I had like three pages to chop out. D8 It was soooo hard to find out what I could salvage and what I could toss without (much) remorse.
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I have written you a story!
Username: Goblin Maiden
Submission:
SPOILERX
Jason strode mechanically to the gathering of trees that stood at the end of the road. He shoved aside a bough that had grown out to conceal a small path down to the beach.
He and Maria had discovered that trail on one of their frequent walks. ‘Come on, Jason, you know you’re curious,’ she had wheedled at him until he’d agreed to see where it led.
He took that path now, until he encountered not dirt, but sand and…
He couldn’t believe his eyes.
A ship, like those Spanish galleons he’d read about in high-school history years ago. It was run up on the sand, torn-edged planks and splinters lying about, as if it had been blasted by canons.
There were lights shining through the holes in the side of the craft, which was tilted crazily as if it might fall onto its side at any moment. And… was that MUSIC he heard drifting from the ship?
‘You know you’re curious.’
Before he knew it, he had crept over to the ship and peered in through a hole that was roughly eye-height, cautious of the splintery sides.
Men and women in elaborate formal dress were whirling hand in hand beneath chandeliers hanging from the white-washed ceiling.
What WAS this? Some over-the-top costume party by one of the rich businessmen in town?
“Jason.”
He yelped, twisting around so fast he nearly fell over.
“…M… Ma…”
She was dressed in the same fashion as the dancing women inside the ship. Her smile was dazzling and only for him.
“Maria,” she finished for him. “Oh, Jason, let me look at you. It’s been so long.”
She reached out towards his face.
Could he be blamed for flinching?
Her smile dimmed. “Of course. You don’t believe it’s me.” She took his hand before he could protest. “See? I’m real, Jason. Or at least solid. Believe what you want. Right now, all that matters is that I’m here with you.
“Now,” Maria continued, her grin brightening slightly. “How’s Becka? I miss her so much.”
His shoulders stiffened. “She’s fine.”
“It’s only been three years; I still know when you’re lying, Jason.” She did not speak further until she had led him through the grand double-doors into the ballroom. He did not know where they had come from, and right now, he didn’t care.
“Is she in trouble?”
They were out on the dance floor, swaying to the song pouring from the orchestra.
“Not exactly, but…” If this was a dream, why wake up? “She wants to go to this party. I told her she couldn’t go. She got mad. She…”
He closed his eyes.
“…said she wishes you were here, instead of me.”
“Oh, Jason.”
“I don’t know what to do, Maria. She listens to me, but only because I’m her father. I think… she resents me.”
There were tears in his wife’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wish I hadn’t gone out… I should have seen that car…”
The dancing around them was a stark contrast to Maria dissolving into tears in Jason’s arms.
“Jason, I’m sorry! In the hospital… Becka was crying, and you looked like… If I were still with you, things wouldn’t be this way between you and Becka. You wouldn’t be--”
“Shh.” He kissed the top of her head. “You couldn’t help that car running the light. You can’t help what’s going on with me and Becka… Maria, why haven’t you moved on?”
“I know it’s been three years. But Jason, I couldn’t do this before. I couldn’t let you know I was still here like this. Because I feel guilty, and it hurts so much… I couldn’t take it anymore. I told myself, ‘next time he comes down to the beach, you’re going to face him.’ But I didn’t know it would be like this.
“Why a ship, of all things? Why these clothes?” She picked at some lace on her voluminous skirt. “That’s the weird thing about being like this. You don’t get a say about anything that happens.”
Jason didn’t answer right away.
“I think you’re wrong, Maria,” he finally said.
“What?” She looked up.
“You do have a say. I think all this is you. How you’ve been until now.” He gestured to the dancers, the holes in the side of the ship. She looked at him as if he were nuts. Which maybe he was. She also looked as if she were thinking as hard as he had been.
“That car… totaled mine, didn’t it? Just… like…” Looking around, she shook her head. “But I don’t get this ball.”
“It’s just like that moment. You loved playing music in your car. And nobody’s stopped dancing, except us, this whole time… You haven’t stopped blaming yourself this entire time.”
She stared at him, then shook her head. “You always were the smart one, Jason Leary.”
He grasped her firmly by the shoulders. “Maria. Listen to me. You have to go.”
“But… You and Becka…”
“We’ll be fine.” Jason was working it out in his head as he spoke. “She’s not a bad girl. She just wants to have a life of her own.”
And he’d always pulled her back from that.
‘If your ears get pierced, you might get an infection.’
