BatNeko
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10-21-2007, 08:46 PM
Title: The Weekly Hyrule News
Length: 23 chapters (unfinished)
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Genre: Action/Romance, with liberal doses of humor.
Summery: A "what if the Zelda characters were in high school" fic, with a twist. What if the Zelda characters were in high school, and then Ganondorf invaded?
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Sir.Spoon
(^._.^)ノ
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10-21-2007, 08:50 PM
Ooh.
I like the idea.
Would they be characters from all the Zelda games, or from the newer ones?
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BatNeko
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10-21-2007, 09:01 PM
Chapter 1. Princess Zeldaâs Secret Lesbian Tryst!
âHey, check it out,â Kafei said, sitting down with a magazine and a tray of food. ââPrincess Zeldaâs Secret Lesbian Tryst.ââ
âSecret lesbian tryst?â Ralph repeated. âOoh, let me see, let me see!â
Kafei started to pass the magazine over, but a hand reached across the table and snatched it away.
âHey!â
Link scanned the page thoughtfully, face a mask of calm. âSecret lesbian tryst? Please. This is a slumber party.â
âWell, at least thereâs a picture of Zelda in skimpy pajamas.â
âHmm,â Link frowned at the picture. âI donât think thatâs Zelda. I think they stuck her head on someone elseâs body.â
âAw man. Who do you think it is?â
Link tilted his head to one side. âIâm not sure... Iâve seen those cow pants somewhere before...â
âCan I look now?â Ralph whined.
âFine. Baby.â Link handed it over.
His eyes gobbled up the picture greedily. âMalon,â he said firmly. âThatâs Malonâs body. Iâd know those curves anywhere.â
âYou know everyoneâs curves, Ralph.â Kafei rolled his eyes.
He grinned. âWhat can I say? Iâm a connoisseur of the female form.â
âYou need a hobby.â
âThat is my hobby.â
âA better hobby.â
zzz
âHey Zelda,â Anju said, sitting down with a magazine and a tray of food. âYouâre in the news again.â
Malon sniffed. âPlease Anju, donât call that rag news. It barely qualifies as writing.â
âSorry...â
âDonât apologize,â Zelda said, smiling. âMalonâs just mad âcause they put my head on her body.â
âI step out on the porch for ten seconds!â
âDeep cleansing breath, Malon.â
Malon took several slow breaths, then calmly snatched the magazine away from Anju and tore it in half.
âHey! I paid for that!â
Zelda laughed. âCome on you guys, itâs not that big a deal. Nobodyâs going to believe that.â
âYouâve been dealing with this your entire life, we only have to because you-â She stopped. âI- Iâm sorry Zel, I didnât mean that.â
âYes you did,â Zelda smiled. âBut itâs okay. I know how it must be for you guys. I mean, like you said, Iâve had to put up with the reporters following me around my entire life.â She looked down at her food. âYouâd think I would be used to it by now...â
âZel...â
zzz
âLink. Liiiiink. Link!â He was staring across the cafeteria, at a familiar head of sunshine-colored hair. Kafei waved his hand in front of his friendâs face. âLink! Dude! Youâre drooling.â
That did it. Linkâs hand snapped to his mouth guiltily. âI- I am not!â
Kafei laughed, Ralph glared. âI swear man, one of these days I am going to physically drag you over there and force you to talk to her.â
âI talk to her!â
âIn class, about class. Thatâs no fun!â
âWell what am I supposed to say?â Link snapped. ââHi Iâm Link we have History together and I want to be your boytoy?ââ
âYou should totally say that.â
âI will pay you to say that.â
âLick me.â
âSeriously though, you canât just stalk her forever.â
âI am not stalking her. I just...think sheâs hot. You do too!â
âWe think sheâs hot because she is hot. But we donât make sure to sit behind her in every class we have with her so we can stare without her noticing.â
Link paused. âThat obvious. huh?â
âYes.â
âWell...hell. Um. So. Kafei. You and Anju officially a couple now?â
âYeah, I think so.â Kafei grinned. âSheâs awesome.â
âAww, so sweet I think Iâm going into insulin shock.â Ralph rolled his eyes. âYou two are pathetic. Weâre teenagers! Weâre supposed to be having random sex with lots of slutty girls! Donât you watch movies?â
âNot the same movies youâre watching, apparently,â Kafei said.
âYou know Ralph, one of these days youâre going to fall head over heels for a girl, make a fool of yourself, and I am going to laugh.â
âYou mean the way you have?â
âCan we drop that already?â
âNever!â
âListen, you-â
âSo you guys doing anything tonight?â
The other two boys stopped and looked at Kafei. âWhat?â
âYou doing anything tonight?â
âNo.â
âAm I ever?â
âWhy?â
Kafei grinned. âI have a really good idea...â
zzz
Later, after class, Malon was still ranting.
âI just canât believe they stuck your head on my awesome rack.â
âHey,â Zelda bopped her friend on the head with a book. âMy rack is plenty awesome.â
âYeah, but you had the good sense to stay inside. Plus, you were wearing flannel.â
âI like flannel.â
âBut red plaid? You are not a logger Zel.â
Two boys walked past the girls, having what looked like an argument in harsh whispers. Zelda watched them head on down the hall, ignoring Malon.
âYou need some PJs like mine, with pants that you can wear to school if you feel like it. I mean, I have no idea how that came into style, but Iâm not complaining. You look best in pink and blue, maybe lavender. We should get you something in... Zel? Are you listening to me?â
âMnn?â
Malon followed Zeldaâs gaze, then grinned. âOhhhh... I see. So the princess isnât gay.â
Zelda flushed. âQuiet, you.â
âNo, no, this is cool.â She pursed her lips thoughtfully. âSo, youâre looking at Link, right? âCause Anju and Cremia both already like Kafei, and you know how much I hate love triangles.â
âNo, I donât like Kafei. I mean, I like him fine, but I donât like like him.â
âSo itâs Link then?â
Zeldaâs blush deepened.
Malon laughed. âYouâre so cute, you know that Zelda? Thatâs why you should totally go hit on Link!â
âI couldnât do that! I barely know him! I mean, weâve only talked in class...â
âBut?â
âBut...â Zelda sighed resignedly. âHeâs cute, and heâs smart, and heâs funny, and heâs so sweet, and he opens doors for girls, and you know heâs the chivalrous type, like, heâd come to your rescue and stuff, and I know itâs silly but I find that attractive in a guy...â
Malon laughed. âI know what you mean. Iâm still waiting for my knight in shining armor, you know.â
âI know.â She peered around Malonâs shoulder, but Link and Kafei were gone. âI wouldnât call it a crush, exactly. I just...find him attractive.â
âSo talk to him.â
âBut what would I say?â
Malon shook her head. âHow should I know? Just be yourself!â
Zelda stared at the corner Link had disappeared around. âBut I can only be myself when...â She stopped.
âWhen what?â Malon asked.
âUmm...â
She frowned. âWhen what, Zelda?â
The bell rang and Zelda breathed a sigh of relief. âCome on, weâve got Math.â
zzz
âKafei, this is a really bad idea,â Link said, glaring.
