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maidenroseheart
Can I please come down? ~Simple ...
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#1
Old 12-06-2011, 10:27 AM

I was talking to a fellow Menewshian about my wish to not just role play, though that is fun, but also to challenge myself by writing with multiple characters. The challenge is that in each story, my character's personality either fluctuates a lot or several of my characters are all the same. I want to be able to have a character who stays in character. I want to be able to write with more than one character. She suggested this subforum and I am relieved it exists. So here is where I am going to attempt to boost my creativity, practice staying in character, and have a little fun ^_^

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to give me a hand at letting me know how I did on each short story. I am going to pick a setting, create several characters, and then have a list of events. Each short story will take place around one of those events. I'll keep the event list simple and short so I don't, hopefully, get bored without finishing. This of this as a written tv show with episodes ^_^

When I end a short story... you'll know. Then comment on my stuff to your heart's content. After awhile, I'll probably call a halt so that I can start the next short story in this mini series.

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Setting:

A village setting in the mountains. Samurai style. Natural resources is wood, horses, and a special metal used in their blades. A touch of fantasy thrown in.

Charaters:

Shina - small girl of about 12, lives with her mother, learning her mother's trade of pottery. Giggly and Girly.

Titania - female warrior, about 24, best in the village with a blade, has a quiet demeanor. Likes to teach others.

Jack - male warrior, about 22, not that great of a fighter, has a quick temper. Very confident.

Terk - male priest and healer, ancient, lives in the temple. Is the voice of caution.

Archer - male, about 35, horse trainer. Is the voice of reason.

Sleana - female, about 42, village scout who is usually on patrol with her hawk. A bit anti-social.



Events:

1. Shina's Adventure to Mountain Shrine.

2. Titania's Pupil.

3. Riding Lesson.

4. Invaders.

5. Search for the Treasure.

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Short Story #1

Shina's Adventure to the Mountain Shrine


PART ONE
Shina sat quietly in the corner, carefully using a damp sponge to smooth out the edges of the clay box she had made earlier. Once she was done with this, she would start to add detail. However, it was late enough in the afternoon that her mom might let her go. She sighed happily as she thought about finding a friend to play with.

Her mother, Esmeralda, walked past carrying a beautiful vase. She paused to look at Shina's work, and complimented her on it. Going to put the vase on the center oak table, she carefully seated herself. Shina looked up to watch. This was her favorite part of the pottery process. The firing of the clay. It was beautiful to behold, and even a squirming child became utterly still for the show.

Esmeralda held both of her hands out, palms facing towards the vase. The white stone on her forehead started to glow and blue flames grew around her hands. Gaining in intensity, they started to leap away and lick the clay that was between them. Esmeralda frowned in concentration and the blue magic completely enveloped and filled the vase. Then as quickly as it started, it was done. The vase was no longer pliable clay but hard like rock. However, it was just as light as when it had been clay.

The beauty of these creations was that they didn't break easily. A child could knock them off the table and they wouldn't shatter. Yes, dropping it off a cliff would. However, in a house they were safe. Many of their houses were made of clay too, and hardened by Esmeralda's powers. Shina smiled and asked to be allowed to stop for the day. Gaining the desired answer, she carefully wrapped her artwork in wet towels before sprinting outside.

Giggling after a group of running children, she ended up on the north side of the village. Someone had gotten out some rope and they were jumping with them when an old, worn voice called her over. Turning, she saw the village priest standing there with a smile on his face and a jar in his hands. The first jar she had ever made with blue magic.

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Part Two
Shina walked up to the village priest. His name was Terk. He was so old that she was convinced that he had always lived. He stood there quietly until she reached him, then motioned her to follow him. He started to head for the edge of the village. "Shina, I have a job for you to do. It is a duty really. This jar, you know it?" Shina knodded, curiousity filling her. "Good. When an artist of whatever craft they pursue finally comes to their own talent, they take a token of it to the mountain shrine. The shrine is like a history of our people. You can see how designs in weapons and art have changed, or not changed, over time. It is a trip everyone of our village takes at some point in their lives. That is what you are going to do now." He gave an amused smile at her startled expression.

"Terk, what do I do when I get there? How do I get there? Is this going to take long?" asked Shina with a worried look.

"Not at all. Simply follow the sandy path... yes, the one you have been forbidden from following, up to the shrine. Now that you have come to your talent, the path is no longer closed to you. Simply take this jar of yours up there and set it down. Then come straight back to the village. The patrols know that you are going out today and will keep an eye on you, so you are not to worry.