‘You’ll fail school if you keep texting so much.’
‘Anything could happen to you at that party!’
“It’s not really her I’ve been protecting. She’s been trying to grow up, and I’ve been stopping her.”
His wife nodded. “I know you don’t want to lose her, but she’s a smart girl. Let her have some reign, Jason. And don’t worry about me.”
She smiled, leaned up and kissed him.
“We’ll all be all right.”
Then everything dissolved like foam into just the sand and sea and himself. And a last lingering voice, as faint as the cry of a far-off gull.
“I love you both. Goodbye.”
Jason stood still for a moment, then turned towards home; he wanted to talk with his daughter.
Final notes: At first I had trouble thinking of something to write about. Then I decided to run with the idea of a party, and it just grew from there. To seven pages in my Word processor. It was painful to cut it down to 1,000 words EXACTLY, but I did it! 8D
It was not fun. But the core of the story is still there. There were some details that I finally decided were unnecessary for a short story and if I wanted to make it into something bigger, I could always add those back in another time I guess, :P
:3 It was really hard deciding what to cut out, though! Some of the heart of the story was cut out a bit by losing so many details D:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goblin Maiden
I had like three pages to chop out. D8 It was soooo hard to find out what I could salvage and what I could toss without (much) remorse.
@Goblin Maiden: I totally understand what you mean
Last edited by heartages; 07-19-2010 at 08:38 PM..
@Mai: Buuuuuuh we had the same idea. Ghost galas are fun! Buuut now I think maybe I should try and come up with a different premise. You beat me to the punch!
@Pearl: I have a hard time distinguishing 'writing well' and 'being creative' in my own work. I think it's really cool that you can see the difference in yours. Any particular way you check? Or is it just something you know?
@Mai: If you didn't want to brick yourself I coulda done it! ;)
I actually won't have much time to write Wensday or Friday. So I'll probably do the editing on the one I wrote (that you beat me to! :illgetu: ) and if I think of anything else I'll try writing it in time.
Thanks, though! I hope whatever I end up submitting is decent!
I have written you a story!
Username: Kattsyn
Submission: Stopping to think...
SPOILERX
As Zilra washed the laundry in the ocean, she though of the day she and the others came to the island, this island, she was so youthful then. People yelling, metal breaking, glass shattering, and wood splintering, these were the sounds that woke Zilra that night. "Run!" someone screamed, 'Where?' thought Zilra. Zilra was one of the lucky ones, she did NOT get on a life boat, as the ship sank into the warm waters the rats ran to the life boats, most people didn't notice them 'till it was to late, after two weeks the rats began to bite people, then eat them, tossing the rats out did nothing to detour them from swimming back, those clinging to debris were poorer and had no problem eating rats. After almost two months adrift the rats were gone but land was on the horizon, "By the Gods, we are saved!" a man cried. On the shore it was evident that other ships had wrecked here before them, a large ship was lying on the beach, Zilra couldn't believe her eyes, it had been CUT in half, not broken. Zilra inspected the huge ship, she suggested putting a long plank to bridge the two half's, sew some of the tarps together, some planks on the ground to sleep on, then put the big tarp over the one long plank and make a tent for the night. After some years they all knew they were never going to be rescued, everyone worked hard to make the island home, there were naming ceremonies for Maggie's babies(twins), then Elma's, Tegwen's, Kathryn's, and finally Zilra's, and the island was named after the ship that was now home, 'Spencer's Cove'. Zilra thought "Life is harder here but it's also much sweeter." "Grandmother!" called Magnus "It's getting late, let me help you!", "Yes so much sweeter for a woman descended for the slave market."
Final notes: The last part was inspired from my one from my grandmother stories(she is a great storyteller!).
Good evening Menewshans... I am pleased to see so many of you have taken on my challenge...
LizzyCollinsDeArc:
Submitting your story before the 25th is over would not be an unwise idea...
Casiana, Woodlandnymph, Skykittykat, heartages, and kattsyn:
Thank you for entries. I look forward to reading them...
nvs:
Please use the wording provided.
I do not count punctuation marks as words, so please use a counting tool that does not.
I am using this website.
Goblin Maiden:
12 extra words will not inconvenience me. You may submit your story as it was. You may add those words back into your submission before I accept it, if you wish.
Pearl:
It is possible to win a prize with skilled writing alone...
Just finished jotting down some basics notes about my story. I'd start writing it now but it's 2am and I'm starting to get tired. I'll have it in within the next few days. I'm quite excited about this :)
I have written you a story!