He, Kafei, and Ralph were sitting in Kafeiâs van, across the street from a brightly lit bar. Kafeiâs plan seemed to consist only of a goal: getting into that bar.
âWhy?â Kafei asked. âThis is the perfect plan!â
âWe are going to get caught,â Link told him through gritted teeth. âWe donât look anywhere near twenty-one-â
âBull shit!â
âAnd only Ralph is even eighteen!â
âHeh, yeah. I rock.â
âShut up Ralph.â
âMake me.â
Kafei rolled his eyes. âGrow up you guys. No, really. We want to pass for drinking age, remember?â
âThis was your idea!â
Ralph peered out the window at the bar. âWhy this bar anyway? I mean, itâs, like, clean and pretty-looking, but why else?â
âThe most important factor is, of course, that it is really far away from all of our houses. Not that it really matters with Link, but me and you might run into someone we know, or someone who knows our parents. Which would be bad.â
âHey,â Link said. âI may not have parents, but there are still people I can get in trouble with.â
âAnother bonus,â Kafei continued, ignoring him, âis that it looks like a good place to pick up chicks. Everybody whoâs going in there is either alone or with a friend.â
âYou have a girlfriend Kafei.â
âYou donât! And I really want to see Ralph make a fool of himself out of love.â
âItâll never happen,â Ralph laughed. âI am the player of players.â
Link stared thoughtfully at the bar. There was something off about it, something that was eluding him. It was obvious, he knew, but he just couldnât see it.
âYouâre a dork, Ralph. You couldnât play a player piano.â
Something about the people standing outside, or maybe the way they were standing...
âThat didnât even make sense!â
Or who they were standing with...
Link snorted, trying to hold in a laugh. The other two boys turned and looked at him. âUh, nothing.â He coughed. âUm, letâs go.â
Kafei blinked. âWait, you want to now?â
âYeah. So?â
He looked at the other boy for a moment before saying, âWhy?â
âI, uh, saw a cute girl. So are we going or what?â
âYeah, of course!â
They piled out of the van and ran across the street. They only had to stand in line for a few minutes before a big group left and they were all gestured inside. Not one ID was flashed.
The three boys stood just inside the door for several seconds before anyone spoke. Plenty of time for Kafei and Ralph to come to the same realization Link had in the van.
âLink,â Kafei said.
âYes?â Link replied, fighting a smile.
âThis is a gay bar.â
âYou noticed.â
âTime to go.â He turned and headed for the door, but Link grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him back.
âThis was your idea. Not gonna back out now, are you?â
âOf course I am!â He checked himself and lowered his voice. âLink, this is a gay bar. We canât just stay.â
âWhy not? We both know you wanted to come more for the beer than the chicks.â
Kafei glared at him. âYouâre loving this arenât you?â
Link grinned. âVery much so, yes.â
âRalph,â Kafei looked at the other boy pleadingly. âYou donât want to stay, do you?â
Ralph was staring at something across the room. âWha?â
âRalph, come on, tell me you want to leave.â
He blinked a couple of times and turned back to his friends. âUm... Actually I think I wanna stay for a bit.â
âRalph! What the hell!â
âDude, one word.â He pointed, and the other two followed his finger. âLesbians.â
All three boys stared for a moment.
âIâm gonna, uh, go find us a booth,â Kafei said.
âIâll get drinks,â Link offered.
âIâll try not to drool.â
âYou do that, Ralph.â
Link made his way to the bar, trying not to look as uncomfortable as he felt. Heâd been in bars before, both with and without his friends, his foster parents for half of his sixth grade year had even owned a bar, but heâd never been so afraid of being caught before. He actually had something to lose this time.
There was a crowd of people, hanging around and chatting up the bartender. Instinctively, Link hung back and waited for a lull.
âYouâre straight, arenât you?â a voice said.
He whirled around and faced the speaker, who smiled at him. It was a young guy, no older than Link, he thought, but a good half a head shorter. Sheikah, and far prettier than anyone with a Y chromosome ought to be. His pale blonde hair fell across one ruby-colored eye and- wait- was he wearing mascara?
âUm, yeah,â Link said. âThat obvious?â
âNot really, youâre pretty enough to be gay.â
âGee, thanks.â
The guy laughed. âIt was a joke! Lighten up! Iâm trying to help you here.â
Link frowned suspiciously. âHow so?â
âYou want to get a drink right?â
âThree, actually.â
âOkay then. See, youâre staying away from the bar, waiting your turn.â The guy grabbed Linkâs elbow and started dragging him forward. âIn a straight bar, that would be a good idea, because the bartender would be giving more attention to the hot girls than you.â He grinned up at Link. âBut youâre in a gay bar.â
âOkay, no offense little, um, Sheikah guy, but I donât feel comfortable trying to attract the attention of a most-likely-gay bartender.â
The little Sheikah guy shrugged. âIâll do it then. Four beers?â
âThree and a coke, Kafeiâs driving.â
âAh, of course. How responsible.â
âResponsible nothing, Iâm trying to punish him.â
The guy laughed, and Link was somewhat started to notice that it was a really nice laugh. âMy nameâs Sheik, by the way.â
âIâm Link.â
They shook hands, and Link gave Sheik some money for drinks.
âWatch my technique now,â Sheik said over his shoulder. He sidled up to the bar and leaned against it casually, pushing his shoulders back and shifting his weight so that his slim frame curved aesthetically. He stood there for several seconds, just looking hot, until the bartender glanced in his direction. And stopped. Sheik smiled then and said something, Link couldnât hear what, but the bartender came right over. Sheik smiled some more, looked up through half-lidded eyes, and was back with the drinks within seconds.
âWell? How was that?â
Link stared. âThat was... That... How did you do that?â
Sheik grinned, flashing very white teeth. âTechnique!â
âThat looked familiar actually.â Link took two of the beers to free Sheikâs hands. âLike Iâd seen it somewhere before...or something like it.â
âWell thatâs an easy answer. Itâs the same thing girls do. Just, like, stand there and let their body get the attention for them.â
âOh yeah, that makes sense. I probably see it at school every-â he snapped his mouth shut.
âSchool, huh?â Sheik said, grinning again.
âI meant, um, college.â
âOf course you did.â
âI... Oh shut up, youâre no older than I am.â
âTrue,â Sheik agreed cheerfully. âIâve been coming here about once a week for a while though. Itâs like a mini-vacation from the stresses of daily life.â
âA bar?â
âWell, it happened to be convenient. Iâm not, like, an alcoholic or anything.â
âOf course youâre not.â
âQuiet, you.â
Link realized that he was grinning. He liked this guy. âDo you want to come sit with me and my friends?â
Sheik smiled back. âSure. But only if you tell them I picked you up at the bar.â
âI would have done that anyway.â
Link headed the way Kafei and Ralph had gone, and found them seated at a booth near the back. He enjoyed the stunned-but-trying-not-to-look-stunned expressions on their faces when he introduced Sheik as âthe hot blond who picked me up,â but neither he nor Sheik could keep from laughing long enough for the other two to try to make polite introductions.
