That's the point Kaze. lol.

It's either a man looking after his true love, or a hawk hunting it's prey.

Oh... I see... ^^ cool... that makes sense :)

Yeah..so if the person it's mainly shot from's point of view is a person, then that person is a knight. If not..then..yeah ^^"

why must someone feel pain to understand others?
Be trampled to know humility.
Be made fun of to be kind.
Why do people have to cry, to know what it's like.
Why must we feel pain
have our hearts broken
after they flutter so high.
why do people have to put others down,
just to feel proud.
why must others reassure others that they know what they're talking about.
is pain even worth it?
To understand the way the world works?
Kindrid spirits, instinct, love?
Some people say that's how the world works, not even questioning it.
Others fight that fact..
but I just watch and wonder why.
~~~~

I watch the world go by
thinking that time will stop,
and my time will come.
watching through narrow eyes,
speculating what lies in front of me
because I see nothing now.
Just other's lives..
Other's love...
where is mine?
I can't help but wonder.
Why must I wait...
I watch slowly, the clock never stops ticking.
One moment I'm 13, naive and carefree...
the next I'm 18...and I don't see the me that was there 5 years earlier.
what happened to that girl..
why did people feel the need to crush her dreams?
I feel sorry for her..
but I guess that means I feel sorry for me.
Where did my dreams go?
Why did I have to trust others..
why did I have to feel the pain of disappointment,
after everyone said to give it a chance..
only to discover that chance wasn't something my father deserved.
and that hurt
having listened to others say, go and try....when trying ending up only backfiring.
false accusations thrown.
destroying who I once was..
In the end, I'm the same person, but in the end I'm different as well.
My trust isn't as strong....
but my belief in the good of others has stayed..
then what has grown?
Am I stronger than I was? or weaker?
I wish these questions would just go away.

First impressions mean nothing.
They shatter away so quickly.
When we meet, I smile
The warmth happiness I feel doesn't seem to go away.
You make me want to cry, but all I can do is smile.
You tell me secrets you hid,
my heart hurts, but I still look in your eyes and smile
all the signs seem to go blank
my eyes seem to go blind
I see right through you, but I don't run away like I should.
I hold your hand.
Do things with you that feel right.
Allow myself to be taken advantage of because I think I could love you.

Is this what love feels like?
Happy..sad...torn up inside all at the same time?
I say stop. I say we can't. I can't..
but it doesn't stop.
We move too fast.
I don't want to have any regret.
You kiss me, and I feel something
you kiss me and I feel happy.

Why?
why did this happen.
why did we meet.
Why can't I stop thinking of you.
Why can't this just stop..
I want to..but I can't
I don't want to have regrets. I don't want you to regret

It wasn't what I wanted.
when I lay down at night, I think of you
you're eyes, your smile.
The way your heart beats.
comforts me...

In the end I think you'll leave. I think it'll be over. and it'll just be me
with these thoughts these problems
I don't understand.
If I'm too good for you like you say, then who's good enough for me?
it hurts so much
I want to cry,
but no matter how hard I try
the tears don't seem to flow
just the thoughts of you and what happened..
go through my mind, over and over again.
like a horrible rerun.
...please be here when it ends. Please don't abandon me.
Please don't hate me.. I don't think I could ever hate you.
despite what happened.
I'm just so scared..

@fuyumi_saito: Keep up the good work.

aww thank you ^^

It hurt
to be used.
broke my heart so many times, more than just two.
Such kind eyes...what do they really hide?
....another place..another time.
Another person.
Who was there when I needed you.
Who helped me through.
I love that person.
but they will never know.
I'll hide it like the snow.
no one will know.
My love hopefully won't grow..
I will wait..
Hope when the time is right,
that it's not to late.
The person who was there.
The person who kissed my forehead
and said everything would be alright.
I don't want to lose.
so I won't let my heart speak.
So I can keep them close.
Because they were there, when you were not.
...That person is special to me.
The closest thing right now that i have to a best friend..
I want to thank them..

That last one is really sad... especially since I know what it's about... *hugs*

Advice on last poem (if you want any, it's in white in case you don't): I think, for the 2 second to last lines, maybe another word for friend would help?
"...That person is my friend.
The closest thing right now that i have to a best friend.."

Broke the moniter
Broke the mirror and the tv.
Broke all the things that could see me
Made myself blind
Broke all the water.
Don't want to see those eyes
Green like the forest
staring at me.
Crushed my glasses
avoided the rain
maybe I should just rip my eyes from my sockets.

---
Denial with a smile
that's how it is suppose to be
Smile like you mean it, even if the person who you're talking to can't see
There you go. Good job
Now pretend everything is fine
in your little illusion
where the things you see you don't really want to see
Positive negative.
I can't change the world.
I can't even change one person's heart
Someone out there...
Right..
I hope but my head is filled with doubts
does love even exist?
when all I've ever felt the most is pain.
Everyone is so horrible
Including me
Maybe I'm the most horrible of them
fake the cheerfulness, till I believe that I'm alright
only to have one little thing cause my world to come falling down on me
like a ton of bricks
---
I went outside
No wind at all.
It was so humid.
The moist air clinging to my skin
I hated it.
---
It keeps coming up in my mind.
That horrible night
Trust seems to mean nothing to that person
"just trust me"
and lets see how that went.
not well.
No...
but do you and did you listen?
no..
I hate myself
more than I hate you
When will I stop remembering.
when will I wake up from this nightmare.
that seems to come back to me whenever the stars fill the sky.
Cloudyness covers them
Classify this as stupidity
Can I really ever trust someone again?
...yeah.
but that's just me
I wish I could just be more cautious but it's not my nature
I wish I could just die
I wish I was my grandpa
instead of chemo, I'd say terminate me
just let me die
what do I have to live for.
I'm tainted.
scars on my body
on my heart
on my mind..
I'm disgusting and tainted
I don't want to look at myself
whenever I do I can't help but think I'm so ugly..
even if others disagree,
that's still all I see
why even look in the mirror
who'll ever love something like me?
tainted..blood....disgusting.
and I promised not to cut
so now I can't purify myself of this.
