.Sun's Jar.



.Goals.

Increase level of fitness
Lost at least 2 stone of fat
Make at least 1 new friend
Practice reiki & crystal more
Keep my rooms & study tidy
Start writing/RP'ing again
Read more
Increase contact with current friends
Venture out of my comfort zone more frequently
Work on increasing my confidence
Go and stay with my uncle for a while
Laugh more often
Write in my diary every day

.Information.

This jar will hold an entry per week, hopefully to be updated every Saturday.
Feel free to common if you have any undying urges.
Frequently occurring people:
Oz - My other half.
Nat - Friend and confidante.
Nat H - Old friend and confidante, potential gym buddy.
Leanne - Close friend.
Dave/Mr Day - Close friend, partner of Leanne.
Danny - Friend.
Kirst & John - Friends.
Pip, Merry, Koola, & Gomez - My axolotls.

Entry 1.
30.12.13 - 4.1.14

I've never been any good at resolutions, perhaps because my family has never really put much importance on New Years as a cause for celebration. They're no doubt no happier to be spending another year with each other than they were in an year previous, and their apathy towards the time has rubbed off on me. Though i seem to be the only person i know who doesn't really care much for going out, or staying up to see the new year in...I'd much rather be asleep and wake up hoping the change of date might have inspired some kind of little change within me.

Regardless of my usual rituals of ignoring and sleeping, i broke with family tradition this year, and i was actually awake at the coming of midnight. I was on my own, and in my room, but still, i was pleased, and felt as though i had achieved a small something all the same. Perhaps this would be a sign to come for me, and i would face many new challenges and trials this year?

I must have been on to something there, because not three days after the close of what i will consider my most recent 'character development' year, the action kicks off. Salma contact me via Facebook, as i assumed she would sooner or later, after hearing that she'd been in touch with Nat again. It's very sad to see somebody who was such a good friend turn into somebody so troubled and confused by life. I wish i could help her, but alas, she still thinks that i owe her the world, and as nice as she is she practically called me a parasite! Nice woman this old soulmate of mine!

Other positives this week include Leanne (practically my sister) and Dave moving into their first house. She wants me to do some cleansing on it, something that i very much look forward to as i need the practice for my Diploma. Oz also had his first teaching lesson today, and finalised all of the things to do with his real job starting next week. I'm so proud of him. BMW have never taken a graduate for his position, which is 1 of only 20 of the kind in the whole world, and he managed to impress them more than three other people with years worth of industry experience! We'll see where that adventure goes.

I've also started the year off by joining the gym, and meeting up with my old friend Nat H. It's good to talk, and laugh, and remember old times while in the process of planning new ones! Oh, and i managed to complete Dragon Age Origins...There is love after Mass Effect after all!

Entry 2.
5.1.14 - 11.1.14

It's been a fairly hectic yet pleasing second week of the year for me. It started in a somber mood as my mother and i remembered her brother who died a year ago on the 5th. I was browsing my Tumblr dashboard that morning when i found the only post that i'd ever come across about the film Beetlejuice. When my uncle found out about my psychic tendencies he compared me to the girl in the film. It made me laugh, and i took it as a sign that he was still around. I know he's been close to my aunty, but it was nice to get that little reminder from him.

The week proper kicked off with my induction at the gym i had chosen to join. I'd been to a gym once before, but it wasn't very interesting and failed to inspire any degree of dedication within me, while managing to negatively taint my opinion of such establishments. My current gym however, is amazing. I was blown away by the level of technology they have with the machines there...You can watch any Freeview channels, or use the internet while on the treadmill! It's a bit over the top really, but still, good if you like that sort of thing!

I was very reserved about going to the gym because of the resounding health issues that mean prolonged and vigorous exercise is often difficult for me, despite my best intentions. I decided to put these things behind me, and try my best anyway. I've had a few issues, but hopefully with the more suitable trainers i've bought today i'll have fewer problems with my caggy legs! I've been four times, and hope to carry that on, although it might prove a bit difficult because...

Of my new job! I've finally started. There's going to be a lot of pressure on us to be ready and fully functioning before our store opens, but most of it is pretty basic stuff really, and we have nice bit booklets to help us through anything, which is very much appreciated. I don't know what to make of my colleagues yet...They aren't on the same level as me really, consider they're going to be working in a place were knowledge of care needs for various animals is tantamount. My manager is nice though, and i think she's going to be somebody i can talk to if i need to discuss any of my issues with her.

Oz has also finished his first week at his new job. He's spoken about little but strange goo they've been analyzing in the lab, and his getting to know the other guys there. Most of it goes over my head, but i'm happy that at least one of us is doing something near to our dream job.

Other little positives this week:
I've been working on my Pokédex! I've taken some time to do some reiki on myself in an attempt to heal myself and it seems to be working. I've moved Koola & Gomez into the spare room so that i can actually see them as they grow up. There's a massive deficit of photos of those guys that needs to be made up!

