Most of this was already posted in my LiveJournal. But since no one reads that, I really have no decent gauge on how bad my writing really is.

I'm open to critique, but please make it constructive and helpful. I want to get better. :3

NOTE (once again): These have all been posted on my livejournal. So please don't think that I'm stealing these from anywhere.

I Told The Moon My Secrets

I told the moon my secrets
and she kept them locked away.
She held all of my troubles
and let me live again.
She never told a soul
about how I felt that night
nor would she ever let it
slip.

I told the moon my secrets
and she kept them locked away.
I confessed my darkest actions
but she just looked at me
and smiled.
She never tried to judge me
or tell me I was wrong.
She merely nodded
and listened all night.

I told the moon my secrets
and she kept them locked away.
I'll never regret
telling my story to the
one who would always believe me.
She never tried to blame me
for what happened here or there.
She just let me tell my tale
and kept her lips sealed.

I told the moon my secrets
because I trusted no one else.
And every night I see her
shining down on me,
I can't help but smile
because I know that
she knows me better
than anyone on this earth.


Written while contemplating calling a friend back

The same words
come pouring onto paper
every time your face
haunts my thoughts.

mistake.
You were my mistake.
I was your mistake.
Giving you up
was mine
I just often wonder
what yours was.

happy.
Was I really that happy?
Were you ever happy
with me?
Were you happy with
the idea of me?

laughter.
You still make me laugh
more than anyone else
ever will.

music.
That song you wrote
just for me.
I never got to hear it.
Do you still remember it?
Or has it become hers now?

tears.
I never let you know
how badly it hurt
to pick up the phone
that night.
I never want you
to find that out.

hope.
There is no hope
left for me.
But you've got
your whole future
ahead of you.
Don't waste time lingering
on me.

perfection.
You were perfect.
and now that I see
your flaws
you're even more so.

want.
I want a lot of things
for you.
to you.
with you.
but I can only want
your happiness
and want it to
spread to me
someday.

I think I'll call tomorrow.

Untitled 9/15

That magical hour
How many wishes have been spent
whispering your name
Praying that you might hear
my voice on the wind
and feel that strange stir
in your blood
in your heart
in your head
I only hope that one day you hear
you hear and you know
what I mean when I say
I need you with me
When I whisper your name
When I want your arms around me
Perhaps that magic hour
can carry all I feel
on some cloud of emotion
to you
And that you might one day
waste a wish or two on me.


New Poem From Graduation. Not one of my better works, but I felt I should post something new xD;

A bit of closure just backfired on me. (5-15-2010)

Your eyes
wide as saucers
as I walked across the room
A quiet stammer
that huge smile I love
and a hug
to crush my confidence
all before you walked across the stage.

After the pomp
after fighting my way
to see you before
running away
to a life
without you.
You catch me.
Hold me.
Whisper in my ear
like the way things used to be.
Her eyes flash.
But I smile and say "Congratulations!
He's told me so much about you."
A catty sniff
and she walks away.

But you don't notice.
Too blinded by the thrill
of me in your arms.
to see that
she doesn't want me
anywhere
near you.
And just when I thought
I could tell you good bye.
One more hug
and your lips.
those God forsaken lips
press against my forehead.

An anointment of trust.
Of care.
Of something so real
so true
so damn raw between us
that it stings.

And with that smile
breathtaking and pure
you whisper
"I'm so glad you're here."

And for a fleeting moment
I am too.


A brief selection. All of the rest can be found under the "read more" link in my signature.

I hope that you enjoyed it, or at least didn't hate it enough to vomit.

Bravo! ^^ I like "I Told the Moon My Secrets" one the best! It was really fluid and read well =)
The last poem wasn't so fluid, but the idea and the words chosen where perfect! ^^ Keep up the good work =D

Thank you very much! :)

I agree that "I Told The Moon My Secrets" was the best. :) Very good! I thought the moon idea was cute, and the poem was very well written. Kudos to you! ^_^

Read my poetry too, will ya? Thanks!^_-

Amazing. You are A LOT of a better poet than me. Where did you get the idea for the moon one?

@Bethany (WHICH IS TOTALLY MY NAME OMGOSH =3):

Thank you!! :3

Most of my poetry is based on what's going on in my life at the time.
The Moon poem was written randomly as I was walking around the park one night, contemplating my deepest darkest secrets.
Then I wrote them all on a piece of paper and floated it down river.
:3

Personally, I liked the second one the best. It just spoke to me, and made my heart hurt a little. In a good way.