can't release the pain.
taste my own blood.
I'm gonna die anyway
does it matter when?
I know they care
but the pain is too great
I can only sit here and suffer
Smile like I mean it
when really my mind is thinking
I hate myself
more than anything.
I'm so ..f.....weak.

Running around...
Trying to find a job
Job hunting really sucks..
I hope there is a job I can find.
so I can move out finally.
~~~
I just feel like no one understands
I don't see the point of anything.
My heart is breaking
I only seem to feel pain
I wish I could find a razor,
break my skin
and make it bleed
leave more scars on my already tainted body.
Where's my razor?
~~~
I'm tired of being stepped on..
by everyone around me
like I'm some sorta doormat
that says treat me like trash
Where's the book that tells me my future
that tells me my happy ending.

Nice girls never finish first.
They're the ones that get taken advantage of.
They're the ones left behind
that have to do all the work..
they're the ones that die.

I don't want to keep being a nice girl.
So everyone can think they can walk all over me.
I don't wanna be a nice girl..
I don't wanna be..
but I guess that's just how I have to be.

I want to hold a sign that says leave me the heck alone..
don't step on me, this doormat isn't to be touched by your yucky feet..

I'll always be a nice girl.. And I'll always finish last.

At least nice guys can get the girl, but nice girls..
they're just friends in the end.
~~~
I've already given up all hope..
I've read my book
my fairy tale as snow white
no dwarves here because I'm already short enough
I live in a little house made of many trees
with animals..
then you came to me in that dream trying to steal my book
my true love.
You're dark hair and straight forward eyes
looked deep into mine.
I tried to pull away
dropping my fairy tale
in the water surrounding my little home
as it caught on fire..
You took me away...
just before I read the page
and said that you were the one..
but where are you..I don't want to wait for forever..
I really truly don't
where are you..
to rescue me from this burning building
come steal my book of fantasy.
Drop it in the water so the ink fills the lake.
turns everything gray and black
then rescue me away
after we both read that final page..
Happily ever after..
where is it..
~~~
They say if you pray
it'll come true
if you wish upon a star things will happen for you
I've prayed for an angel
but he hasn't come
I've wished for love
but all I get is heartache
when will this pain go away?
Where is the angel..
that you're suppose to send me
sweep me away as his bride.
take me away and make me his wife.
live happily ever after..
where is my angel?

Since hardly anyone reads this, I'll post this here in poetic form as a way to vent. Please don't comment on it. If you do.. Just remember I would rather you not even read this. So if you say anything. Remember I asked for you not to.

Vent poem
I'm so worried
All these things
causing me to actually be able to cry
I don't want to seem weak
but
Grandpa is dying
and I haven't seen him in so long.
My brother was beaten by my biological father
now he's run away and might come here to stay
My friend who I think of as a sister
isn't safe at home.
I want her to be safe
I hope I see her online again soon so I know that she is
but the time it will take..will be great
My sister has to sleep in my biological father's bed.
It disgusts me
how can I be related to such a crazy disgusting man.
I just want everything okay but I guess it can't be.
~~
The fox is flying around the world
the fox is clinging to the edge of the planet
the fox is hugging the earth
what is fire fox doing to you?

Locks of gold,
cascading down a face of an angel
Turning away,
the dress of the fair lady sways.
It's soft colors of blue and silver
shining in like the night's sky
as she dance with her handsome prince charming
Other's may look, and think that he's actually kind of scary looking
but in her eyes,
he's the most kindest thing in the room.
The lights dim
and the two stars return to their place in the sky.
~~
...Yeah i don't know what the heck is up with that poem. I wrote it for no real reason, and it has no meaning except to those who read it I suppose.

I don't know what it was about... but some of the descriptions were beautiful.

Thanks. It was an on the spot thing that I made myself do for no reason ^^'

~~
Sometimes I wonder
is this happiness I feel right now fake?
I'm trying to view myself the way my friends do
but I find it hard.
I'm happier than I have been in so long.
but is it even real?
I'm going through so many things alone.
I'd rather not, but...
am I really happy?
Have I really become so good at faking it, that now I myself believe it?
I wonder if I could truly ever be happy
When I ended up crying for god knows what reason last night.
When all the flowers die.
Will they be reborn in the spring?
I hate when things are late
I really don't want to have to worry.
I know my kindness isn't fake.
My intentions aren't false.
But my reasons...
is it all just because of the constant guilt I feel?
what sin have I committed to constantly feel guilty my whole life?
What did I do..?
Maybe in a past life..
I guess I'll just wait
for my happiness to fade away. Or maybe it'll grow.
I don't know.

I struggle control
Over my feelings
over my heart
and over my mind
but sin comes in and eats away
at my life
Everyday
the temptation is there
I fall for it again and again
this sickening feeling
as I slice away my sin
struggling to keep it in
Trying to hide
under a mask and disguise.
I struggle to get rid of my sin.
Yet it keeps haunting me
day and night
I struggle with these things
I don't even know why,
I do these things
I don't know why I struggle
Struggle with in
Struggle with my sin
I must keep it hidden.
Please don't see
me struggling with this horribly ugly thing.
Why must I struggle.
Why must I feel like I die each time
day and night
I struggle for no reason
I don't know why.
Maybe I'm lonely
Maybe I just need to cry.
~~

I keep trying to keep the conversation flowing
but it's like I'm the middle of a busy street
talking to wall
that's not listening to me

Oh I feel depressed,
I'm just trying to be sweet
but you're not listening to me
No matter how much I speak

I feel like I'm talking to a wall
In the middle of a busy street.
Cause you're not listening to a word I say
I just want you to speak
but you don't seem to care
no no no no...

I just want you to speak,
please won't you listen to me
The sky's not falling
I'm not in trouble no
I don't need a hand
but please understand

I just want you to speak to me.
Please just won't you speak to me...

i love your poems!!! there's so much emotion in them. you could totally get these published or something

lol..thank you but I don't know if I really could..

here are my newest poems..to be honest I'm really embarrassed by them because they're really..umm..cheesy ^^"
~~~

