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Fluttershy
The one who will always help.
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Fluttershy is offline
 
#1
Old 03-02-2012, 09:33 AM

Fluttershy's Drabbles


I've been hitting dead ends and more dead ends with my writing lately, so... I've decided to set up this little drabble thread up to try and remedy the matter, or just get these rogue thoughts out of my head before they drive me crazy.

This isn't just my thread, though, anyone can post! It can be as long or short as you like, relating to anything you decide as long as it stays within Mene's regulations, eh? I'll start posting soon enough, I'm a little busy right now. Thought I'd just start it off so I can come back later.

Fluttershy
The one who will always help.
0.16
Fluttershy is offline
 
#2
Old 03-31-2012, 08:19 PM

Today I lost my job. I should feel bad about it, sad, worried. I’m not. I’m just wondering when the newspaper comes so I can look around for another.

Got up late this morning. Almost ten. I was still pretty tired, though. The paper came yesterday. And today. I got them both and never even opened them.

Maybe later.

I’m bored, but can’t find what to do. I should really look in those papers, but I can’t find the energy... No ambition.

Went to bed early last night, but still got up after eleven this morning. Maybe I’ll get out today, take a walk, even look into a job opportunity; there’s always something in one of those restaurants or gas stations, an office job, even.

Maybe tomorrow.

Papers are piling up. Been told I won’t get anymore if I don’t clean them from the step. I know, I have to, I’ll do it later. And I should really clean the place, it’s getting dirty. Dishes, clothes... Dusting really needs done.

Fridge is nearly empty too. I don’t have much in food but some instant noodles and bread, nearly stale, some jars with peanut butter and jelly. I should go shopping.

Not right now...

Lost my house today. It was a rental, and I was way behind. Sold my bike, car, and what furniture people would buy, but money didn’t last long. I don’t want to go to some shelter, though. I don’t want to be looked down on.

I know I really need to find a job, but I don’t have clean clothes, and only a few cents. No one would hire me. I’m just some... bum. I should really... do something.

But I can’t now. I’ve lost everything. I don’t even know where my immediate family is. Couldn’t ask them for help, though, I wouldn’t. I got lazy. I got slow. And this is my punishment.

I’m sick.

Today I was beaten and left for dead in the alley I tried to call a temporary home. Apparently I was on the wrong side of town, and they wanted to show me who’s boss. I got the message, that’s for sure, and I think a couple bones got the worst of it. I’m having trouble walking, and my shoulder really hurts me now. I can hardly move my hand...

I don’t want to think about the future. I don’t want to know what happens to me. I can’t sleep, I can’t find much to eat without begging. I want my house back. My job back. I want my old life back.

Last edited by Fluttershy; 03-31-2012 at 08:21 PM..

Fluttershy
The one who will always help.
0.16
Fluttershy is offline
 
#3
Old 04-01-2012, 05:38 AM

Mom and Dad haven’t spoken to me in years. I don’t care. They never cared, so why should I? It doesn’t matter. Nothing does to me. I yelled at a kid today. She burst into tears and ran off and I got a pinched glare from her mother. I don’t care. It made me happy, to make that kid cry. Better her than me. Better I hurt her, instead of the other way around.

Someone decided to preach to me about kindness and faith today. I wanted to wring their scrawny little neck. He was probably a hypocrite anyway. I’m not, that’s for sure.

Bastards.

Humanity. I hate it. I hate humanity; my humanity, and everyone else’s. It makes for useless husks. Killing the world. We’re a plague. I’d like to see us all fall into the pit we crawled out of. Fools. Useless, pathetic fools. All of us. I’m not immune, I know my faults and failures, that’s all we are.

No one likes me. I bring them down, they say, turn moods sour. Good. Why should we be happy when all we have to look forward to is death? Doesn’t matter what we do in life, we’ll be dead regardless.

I hate them all.

Someone smiled at me today. The nerve. What would that gesture show? Kindness? Affection? None. He doesn’t know me. My words were quick and sharp after that, I hardly controlled them. The devil inside, that vivid clarity that lets me see the world for what it really is, gives me my words. It made him cringe, though, and back away. I think I scared him.

It’s cold today. People bundled up in fake fur and drapes. If we were made for cold we would have thicker fur in more places than on our head. It makes me sick. I just hate it. I hate seeing others surviving when natural selection should have just killed them long ago.

Why are we here?

It doesn’t matter. I’ve never felt love. I’ve never felt a moment’s happiness. I thought I could gain some away from home, away from the source of my pain, but no matter where I went, pain followed. It clung to me, like it clings to me now. I had no friends, no one to relate to, and no one to share my misfortune. People avoided me. They whispered about me and my... my oddities. How dare they? How dare they...?

I never hated them before. I never condemned them for what they believed. Why should I have to endure that? Why do I have to deal with intolerance? All because of my stupid, bastard parents. It’s their fault!
Their fault...

I’m sorry.

I never should have acted the way I did... The way I do...

It’s my fault. I missed out on so much because I just couldn’t look past my own bitterness. And now I can’t get those chances back.

 


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