Shina looked longingly at her friends, then turned back to the priest and knodded. Taking the jar carefully in her hands, she turned and walked out the village gate and towards the sandy path that led higher into the mountains.

maidenroseheart
Can I please come down? ~Simple ...
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maidenroseheart is offline
 
#2
Old 12-07-2011, 09:14 AM

Part Three
Shina had barely gone two steps when a cheery voice called out from the other side of the gate. "Hey Shina! Are you all set for some adventure?" Jack, a warrior of the village stepped into view and winked. Shina gaped at him in open astonishment. He was so hot. All the girls had a crush on him. "What? You think old Terk over there would let you go alone? I don't think so." He walked up to her, put an arm around her shoulders, and propelled her forward.

"So your coming too?" Shina asked hesitantly.

"I sure am," replied Jack with a thumbs up and big grin.

"I see. In that case, will you hold this a second?" She pushed the jar into Jack's hands and skipped to the edge of the path. Since the woods were, well, woods there wasn't many patches of flowers. However, they had walked right beside one and she meant to get some of the pretty pink and purple flowers. Jack watched tolerantly as she picked a few and returned. She gave him a happy smile, "So let's go on."

"Not yet. It is your jar, you will have to carry it." Jack said mildly.

"Oh. Then what about my flowers?" asked Shina with a disappointed voice.

"That is for you to figure out. Consider it your first challenge on this quest to the shrine," Jack said theatrically.

Shina giggled and knodded. Looking between the jar and her flowers, she thought a moment. Then with an "aha" she placed the flowers in the jar and took the jar back. She beamed up at Jack who tossled her hair in approval. "Now we can go on," Jack said.

maidenroseheart
Can I please come down? ~Simple ...
6687.45
maidenroseheart is offline
 
#3
Old 12-08-2011, 12:27 AM

Part Four
They had been walking at a content pace through the woods. Shina liked to comment on anything and everything as only a child can do. She had a tendency to get sidetracked whether it be butterflies or a fun log to jump off of. After about 20 minutes, they were going uphill. It now took more energy so she slowly stopped talking. Jack walked easily enough, however Shina was starting to tire.

"Are we almost there?" Shina whined.

"Not quite," replied Jack. "You will know it. Trust me. The place is hard to miss."

"Why is this such a big deal? It is only a jar. I have made prettier things since this," Shina said between breathes.

"It is a way to show yourself how you have grown. Also, it is a great way to see for yourself the history of our people." Jack grinned at her and encouraged her. "It isn't much longer. We are over halfway there."

Pretty soon they reached a meadow. It was a gorgeous place full of red flowers. At the far end of the meadow was brightly painted rock with the symbols of their village. Slowly stepping out into the sunlight, a gentle breeze tugged at her hair. Shina brightened up and danced in delight. "We're here! We're here!" She sprinted towards ruins and the cave beyond that.

maidenroseheart
Can I please come down? ~Simple ...
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maidenroseheart is offline
 
#4
Old 12-08-2011, 12:00 PM

Part Five
Shina excitedly walked between the stone carvings that towered above her head. She entered the dark cave and stood just inside peering into the darkness. She couldn't make anything out with any of her senses. She couldn't see. No sounds came from within. The air was dry. A gentle breeze barely stirring the air. She impatiently turned to wait for Jack.

Jack walked up to the young child and pulled a torch from his bag. He held it in one hand, and a spark of blue flame leaped from his fingertip to the oil-soaked torch. Flaring into a flaming beacon of light, he grinned at her and winked. She blinked at the torch for a moment, then smiled and turned to walk inside.

As they made their way, Shina noticed the walls covered in blue runes of their village. She felt comfortable among the familiarity of them, but a bit excited too. This was quite the adventure. Reaching a large room, she stood staring in astonishment. Here, the high ceiling far above their heads glowed with millions and millions of tiny blue lights. At the far end was a statue of a horse, rearing with hooves covered in blue fire. Though the horse was but stone, the fire was as blue and real as the blue magic she used in her artistry. Surrounding them were shelves and tables full of ancient artifacts. The most basic of designs, she could easily see when a design flowed from style to style. It didn't matter if it was a weapon, art, or clothing style. She understood each one.

"Pretty cool huh young one?" Jack said quietly. He grinned at her and showed her a place on a table for her own jar. She set it there carefully and stepped back. He placed a tablet in front of it that had her name, the moon age, and her family sign. He then proceeded to play enthusiastic tour guide amid her giggles. When all was done and well, they left that quiet place. A history of their people. A shrine to the past.

THE END. You may now comment on my first short story. Did I represent the characters correctly? Did I keep consistent with their personalities? Anything else you wish to add? Remember, after awhile I will move on to the next story. If I do, then just PM me anything you want to say on this short story.

 


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