Panic attacks. I get them.

They've ranged from I'm-seriously-incapacitatingly-freaked-out-right-now-but-I'm-not-entirely-sure-this-fits-all-the-criteria-for-a-panic-attack to full blown hyperventilating, uncontrollable sobbing, thoughts of death, trying-to-peel-my-skin-off textbook panic attacks. They suck!

The other day I discovered that my neighbor, a mother of four, has severe panic attacks. Multiple times a day. I can't even imagine that. She told me how, for the longest time, she had no idea what was wrong with her and didn't know that panic attacks were a "thing." She thought she was the only person to ever experience this and so she kept it secret. But then she discovered what anxiety disorder is and has felt huge relief just knowing she's in company.

We talked for a bit about our experiences and it was just really nice for me to talk to someone who knew what I was talking about and had experienced everything I had. So I thought... hey, this is a forum. With people. And there's a good chance at least a few people here struggle with severe anxiety and panic attacks!

So use this thread to share your experience, coping methods, techniques for calming down and ending the attack (or relieving non-attack anxiety), and ask for advice.

Please remember that the internet is no substitute for psychiatric advice. Do not try anything that sounds like it could be dangerous. Do not try gradual desensitization techniques or anything else that sounds "dangerous" without the help of a trained mental health professional. Please seek help for your anxiety from a mental health professional if it is at all possible for you to do so. This thread is for sharing experiences, not playing psychologist.

Further reminders:

• Please remember that diagnosis labels are not to be taken lightly. Everyone experiences anxiety. Getting nervous in situations that warrant it or having a few quirks doesn't make you mentally ill. I will not shame self-diagnosis for those who cannot seek professional help for whatever reason, but please make sure you do your research before applying any labels to yourself. That being said, those who do not have an anxiety disorder but do have significant anxiety (or experience with those who do) are still quite welcome to share.
• Never, ever play the "you're not sick enough" game. Someone's anxiety may not be as bad as yours - that does not mean their feelings are illegitimate. They just have a different, still valid, experience.

I have some serious anxiety problems. So much so that it led to some very bad depression in high school and thoughts of suicide. My friends were incredibly concerned for me back then and ended up telling the guidance counselor about my problem even though I asked them not to do so. I went to a therapist only 2 times who helped me figure out that it was my anxiety that was the root of the problem and to start putting things into perspective.

While that helped, I kept the fact that I was STILL depressed hidden for another year and a half while fighting it on my own before I realized I was starting to come out of it. I am no longer depressed. However, I still get some really bad anxiety.

I didn't know what panic attacks were for the longest time. But things would make me feel really anxious, I would breathe really hard and fast, crying was always involved. One time...when I was 22 I was at the doctors office for a 10 A.M. appointment. I had to get back home to get my dad to work by 1 p.m. At 12:30 the nurse FINALLY came out to bring me back and I had a full blown panic attack right there in the doctors office because I was freaking out that I wasn't going to get home in time to get my dad to work on time. Hypervenilating, crying, etc. The nurse calmed me down and said to come back in an hour after I dropped my dad off. WHen I came back they brought me right back and started the appointment. They asked me, "have you ever had panic attacks before?" and I'm all, "what the hell is a panic attack?" and they were like, "That meltdown you had in the lobby...that's a panic attack" and I'm like, "Oh, that happens a lot!" XDDD

I had no idea.

I have been trying to get better at managing my anxiety. Really thinking through things before I react. Controlling it. Thinking of happy thoughts. Putting things into perspective. Since then, I have learned to control them a bit more. I STILL have panic attacks when things get really stressful. But it really helps to think of the perspective of the entire thing.

Oh man, I'm so sorry you didn't know what was happening to you for so long. I was lucky enough to know exactly what was happening to me every time it happened. They still suck, but at least I know I'm not having a heart attack/dying/going insane/what have you. And I can tell myself "this is a brain malfunction. This will end. STOP HYPERVENTILATING, THERE'S NO NEED FOR THAT, TAKE A DEEP BREATH RIGHT NOW SO HELP ME"

Can you elaborate on what you mean by "getting perspective" to stave off panic attacks/anxiety? You don't need to use personal details, but maybe share as coping advice?

The worst panic attack I had nearly ended with me passing out. Very much a case of can't breathe I'M DYING D8 but it did get me 15 minutes extra for my exams. I think maybe I should've let myself pass out and shared the panic with the exam invidulators.

