Keep trying. I think the therapist is a good avenue to take, as it can help with the underlying reasons of why you are struggling to say "no" and stick to it. <3

Izumi, I am so happy to hear things are on an upswing.

Things here are bonkers, but really only on a work aspect. Cole's in his end-of-semester crunch, but will thankfully be done this week. Things with the house have remained on an even keel since the septic got fixed. The kiddo's doing okay. I'm going to the doctor's on Thursday to get a recheck with the issues I had in January. I'm hoping my iron's raised a significant amount.

All in all, not too bad.

Good luck with the iron, and with work slowing down some.

Yeah, I really think that without some sort of help, I won't manage to get away. Unfortunately, it's gonna be a little bit before I can set it up.

Yeah I said I was doing good...then later that evening had a relapse. Oh well...just don't talk about driving, or Pam driving for that matter...and we're fine. I just don't want anything to do with it and well it's a sore spot right now in our relationship (Aaron and I). I take that back...Aaron definitely has his asshole-ish moments. One being last night.

Work has been kinda irritating...so I'm kinda in a raw/sore kinda mood at the moment. Just need to take a chill pill, crack open a bottle of something cold and sit and swing on the porch. This shit will work itself out...whatev

Yeah, Steel...I'd want to get down to it pronto too. I guess I don't have a whole lot of room to talk as I put up with some bullshit behavior at times too, but I kinda look at the whole picture and he tolerates me not driving and happy where I am work wise. I "bury my head" when it comes to bills relating to the kids or car, but I handle EVERYTHING else...other than food as he does that. Basically I give him a chunk of money and tell him to cover gas, groceries, pam's lunch, etc out of that and I take the rest and sock it on bills. I have told him time and time again things pertaining to his kids and ex do not involve me and I do not factor them into our allowance as such as I have told him those are bills that are his responsibility and if he needs to allocate more of his allotment he needs to do it. Yet I keep on getting yelled at as he 'tells' me these things are coming up and expects me to save up for it. I think once he gets paid I am going to force the issue on a rainy day fund for whatever so that when we need a nice chunk of money it's just there....cause right now I can tell you it is not. He wants to shit $250 on drivers ed like pronto, and there's two problems -- 1.) no money 2.) her mom wants her at her house for the summer..... Drivers ed is like a month long thing, daily...So it's not going to work that way.

Anyways Exs, Kids...bullshit....Special filing can. I still think that this should be on Pam to get a job and pay for...along with her car and gas. This shit isn't her immediate needs and we keep food, clothing, and shelter. Car is ancillary. Sorry but it is. I make it work out without it...

I need to try to call mom again but I really have nothing to say to her. She doesn't want to hear to my problems, and I have nothing fluffy to share with her nor do I really feel like catering to her needs.

---------- Post added 05-06-2015 at 04:06 PM ----------

Wait wait I budget for car insurance and for car payment...just not gas (that comes out of his stipend) and repairs...I don't know fuck all about cars and that's on him. We stand corrected...

If your mom doesn't want to hear your problems, screw it. She seems to want to offload her mess onto others, so that's her thing. Maybe she'll "get it" and change some more. But it's a very big maybe.

Hopefully the other issues iron out soon. I couldn't deal with it, the ex situation. It would be too hard. x_x

*hugs* I'm tired and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. But I love you both and I want to know that I'm paying attention and I'm with you guys.

Awww love you too, Steel!

I really hope things get better for you hun...you sound stressed to the gills...

Today I'm feeling better. Only a half day at work, and it wasn't nearly as chaotic as yesterday. Hopefully tomorrow will be as lax. I think I may enjoy some of this nice weather and go for a walk...or see if I can't borrow the neighbor's mower....Not sure though as it looks a bit overcast.

Anyways, I'll enjoy a little free time before we get super busy tonight.

I'm tired, I'm angry, and I'm so done with work it's not even funny right now. We've been testing for three days straight and the kids are heinous right now.

I fail at posting! I had a busy work week, then I took the weekend to just do nothing. Seriously, all I did was change the guinea pigs' cage, and it was fabulous. Yet, because I did nothing, I cancelled my morning shift to play catch-up with paperwork. xD Not good.

How is everyone?

I'm ok. I have a pretty lean schedule work wise for the week, and I'm ok with that. Money will be tight...but we'll manage.

I think I'm going to go flop on the couch to take a nap, though, as I feel exhausted....

Depressed, exhausted, moody, oh and I'm spotting over a week before my period should come. So also slightly terrified.

I'm glad you guys had some relaxation, though! *hugs*

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhm. When can you test?

Sunday. I mean I tested Monday, but at that point it's only 51% accurate, so it's as good as guessing.

Oooh. x___x Are you nervous or are you feeling more confident that you're not pregnant?

Nervous as hell. That test basically meant nothing.

I'm hoping for a period. :s It would be frightening otherwise. It's scary anyway, but knowing how he treats/treated (any updates??) you makes it so much scarier.

Yeah. And his sister is a pretty high profile family lawyer, so he could probably take the kid from me.

Except you'd have to be an incompetent parent in order for that to happen. Joint custody, yes, but sole? It doesn't make sense.

Good news! Not pregnant. Thank. Fucking. God.
I am so happy I want to throw a party.

Oh, I bet you're relieved!

Extremely. I mean, a really small part of me is disappointed, because I think my biological clock has finally kicked in. But I just know that it would have been an epic disaster. It would have been court battles and abuse all over the place.

How are things going? Did you stay separated, or has the battle continued?

It's kind of...at a standstill. I'm too tired to fight properly. He wants to say we're "working on things". So I told him that we could be "working on things" as long as he's being nice and that was it. But I'm spent emotionally. I don't have it to invest in anything at all. So basically he ignored me all day until the end so I just went out with friends and talked with some other people.

Hnn... hopefully you can break free the rest of the way. x_x

Thank god I'm moving schools at the end of the year.

Hey everyone! sorry I haven't been around much. How is everyone?