I wanna walk with you...
never leave your side..
be with you every night
I want a family
a castle and lots of trees
some kitty cats and puppies
I want all these things
but only if you're with me

I...can't understand this sadness tonight
I feel like I'm gonna cry
all I want is you by my side
a ring to tie us together
a happy story
one that goes on for the rest of our lives
oh we may fight
but in the end
we forgive at night
I want to be with you forever
I want forever
but if it never comes
why can't you b e my forever
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna be so glad.
oh why can't we be together...forever
I don't want those stories that end unhappily

I want a nice home
holidays with family
birthdays and everything
I want you and that's all
it's so hard to follow
these simple rules
but I want forever
with you..
I want all the things I dream of
but I won't have any of those things
if I don't have you to add to those things.
I want forever..
~
I keep searching for you.. Dreaming of you
I want to hold your hand
forever far away
I don't know what to say
nothing seems to work out as we plan
will you be my future
will you be my past
a moments infatuation
that doesn't seem to last
I want you to be there
when I call you
I want you to last
because I need you
but I suppose
you don't know I exist
you don't need me
and all you do is take away this loneliness
I don't want think that I will never see you
when I hear your laugh, a smile lights my face
but I guess I'm just another fan.
that won't change
any day.
if I were to meet you..I don't know what I would do
if I could only meet you
if I could only see you
but despite these wishes being the deepest ones in my heart
I can't change the facts
I'm too practical to even start
what can I do
all I do is prepare for you
and hope for one day
hopng that one day will come
maybe someday will our day
you're my someday..
if only you were mine
I'd be so happy
I cannot lie