Oh my goodness, it was during an exam? That sounds like the worst, since you can't even let yourself ride it out since you've got that "MUST GET BETTER RIGHT NOW AND DO THIS TEST BEFORE THE TIME'S UP" pressure hanging over you. Only giving you 15 extra minutes is balls, too. :/ I mean, better than nothing, but a better approach probably would have been to let you leave and take care of yourself and redo it later.

I'm so sorry that happened. Hyperventilating is awful. It's only happened to me the one time, but it was really scary. I was able to snap myself out of it and say "YOU HAVE ENOUGH AIR, YOU FEEL LIKE THIS BECAUSE YOU'RE BREATHING WRONG. JUST STOP AND TAKE DEEP BREATHS" but I know that certainly doesn't work for everyone. I can't usually snap myself out of it. My face was all tingly for a bit after. and I was dizzy. @_@ I probably would have passed out if I hadn't stopped...

It ment I got 1 hour 15 for most exams and 1 hour 20 for English exam. I seemed to do well as I got a grade C in science which was the exam it was in. It doesn't seem like alot of extra time but it did give me that slight ease in pressure of how much time I had.

You know when you're going because everything starts getting heavy before you get like tunnel vision when you're going to faint. I only know that you get tunnel vision from nearly fainting after the nurse had to fight me for my blood.

As long as it makes you feel better, that's all that matters.

I've never actually fainted before, so I don't know what it feels like. I just knew I was feeling dizzy.

My experience with anxiety and panic attacks is extensive but also limited. Anxiety runs in my family. My mom, my sister, and I all have it. We have different kinds, however. My Mom has depression coupled with anxiety, my sister just has anxiety, and I have social anxiety. My first experience with panic attacks and the like was when I was younger than about 7. I was with my Mom, going to the bank. She told me to sit in the car, because she wouldn't take long. True to her word, she was out before long. My Mom got back in the car, shut the door, and completely broke down. She just started crying and shaking and hyperventilating. I was scared and confused, as I'd never been exposed to this type of behavior before - I was 7, everything was supposed to be happiness and rainbows. Growing up, I learned exactly what it was that had happened.

I've helped my sister through a few attacks, when her anxiety was getting bad her senior year of High School. I recently had my first panic attack. It was small, but I believe it's still qualified as one. It came about, as I was feeling extremely paranoid and scared one night. I'm usually like this at night, but I've never been more than that, so it took me by surprise. I didn't realize what had happened, I was so surprised by it. You figure someone whose seen it in others would know what was going on, but I was totally clueless. It wasn't until I told my Mom about it the next day, and her pointing out to me, that I found out. My Mom takes medicine for her depression, but it also helps with her anxiety, and she hasn't had attacks like she used to. My Dad takes a similar medicine, but it's for his anger issues.

Now, what I mean by "extensive but limited", because even with all these experiences, there still so much I don't know about anxiety. My Mom never talked about it with me. All I know about it is from these experiences and what I could dig up over the internet.

i'd been finicky for the majority of my life but not what one would call anxious by any means up until i was about 14. my dad left and things started to slip for me at school and in my athletics. i was always under a lot of pressure in high school because i was at a very high level in competitive swimming, practicing for 25+ hours a week and attending school regularly. when my dad left i just felt everything crumbling and my ability to manage my stress and anxiety flew out the window. i had to quit swimming and i was unable to go to school.

my panic attacks escalated to the point where i would be lying on the floor screaming at the top of my lungs repeatedly, my mind and body were just locked in this state of intense stress and fear. i ended up having to get my GED and i was in and out of a mental hospital for that and depression but i've managed to cope with my anxiety and i haven't had a serious panic attack in over 2 years. i'm super proud of myself. my chest still gets tight and i feel my breath catch sometimes, but i've learned how to calm myself down and also just how to live with anxiety in general.

When I was a little younger I was diagnosed with clinical depression (it runs absolutely rampant in my mother's side of the family) and general anxiety.