Within a few minutes, all four boys were happily chatting away about school, homework, and girls (Sheik had a lot of female friends, so he was able to provide useful advice). Before half an hour had passed, Link realized he wanted to keep in touch with this guy.
An opportunity to do so presented itself when a little song that completely disagreed with the barâs ambient music began to play. It was a pretty song; soft, like a lullaby. But when Sheik heard it he nearly jumped out of his seat.
âCrap!â he exclaimed, wriggling around in his seat and digging in his back pocket. âCrap crap crap!â Eventually he pulled out a cell phone.
It was pink.
Sheik squinted at the tiny screen in panic for a moment, then sighed. âThank god, itâs just a text message. I thought I was busted there for a sec.â
Kafei cocked his head. âUh...Shiek? About your phone...â
He looked up. âHuh?â
âItâs, well... Itâs a little... Ralph, could you handle this one for me?â
âItâs pink man! Your cell phone is frickinâ pink!â
âOh yeah, right.â Sheik looked down at it. âThatâs not my fault, honest. I got this phone for Christmas.â
âYour parents bought you a pink phone?â
âYes?â
âCool. My parents wonât even buy me satellite internet.â
Without warning, Link snatched the phone from Sheikâs hands and began pressing buttons.
âHey! What are you doing?â
âAdding myself to your Contacts.â
âOh. Okay.â
Link frowned at the pink sliver of technology. âWhy donât you have anyone elseâs number in here?â
Sheik rubbed his arm awkwardly. âI donât really like to keep other peopleâs numbers in my phone. Iâm only supposed to use it for emergencies, and I keep it turned off most of the time, but Iâm always afraid someone is going to steal it and prank call all my friends. Or worse.â
âThatâs called paranoia, Sheik.â Ralph drained the last of his beer. âItâs normally a side-effect of pot, not alcohol.â
Link shrugged and punched in the number anyway. âYou can always remove it later.â
âThanks... Can I have my phone back now?â
âYep.â Link tossed it to him. âWord of advice though? They have those, like, skins. So you can make it not pink.â
âIâll look into that.â Sheik turned it off and shoved the phone back in his pocket.
âI vote for snake scales!â Ralph announced suddenly. âOr possibly camo. Yeah...orange camo...â
Kafei sighed. âOkay, I think Ralphâs had enough.â
âBull shit! You donâ... donâ... Donâ know anything!â He swayed in his seat. âOh, wait, yeah. Never mind.â
Link rolled his eyes. âI think itâs time to go.â
Kafei looked at his watch. âGood idea. Itâs almost two! Sheik, you need a ride anywhere?â
Sheik blinked. âYou mean it?â
âSure, why not?â
âUm, okay, yeah. That would be great.â He smiled. âI live in Castle Heights.â
âThat gated community?â
âThatâs where Princess Zelda lives!â Link exclaimed.
Everyone looked at him.
âUm...Well, it is...â He blushed.
âYou...know Princess Zelda?â Sheik asked.
âKnow her?â Ralph laughed. âLink wants to bone her!â
âI do not!â Link exclaimed. âI mean...I find her attractive, thatâs all...â He silently cursed his blondeâs complexion and tendency to blush.
âNo, really,â Ralph said. âThe manâs obsessed. Itâd be cute if it wasnât so pathetic.â
âShut up, Ralph. Youâre drunk.â
âThat doesnât make it not true.â
âCome on,â Kafei grabbed Ralphâs arm and pulled him out of the booth. âWe can tease Link about his hopeless crush on the princess later; right now we need to get out of here before someone notices weâve got an underage drunk on our hands.â
Ralph squinted at the bar. âIssat a guy or a girl? Cause, theyâre really hot.â
âGuy,â Sheik said, taking Ralphâs other arm. âAnd heâs taken. See the huge guy next to him in the leather pants?â
âHeh. Leather pants. Link has leather-â
âOkay, letâs go!â Link shoved the three of them forward. âMuch as Iâm not looking forward to returning to my cold empty house, Iâm also not looking forward to having Ralph reveal the contents of my closet. Move it!â
The four boys stumbled out the side entrance, laughing. Only Ralph seemed to by suffering any ill-effects from the booze, which somehow made his predicament that much funnier.
âMaybe we should dump him at your place, Link,â Kafei said as he unlocked the van. âSince you donât have parents to disapprove.â
âI donât have parents, but I also donât have the patience to put up with drunk Ralph here. And I would be the one to have to clean up after him. Not going to happen.â
Sheik slid into the back seat beside Link. âYou donât have parents?â
âNah. Mom died when I was born, and I donât know who my father was. Iâm a foster kid.â He shrugged. âItâs always been that way. I donât really mind.â
âSo why do you live on your own? Are you eighteen?â
âNot for a couple months. My guardian, Mr. Deku, pulled some strings to let me live in this little house that he owns and go to school. Since his regular house is a good half an hour outside of town.â
âThatâs really nice of him.â
Link shrugged again. âHeâs got about half a dozen other kids up there. Iâm not sure he even remembers I exist most of the time.â
Sheik was quiet for a moment. âWould you freak if I hugged you?â
âA little bit, probably. But thatâs because of the beer.â
âOkay, just checking. Offer stands.â
âIâll keep that in mind.â
Kafei was on the road now, heading in the direction of the gated community.
âHey Sheik,â Kafei turned in his seat. âAm I taking you to the gate or what?â
âOh, no, thatâs not a good idea. I kind of climbed over the wall. Iâll give you directions.â
Ralph was digging around in the pile of papers beneath his seat (Kafei wasnât much for keeping his van clean). âI jusâ remembered,â he said. âWe shoulda been looking at that bar for one aâ these girls!â He withdrew a magazine triumphantly.
âKafei,â Link frowned, âyou keep porn in your car?â
âNo! Itâs todayâs issue of the Weekly Hyrule News.â
âPrincess Zeldaâs Secret Lesbian Tryst?â Sheik said.
âYeah, did you read that?â
âI didnât read it. One of my friends was talking about it. No one actually believes that...do they?â
âYouâd be surprised,â Kafei sighed. âI mean, we go to school with Zelda so we know how silly it is, but there are people out there who are just...dumb as hell. Dumb. As. Hell.â
âYou wanna see my favorite part of this magazine?â Link snatched it away from Ralph. Right here, first page.â He pointed to a small text box. ââWeekly Hyrule News articles are drawn from different sources and most are fictitious. Weekly Hyrule News uses invented names in many of its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The reader should suspend belief for the sake of enjoyment.ââ
Sheik laughed. âNo way, it does not say that.â
âIt totally does, look for yourself.â
Sheik did, and laughed even harder. âSo this thing doesnât even pretend to be real?â
âNope. Unfortunately, not too many people know the disclaimer is there.â
âThatâs a shame. Itâs good to know that the magazine-maker-guys donât really expect anyone to believe this stuff.â
Castle Heights turned out to be only a few blocks away from the bar, a fact which Ralph found hilarious. They left Sheik on the curb and drove off, shouting goodbyes and bad âyour momâ jokes (that was Ralph). As they turned the corner, Link thought he saw Sheik pull that disturbingly pink phone out of his pocket.