@ Tate Icasa: I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

LOL NEW POEM IN THE TOP BOX. ;D

New poem:

This is What Play-doh Gets Me
Soft and cold in my hands
rolling slowly
every bump
melting away.
the slow motions
taking my mind back to a place
where bumps and bruises
and heartache and sadness
were fixed with a simple roll
and twist of the wrist.
and everything was better.
Smooth and silky
the scent
of something innocent
assails my senses
and causes the water
behind my eyes
the salt
on my brain
to spill forth
enough to make me feel
ashamed.
alone.
and enough to smash
that soft
perfect ball
into the table
and leave it to dry
to shrivel
and harden
and slowly
disappear.

Head swimming
eyes blinking away
harsh light
morning coming through
the blinds
th room glows
with goldsharp light
harshbright
of a morning
that shouldn't be.

Sitting up
shaking softly
eyes dart
around the room
Familiar clothes
and familiar walls
and worst yet
familiar face
beside her.

Breathing heavy
sleeping soundly
goldendustlight
on his lashes
his thoughts
drift along
the current of sleep
while a tempest
rages beside him.

"Do I wait?"
The thought sounds
absurd
ridiculous
too perfect
for this mistake

Cold air
and pale skin
goosebumps form
as the fan circles around
the rhythmic click
the sound of
seconds
minutes
passing by.
And the only things she
notices
are the hairs on his chin
his chest
the freckles on his arms
and she knows
she has done wrong.

She can't help but wonder
what his eyes will do
when they see her sitting
on the edge of his bed.
A bite on her shoulder
a bruise
a scratch
but she thinks
"What a mess I must look."
as she stares down at her hands
and smiles.

soft steps
on hardwood
and with the quietest
sigh
the door shuts tight
and whispers
"good night."
to the only mistake
that became a regret.

New as of July 12.

Hearts Can Cry Without Shedding Tears, Lad.

He wasn't mine in the first place.
What right do I have
to lay claim to something
so precious.
so glorious
so perfect.
No right at all.
Not even when my thoughts
are of nothing
save for his arms.
Or my dreams of his face
keep me longing for sleep
His words flooding over me
bringing a tear to my eye
My heart beats
only with the hopes
that he will be there
and he will
My tongue sings
only of his praises
My very bones ache with
desire
and that stupid
worthless emotion
of something far greater
than I can ever hope for.
And who has the right to contain that?

Not I.

I must say you have wonderful talent, You should be proud of your work! You have an interesting way of portraying feeling...."I told the moon my secrets" and "this is what play-doh gets me" are my favorites... they both really speak to me on a personal level.

@ Fushigi: Thank you very much!

I'm glad you enjoyed them. :3

New-ish.


Wide eyed and terrified
your shaking hands
rattle my soul
pressure mounting
as cold sweat drips down into
the pool of doubt
my heart starts to flood
as you press against me harder
Fear absorbs the doubt
and trust
until my body has shriveled
to nothing
And even has you try
and try
and try to calm
to show me
just how much you care
Words ring in my ears.
whore and
slut and
easy and
too fast and
worthless
and I almost said no.
But harsh light broke
our vows made in the darkness
and reality
snapped back into place
with a laugh and a kiss
and the feeling
of my heart breaking
into a million pieces
of dust.
My knees began to shake
and my heart ceased to thump
and the mind numbing fear
of everything I risked
breaks me down
to nothing but
a scared
little
girl.

I love your poem "I told the moon my secrets" One of the best I have read in a while.

@fishyfey: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoy it!

I personally could probably never have even matched you, even at my prime of poetry. (which isn't saying much)
I am somewhat depressed recently, I have no spark inside me to create anymore, my imagination feels stunted.
Truly your writing makes me somewhat jealous.

new poem written in my poetry writing class. Various forms and topics were to be explored. I wrote a 3 page long poem about being a bisexual girl scout.

the link for all those interested in my progression. it's a bit more narrative in approach than my others here.

the karp pond

it's sort of a massive bummer that i nuked all my poetry from orbit apparently lol. i really had a lot i wanted to write and say and then it turned into a huge mess after a very long abusive stint in college. i lost my hope to write about anything. i shat together a few extra pieces when i needed to pass a class but i never really found my love for poetry again. i was never good enough to post or write he told me. i was never sick enough to really need help when i felt trapped. i was never happy enough to know what emotion was.



looking back i see that all of this is pretty... basic. it made me feel though. it was what i was feeling at the time and it helped me process it all. i wish i could still find that girl scout poem. i miss that girl so much that sometimes i catch the smell of her soap on the wind even all these years later (she got married and lives in denmark and her partner is a vegan i think which is very cool and noble of him).


i miss feeling like i could write openly. i've been working on the same fanfic for almost 3 years now. every time i get a little more creativity, i throw it all into creating things before it dawns on me that i'm lost. i used to have a way with words and being able to twist a metaphor so hard that it exploded into tiny pieces for me to paper mache together. i used to know how i felt and could slam it into a keyboard until it resembled something whole.


i miss that.

