cared about me and at the time, I was in an abusive relationship, so I started venting to them about it. At the time, I found out I was pregnant, but something happened and I couldn't carry to term. I still don't know what exactly happened because my PCP is really, really crappy and doesn't let me know things. I guess that's what happens when you're broke. :/ So I was really sad and upset because I was delusional at the time and I was convinced a baby would "fix" my ex. So I told them that I might try again with him... They told me that they'd be incredibly disappointed in me if I did that, and I didn't really care enough to listen to them because I was blinded by love and I thought that my abusive ex was amazing and would make a wonderful dad.

So I got pregnant *again* and the next thing I know they blocked me on the avatar forum. (Not on Discord for some reason?) I was sad about it, but I figured they couldn't deal with my issues anymore and I didn't blame them. But then I found out from my best friend, now new boyfriend, that they went behind my back and started talking about me and purposefully misgendered me while talking to him, using transphobic logic as to why they misgendered me and then later on claiming that I was lying about something. I didn't ask him for details, because I figured if this person had any issues with me they should come to ME about it and NOT go behind my back and try to get other people to stop talking to me...

That was literally so immature. I didn't really mind that they blocked me, but to talk about me behind my back was so shitty and extremely immature. What is this? Elementary school?! Like, "I'm mad at Beth, I'm gonna tell everyone to stop talking to them!" It's just so stupid... And extremely hurtful. I told them things that I would never tell a stranger. I poured my heart out to them and I genuinely liked them... I used to write them just to check on them. And I was interested in the things they talked about and their life. Even though I'm mad at them too, I WOULD NEVER misgender them. ESPECIALLY not behind their back.

It's frustrating too because most of the people they probably talked to are cisgendered and have no idea that them misgendering me was transphobic. I feel so betrayed and so hurt... I know this happened a while ago, but I genuinely liked them and I thought they were my friend. I trusted them and they betrayed me.

They later on went to post on the other avatar forum something along the lines of, "Oh, I was friends with this person for 20+ years and they lied to me (and others)". I'm 28, so to be friends with them for 20+ years I'd have had to meet them when I was 8 or younger and I wasn't even allowed on the internet until I was 11 or 12. And they were like, "To my friend, if you're reading this..." I don't know if they were talking about me, but I think they think I'm someone else??? Idk. Regardless, if they had an issue with me, they should have come to ME about it. Not go around talking shit about me behind my back and misgendering me.

I was going through an incredibly dark time in my life... I needed a friend. And they said that they understood because they were also in an abusive relationship. So I don't understand how someone can literally just throw someone away like that and abandon them, KNOWING how it feels to be in that situation... I eventually left my abusive ex and now I'm dating the most wonderful, sweetest and kindest man I've ever met. So I guess it all worked out in the end...

But I feel so hurt. I feel so betrayed. And I no longer feel safe on this other avatar forum, and I kinda don't really feel safe on ANY avatar forum anymore because we all are in the same spaces. We all know each other across platforms... and if this person talked to other people about me behind my back, I feel weird now knowing that this person was transphobic towards me and spread lies about me to other people...

It hurts so much...

Cora

Pixel Pixie
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#2
Old 03-25-2023, 12:54 AM

I can't say I know what it feels like to be misgendered, because I'm cis, but I do know that I went through many a breakdown with my Ex(A Trans Woman) for this. She was the most wonderful person I knew. Its not right nor is it fair how you guys a treated. You deserve to be happy as much as anyone else. I can however, say I do know what its like to be abuse, and also what its like to be betrayed for simply existing (I'm Cis, but I am also Pan) it hurts, especially when it comes from people you trust and love. I'm happy for your sake that you found a person who is kind and who accepts you. I don't know about the safety of Avatar sites, but here on Mene.....I always found comfort. People are a different sort of breed then you'll find elsewhere. I think its the reason why some of us hold on even when the site is quite literally falling apart. So I hope you can at the very least, find people who wont judge you here.

 


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