âYou know what?â Ralph said. âAre we sure that Sheik guy is a guy?â
âUm, yeah,â Kafei said. âWhy wouldnât he be?â
âI dunno. Heâs, like...really pretty. I mean really really pretty. Like girl-pretty.â
âHeâs a guy Ralph. Thatâs the beer talking.â
âIâm serious! He had a face like a girl!â
âActually, I noticed that too.â Link leaned forward, between the front seats. âI think he was wearing mascara.â
âMaybe that was all,â Kafei said. âI didnât notice anything though.â
âNo, Ralphâs right. Sheik has a face like a girl. Girl-face.â
âGirl-face!â
âYouâre both drunk!â
âHey! Youâre missing my house!â
Kafei screeched over to the curb and Link climbed out. âYouâre just mad because you had a good time at a gay bar.â
âNo, Iâm mad because youâre both dorks. And because you wouldnât let me have a beer.â
âIâll drive next time, okay?â
âOkay. See you!â
He drove off and Link was left alone. Again. He unlocked the door and headed inside, wondering if it was even worth it to go upstairs. There was a couch right there...
And a light blinking on the answering machine.
Nobody ever called Link, especially not this late. He pushed the button curiously.
âHey, this is Sheik! Iâm calling you from the curb as I watch you drive away because Iâm a creepy stalker. Seriously though, I wanted to give you my cell number. I keep it turned off most of the time, but you can always leave me a message or text me or something.â
Link grinned and pulled a scrap of paper out of the side table drawer to write down the number. He may have been alone, single, and parentless, but at least heâd made an androgynous new friend.
That thought was a lot more comforting than it should have been.
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BatNeko
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10-21-2007, 09:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir.Spoon
Ooh.
I like the idea.
Would they be characters from all the Zelda games, or from the newer ones?
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I've got a sprinkling of characters from everything. The story was begun before Twilight Princess came out, but one of the minor characters from that does make a cameo.
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BatNeko
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10-21-2007, 10:14 PM
Chapter 2. Basketball Player Sells Sole: Wins Championship, But Loses Shoe Contract!
In a world between worlds, the land where nightmares and dreams are born (and sometimes come to die), a shadow was awakened by a dark voice.
The voice beckoned the shadow, asked it to come to his world and help him to defeat someone the voice thought might become troublesome.
The shadow ignored the voice and tried to go back to sleep.
The voice reminded the shadow how often others of its race had performed the same service, for him and others like him.
The shadow reminded the voice how often others of its race had died while performing that service.
The voice explained his situation, that his enemies had enjoyed peace and prosperity for centuries, while the owner of the voice did not even have a body. He had been all but forgotten, and only remembered as a legend. The voice wanted to remind his enemies what fear was. But two of his enemies had great power, greater than they realized, and they had just made a connection with one another. The voice did not want this to happen, so he bid the shadow to take the form of the more troublesome of the two and destroy him before he could cause a problem.
The shadow told the voice to do something quite painful, and most likely physically impossible.
So the voice wrenched the shadow from the world between worlds, and deposited it firmly in the world of the voiceâs origin.
The shadow swore silently for a moment, then went in search of this âtroublesomeâ young man.
zzz
Link woke up on the couch, with a headache and only a vague memory of how heâd gotten there. There was the bar, and Sheik, and that pink phone...
And the message on the answering machine. He looked to see if there was another, but no such luck. It made sense, it was only ten in the morning, but still... Heâd been hoping.
Link sighed and shoved himself off the couch. He was awake, so he might as well get up and out of last nightâs clothes. Ugh, they stunk of cigarettes.
Shedding clothes as he walked, Link headed for the bathroom. That was one of the few benefits of living alone; no one to complain when you walked around naked. Also, no one to care when you decided it was too dark and spooky upstairs, and just crashed on the couch.
That happened more often than Linkâs spine would like.
He stepped into the shower while the water was still cold, to jolt himself awake. Oh yeah, that was a hangover. He knew some stuff to kill it though, which he intended to do just as soon as the cool water stopped feeling so good...
It was mornings like this that Link was glad he didnât have a job. Sure, money would be nice, but sleeping in and having nothing to do all day was nice too. Choices, choices.
And then the phone rang.
Link spent approximately one-tenth of a second debating whether or not to grab a towel, then decided, âscrew it,â and ran for the phone.
âHello?â he said, trying not to sound breathless.
âLink? Itâs, um, Sheik. From the bar?â
âI remember you Sheik,â He grinned foolishly. âHard to forget that bubblegum phone of yours.â
âHey, shut up. It was a gift.â
âI know, I know,â Link laughed. He was distantly aware of a spreading puddle of water and suds on the floor. âSo whatâs up?â
âNothing. Iâm bored. I was wondering if you were doing anything.â
âWell, I was in the shower, but me and Ralph and Kefei play basketball in the afternoon. You wanna come?â
Sheik was silent.
âSheik?â
âWhat? Um, basketball. Yes. Okay.â
âAre you all right?â
âFine! Um, so, where and when?â
âThe court at the easternmost side of the park, one oâclock. Um, the little park, not the one where all the rich people jog. You know which one I mean? I canât remember the name.â
âSure, yeah. Thatâs Kokiri Park, by the way.â
âGood to know.â He poked at the carpet with his toe, and water welled up. âHey Sheik, Iâm sorry but I gotta go. I left the water running, and I think Iâve saturated this square of carpet. Iâll see you this afternoon?â
Sheik paused for a second before answering. âUm, yeah. Afternoon. Yeah.â
âAre you sure youâre okay?â
âFine! You go, uh, do...whatever.â
âOkay... Bye.â
âBye...â
Link headed back upstairs, humming Bon Jovi.
zzz
Zelda stared at her phone for a long moment. This could be bad. There were tons of TV movies and episodes of Law and Order about people whoâd led double lives and gotten caught. It was never good. But it wasnât like she was going to hurt anyone. Okay, it was kind of awkward being friends with a guy she wanted to do carnal things to, especially now that she knew he really was as nice and funny as he seemed, but it wasnât like she was going to hit on him while Sheik. As funny as it would be to see his reactionâŚ
In fact, it was probably best if she didnât change their school relationship at all. As much as she wanted to, it would just be too confusing. She could get to know him as Sheik, maybe dig for some information, then claim Sheik was moving away and invite him to a movie as Zelda! It was the perfect plan!
Yeah, the perfect crazy stalker plan.
Zelda sighed and flopped back on her bed. âI have issues...â
zzz
One oâclock rolled around eventually, not soon enough in Linkâs opinion. Heâd spent the rest of the morning sitting around, watching TV, and trying to remember the rest of the lyrics to âLay Your Hands On Me.â Time well spent indeed.
