((
http://www.menewsha.com/forum/commun...-daughter.html
Hemset))
Lakar,
Since your passing I find it hard to speak to anyone. You were my mentor, you taught me everything I know and now I've come to a most difficult decision and you aren't here to guide me.
I realize you cannot speak to me but if somehow this letter finds you in the afterlife I pray you can send me some sort of sign. I'm so lost.
Everything has changed and I'm afraid that I can no longer be the man you taught me to be. I've betrayed your morals, I'm not even sure you could ever forgive me for what I've done but I need to be straight with you my teacher.
I have abused a most powerful substance, the magic giving potion that causing a steady dependence upon it. I used my magic until it was dry, it was for a good cause, all I wanted was to help princess Asima-that's my duty isn't it? But the act left me drained and I could no longer defend her. I didn't realize it would leave so weak.
To be honest, it sickened me to believe that I actually had limits to my magic. I had never met them before and I was too proud to believe it had finally happened. Perhaps that's why it was so easy to convince myself to take the potion. You were right, there is no place for pride when it comes to my duties to defend the royal line.
It made me feel powerful again, it felt so wonderful at first to have my magic rushing through my veins once more that for awhile I had forgotten I'd even taken it. Until it started to wear off. It felt so cold, so I took more. I told myself it was for the best, I just needed to last long enough Lakar, long enough to see this through and protect those under my care. It was for the greater good.
And then she came into the picture. Souban. I will forever regret the day that I listened to that woman instead of removing her from the face of Egypt on sight. Yes Lakar, I listened to the voice of an enemy of the Pharaoh, all because she had my brother. I bet you would not be so weak as to fall for such a thing. Blood ties do not amount to anything when it comes to the protection of Egypt, I know this now.
But I could not face it then. She wanted Malum's life for that of my brother's, it would break Asima heart but she would at least live so I told myself it was acceptable. I told myself that I had always hated Malum and that he deserved it. I believed that once before, it wasn't hard to believe it again.
I would like to have a proper excuse for all this Lakar. I threatened Asima, I came so close to actually harming her when she persisted to fight me. I nearly killed the man she loved and I betrayed his secrets to Souban. I would like to say that it was the magic addiction, that I wasn't thinking clearly enough to understand what I was doing, that the drives of the god living inside me were too much to control; unfortunately I know that it's my own fault.
I subjected myself to the addiction. I fed it. I caved to my brother and I failed to keep that monster of a god at bay. I've failed my position as high priest, I've failed the royal line, I've failed Egypt and I've failed you, my teacher.
Because of this I have decided to step down from my post. I am not worthy of being High Priest of Egypt, I am not even truly worthy of life for what I have done but I will use whatever life I have to try and right some of these wrongs.
Please forgive me Lakar. I beg you, give me a sign.
