I was... a zombie for three years, still trying to snap out of it. I know exactly how she feels. I guess you can find comfort that her soon passed away dearly loved... At least it is something.

is there anything i can do to help her Lavender?
i am the daughter she never had and she still loves me, i know it, but she just isn't the same.
and i do miss her terribly.

It all really depends... I know it would fix me just to have a real friend in real life, you might try to be close to her and take care of her as much as you can. I would try asking her subtly.

i call her all the time but she always says she is okay.
i live half a country away sadly.

we must find you a real life friend!

----------

this was big in Japan when it came out.
it was on every entertainment show you could think of and even on all the new shows!

Wher eI live? Fat chance.
Hmm... Sounds like she really needs someone in real life, too. I have people who care all over, just not in my town. You will never, ever, not in a million years make her completely better. To be honest, maybe there is just nothing you can do with phone calls.

she has friends but it is like her light is gone.
she still cares about things but just not with the same excitement.
i went to see her for mother's day and she was all smiles at the air port.
but later that day i could see how much she was missing him.
i gave her a double orchid, one from me and one from my cousin.
i caught her putting it in the fridge to keep it preserved.
i asked why she didn't just enjoy it out on the table or by her bedside.
she just told me she wanted it to stay alive as long as it could.
*cries*

and why not find a friend where you are?
do you live in an isolated location?

Oh, my... That is so very symbolic of her sadness. I have to say that deeply touched me in a very melancholy way... I think you should prepare for her being that way forever. She had a big tragedy, one of the biggest ones possible in our kind. She may pull out of it somewhat, but never completely.

*sigh*
i think you might be right about that.
i wish there was someting i could do for her.

if you ever need to talk please feel free to pm or ping me.
and if you think of anything that i could do for her that has helped you please pass it on to me.

i did send her a 'Godmother' bracelet for her birthday and she loved it.
my uncle says she never takes it off.

I think you are already keeping her from sinking... Oh, Devil... that sinking feeling is the worst thing in the world. It feels like you are just drowning and sinking into this pitch black, thick, freezing ocean... I literally physically felt that way a few times. It felt like it filled my lungs, veins and artieries, and like all I could do is wait to hit the bottom and die.

that has got to feel awful.
do you take any medications to help you?

My general practice doctor tell me I just fail to communicate with my parents. The doctor she sent me to just gave me a bunch of pills, I was like a zombie.

your general practice doctor needs to diagnois properly.
it upsets me when doctors brush off how a person feels just because they cannot see an injury.
go to another doctor until someone gets it right for you.
don't just suffer.

I should. I wanted to get my mother to help me transfer, but a person needs to yell at her for a year for her to do something. If it concerns her, she will do it in an instant.

can you ask someone else to ask her?

I should be capable of doing it on my own, but I never feel like it.

i hope you get to see someone who will help you soon.

Or I will just have to suck it up and deal with it.

no sucking it up and just dealing with it.
it's not like it's a blister or a sore ankle *my ankle is hurting*.
isn't depression a chemical imbalance?

It is, but a complex one. A very complex one. Then there is innate depression and depression due to circumstance.

i didn't know there were two kinds of depression.
so you can have depression without even having a tramatic event?

Yes, you can. There are many mental illnesses you can be born with and develop throughout your life.

i know a friend of my mothers has a daughter that has many problems.
she cannot make a decision.
seriously, not one decision without going into a total panic attack.
it's gotten much worse as she has gotten older too.

any animal lovers out there?

I had a kitty massage this morning. =3

i adore being woken up like that Jeanie!
so how has your day been since?
spectacular i hope!
please welcome mikuhiko: , she is new and feeling a bit overwhelmed.

you can chat about anything here miku sweetie.
us animal lovers loves peoples too <3.
=^.^=