Kafei and Ralph were already there when he arrived, since they had a shorter distance to walk (and Kafei had probably driven, the lazy bastard). They were practicing free throws. They needed to.
âHey guys!â
âHey Link.â
âMrrgh,â Ralph muttered.
âFeeling all right Ralph?â Link grinned.
âEat me.â
âItâs your own fault you know.â
âIt was cheap, dammit! How was I supposed to know it was strong?â
âThere are these things called âlabels?â They have a lot of information about the product theyâre stuck on.â
âShut up.â
âHey,â Kafei said impatiently. âAre we gonna play or what?â
âOh,â Link glanced around. âUh, well...â
âHe invited Sheik.â
Both boys turned and looked at Ralph in surprise.
âW- what?â Link said.
âWell you did. You keep looking around like youâre expecting someone. And Link, no offense, but you donât have many friends. As of last night, itâs me, Kafei, and Sheik.â
Link sighed. âAll right, fine, yes, I invited Sheik. You got a problem with that?â
âNah, Sheik seemed cool. Besides, itâll be nice to finally be able to play two-on-two again. Stupid Mikau and his âdreams.ââ
âThe album drops next month, right?â
âYuh-huh.â
âYou gonna buy it?â
âOh hell yeah.â
Link stripped down to a t-shirt and shorts, thankful it was warm for spring. He nabbed the ball away from Kafei with practiced ease, and lobbed it casually at the basket.
âSwish.â
âQuit showinâ off,â Kafei retrieved the ball from where it had bounced off. âNot all of us made the varsity team our sophomore year.â
âYeah,â Link sighed. âAnd you guys didnât almost get held back because of it.â
âHey man, your grades slipped because you let them, not because of basketball.â
âWell, basketball didnât help.â
Just then a small figure appeared from behind a stand of trees. Dark skin, blonde hair, and, Link realized, just a trifle on the hippy side.
âSheik!â he greeted the other boy cheerfully.
âHey guys,â Sheik said, smiling. âAm I late?â
Ralph shrugged. âI donât have a watch. You play much?â
âWellâŚno, actually. Only in P.E.â
âGood. Youâre with Link.â He took the ball from Kafei and tossed it to Sheik. âWe might actually stand a chance this time.â
Sheik looked down at the ball, then up at Link. âIâm your handicap?â
Link shrugged, grinning. âYou got a problem with that?â
âAs long as no one aims for my head, no.â
âYouâre no fun.â
zzz
The shadow watched the four young people from its hiding place among the trees. The tall blond one was his target, but the other three were interesting as well. All of them had a touch of destiny about them, all of them were young and strong, and the smallest one, unless the shadow was much mistaken, was actually female. The disguise was quite good, it would fool anyone whose body was grounded in the mortal world, but the shadow saw through means other than retinas, rods, and optical nerves.
The touch of destiny was brightest on the shadowâs target, shining like a beacon for all who could sense such things. The other two boys had only a faint touch, but enough that they could prove meddlesome to the dark voice, and the girl in disguise was somehow blocking her touch. There was a faint shimmer, beneath the spell, and the shadow thought that without it she would shine even brighter than its target.
But nowâŚwhat to do? The shadow didnât want to hurt any of these people. Why would it? It didnât even know them. In fact, they seemed nice! And so youngâŚ
But in his current form, the shadow was at the mercy of the dark voice. It was a being of magic and darkness, and to someone who had mastered both those things, it was but a puppet. The dark voice had already demonstrated how well it could control the shadow by bringing it to this plane. But it didnât want to follow the voiceâs orders. If only it could-
Wait. That was it! The shadow let out a silent crow of triumph. That was one problem solved, and one question answered. Now it just needed to wait for the right moment.
And this was not it.
The shadow decided to explore the town, to prepare for the next phase of its plan.
zzz
Link blinked, looking at the trees.
âHey! Get your head in the game!â
âDid you guys see something?â
âWhat?â
âOver there.â He pointed. âSomething moving.â
They all crowded around and looked.
âI donât see anything,â Ralph said.
âWell itâs not there now, but it was a second ago. It was likeâŚa shadow, moving by itself.â
âThatâs crazy. Youâre crazy.â
âMaybe it was a birdâs shadow,â Sheik suggested.
Link shook his head. âToo big and too dark. It would have to be one hell of a bird.â
âA kite?â
âDo you see any kites around here?â
âIâm just tossing out ideas.â
âI know, sorry.â
âMy idea is that Link is crazy.â Ralph swatted him on the back of the head. âCome on, while weâre young!â
He shook his head, but returned to the game. âMustâve been my imagination.â
âOr youâre going blind.â
âGood, just what I need.â He rolled his eyes.
âMaybe itâll get you pity dates.â
âIâve never had trouble getting dates, Ralph.â He kicked a loose piece of asphalt. âI can just never seem to get the girl I wantâŚâ
âBitch later, play now.â
Kafei threw the ball at Ralphâs head.
The rest of the weekend passed uneventfully. The four boys hung out for the rest of Saturday, and devoted most of Sunday to sleeping in and homework. Since it started pouring down rain around noon, this wasnât difficult.
The rain didnât stop until late that night, and the sun rose Monday morning on a city full of puddles and sidewalk-worms.
Kafei, as usual, gave Link a ride to school. Linkâs house was just a bit too far from the school for him to be able to walk, and it was only a couple streets out of Kafeiâs way.
As they got out of the van and headed across the nearly-flooded parking lot, neither boy noticed the black shadow that slipped from under one of the tires and darted ahead of them, vanishing into a puddle.
A puddle which, moments later, Link hopped over.
Something struck him as odd as he crossed the last stretch of blacktop, but Link couldnât put his finger on it. It was as though something was missing, something that he never paid much attention to but which made a noticeable difference now that it was gone.
He shook his head and put it down to the early hour, not even looking at his reflection in the glass door of the school.
Perhaps if he had, he would have noticed the black-clad young man now standing in the middle of the parking lot, where no one had stood before.
The shadow leaned over and examined his new reflection in a puddle. Not bad, not bad at all. Young and strong, good-looking in a nonthreatening kind of way. The shadow would have almost called the face âpretty,â if it didnât top such a lithe masculine body. This was the type of body lonely housewives paid hundreds of dollars to clean out their pools in nothing but a thong.
Lonely housewives. The shadow remembered lonely housewives. Husbands too. It- or rather, he- wasnât picky. Gender didnât mean much to you when your natural form was without reproductive organs. The fun organs.
The shadow found himself smiling, and decided he liked the smile as well. Yes, this form would do just fine.
Of course, the entire point of taking this form was that he would know the original ownerâs strengths and weaknesses and be able to use them against him. The shadow did a quick mental checklist, decided the young man would be just fine on his own, and headed out of the parking lot for the big wide world beyond.
The dark voice had left instructions in the shadowâs mind, of what he wanted it to do. As he walked, the shadow found those instructions, examined them, and sent an answer to the dark voice.
No.
Then he sealed his mind off from the voiceâs commands and burst out laughing.