Username: Vexatious~Venom
Submission:
SPOILERX
She couldn't believe her eyes, it was just so much greater than she had ever expected. It was a swirling mass of colours, from soft golds of the sand to deep azure of the sea. For the first time in her life she was experiencing something that others could only dream of, something no-one else in her family had done: Go to the beach.
Fair enough she had to endure a six hour coach ride with others 'contest winners' some of which were vile and immature, but it was worth it.
She walked onto the sands, feeling the warm grains squish inbetween her toes. She wiggled them in delight. This was the single greatest feeling she had ever had. As much as she loved her home and the life she had, she couldn't help but wish she could live here all the time, leave the city and relax in the perfect vacation spot.
She lay down her red and white striped towel that she borrowed from a neighbour and sat down on it, burrying her feet deep down in the sand. She watched as the other kids from her school who had been lucky enough to win this trip run around, throwing balls and splashing in the sea.
She longed to do something like that. To join in. But would they really accept her in? Someone like her never got accepted. Constantly shunned and forever alone she never really expected it to change.
Sighing she stared out into the calm waters beyond. She watched as the waves made their way in and crashed onto the shore, white froth bubbling on the sand. Her mother had told her to go for a paddle, but of course, hearing some of the stories about shark attacks and box jellyfish she was far too nervous. Did those silly fish really think she was going to prance into the sea, foisting her bare tootsies at them to feast upon? Pfft, she thought not! No, she was quite content on her towel.
Time here seemed to go so slow. If felt as if life had been paused, the clouds didn't appear to move, no wind or rain came and the perfect conditions stayed that way, perfectly perfect in every way.
That's when she saw it. Right on the horizon line. She couldn't be sure at first as it was so far away, but as the tide dragged it in she was certain. A large sea creature of some sort was heading straight towards the beach, and no-one appeared to have noticed.
Her heart began to race and she felt panicked. What should she do? Should she alert the beach goers of what was going on? No...she could see it now. This would make her even more of a laughing stock than she allready was. She curled her knees up to her chin and watched.
Slowly but surely it came closer and closer to the shore. A huge beast of a creature, a pearly white with large black slodges dotted around it's vast body. She gasped as she took in it's form. She had seen this before, only in books of course, and she had never believed it was real. But no, the long lost and rarely spotted Whale Cow did exist, and it was swimming the seas around her.
Passers by had began to notice. They stopped what they were doing, slowly backing away from the waters edge. Children cried and mothers screamed whilst fathers tried to gather their famillies together. Panic has set in and people were rushing from one area to the next, trying desperately to get off of the beach.
But for some reason she wasn't scared. She wasn't worried. She was right up on the sands. The Whale Cow couldn't hurt her. Perhaps this single reasuring thought was what gave her the high of her life, perhaps it was that one thought that made her do one of the stupidest things she had ever done.
She stood up, calmly, and started to walk towards the waters edge. She could hear people from her coach screaming her name, shouting for her to return. But she ignored them. The closer she got the less worried she became.
The Whale Cow was gently bobbing about in the deeper waters, still very near the shore though. It was such a beautiful creature, sucking gently at seaweed and splashing things in a playful manner with its tail.
Perhaps it was the playful nature of the creature that made her do something beyond belief, but whatever it was that made her do this was powerful, and she couldn't resist.
Still fully clothed in her capri pants and tank top she went into the water, she wasn't very keen on water and she wasn't a strong swimmer, but this was different. It felt good. She somehow knew exactly what to do. She slid forwards, somehow gliding towards the creature. It had noticed her by now, and was watching her in curiosity.
She slowly edged into the deeper water, breathing deeply, and moved ever closer to the Whale Cow. It made one of the most bizare noises she had ever heard, sort of between a low moo of a cow and a high-pitched 'woo' that a whale makes. She giggled and swam right up to it.
She tentatively reached out a hand and touched the Whale Cow. It put on something that sort of looked like a smile, and she felt safe. She could still hear the screams from the shore. Treading water she turned around and waved a hand to try and reassure the others.
As she turned she could hear a soft splash behind her and felt an odd pressure on her head. Gently looking up she saw that the Whale Cow was resting a flipper on her head.
The crowd on the beach gasped, but no harm was done. From that moment on she became known as the 'Girl With A Whale Cow On Her Head'
Final notes: Whale Cow On My Head is the greatest item ever <3
Ooh la la!
