Don't feel the need to apologize, Storm.
If you need to talk, please feel free to do so! And like Kirin said, you are very, very much loved. We care about your feelings and needs.
I also watched that video of your husband and it was beautifully done! He seemed like a very fun person, I loved when he said he got to be a kid, not only at heart, but also on the outside. He must've been very fun. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Please, if you need to cry, let it out. Crying is really good for you, let yourself experience the range of emotions. And be kind to yourself.
