You have to report it to the Mods by hitting the red report button

Tana would be right. Just report the post you want deleted. :yes:

Originally Posted by Lovers Never Tell

I feel you used the word "nothing" too much and with all the other stronger words, I believe you can use a thesuarus to find something else... Maybe expand on the idea of this seeing as it comes off incomplete? Other than that, why the color for the text? Does it hold some kind of meaning? If not, I'd suggest taking it off as it would confuse me.

Hmm... nothing else I can find to nit-pick at. :)

Thank you very much for the quick response to my poem!
You're right, "nothing" probably was overused.
Grammatical use of punctuation is not my strongest point, and wouldn't mind seeing reasoning for the corrections - not that I think you're wrong, I just want to learn why I was wrong.
The post was made in blue as I make my posts in blue. If printed from a printer with only monochromatic ink, it would be grey, 80%. I prefer that idea over black, 100%. Personal preference, really, nothing significant. I apologize that my colour choice led to confusion on your behalf.

***Precipitate
–noun
13. Chemistry. a substance precipitated from a solution.
Precipitate | Definition of Precipitate at Dictionary.com:

I wished to use Precipitate as my noun, as it refers to a chemical separation of one substance from another, in this case, sound from meaning.

Plate was abstract for reader's discretion. At base meaning, a plate one sits before at a dinner party. It holds nourishment, something to fulfill an individual, yet this function has been far removed as it now catches meaningless sounds that nourish no one. I'm not sure if explaining that any further in the poem would add or not; my personal preference is to err on the side of being too ambiguous.

Poems shouldn't be critiqued. Poetry isn't an essay, a research paper, nor a letter of recommendation. It's a way for people to express themselves in a manner unlike the norm of things through ideas placed on paper. I'm surprised anyone would participate in the editing of something that cannot truly be "fixed". Why would you want to change an expression of feelings merely because it does not fit how you see things?

But that's simply an observation and not ment to be undermining. I was merely curious about how critiquing poetry will help the poet write better, when there's nothing wrong to begin with? You may disregard this should you feel uncomfortable or that I've crossed the line in questioning.

Poetry is not just a form of expression. It's a creative means. It is a form of communication. Why express if you are communicating nothing?

It's a work of diction, of playing with language, of following some rules, breaking others. Why critique poetry? Because there is rhyme, rhythm, reason, meter, metrics, grammar. When one critiques poetry it is not what is being expressed but how you express it.

As a poet, I seek to get better in my writing. My poetry has become exponentially better since I started seeking critique. My ideas are still mine, I express just as much as I did, yet now it is definable. It is an art form. It is communication.

We are critiquing poetry of the poets who want to gain a better understanding behind the mechanics of poetry.

In drawing, I learned to draw anatomy - studied it, got critiqued on it - so that my art could get better, so that I could learn when to exaggerate anatomy when it best suits my needs.

In the same way, I am learning to use poetry to communicate; using critique to improve my writing, and perhaps one day, be respected for word smithing.

"Why would you want to change an expression of feelings merely because it does not fit how you see things? "

Poetry, in our time, has cruelly been beat down to the opinion that it is only "an expression of feeling". It's not. It's words. It's lack of words. It's punctuation. Diction. It is form, it is function; it is the choice to have neither or all.

We can improve. We can find ways to improve.

And critique is a "take it or leave it". As a poet, I can choose to take the critique, or I can ignore it and keep my poem the way it is. Both are valid.

It is art. It can become art. It can be refined as an art.

That is why poetry is critiqued.

:) A response I can appreciate, and I'm hard pressed not to agree. In some cases I've found that people relate poetry to merely words with little meaning, creating a blog rather than a poem.

The information is appreciated and duely noted.

I actually struggle with that question a lot, both in art and poetry - and sometimes I am not sure what the answer really is.

I agree with the idea that poetry shouldn't be critiqued, to an extent... And poetry is most certainly a great means of expression of feeling and experience.

Most of my poetry doesn't get offered up to the chopping block, sometimes I write just to write. Othertimes, I wish to make it into an art.

Your question was completely valid, and even helped me construct an opinion on the matter! Thanks for asking, it was a great question.

Happy to help. Though you have a point that I haven't considered before. Such being the case, I would like to put up my own works for your inspection if that's acceptable.

Was there a new word that had to be used in the poem to be critiqued? Or should I put up something original?

Currently the words are conspectus and gaunt, but if you'd like a different word... then... I choose.. Distrait!

distrait \dis-TRAY\ , adjective;
1.
Divided or withdrawn in attention, especially because of anxiety.

>.> Though I may be breaking thread rules. I'm not actually the thread creator.

Hahaha. Are we looking for a new word then? So be it. It's Distrait. I'll change it on the post and will even offer my own poetry for critique.

In relation to your question Haruko, Mirana is correct all the way. In order to get better, to get somewhere, with this art you MUST be critiqued. There are standards as there are for Prose and every other kind of art. Yes, I completely agree that poetry is a form of expression, but it has to be done with certian things in mind. As you can see from my collective, I have many different types of writing, but not one is finished. I have yet to reacieve more than one, if any, on all of those peices. This thread was created as a way to improve one's writing and so should be treated as such; hince the critique. If one doesn't wish for it, then I wouldn't suggest doing this as I tend to be a tad hard, but it's well worth the read. None of crits are for the purpose of having one stop writing. In fact, I often offer up my own works to be torn apart and as examples. I'm not perfect and no my word is not the end all;be all. You're more than welcome to not take it, but at least do me the favor of realizing the amount of time I put into the crit and also feel free to ask questions. My brain is to be picked at and your's to be taught.




My poem for Distrait::
When You Cut The Rope Loose

Distrait clouds a sane mind.

[I once read somewhere
"I think that with a little bit of imagination
it's hard to be faithful,
but that with a huge amount of imagination
it may be possible.

I think that I don't have much imagination."
--and definitely not for you.]

But hats off to the tamer
whose words, even though shrieking
past my thoughts, waved a wand
bewitching neurons to switch passages
reconnecting patterns I believed I had hold of.
No amount of therapy
can pill-pop this away.
Does that take care of it?

Is no one going to enter then? Oh well... I was having fun with this.