I JUST read what this thread is all about and I must say I am intrigued.
I attempted to write somethign just now, and created two original characters, that I happen to like, lol.
So good luck to all the writers out there, and let's all give Lise something fun to read.
c ':<
I'm really looking forward to this- I've been brainstorming as of late. I'll definitely have something up within the next couple of days. Honestly, I really miss writing. It's something I haven't done in quite a while, save for a few RPs... perhaps this contest will force me to step up my game and dust off that abandoned corner in my mind called imagination...
I have written you a story!
Username: Esmme
Submission: Fate's Chance
SPOILERX
She couldn’t believe her eyes. She’d asked for a change in her life, but she wasn’t prepared for such trauma. Shara had been with her parents on the deck of the most beautiful ship she’d ever seen. Their vacation had started early, and the three of them had planned on making it a short one – but things rarely go according to plan.
Water swept into the hallway, forcing a few wailing cries up from the people behind them. Shara ran toward the upper deck, sobbing as her dress weighed her down. “Someone help me!”
The black fabric she was decorated in made the young woman stumble, and a few other frantic people pushed their way past her. No one bothered to help Shara as she fumbled with her shoes, tripping on her hem and being swept off of her feet by another rush of frigid water. Crying out for help, she choked on the salty liquid, coughing as she pulled herself to her feet. With her long black hair plastered to her form, Shara shivered and made her way shakily toward the stairway once again.
Out on deck, chaos reigned supreme. Her blue eyes raked over the noisy crowds, searching for either of her parents. “Mama!” Shara pulled on one woman’s arm, only to find a stranger. Sobbing again, the youth headed for another seemingly familiar individual. “Papa?” Nearly hysteric, Shara felt herself become entwined with the crowd, unable to free herself from the tangle of limbs and shouting people that forced their way to the lifeboats. They were sinking, and fast.
A violent shudder rocked the ship, and a chorus of horrified screams rose over the rush of the choppy water. With a quick glance toward the bow, Shara’s breath caught. One of the life boats had tipped, trapping many of its occupants under the water. Surly they wouldn’t be able to reach the surface before being pulled down with the ship? The girl pushed against the sweating individual to her right, stumbling away from the body of people.
Just as panic finally overtook her, a cold hand grasped Shara’s sleeved arm. Looking up with wide blue eyes, she saw a stranger with a stoic expression; calm amongst the storm. The tall elf merely pulled her along, saying nothing as he forced her toward one of the quickly filling boats. When she looked at the occupants, Shara cried out in relief. Her mother and father were amongst the twenty others, clutching one another worriedly.
Feeling herself being lifted from the ship’s slippery deck, Shara touched one of the pale hands that set her down in the escape boat.
“You’re not coming?” Her accented voice was shrill with emotion, and Shara’s gaze flickered back to the silver-haired male. When he shook his head, she snagged his hand. “You can’t stay on the ship!”
Her rescuer smiled grimly, pushing her back into the seat beside her parents before turning his back and heading into the frenzied activity. Shara could only watch him go as her mother’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her close. The family huddled together, shedding tears of joy and fear as they were lowered into the sea. From there, they drifted until someone on board picked up the oars and started paddling toward shore. The sad thing was that they were only a few miles away from land, yet so many would die. Shara clung to her mother, darkness chasing the corners of her vision. It was then that fate dealt a cruel blow.
As they got closer to land, the waves became fiercer, tearing at them like monsters from the depths of the ocean. All at once, the boat tipped, throwing all of them from it’s safety.
Shara shrieked as she felt her mother slip away, pulled back into the roaring water. A bright burst of pain struck her head as the boat moved by, knocking her senseless. As freezing darkness sucked her down, the girl struggled against it. Unfortunately, being desperate didn’t save her from the ocean.
-
“You don’t remember me?”
Shara looked at the pale man in confusion. Her delicate hand fingered the bandage wrapped around her head, and with the slightest of movements, she shook her head.
The elf raked a hand through his silver hair, sighing. Forget it then. “I was there when the ship was sinking,” he said, his duel-colored eyes moving over her freshly cleaned cotton shirt and pants. They weren’t lady’s clothing, but they would have to do until more clothing was brought in from the wreck. “I saw your family.”
Truly, Shara couldn’t remember who she was, who she had been with, or what had happened. “My family?” Sounding shaken, she turned her blue eyes to the elf, watching him desperately. “What of them?”