I've never had a panic attack that I know of (I don't know what they'd feel like if I did), but I did have a really bad anxiety attack on the night of my high school graduation. I was about to get into the all-night party my school was hosting (that I had paid for!) and along with having broken out in the worst hives I'd ever gotten (all down my legs and arms, super red and puffy and actually kind of painful) I started to feel like my heart was racing for no reason, then sick to my stomach, then dizzy, then short of breath, so I called my dad and he took me home. Lame. :c

I might have had some sort of attack during my AP english exam in my senior year. I completely blanked, and I cried and actually forfeited. I couldn't get a grip on myself for some reason. I didn't make a scene, I just sat there until it was over and didn't tell anyone I'd given up until after it ended, ahaha. We live and we learn.

I've gone through a mental hospital once and I used to take medication to help my depression, but I felt like they were hurting my already dinky ability to stay focused, so I quit cold turkey and haven't taken anything since. I don't usually get panic or anxiety attacks, but I do have depressive episodes frequently that last... I dunno, anywhere from an hour to a whole day. I'm kind of in denial about my own issues, though. :<

I do not get panic attacks, as it is nearly impossible for my heart rate to pick up enough for such a thing. But I must admit, I do love when others have them. The sound of that thumping heart; blood rushing through their veins...

*stalks outside of Cherry's house to listen in on be available to console her during the next panic attack*

Mental illness is a very serious, debilitating, and life-altering matter. Panic attacks are extremely scary, unpleasant experiences. This is a real thing, not a fictitious RP joke. I would recommend you do some research and try to understand what that's like instead of making vampire jokes. This is not a roleplay.

that was really out of line. there are certain things that are never to be joked about and mental illness is one of them.

Yeah, wow, talk about poor fucking taste.

Anyways.
I used to have anxiety attacks a lot. My two worst ones actually ended up with me getting thrown out of my mother's house, then out of my aunt's after that. I always had severe mood swings, and I'd been suffering from depression for about three years at that point, but my depression really nosedived for the two years after that.

It's kind of weird, but now that I'm "better" (or rather, functioning like a human being and not freaking out like a lunatic 90% of the time instead of 10% of the time--I don't think this is a thing that can really go away completely unmediated), I can barely remember what it was all like. I remember the worst moments, and random snapshots of some nervous moments in my life, but it doesn't keep me up at night with random crying spells and self-loathing like it used to. Even the stuff I do remember is kind of slipping away over time.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad I'm moving on and learning to let things go, but at the same time I'm kind of mourning the person I used to be. Not to mention, losing something that used to mean so much, even if it was because I was being really, really toxic to myself, is kind of scary.

I don't know if any of that made sense.

You're recovering.

Anxiety issues cause memory problems, for real. There are years of my life for which I have... not as much memory as I think I should. Years sort of blend together and I remember stuff here and there. But other times I'll read an old blog post or journal entry in which I wrote about some really serious emotional issue I had been having for months at that time... and I don't remember it at all. Only when I read about it can I vaguely remember that being an issue. But I remember myself being mostly okay last Spring, yet I unearthed this blog post in which I wrote about feeling numb and foggy for the previous few months. What?

It's freaky, but there's not much you can do about that loss. What's been forgotten generally isn't anything pleasant worth remembering anyway.

You're recovering. You're not losing any aspect of yourself, you're improving it. The broken parts are mending. You're just not used to seeing yourself so whole.

I'm the exact same way--there's complete years, even as recently as three years ago, that are almost completely blank. I might remember a single stand alone event from time to time, or I'll suddenly remember something that was really important to me at one point (and just as promptly forget about it again), but I couldn't give anyone a basic narrative of my personal life from during those times to save my life. And even if I do remember a specific event, I'll be damned if I can recall what I was feeling emotionally during it. It doesn't help that for the longest time, I didn't like "whining" in my personal journal/diary, so if I go back to reread those entries, there's no clue as to whether or not I was having some serious problems at the time or not.

At the same time it's kind of funny--before I started going to therapy and seriously trying to improve myself, my long term memory was crystal clear, but trying to remember anything that happened a week or two in the past was impossible. Now it seems like it's the exact opposite half the time.

EDIT: Okay, decided to look up a full a list of anxiety symptoms, AND THERE IS SO MUCH THERE THAT MAKES SENSE NOW. Especially in the vein of things that are caused by anxiety, but aren't entirely serious in of themselves, like:

Nausea
Burning Tongue
Brain Fog
Eye Tricks
Teeth Grinding
Thoughts, mental images, concepts, songs, or melodies that "stick" in your mind and replay over and over again
Repetitive thinking or incessant ‘mind chatter’
Deja vu
Dizziness
Fear that you are losing your mind
Cold chills

Didn't include symptoms that I already knew were associated with anxiety, but these ones really surprised me. I thought experiencing them was completely normal.

