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Menelaus
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Old 04-05-2015, 12:41 AM

The Lost Boys




The friendships of adult life are no less profound than the friendships of childhood.
In many ways, the bonds we form as men are more serious than the alliances we have as boys, because now they are tested by all the trials and tribulations of maturity.
You drift through the years, and friendship seems to amount to meeting your pal in some crowded restaurant or bar every month or so.
But stick around, and soon you will see your friend through love gone wrong, problems with children, career trauma, and all the other horrors of adult life, and he will do exactly the same for you.
That's when, if he is a true friend, you will realize that you care about him just as much as the friend you had as a boy.
But still, you can't knock on his front door without a very good reason anymore.
And sometimes i miss the years when i didn't have to Look into my diary to work out when i could see my friends.
Now and again i miss the intensity of the friendships we had as boys.
And i miss my pal.
I remember sitting up a tree with my friend, having a farting competition.
This is going back a bit.
But i clearly remember that we sat up that tree, laughing ourselves to the point of nausea, and back again.
Just two vulgar young lads, sitting up a tree in Hyde Park, but i will remember that day for the rest of my life.
In those days my friend could knock on my door, day or night, and be guaranteed a warm welcome.
Or i could go to his door, and know i'd be fed, entertained, and given a place to rest my cropped head.
It was like having two homes.
It is not like that anymore.
Of course it's not like that anymore!
My friend and i didn't have diaries.
And the reason we didn't have diaries, was because our lives back then were simple and carefree.
Beyond the school gates, all we had to worry about was entertaining ourselves.
Work, the great dictator of a man's life, had yet to begin it's fifty year reign of terror (apart from my friends paper route).
And naturally, these days, i can't barge into the home of my friend and interrupt what they are doing,
quality time with their children, a small dinner party, or tea with the in- laws,
with demands of a farting competition.
I realize that it can never again be like it was for my friend and I.
But i don't think it is wrong to mourn those days when friendship came first.
When you're a boy, friends are a permanent presence in your life.
They are ally, companion, and support network.
Perhaps it is only when we are boys, unencumbered by all the baggage of adult lives; careers, and exhaustion, that we truly understand the nature of friendship.
nowadays, friends, even friends I love like brothers, are more distant figurines.
These friends, even the ones that will be there forever, are on the margins of my life.
Just as i am on the margins of their lives.
Our meetings have to be meticulously planned, because time is so scarce.
And while i do understand the need for that formality, sometimes it seems like a negation of friendship.
Because total, all consuming friendship, is the province of boys, not men.
Yet the years of total friendship last for a surprisingly long time.
Even when you have grown to young manhood, friends are still central to your existence.
There is still that unspoken assumption that, whatever you are going to do, you will do it together.
It lasts until the very first time you get serious with a girl.
It lasts until you decide to narrow down your world to one sweet face, and we let our friends slip away too easily.
There are always millions of fantastic women in the world, but there are only ever a few special pals you don't need any more.
What happened to my friend and me?
Grew apart, i guess.
I don't even have his telephone number.
And if we met, I don't honestly know if we would have that much to say to each other.
Sometimes you take off in different directions, and end up calling to each other over vast, empty space.
Friends are no different from women, or colleagues.
We go in and out of each others lives like bus boys in a restaurant.
Yet, Just as separating from a woman does not mean that you never loved her, so growing apart from a pal does not mean that your friendship wasn't real.
So, my friend, if you're reading this, i would love to get together for old times sake.
Yes, life has changed out of all recognition.
But i am up for another farting competition, if you are ��

by Menelaus

(critique and comments welcome)

Last edited by Menelaus; 04-05-2015 at 10:21 PM..

 


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