Entry 3.
12.1.14-18.1.14.

It's been a hectic week, all things considered, but i'm feeling much better about life. I will freely admit that i never expected such a change within my persona, but since i've started working at PAH i feel completely different. I feel sure that i'm there for a reason, and i'm determined to make the most out of it. I'm so happy almost all of the people are approachable and friendly, which has meant that i've taken to them 200% faster than i would usually, and i'm already starting to laugh and joke with them. For anyone who knows me they will note that this occurrence is most extraordinary! The main takeaway from this week has been that although my life isn't centered around the zoo anymore, i'm not as destroyed as i thought i would be, and neither do i feel as though i cannot enjoy my new job. There is life after zoo, this i know for certain now, and i feel exponentially better for it. My hurt is starting to heal i believe.

Speaking of the zoo, my much loved friend who shall henceforth be known as 'L', had his birthday on the 13th. I Didn't actually expect him to text me after i said 'Happy Birthday', however he did, even though it might have taken him exactly ten hours to do so. That was quite some timing. We had a tiny chat, but it just reaffirmed in my mind that maybe he's just as shy as i am, and he misses me just as much, which has renewed my thoughts of trying to make more of an effort to because actual friends with him, so that's been a big positive of the week.

Oz has continued to enjoy his work, and is still regaling everyone with stories about his days. I wonder when the novelty will wear off, but i'm very happy for him all the same. I know what it's like to really enjoy what you're doing for a living.

Some terrible things happened at home last Sunday, which i won't talk about, but it's been very quiet as a result in our house. Mother is feeling much better about everything, despite the situation, and i'm enjoying the total lack of arguing. It's been rather enjoyable knowing there's going to be no conflict, because nobody is talking to my father, therefore giving him no openings to berate anyone.

I've also been keeping up with my visits to the gym as much as possible, and this has inspired me to work through the pains of my PCOS. It's always been a struggle for me, as the pain i experienced when the cysts ruptured was some of the worst pain i've ever suffered with, and i'm in no hurry for a second does of that. I went to the gym in spite of myself, and you know what, it actually paid off. I felt better for it, and it's reminded me of the real reason why i joined the gym in the first. To see if any weight loss would actually help me with in lessening the symptoms of the POCS. I don't think i've lost any weight, but i feel better in myself. I can already feel my arms and legs tightening, which is really inspiring considering i've only been going two weeks now.

Entry 4.
19.1.14 - 25.1.14.

I've started actually getting to grips with the bigger parts of the job at work this week, which has turned out to be a double edged sword for me. I'm getting paid and combating my anxiety both, however i am in a near constant state of disappointment. I don't know what i expected, but it wasn't this. It's very droll. This fact has had positives though...It's renewed my determination to complete my Crystal Therapy Diploma. The last module was due to take place in November, but both myself and the other student have to be present, and in the end she couldn't go, so it was a wasted bit of excitement there. I've managed to persuade my boss into giving me the day off for the rescheduled date of the 9th of Feb, and i'm hopeful that we might actually get all three remaining modules done this year. I really want to be able to work for myself in a capacity that won't lead me to want to throw myself under passing lorries, and will provide me with a means of making ends meet that i actually passionately enjoy. Crystal was my first love, yet the last for me to actually gain any recognized qualifications in, so i am mucho excited for the future.

I've also unblocked my bladder median, which i've been neglecting for a long time, and my anxiety is a lot less troublesome at the moment. Here's hoping it stays that way!

There's little else really for me to talk about this week. I've completed Dragon Age again? I don't think that's really worthy of another mention!

I've maintained my visits to the gym, though greatly reduced, seeing as my work shifts are unpredictable and erratic, making it awkward to fit anything around them really. I'm hoping to get into the swing of it though once we've settled into our own store come the end of Feb.

Entry 5.
26.1.14 - 1.2.14.

First to note this week is how proud i am of actually returning to make my little entries here! I've been a member of Mene since 2007, but i've never been a massive member of the community. Very much a lurker am i. I vanish for months on end because the forums i tend to frequent aren't very fast moving, which is a shame.

Still, moving on to real life though...I've managed to go to Cannock to work without actually stressing out. I can't say my experiences thus far have been satisfactory, but hopefully we shall remedy that soon. I've not really had a good time of work to be honest, but there has been one positive outcome. I'm now 200% determined to be working for myself at some point early next year. I really want to bash out the last few modules of my Crystal Therapy Diploma, so then i'll feel i have all the qualifications necessary to set up shop! I really want to do a job on my own terms, that doesn't make me feel like gouging out my own eyes, or throwing myself under a passing lorry. Here's hoping.

I'm also soon to acquire two new pets. I've given up caring what my parents think about my animals. I'm 23, i can do what i wish. Only poor circumstance is keeping my at home now. I'm quite looking forward to them arriving!