Huh, wow! I used to think I had mild OCD because I get these things that just get stuck in my head. It doesn't happen as much now as it used to, but I used to get it well beyond the typical "song stuck in your head" thing everyone gets. It would be downright obsessive, where my brain would be playing it OVER AND OVER AND OVER for literally days. A few times it would be more than a week. I would be so sick of it, but it seemed like the more I got annoyed by it the worse it got...

And yeah, brain fog is a big issue for me. ><

I'm almost always anxious. In fact, thinking about being anxious makes me anxious if that makes sense. I've had quite a few panic attacks in my day and I found it's really hard for me to control them on my own. I have like...the opposite of claustrophobia when I start to panic. I like to be in small, enclosed spaces. Honestly if I'm by myself I'll take my comforter and my dog into my bathtub and curl up in a little ball and just try to breath through it. I don't know what I would do without my dog because I've learned how to control my panic attacks by paying attention to another's heartbeat. When my wife is around she's a lot better at helping calm me down. She's really strong so she'll tuck all my limbs into me (I can't really move when I have panic attacks) and hold me really tight. And then she'll tap her heartbeat out on my back so I can try and slow my breathing down.

On a normal day though my anxiety is just always around. I've had a few people think I had OCD because there are certain things I have to do to keep my anxiety level low. Like I always need to know where my dog and my cat are. Even though I live in a one bedroom apartment it's like I'm terrified they're going to somehow escape. Also I check the oven like 3 times a day to make sure it's off even if I haven't used it at all. Plus it gets really hard for me to leave my apartment. I'm always afraid that if I leave something will go terribly wrong...

I'm sorry to hear it's so severe, but how lovely that you have a wife who is so good at taking care of you when you need help. Take care that it doesn't develop into agoraphobia, though. Have you spoken with a therapist, or would you be at all able to start doing so? It can be scary in itself, but help... well, it helps.

I do have a therapist. I've bounced around to different ones since I was 13. I'm 22 now. Although, I haven't been back to my therapist in a while. My mom actually passed away about 4 months ago and I haven't felt ready to talk much about it in person. I know it's a little weird. I'm probably in the most need of a therapist right now and I really don't want to go back. Usually though when I'm feeling anxious or panicky I would call my mom if my wife wasn't around. Now, unfortunately, I can't do that.

As for agoraphobia I do know that I'm almost at that point. Luckily my friends and family have all been very supportive of it. They know it's hard for me to go out often so every couple of weeks someone will come over and just take me for a drive or out to dinner or something so I can get used to leaving more. It really does help.

Since my mom died, though, my anxiety has kind of faded back to depression. I can never decide which one is easier to deal with...

I'm so happy to hear you have such an extensive support system!

It is completely understandable to not feel ready to talk about your mother's passing! But remember that a therapist would also understand this, and you could talk about something else. Though the depression could be related in some way, I'm sure your therapist could help you work with it at least a little without broaching the subject of your mother. You could prepare an opening line like "My mother passed away. I'm not ready to talk about it, but I would like to talk about other things that have been bothering me," and then launch into some of what you've been feeling lately. I don't know if your agoraphobic tendencies (please let me know if using that term bothers you!) predate your last session, but that could certainly be a productive topic to discuss with them.

Some therapists may push through a client's comfort level to get down to the heart of the issue, but they also have a good understanding of the grieving process. If you're not ready to talk about it and say so, your therapist ought to respect that. So if that is the major point in not wanting to go, I would think that your therapist's office is a safe place where that fear won't be realized. And of course, if your therapist has ever given you any reason to feel that they do not provide a safe space for you, it might benefit to look for a new one.

Yeah, I'm really lucky to have so much support. Most of it comes from my wife's family since my dad and my sister both live in different states. I can't believe I have such great in-laws but I'm happy I do.

I appreciate all your advice Cherry. And no agoraphobia isn't a term that bothers me. More often than not I use it to explain how I feel to other people because it's easier to explain than "sometimes I get uncomfortable leaving my apartment and being around people but not all the time and I'm dealing with it", haha.

