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hanahaki disease
wistful
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#1
Old 10-18-2015, 09:01 AM

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Last edited by hanahaki disease; 08-10-2016 at 05:55 AM..

Bearzy
dusting off the cobwebs

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#2
Old 10-19-2015, 05:19 AM

I like it, it reads like slam poetry almost, with the short sentences and chopping backwards and forwards in time. One thing I will say is that coffee comes from beans not leaves. But y'know what, that's not so important. Keep it up.

hanahaki disease
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#3
Old 10-21-2015, 05:42 AM

Bearzy: Thanks so much! Glad you liked it Thanks for pointing that out, even if it's not so important it's incongruous and distracting and I've edited!

And now for a poem.

Scientific Curiosity


Once there was a girl who lived in a clock
One dial was a seat, the other a support for her back
A girl whose mind was full of only the tick-tock
She never felt bored or any sort of lack

Once there was a girl who lived in a clock
She'd change her position as the dials moved
Her favourite time of day was three o' clock
Because she could sit up straight, plus it was warm at noon

Scientific curiosity
will turn the key in the lock of Pandora's box
Scientific curiosity
an idle mind is the devil's workshop
Let's pray, oh you and me
That her mind never gets too hungry
To need more than the tick-tock

Once there was a girl who lived in a clock
One day the dials froze, turned off the tick-tock
How could the clock have stopped, she was shocked
Her mind went numb then empty, then she thought

What was behind her, inside the clock?
What made the dials move, sound the tick-tock?
What was behind her, inside the clock?
What went wrong that made the clock stop?

Scientific curiosity
will turn the key in the lock of Pandora's box
Scientific curiosity
And idle mind is the devil's workshop
Scientific curiosity
is the mistake we're all so proud of

She found her way into the clock
Wonderstruck when she saw the mechanic metaling
She pushed a minor wheel to see it roll
And that was all to get the clock going

Suddenly all the machinery was moving
And she couldn't think for all the tick-tock
The jagged gears tore and crushed her between them
And the tick-tock sounded, a chant that mocked.

 


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