“They didn’t make it,” the stranger said bluntly. He turned toward the window, leaning against its frame as he watched the busy street below. From the second story of the inn, the elf observed many survivors receiving aid and shelter from the occupants of the town.
Hearing his brusque manner, the young woman ducked her head, frowning. She didn’t remember her parents, but the words drew a veil of sorrow over her heart. “Oh.” A silence filled the room, and Shara fiddled with the thin blanket of the bed she was borrowing before gathering the courage to speak again. “Who are you?”
With a raised eyebrow, the tall elf merely shook his head. “Another survivor,” he muttered, turning away from the morning light. Stepping over to her bed, he offered a hand in a brisk motion, his smile grim. “I am someone who is ready for a second chance at life.”
As soon as her hand met his cold touch, Shara smiled at the scene that flickered through her mind. A savior. A second chance for the both of them.
Final notes: Always up for creating something with writing. *taps end of gold-inked feather*
__________________
Es apologizes for any delays - she has just moved and is piecing things together again. If Es is behind on something, feel free to poke her.
I have written you a story! Username: Rainbows Submission:
SPOILERX
Karyn had grown used to her parents leaving her behind by the age of eight. That didn’t change the fact that it stung, even now, at seventeen years old. This morning, she’d woken up to find a box of half-eaten doughnuts and a scribbled note resting on the kitchen counter:
karyn
went out with daddy. be back by the weekend
love, mommy ♥
Nibbling on a slightly-stale and jelly-filled doughnut, Karyn gazed out the window. She frowned at the beautiful sunrise; they must have left while she was sleeping. Setting her jaw, she grabbed the note, crumpled it into a tiny ball, and promptly threw it out the open kitchen window for a gull to catch. Storming out through the sand-blasted screen door, she stomped into her flip-flops and onto the beach.
I won’t cry, I won’t cry, I won’t cry – she’d accepted the jelly-filled peace offering, after all.
“I won’t cry…” Very convincing. She ignored the trail of moist spots in the sand behind her and ran to the edge of the ocean, letting the salty water lap at her toes. A deep breath slowed down the tears, and a step further made her thoughts stop racing. One more eased her heart. One last step allowed the waves to crash into her and almost throw her off balance, bringing a slight smile to her face.
She didn’t want to dwell on it, but she did. When she saw the note, she couldn't believe her eyes. Despite the strong desire to forget about it completely, her bitter thoughts ploughed through all mental defenses she was frantically attempting to erect. Today was Monday. Tomorrow was Tuesday. Tuesday was going to be the biggest day in her dancing career. She was an amateur, of course, but there was going to be a scout at tomorrow’s show; she was confident in her talent and that the scout would want her. She wanted more than anything right now to know that her parents would be at the show. She didn’t care that they hadn’t come to see her dance for nearly two years; they said they would come. She needed them to be there, just this once.
“Please…” Her smile had long ago disappeared, and the tears were threatening to spill over again. “Please, come back tonight.” She chewed on her lip, her body sagging as if being pulled down by something dreadfully heavy. “Tomorrow, even… Just, please. Be there.” Despair.
She spoke to the ocean as if it could relay her message to her parents, as if it could whisper into their ears no matter the distance. She confided, in tears and anguish, in the ocean, even though she knew it would never happen. They wouldn’t be back until Sunday, next Monday, or maybe even later. They wouldn’t ask what they had missed, they wouldn’t care, and they wouldn’t listen if they were told. They never did.
“If they won’t watch me...” She turned up her chin, spreading her arms to take in the golden sunlight. “Someone will.” Sea birds soared above her, searching for foolhardy fish to swoop down to and steal away. “The birds know.” The waves around her shone, catching the sun and turning it into a rippling canvas of glitter. “The ocean sees.” She closed her eyes and fell backwards, plumes of water jumping into the air around her.
Her flip-flops slipped off her feet as she slowly sank. They floated beside her, seemingly sad to see such talented feet drifting away from them. The water above Karyn foamed and splashed as streams of bubbles rose from beneath. She was letting the ocean into her, rejecting the air and her parents. They didn’t matter anymore. They weren’t there for her. They weren’t pulling her out of the water. They weren’t being pulled away by a powerful undercurrent.
Final notes: My intention was to write a story to elaborate on a mini-poem I wrote earlier today, but it (obviously) didn't turn out that way. It was fun to write, nevertheless :sweat:
An incantation in morning light
Dew on grass, sparrows' flight
Carefree dances, never slight
The future always looked so bright.
comments and critique welcome. I'm reading other stories right now @w@