That was one strength that all mortals shared, that they took for granted, and that they most often forgot they had. Free will. No one could make a mortal do anything they didnât want to do. Sure they could force them physically sometimes, but for the most part, you just couldnât boss a mortal around. Teenagers were even better, since along with free will they had a natural resistance to mind control. Their brains were half mush anyway, and the other half wouldnât listen to anybody.
The shadow was free now, truly free. He couldnât go back home, not until the voice was dealt with, but he could hang around this plane and live it up for a while.
He stopped walking outside a small cafĂŠ-like place with darkened windows and a Help Wanted sign in the window. Heâd seen a number of attractive young people there the previous afternoon, so it looked like as good a place as any to seek employment.
After all, when your number one goal in life is to have fun, what better place to work than an ice cream store where you had to sing every time you got a tip?
Back at the high school, Link got a sudden chill down his spine, and couldnât for the life of him figure out why.
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BatNeko
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10-21-2007, 11:11 PM
Chapter 3. Real-Life âDrunken Masterâ Bests Tea Kwon Do Champion!
âFive weeks,â Kafei announced. âIt has been five weeks since we went to a bar.â
Link rolled his eyes. âWeâre teenagers. Weâre not supposed to go to bars every weekend.â
âThatâs not the point and you know it.â
âSince when do you have a point? Besides,â he glanced around the cafeteria, âshould we really be talking about this here?â
âItâs lunch. Everyoneâs talking, no oneâs listening.â
âAh, youth,â Ralph murmured.
âMy point,â Kafei emphasized the word with a spork-jab in Linkâs direction, âis that you promised to be the designated driver next time, and itâs been five weeks and there hasnât been a next time!â
âAll right, all right, sheesh.â He rolled his eyes. âSo where do you want to go? Iâm assuming a not-gay bar.â
âNot-gay bar would be nice,â Kafei admitted. âAlthough meeting Sheik made up for it last time.â
âItâs a funny old world, ainât it?â
âShut up, Ralph.â
âWhy do you want to get drunk anyway?â Link asked. âYouâre just going to wake up with a hangover and a lot of memories you wish you didnât have.â
âIâm bringing my camera,â Ralph added cheerfully. âSo theyâll be memories you can never forget.â
âNot to mention the fact that I donât have a car.â
Kafei dug into his back pocket and tossed Link a ring of keys. âSo youâll take mine.â
âWait, you want to do this tonight? Kafei, itâs Wednesday.â
âSo?â
âSo we have school tomorrow.â
âSo?â
âSoâŚI wonât be drinking, what do I care? Letâs do it.â
âCool. Iâll call Sheik and see if heâs up for it.â
âIsnât he always?â Kafeiâs cell phone was one of the skinny flip-types. No camera, but it could play more games than Ralphâs N-Gage. He punched in the code for Shiekâs phone (it was still pink) and shushed his friends so he could listen.
From somewhere across the cafeteria, Link heard a sound. A melody, soft, like a lullaby. Then a girlâs voice squeaked in surprise.
âThatâs weird,â Kafei said. âItâs ringing. Sheik never has his phone on, especially not at school.â
âMaybe heâs expecting a call from someone else?â
âMaybe. Heâs not picking up.â
The lullaby stopped.
âHey, he hung up!â Kafei frowned at the phone. âWhat was that about?â
âIâll bet he didnât even know he had it on.â
âWell why wouldnât he answer?â
Ralph shrugged. âHe doesnât like you?â
Kafei threw a tater tot at him.
Link was staring across the lunchroom. That was Sheikâs ringtone, he was sure of it. What were the odds of someone having that same ringtone and having their phone go off at the same moment Kafei called Shiek? Not very high, that was for sure. But Link couldnât just go over there and start asking people if theyâd stolen his friendâs phone; that was crazy. Besides⌠Zelda was sitting over there. He didnât want to make a fool of himself in front of her.
Oh well. He could always ask Shiek about it later.
Kafei tried to call again after school, and this time Sheik picked up. Kafei said his voice sounded weird, like he was trying to be quiet without sounding like he was trying to be quiet, but Ralph told him he was a dork and the whole thing degenerated into a game of arm-punching.
That evening Link picked up Sheik at the corner Kefei had dropped him off at, that first night. He found himself reminiscing a lot as the night progressed. It wasnât as though anything special had happened. Over the last month, Sheik had simply become part of the gang. They hung out, they played basketball, they watched movies, they talked. Sometimes it was all four of them, sometimes one or more had somewhere else to be or homework to do, but it didnât matter. They were friends, all of them.
So why was it that whenever both Ralph and Kafei were occupied, and it was going to be just Link and Sheik, Link felt a little bitâŚrelieved? It was almost as though he preferred to spend time with Sheik when the other two werenât around. But that was silly, they were his friends, he liked spending time with them. It was just that spending time with Sheik wasâŚdifferent somehow. He couldnât put his finger on it.
Sheik, though Link didnât know it, was having a similar problem. Kafei and Ralph were great guys, and he had a lot of fun with them, but they were simply friends; Link was more. Or, at least, Sheik would have liked for him to be more. He wasnât stupid, he wouldnât risk the friendship, but sometimes it was hard to hang out and act as though he didnât have these feelings.
Sheik decided to deal with the stress by getting hammered. No, it wasnât a good idea, but he didnât care, dammit.
Link didnât notice at first, how much Sheik was drinking. Last time they had all limited themselves to a beer or two, trying to remain lucid. Sheik clearly had other ideas. And since Ralph wasnât one to turn down a challenge, real or imagined, he decided to match the smaller boy drink for drink.
A few hours of this and Link announced that they needed to go home, now.
âI donât know what the hell got into you two!â Link shouted, surprised at his own tone. He was clutching the steering wheel so hard his knuckles had turned white. âI mean, I expect Ralph to make dumb mistakes, but not to intentionally drink himself into a stupor! And Sheik? Honestly, what the hell! I thought better of you than that!â
ââM sorry,â Shiek mumbled. âI jusâ wanted ta not feel so bad for a whileâŚâ
Link felt himself melt a bit. âIf youâre feeling bad we can talk about it.â
âNope. Nope nope nope. No talkinâ âbout it.â
âBut Sheik-â
âNope!â He slumped back in his seat and pouted. It was strangely adorable.
Link sighed. âHow you doinâ Kafei?â
âHell of a lot better than those two.â He twisted in his seat to look back. âI think Ralph passed out.â
âWonderful.â He glared at the road for a bit, then sighed again. âIâm sorry Kafei. You wanted to have a good time tonight and nowâŚâ
âItâs not your fault. Besides, I did have a good time. Up until now anyway.â
âYeah, well... I kind of hate to ask, but-â
âYou want me to walk Sheik home?â
Link nodded. âI donât think heâll make it by himself.â
âNo prob. Whereâs that wall he climbs over?â
Link stayed in the car with the unconscious Ralph while Kafei helped sneak Sheik back over the wall and into his neighborhood. âWhereâs your house?â he asked. âIs it far?â
âMnm,â Sheik said. He listed dangerously to one side, and Kafei grabbed his shoulders.