I don't know if you have experience with this but I always feel uncomfortable directing the conversation in my therapy sessions. Although, she's usually been pretty good about bringing up a lot of topics and letting me pick which one I want to talk about. The only problem is that I've only been seeing her since February and my mom passed away in April so we don't have a lot of history. Like I said I've kind of bounced around to different therapists and I haven't made a great connection with anyone really. I had a great therapist in high school but when I moved out of state for college I couldn't see her anymore. See, my mom had cancer since I was about 15 and my high school therapist was with me through the whole thing and it's so hard to go back into history when I get a new one. Know what I mean? Anyways, I appreciate you being around to talk I guess that's mainly what I need right now.

I was definitely thinking that a therapist you had history with could be good for you right now. It's so much easier when they already know you well and you don't have to go back and explain your whole life story just to get up to what's bothering you NOW. That's part of why I think it would be beneficial to resume your sessions - your current therapist can't get to know you if you don't see them. And as tiring as it might be to have to drudge up the past for some explanations, you might not have to go over every moment of your past just for your therapist to understand you now. If something is relevant or your therapist asks, go back. But I don't think you will have to feel dread over having to explain every moment of your past upon sitting down in their office.

Directing conversations can definitely be uncomfortable. It feels weird to just sit down and talk about yourself. But it's what you're there to do! Listening to people's problems is your therapist's job, and if you come in with something you specifically want to talk about/address/work towards resolution, that gives both of you a clear goal. Otherwise your therapist may zero in on something else to address - and while it would be beneficial none the less, it would not be the thing you specifically wanted to address. Also setting a goal for something to work on might help ease any anxieties that your mother may come up in conversation - if you know what you will be talking about and feel you have control over that, it could relieve anxieties about the topic wandering.

By all means, take more time off if you think that is what is best for you. But I know for myself, sometimes what I want to do is not driven by what is best for me, but by my fears and apathy. I cannot speak for what drives your reluctance to go back, but remember that going back can help you. When you're ready.

I wonder if it's not a trend in our society now that causes a lot of stress and panic attacks. For instance, how it's considered taboo to talk about having a disorder or slight mental instability--one of those "don't air your dirty laundry" kind of things and it really isolates a person. Or how we focus children so much on having a career and getting a grade or test that it can hurt their development (e.g. example above with swimming and sports).

In my own experience, I've only ever had one definite panic-attack from a car accident.

I can't seem to find it at the moment, but there's been this comic going around that highlights what you're talking about. It's showing the different ways people talk about various maladies - posting on facebook about the flu, asking someone to sign their cast, etc. and then the panel labelled "mental illness" just has two people saying, "hey."

Yeah, we don't talk about mental illness. Which is awful because about half of Americans (and likely similar statistics for other countries, but I only know the US stats) will qualify for a mental illness diagnosis at some point in their lives. But we persist in thinking of mental illness as "being crazy," and no one wants to be that. So no one talks about it. So while people might know that these disorders exist, they don't really know what they look like... so they don't recognize them in themselves. Thus they don't realize that what's happening to them is something documented and they think they're the only one with this problem.

I have a neighbor with severe anxiety. She would get panic attacks every day, if not multiple times a day. But she had no idea what they were or what was happening to her, so she honestly thought she was the only one this had ever happened to. She's a mother of four, you know, in her late 30s probably, and she's been dealing with this since she was a teenager or kid. And she only just in this last year or so found out what is happening to her and that she is so far from alone in it.

It's a tragedy. People hide their problems because they don't know what's wrong with them and they think it's abnormal and they're freaks or something. Thus they don't get the help they need, allowing their condition to worsen, for their thought patterns to become even more maladaptive and feed into the illness.

I do my best to be upfront with people about my problems. If I'm trying to explain why I don't feel comfortable with something, I'll outright tell someone "I have an anxiety disorder." If that doesn't seem to get through to them what I'm saying, I'll say "I'm mentally ill." If they want to decide I must be "crazy" for that, so be it. But I think people would have a rough time finding me "crazy" when I'm a generally nice, rational, "normal" person - just sometimes big social things make me have to go to a bathroom to cry. If I'm going to seem like anything, it's just "sensitive," "weird," or "maladjusted," not "crazy." I get a lot of people who don't really understand what I'm trying to tell them - but I don't (that I know of) get people thinking I'm just "nuts." I'll explain what it means to them if the opportunity presents itself or they ask, but otherwise at least I'm putting it on their radar - that this is a thing that some people have.