I'd hold your hand as we walked down the street
the light shining through the trees
decorating the snow at our feet

but now is not someday
and one day may never be
I just want you in my someday
because you give me the hope i need
please be my someday
I wanna be your someday too
but someday may never happen
but I still want it to come true
I still want to be with you
I may be a silly fan
and someday may never happen
but I can still dream
and while I dream I can't regret
that the possible someday makes me happy
even if someday doesn't come true
I still want my someday to be with you...
~~~

unrequited
the black eyeliner you tried
I looked at you across the table
thoughts wandering in my mind
your eyes, your hair..you're smile
you were like a being from another world
a world I could never be a part of
a world I wanted to join, but didn't fully understand
but I was okay with that
even when you returned my letter that day
when you said you liked me the same way
transcending thoughts
smiles
but in the end it was just another heart break
another time, another place

maybe it would have worked
maybe it would have been a different story
we'd have all the things we talked about
~~~

Water overflows in the river
the trees are growing beautifully.
whenever the sun shows up
the land begins to light up
everything seems to reach out towards the sun.
even with the sun, there is darkness
shadows are cast in every direction.
As the sun disappears
the shadows grow
until everything becomes dark
Until the moon comes out
the moon that reflects the sun
it's beautiful glow
illuminates the night sky
Most of the plants cannot grow in the moon
because they will always want the sun light
~~~
Hey this one actually has a title! "Sigh"
Everything's alright
yet your words come out slowly
Aren't we going to be okay?
we're best friends after all
why won't you tell me whats wrong
did I do something wrong?

Yet whenever it's time
it blows away like a snowflake
melting as it hits the ground

Everything will be alright right?
then why do I feel so lonely
Why do I have to pretend
when everything isn't alright
why do I have to distract myself
from realizing how lonely I truly am
As long as I'm happy
as long as I forget
how lonely I am

I just want a friend
but I guess that's asking for too much
maybe I want more than that
but maybe I'm expecting to much
I guess it will not happen for awhile
my heart seems to ache
but I guess that's okay

I just wonder how long
I have to endure this pain
because it really hurts to be alone
when everyone I know
has someone more important
when my important people don't care
what do I do..
my heart just seems to continue to ache
and the tears don't stop flowing
choking back a sob
why won't it stop hurting

It'll be alright
we have the future
but I don't like waiting
because it hurts so much right now
I just want to stop hurting sometimes
I just don't want to feel like I'm alone..
but I know I really am
and I know my wishes might not come true
but I just want to feel alright
is that so bad?
~~~
My mind is always wandering like a vegabound
Trying to find the next one.
Trying to find another distraction
Him or him...
It doesn't really matter
as long as they fit the criteria
am I bad person for thinking these things?
just because I don't want to feel lonely?

I've tried so many things to stop this pain
cutting, religion, celebrity crushes...they all end the same
me feeling empty and alone
What do I do
maybe I'm not fit to be full.
I try to improve
but nothing calms this sadness in my heart

Where are you?
Kieto..
that's all I heard in the dream
as I ran after you in the green fields
your handsome face so serious

Where is this Kieto
this person that doesn't exist
Why do I remember dreams like this?
It's a curse sometimes I swear

This land I'll never be
why do I see it in my dreams
a person I'll never have
why do I wish for such foolish things
All the hope is dashed away
yet I keep searching and searching
why can't I find something that feels my heart?
why does it feel so sad and empty?

wooh..due to the long last post.. newest poem. it's about..well it's obvious about what it's about. ^^"" It's something that is bothering me right now.

~~~
You don't say your scared, but it sounds like you are
you don't really talk about your feelings
you say you believe in God
yet there you are...

You're getting worse
and worse
and there's nothing I can do
Why can't the doctors fix it?
isn't there something they can do?

the medicinal injections cause pain
the holes aren't fading away
you say things are getting worse
you don't go into detail
you aren't around as much

And there's nothing I can do
I'm not even there
I can't hold your hand
I can't help in any way.
If I make you a scarf you might die before you get it
if I decorate a card, you might laugh at it
but the laughing will cause you to cough horribly
I wish I could help but I can't.
All I can do is pray for you

it's been rough but I hope you get better
I wish there was something I could do
can't the doctors make you better?
isn't there something they can do?
life's not fair
and your my age too

your dreams can't they be fulfilled still?
all the things you still want to do...
you say your selfish and yes you are but you have a right to be
I just wish this selfish wish could come true
that'd you be healthy

how can you be so faithful?
is it all you have?
does it matter what I say?
I just want you to get better
Everyday
I check to see if you're okay
but still no reply
so I wonder why...
~~
yeah so one of my friends in India is dying. He's getting worse. He's a very honest person, and I appreciate that. I am very sad that there really is nothing I can do other than encourage him. I mean sure there are things I can do..but... I mean would they really matter? Idk