âHey, watch it! I do not want to explain to your parents how you got so wasted. Especially since Iâm guessing you snuck out.â
Shiek leaned his head against Kafeiâs shoulder.
âOh come on, donât pass out on me. Iâve got to get you home or Link will kill me. The guyâs crazy about you, you know. Take a bullet for you, no question.â
âLinkâŚâ Sheik murmured.
âYeah, Link, the guy who will be murdering me if I donât get you home safe.â
ââŚoveâŚyouâŚLinkâŚâ
Kafei leaned a bit closer. âWhat was that?â
âI love you, Link,â he said, without a trace of slur. Then he wrapped his arm around Kafeiâs neck and kissed him soundly on the mouth.
Kafei promptly dropped the other boy on the sidewalk and backed away. âIâm not gonna hit you, because youâre smashed, but- dammit- you can find your own way home!â
When he got back to the van Kafei had managed to compose his features into an expressionless mask. This was so different from his normal expression, that Link immediately knew something was wrong.
âWhat happened?â
âNothing.â
âThatâs a filthy lie. Tell me what happened.â
âIt was nothing, okay?â He slumped down in his seat. âReally itâsâŚitâs no big deal. I probably overreacted a bit anyway.â
âDid you get in a fight?â
âNot exactly...â He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to think of a way to explain it, without really giving anything away. âItâs just, Sheikâs drunk right? He did something, in his drunken state, that sort of...that I didnât like.â
âWhat?â
âIâm not gonna tell you, Sheik wouldnât want me to.â
âWell did he say something?â
âSort of. I donât know if he meant it though.â He thought about that. âSure seemed like he did...â
âAnd youâre not going to tell me?â
âNot on your life.â
âAw come on!â
âNo. Now letâs get Ralph home before he decides to sing âLouie, Louie.â Again.â
It wasnât until he got home that Link realized heâd completely forgotten to ask Sheik about his phone. Oh well.
Kafei seemed oddly subdued the next day. He had a whispered conversation with Anju between first and second period, the type where they both glanced over at the subject of their conversation (Link) and then acted like nothing had happened. When lunch rolled around, he had traded his calm for determination.
âLink, I think you should go on a date.â
Link blinked at him. âWhazza?â
âAnju has a friend named Cremia, youâve probably seen her around.â
âSure, but-â
âSheâs cute, donât you think?â
âOh yeah, very, but-â
âItâs not healthy to keep pining after someone that you never intend to make a move on.â
âBut-â
âSo youâre taking Cremia to Cold Stone on Friday.â
Link looked at him for a bit, to make sure he was done talking, then voiced his objections. âI barely know the girl, Kafei.â
âSo youâll get to know her over ice cream.â
âYou know I like someone else.â
âYouâve never given her any sign of that. And like I said, itâs not healthy. Unless youâre planning on asking Zelda out today, youâre going out with Cremia.â
âZeldaâs not here today,â Link muttered.
âItâs settled then.â
âWhy are you so interested in my love life all of a sudden?â
Kafei blinked. Clearly, he hadnât been expecting that line of attack. âUh, well, I just think itâd do you some good, you know? Get out, see a girl. Knock you out of this slump.â
âIâm not in a slump.â
âYou havenât been on a date all year!â
âI just got tired of the type of girls Iâd been seeing.â
Ralph raised his head up from the table. âAll right, first of all, stop talking so loud. Second, Linkâs got rights. He doesnât have to see this girl if he doesnât wanna. And he clearly doesnât wanna. Oh, and Link? What was wrong with the type of girl you were seeing? They seemed nice to me. A little bit on the slutty side, but whatâs wrong with that?â
Link shook his head. âNot everyone likes sluts you know. It just got kind of old. I mean, once they found out I live alone all they wanted was to spend the night or use my house for a party. I didnât mind the spending the night so much, but when I realized Iâd slept with more girls than either of you two combined, I sort of started hating myself.â
âYou hated yourself because you got a lot of action?â
âI hated myself because I never wanted to be the type of guy who just uses girls for sex. Come on Ralph, even youâre not that much of an ass.â
âNo,â he admitted, âIâm not. I like sex, sure, but I know itâs not the only thing that matters. Sometimes the warm fuzzies are just as nice as afterglow.â He paused for a minute. âBut if you ever tell anyone I said that, I will deny it up and down and start a rumor that youâve got a meth lab in your basement.â
Link raised his right hand solemnly. âUpon my honor.â
âGood. Now let me sleep.â He buried his face in his arms.
Kafei ate in silence for a moment, seeming to think about what Ralph had said. âYou know, Cremiaâs not like those other girls you went out with.â
âKafeiâŚâ
âWhat harm can one date do? I really think youâd like her.â
Link sighed. âYouâre not going to give this up, are you?â
âI really think itâs important that you go out with a girl.â
âThatâs weird.â
âI donât care.â
They stared each other down.
âFine,â Link stabbed a piece of what he was pretty sure was chicken. âI havenât been to Cold Stone in a while anyway.â
âGreat! Iâll go tell Anju!â He jumped up from the table and ran off.
âRalph?â Link said.
âMnngh.â
âDo you have your phone with you?â
âBackpack. Outside pocket.
âThanks.â Link found it and punched in Sheikâs number. It rang a few times, longer than Link usually let phones ring, then he heard a beep and Sheikâs voice.
ââLo?â
âHey Shiek? How ya feeling?â
âHow do you think? Ugh, I canât even remember how I got home.â
âServes you right.â
âYeah, yeah, yeah. Call me to lecture?â
âNo, actually. I need your helpâŚâ
Across the room, Kafei was proudly detailing to his girlfriend how he had talked Link into the blind date. Technically it wasnât âblind,â since Link knew Cremia from class, but there wasnât a better term for it.
Malon listened without a word to his exaggerated tale of verbal prowess, and was even kind enough to wait until heâd left to snort derisively.