Originally Posted by alonegirl-rocks-the-world

it's sort of a massive bummer that i nuked all my poetry from orbit apparently lol. i really had a lot i wanted to write and say and then it turned into a huge mess after a very long abusive stint in college. i lost my hope to write about anything. i shat together a few extra pieces when i needed to pass a class but i never really found my love for poetry again. i was never good enough to post or write he told me. i was never sick enough to really need help when i felt trapped. i was never happy enough to know what emotion was.



looking back i see that all of this is pretty... basic. it made me feel though. it was what i was feeling at the time and it helped me process it all. i wish i could still find that girl scout poem. i miss that girl so much that sometimes i catch the smell of her soap on the wind even all these years later (she got married and lives in denmark and her partner is a vegan i think which is very cool and noble of him).


i miss feeling like i could write openly. i've been working on the same fanfic for almost 3 years now. every time i get a little more creativity, i throw it all into creating things before it dawns on me that i'm lost. i used to have a way with words and being able to twist a metaphor so hard that it exploded into tiny pieces for me to paper mache together. i used to know how i felt and could slam it into a keyboard until it resembled something whole.


i miss that.

Sad isn't it, how the people around us have so much power to kill our dreams. I feel that so very much. I wish I could tell you I had advice to find that girl back but I don't. I can say though, that I feel you. Don't give up on her, the old you, even if it all seems so hopeless or basic, if someday you find even the tiniest spark in that hold it close. Or find something else that sparks joy.

Originally Posted by Cora

Sad isn't it, how the people around us have so much power to kill our dreams. I feel that so very much. I wish I could tell you I had advice to find that girl back but I don't. I can say though, that I feel you. Don't give up on her, the old you, even if it all seems so hopeless or basic, if someday you find even the tiniest spark in that hold it close. Or find something else that sparks joy.

it's really funny because i see certain phrases or wordings crop up in my fanfics that i always put into the back of my brain as "huh. that would probably have worked really well in a poem." and then i just jot it down and move on without ever really working it. but now i find i'm enjoying other ways to create. i'm trying to teach myself how to crochet again and i've started needlefelting. my current partner is trying to teach me how to cook slightly more consistently and i am getting better. there's lots of little things that are slowly starting to bring back some joys here and there. and hell, before [gestures vaguely at the state of the world] that, i was starting to look into some smaller RP groups again just to get back into it.



i dont think old me is entirely gone. i think old me is just hiding because there were lots of scary days that plagued her. i dont want old me to go through any of that any more. i'm okay enough now to handle the nightmares and the dread every time my phone rings and i dont know the number. i'm a grown adult and i can help keep some tender-hearted college student feeling a little less terrified. one day, old me'll poke their head out like a baby skunk from under the front porch. things will feel safer and a little more certain and there will be some sort of reassurance that "really. it's okay this time." i know that day might not be some earth shattering realization. the sky wont open up and there won't be a medal from the UN on my chest for finally feeling okay again. but i'm still looking forward to it. :)

Originally Posted by alonegirl-rocks-the-world

it's really funny because i see certain phrases or wordings crop up in my fanfics that i always put into the back of my brain as "huh. that would probably have worked really well in a poem." and then i just jot it down and move on without ever really working it. but now i find i'm enjoying other ways to create. i'm trying to teach myself how to crochet again and i've started needlefelting. my current partner is trying to teach me how to cook slightly more consistently and i am getting better. there's lots of little things that are slowly starting to bring back some joys here and there. and hell, before [gestures vaguely at the state of the world] that, i was starting to look into some smaller RP groups again just to get back into it.



i dont think old me is entirely gone. i think old me is just hiding because there were lots of scary days that plagued her. i dont want old me to go through any of that any more. i'm okay enough now to handle the nightmares and the dread every time my phone rings and i dont know the number. i'm a grown adult and i can help keep some tender-hearted college student feeling a little less terrified. one day, old me'll poke their head out like a baby skunk from under the front porch. things will feel safer and a little more certain and there will be some sort of reassurance that "really. it's okay this time." i know that day might not be some earth shattering realization. the sky wont open up and there won't be a medal from the UN on my chest for finally feeling okay again. but i'm still looking forward to it. :)

That day......you're right, its not earth shattering or revolutionary. At least not for most of us, and the fear from the things that traumatized us is never 100% gone either. But its exactly like you said, one day that scared part of you that's been hiding suddenly realizes its ok not to hide anymore. She might even be timid at first, and sometimes we don't even notice the change until we've taken many smaller steps forward. But all the little things here that you've mention? Lean into those and tell yourself you are gonna be ok.