âThis is a bad idea Anju.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean you know Cremia likes Kafei.â
âI know...but I donât want her to know that I know. And besides, Linkâs really nice. Maybe if she goes out with him, sheâll get over Kafei.â
âYou donât really believe that.â
She sighed. âI want to believe it...but no.â She poked half-heartedly at her sandwich. âWhat about you, Malon? Would you go out with Link?â
âMaybe, if I didnât know that Zelda has a thing for him.â
Anju gasped. âOh no! Really? Ah, what am I going to do?â
âCalm down, An, you didnât know. She never says anything about it.â
âBut- but what am I going to do?â
Malon stifled the urge to laugh. âYou donât have to do anything! From Kafeiâs description, Link doesnât want anything to do with this. One date wonât hurt anybody. It might even motivate Zel to make a move.â
âWell... That would be good...â
âYou see? Youâre helping!â
âIâm helping!â She stopped and thought about that for a second. âWait, no Iâm not.â
âAll right, no youâre not. ButâŚletâs just, like, not tell Zelda about it. Does that work?â
âThat works,â Anju agreed with a sigh. âMan, I am glad sheâs home sick today.â
âTen to one sheâs hungover.â
âWhat?â Anju exclaimed. âWhat do you mean? Hungover? Zelda?â
âYeah,â Malon tossed her hair and tried to look nonchalant. âYou must have noticed how sheâs been all ditching us lately.â
âSheâs been busy with homework...â
âShe doesnât have a class without you me or Maren in it, and we havenât been busy with homework. Besides, sheâs smart. Smarter than me.â
âShe canât be if sheâs hungover.â
âHey now, you donât have to be stupid to get drunk. Well, a little stupid, yes, but she could have been stupid temporarily.â
âI donât know why you think just because sheâs been busy sheâs been drinking.â
âWell, I donât think thatâs all sheâs been doing. Iâve just noticed some things. Like yesterday when her phone went off at lunch and she all panicked and wouldnât tell us who called her.â
âMaybe she has a secret boyfriend.â
âMaybe. Or maybe it was one of her drinking buddies.â
Anju stared at her for a moment, eyes just a little bit wider than normal. âMalon... Have you actually tried to imagine Zelda with drinking buddies?â
âWell, no.â
âDo. Just...get an image in your head.â
Malon closed her eyes and imagined. She snorted. Then burst out laughing. âOkay, okay, so Zeldaâs not the type to go out and get smashed with a bunch of truckers. But you never know! She seems down sometimes. Lonely.â
âSheâs got us.â
âI know that, but does she?â
zzz
Time moved in odd jumps and skips on Friday. His classes would drag on like they normally did, but every time Link remembered his âdateâ after school the day just didnât seem long enough.
Much too soon, school was over. He avoided Kafei and walked home, deciding he would rather get the extra exercise than put up with his so-called âfriendâsâ relationship advice. He didnât get much of a reprieve though, because Kafei showed up at his door at four-thirty, to âhelp him get ready.â
This seemed to consist of vetoing every shirt Link put on, and singing Cremiaâs praises.
âYouâre making most of this stuff up, arenât you?â Link grumbled at one point.
âNo! Well...maybe exaggerating a bit...â He stood up and dusted off his knees. âCome on, letâs go.â
âBut thereâs still like ten min-â
âWeâre going.â
Ralph dumped Link off at the corner, ordered him to be polite, and sped off. Link sighed and headed over to the main entrance to wait. He didnât know what had gotten into Kafei, but he wasnât going to put up with it more than he had to.
Cremia showed up a few minutes later, and immediately Link started feeling bad about what he planned to do. She was a nice girl, quite pretty, and didnât deserve to be ditched. She also looked about as uncomfortable as Link felt.
âUm, hi,â she said with a little smile.
âHi,â Link replied. âSo, uh, shall we?â
âSure.â
Link held the door open for her automatically, and they got in line for ice cream.
If youâve never been to a Cold Stone Creamery, allow me to give some background info. They describe themselves as âThe Ultimate Ice Cream Experience â˘,â and do their best to make the restaurants fancy and unique. Rather than âSmall, Medium, and Large,â they have âLike It, Love It, and Gotta Have It.â They serve a number of complicated and unusual products, most of which have names that are a pun of some kind. The employees are required to sing whenever someone leaves a tip of a dollar or more.
It was a popular spot, for anyone with some time to kill, and it helped that the ice cream was pretty damn good, but at that moment Link would have given a limb to be anywhere else.
There were two women working behind the counter, one teenager with a bored expression and blonde pigtails, and an older woman who could have been anywhere in her twenties or thirties. The younger one took their orders with a snap of gum and a flip of pigtail, then went to work like a pro. It wasnât until he got to the register that Link realized he didnât have enough cash to cover both of them.
The pigtailed girl, her nametag read âTatl,â rolled unusually bright yellow eyes as he stared at his wallet in horror. âI donât care if you donât tip, ya know,â she said.
Link bit his lip and turned to Cremia. âUh, Iâm sorry but I donât have...â
âItâs okay,â she interrupted, smiling with what looked like relief. âIâd rather go Dutch anyway.â
âPlease donât tip,â Tatl said as she took the money. She sounded slightly desperate.
The older woman tossed an M&M at her from the other end of the counter. âStop saying that to people.â
âGet that crackhead goth boy back in here and I wonât!â She shook her head, pigtails bouncing. âWhy he enjoys making a fool of himself so much I will never understand.â
âAll right, one; heâs not a crackhead, two; heâs not goth, and three; neither will I. Heâs coming back tomorrow so just put up with it for the rest of the day.â
âAll I know is, youâd better hire someone else, and soon! Me and Tael are only doing this as a favor to you.â
âI know, I know, you remind me enough. The ad is still running and Iâll buy a new Help Wanted sign as soon as Dark promises not to make this one into a paper airplane.â She smiled apologetically at Link and Cremia. âSorry about that. You kids enjoy your ice cream.â
âWe will,â Link and Cremia chorused.
As they walked back to the table, Link said, âDid we just answer her in unison?â
âI think so... I was getting a very âkindergarten teacherâ vibe from her.â
âMe too. Weird.â
They sat down and began working on their ice cream and attempting to make conversation. It was pretty obvious that neither wanted to be there, but they didnât want to come right out and say it.
So Link was intensely relived when Sheik showed up and plunked himself down at their table.
âHeya,â he greeted them cheerfully. âWorkinâ on your girlish figures?â
âHi Sheik,â Link said, trying not to sound too happy to see him. âUm, this is Cremia. Cremia, this is my friend Sheik.â
âNice to meet you,â Sheik said. âThose are really cute earrings, did you make them yourself?â
âOh, yes!â Cremia said, pleasantly surprised. âI got the beads at this little store downtown, and the wire is a colored paperclip.â
âI thought thatâs what it was! You donât normally find that bright yellow in professional jewelry, but it goes really well with your hair.â
Link allowed himself a small sigh and sank back in his seat, letting the âgirl talkâ wash over him. He honestly hadnât expected it to work so well, or so quickly, but for once he was grateful for his friendâs femininity.
After Link was sure Cremia was no longer going to care if he left at all, Link took his now-empty ice cream bowl and headed for the trash. He was about to make a ninja-like exit, when he remembered something.
The older woman was at the register now, the blonde girl with the bright yellow eyes having vanished into the back room. Her nametag read âManager: Navi,â and her blue eyes were just as bright.
âExcuse me, Maâam?â
She gave him an open, welcoming smile; the type that many people in the service industry had learned how to fake. âYes, how can I help you?â
âWell, I heard you talking earlier, about needing help?â
âOh!â her smile turned genuine. âYes, weâre hiring. Do you want an application?â
âPlease.â
She dug one out from under the counter and passed it over. âYou can fill it out now, if you want.â
Link couldnât help but grin. âKinda desperate?â
âKinda,â she admitted. âYou?â
âKinda. Do you have a pen?â
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StormRose
*^_^*
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10-23-2007, 07:55 AM
I knew it! Zelda undercover...XDD Priiiiceless
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